The Vagabond
by Ellen92
Summary: When Bella offers a vagabond a ride, her entire life is about to change. [In process of being rebeta'ed]
1. Mystery man

**CHAPTER 1: Mystery man**.

"Are you sure you're not gonna stay another night? It's already getting quite dark."

"Dad, I'll be just fine." I laughed at Charlie's protectiveness. I knew he wasn't really concerned about me driving now; he just didn't want me to leave already. Neither did I, to be honest. But I had no choice. Tomorrow I'd start the second week at my new job. My first real job after graduating.

Charlie had been proud about my achievements but wasn't very pleased because this job was the reason I'd be staying in Seattle for good. Of course I tried to visit Forks as much as possible but I didn't have that much free time. I knew Charlie felt quite lonely since I've moved to Seattle and, honestly, so was I. Yes, Seattle wasn't my favourite place in the world, but Forks didn't offer any jobs within my degree, so I was forced to move away.

"Just be careful, Bells"

"Always am." I answered him the way he always used to reply in former times. A little smile spread across his lips. He would be fine. He always is.

I was only driving for five minutes when it started to pelt. "Fuck," I muttered under my breath. I've always hated the rain, especially when I had to hit the roads. Being the daughter of a cop had brought me in touch with so many car accident scenarios that being in a vehicle wasn't my favourite pass time.

With a three hour drive ahead of me, I really needed to calm down. While keeping my eyes on the road, I reached for a CD. I was pleasantly surprised when without knowing I'd picked my favourite one. The music of Debussy came out of my car speakers and I was instantly feeling a lot less stressed.

Luckily, I wouldn't have to worry about hitting another car because as usual the road that leads out of Forks was deserted.

I was about twenty miles out of town when I noticed a figure walking on the side of the road. "Well, it is lovely weather for an evening walk," I laughed as I watched the rain falling from the sky. As I approached, I saw that this person was in no hurry at all but was already soaked.

I instantly felt bad and drove slowly next to what appeared to be a man. His clothes were poor and he definitely hadn't shaved in about a month. Though the sight of this man should have scared me, because this was like the perfect start of a typical bad horror movie, I moved to open the passenger's door. It was only then that the man looked my way from under his hood.

"Do you need a ride?" I seriously didn't know what I was thinking at that moment, but I felt so bad that I couldn't stop myself from offering. The man shook his head and remained his slow walk.

"Really? I mean, this road is endless and I don't think it'll stop raining anytime soon." This man must be out of his mind. I would be thrilled if someone would offer me a ride in this type of weather.

"Thank you miss, but I'll be fine." I was startled by his soft, velvet voice. Definitely not what I expected to hear.

"It's no problem, you know." Why did I feel rejected? I should not feel rejected because some poor man didn't want to ride with me, right? Then why did it feel that way?

"I don't think you want to be bothered with my presence." His voice sounded so sad.

"Well, maybe I do." That wasn't a lie. I could use some company. I hated being alone in a car. When there was someone to talk to I would at least forget about everything that could happen in traffic.

"I'm serious, get in." I started to get agitated when he remained silent. Why wouldn't he just accept the ride? I couldn't just drive away anymore now.

Should I beg him? It would be better for his health if he didn't have to walk all the way through this shitty weather.

"Please? I could use some company." It must have sounded weird to him because it was only then he stopped walking. I could smell victory. Victory? Did I just call it victory? Bella, you're offering this man a ride, it's not a competition.

"But I'm soaked. I wouldn't want to damage your car seats," he said, but I'm sure there was a humorous tone in his voice now.

"Will you just get in already?" I laughed.

"Sure?" Was he really questioning if I was sure of this. Hadn't I already asked him four or five times?

"I guess so," I shrugged.

When he finally got in the car I could see him clearly for the first time. He definitely was a lot younger than I initially thought he was. Twenty eight years old maximum, I'd say. The beard gave him a much older appearance but his eyes betrayed his youth. I was immediately captured by his eyes. They held a shade of green I'd never seen before. And his hair was one mess of untamed bronze locks. I swear, if he shaved that beard, he'd be even more gorgeous than he already is now.

"You really don't need to do this. I'm used to this weather," he said, and his words made me realize I was staring at him.

"I wasn't kidding when I said I could use someone to talk to. I never liked being alone in a car," I admitted. "I'm Bella, by the way."

"Bella..." It was like he was tasting my name or something. "I like it," he finally said, "My name is Edward."

"Nice to meet you, Edward" I said and laughed at the cliché sentence.

"The pleasure is all mine, Bella" His fake formal tone made me laugh even more.

"Where are you headed?" I asked.

"Nowhere in particular." And again, I could hear the same sadness from earlier in his voice.

How could you be going nowhere? It was only then when it dawned on me. His clothes, his appearance, why he was walking in the rain only a second ago,... This man was a tramp. I should have guessed sooner. I felt surprised when I didn't instantly felt scared because I'd picked up a vagabond. Horror scenario, like I said. But no, there was no part within me that screamed to kick him out of my car. He didn't seem like a bad type, at all. Or maybe I was favoured by his voice and his eyes. The owner of those features could not be a criminal, right?

"So, where am I supposed to drop you off then?"

"Wherever you want, I guess." Oh, this was going to be awkward.

"You really have no place you'd want to go to?" He could at least help me a little. Indicate one place. Or city.

"No. Where are you headed for?"

"Seattle. I live there." I don't know why I added that last part.

"Seattle is perfect," he replied, "but what are you doing here when you live in Seattle? This isn't some nice vacation spot."

"I used to live here with my dad. I've just visited him."

"Oh." A simple 'oh', that's all he said. Of course I already started wondering if I had said something wrong. I certainly did not on purpose.

When I looked back at him he had his head rested against the car seat and his eyes closed. A little smile crept across his face after a long period of silence. A really awkward silence, at least for me.

"It has been ages since I've heard that song. I didn't know other young people still listened to it." Was he talking about my CD?

"You know Debussy?" I asked astonished. He just nodded. Everyone else around my age I asked about this brilliant French composer looked at me like I was talking about an alien.

"How old are you?" I blurted out. It must have sounded like I expected him to be a hundred years.

"Twenty three," he replied with a laugh, "Guess the beard makes me look like some really old man." Only twenty three years old and already living on the streets. I couldn't stop myself from feeling bad for him.

"What happened?" I wasn't really thinking about what I said. Everything I thought just rolled over my tongue. But I was curious about his story. How does an, obviously attractive man, ends up on the streets that young?

"Huh?" Okay, my question was really vague. But I thought he would catch it. Or maybe he was just surprised by my directness.

I motioned at his appearance and then he got it. "Oh, that."

He remained silent for a – what seemed to me – really long time.

"I've run away from home. But I'd rather not talk about that. What kind of man is your father?" He must really not want to talk about it. He didn't even give me a chance to ask more about it. Of course I wanted to know why. I was one of those women who wanted to know everything. Especially when a gorgeous young man was involved. I had to keep myself from asking more about it. I realized that actually this was none of my business. It's not like we were involved or anything. I'd just offered, or should I say begged him to ride with me, and that's it. I could have been annoying and told him that if I couldn't know anything about him, he should know stuff about me, right? But I realized that if I shut up we'd fall into another awkward silence and that was not the reason why I offered him this ride.

So I talked about my father. Actually, there isn't much to say about Charlie that's of any importance, but to Edward it all seemed like an interesting story. I was surprised that he was really listening to what I was saying and asking for more information.

"And your mom? She doesn't live with him anymore, doesn't she?" That's where I felt like shutting up. He instantly caught it and excused himself for asking. It was only then I realized that maybe it would be good to talk about my mom. I couldn't remember the last time I did. Charlie always avoided the subject like the plague and Alice, my best friend, she didn't know how to handle the whole situation so the subject was never brought up either. Maybe this was my chance to talk about it. Maybe I would finally get my kind of closure I never got seven years ago.

"My mom passed away when I was fourteen."

"It's okay; you don't need to talk about it if you don't want to." He seemed really concerned and that's why I wanted to tell him.

I spend the next half hour talking about how my mom tried to fight the cancer but never succeeded. I fought back the tears while I was talking about her struggle and how broken I was right after she passed away.

I found out it was fairly easy to talk to him. It was only after an hour I realized I'd almost told him half of my life and it didn't even bother me.

"Am I boring you with my life?" He must have been by now. My life was just plain boring.

"No, not at all." His smile was so honest I had to believe him. And if I wouldn't believe him, I would have definitely been dazzled by it. Who was this man? I swear I'd never felt so comfortable with a stranger before.

"I was kind of waiting for more weird stories, actually. I mean, you did just pick up a complete stranger and told him your entire life." I had to laugh at this one. He was not only the owner of a gorgeous voice and the most amazing eyes I've seen in my entire life, he was funny too.

"This is the first time I've done something like this," I admitted.

"Really? You don't just drive around picking up guys to tell them your story? Well, that's a disappointment. I bet there would be a lot of men out there who'd want to take my seat."

"Oh shush." I lightly slapped his forearm. For the next five minutes we were both laughing so hard my vision was blurred by the tears.

"I can't remember the last time I've laughed this hard," he chuckled while wiping the corner of his eye. "Neither can I," I admitted after trying to recall one of those moments to memory.

"See, you should do this more often."

"I think by the third time I'd probably get mugged, so thank you but I think I'll pass. I'll find myself another hobby."

"Yeah, you probably should. Not everyone out there is as friendly as I am." I was sure I heard the sad tone in his voice again. Poor gorgeous man, what has happened to you?

"Tell me more about that Alice-girl? She seems interesting." And again, he was changing the subject to me. I was dying to know more about him but he just succeeded to avoid it every time.

"Interesting is an understatement," I laughed. Alice had been my best friend since, well, since ever. Well, to be honest she is my only real friend. We grew up together in Forks and both moved to Seattle a few years ago to start a career. I was so thankful that she'd find a job there too. It takes back a lot of the loneliness. We spend every Friday night together, at least that was the case before she met Jasper. Don't get me wrong, Jasper is an amazing guy and they're perfect for each other, but I just miss my friend sometimes.

As soon as I finished my animated story about Alice, 'cause believe me, she is one cheerful human being, I took a chance to get to know him.

"How 'bout you? Do you have any friends out there?" I laughed. And it was only until then I realized how stupid my question was. If he would have any friends, he probably wouldn't be walking on the side of the road in the pouring rain on a Sunday evening. Stupid, Bella, stupid stupid stupid.

"I used to," he admitted softly, "but they weren't real friends." Again I felt a feeling of sadness overwhelming me. I hated every one of his so called friends already. But I was glad he was talking to me about himself. I don't know why but I was intrigued by this person next to me.

"I guess you're the closest thing to a friend right now." Was that a question? Was he asking me to be his friend? At which point do you consider someone a friend? Well, he did already know more than half of my life, but I knew nothing about him.

He must have noticed that his reply had left me thinking. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna ask you for anything now. It was another way of saying that I don't have any friends left."

"Oh," was all I could say. And why was I disappointed about this? God, Bella, get yourself together, will you!

After a while, I found myself in need for some fresh air. "Do you mind if I pull in for a moment? I'm literally starving and there's a gas station with little supermarket a bit further down the road."

"Sure, no problem," he said and added, "You want me to get out?"

"No!" I answer a bit too quickly. He frowned. I must be really confusing to him. I just didn't want to let him go already, not now that he finally started to talk.

"You want something too?" I asked right before getting out of my car.

"No thank you." He tried to smile but it didn't touch his eyes like last time.

While I was walking through the little shop I realized that he probably declined my request out of politeness. If he was really a vagabond and didn't have any money, he probably wouldn't have had a decent meal in ages and be even more starving than I am. It's not like the area had a homeless shelter or anything.

I decided to buy two extra sandwiches. If he didn't want them, I could always throw them away, but I doubted that he would let me.

Relieved that he was still in my car, I took my seat again. Yes, I might have been afraid that he would have taken off while I was paying for the food. I immediately offered him a sandwich.

"I told you I didn't need anything," he said confused.

"Yeah, well, I don't like to eat alone, it makes me too aware, so please take it." It's wasn't a complete lie. I didn't like to be watched while I was eating.

Finally he accepted the piece of bread and I swear I've never seen a man eating that fast in my entire life.

"This was good," he said after swallowing the last piece. I immediately offered him the other one. "Oh no, thank you. I don't want to deprive you of your food," he said politely but I could see the longing in his eyes for the second sandwich.

"It's okay to admit that you're hungry." I knew I was taking a risk by saying this but I really didn't want him to decline out of politeness. If he was hungry, he should eat.

He diverted his eyes of me and stared at his hands in his lap. "I'm used to it by now, I guess," he quietly admitted.

If I didn't feel bad for him by now those last words would have definitely made me cross that line.

"Please take it." I offered him the sandwich again. "I have another one in my bag, so it's no big deal."

I let go a sigh of relief when he at last took the second piece. He seemed to take more time to eat this one. It was like he was cherishing every bite of it. I wanted to ask how long it had been since he had had any decent meal, but I found myself afraid for the answer.

While he was finishing his bread, I cautiously took a look at his clothes. His pair of jeans was completely worn and the dark green jacket he was wearing seemed way too big for him, but I guess it was warm.

As I drove into Seattle I was feeling sad that I would almost have to let him go. I still had so many questions but I doubted that he would want to answer any of it.

I didn't know where to drop him off, so I decided to just drive to my apartment and let him out there. I started the wonder if I could pull off driving a few detours to get to know more about him, but then I realized than once he got out of my car, I'd never see him again, so maybe in the end, it would be better if I didn't know.

I parked my car outside my building on my usual spot and got out. He was already out and looking at my building.

"You live here?" he asked.

"Yes. I've recently moved here. It's pretty okay, but I have problems with calling it home." Forks would always be my home, I guess. I felt too lonely here to call it home. Well, at least I had a place where I could spend the night. I looked at Edward and instantly felt bad again. How could I be so cynical about my own place if he didn't even have somewhere to go? Would it be weird if I asked him in? I found myself in a position I didn't know how to deal with. Oh god, what had I gotten myself into?

**Thank you for reading :)**

**Please review, because your ideas and criticism will definitely help me.**


	2. Stupid green eyes

_First of all, I do not own any of these characters. They all belong to Stepheny Meyer, and I'm really grateful she wanted to share them with us._

**Chapter 2: Stupid green eyes**

_Would it be weird if I asked him in? I found myself in a position I didn't know how to deal with. Oh god, what had I gotten myself into?_

"If you want to, you can come in for a moment. Freshen up a bit maybe..." I decided that it was only polite to ask.

"Oh no, thank you. I already owe you for the ride."

"It was nice to have some company," I admitted. The ride home had never been shorter than today and for the first time I wished it was longer. I really didn't want him to go already. There was so much I wanted to know and so little I knew.

"So, euhm... Thank you, I guess. Surviving might be a lot easier in the city," he chuckled while taking in the surroundings. Why did he laugh at that? Seriously? Didn't he understand how worried I was going to be?

"You're sure you don't want to come in?" Was I begging again? Oh well, who cares. I just couldn't let him leave already.

"No, I don't want to waste any more of your time," he said. Wasting my time? Did he really think he was wasting my time? Didn't he understand that I was almost begging him to stay longer? It was only then it hit me. Maybe he didn't want to be around me anymore. Yeah, that'd be it. He had enough of my boring stories.

"Well, I guess that's it then," I said hesitantly.

"Yeah, I guess." His smile dazzled me again. "I can't thank you enough for the ride, Bella."

"It's no problem, really."

This moment was so awkward. Would he just walk away? Do I just enter my apartment? I guess we were both looking like idiots not knowing what to do.

"Oh, there's a homeless shelter three blocks away." Really, Bella, really? You want that to be your final words? Great job, really. I could smack myself in the head.

"Thanks, but I don't really like those shelters. It always smells like feet and vomit," he stated. "Oh." I must admit that he did look like a neat guy. Though he lived on the streets he really looked like he really took care of himself. As I must say, for a vagabond he didn't smell bad. At all.

"Bella, it was really nice to meet you. I hope you'll get everything you dream of 'cause you really deserve it. Don't be so hard on yourself, you're an amazing person."

"So are you," was all I could utter. I felt my eyes were starting to tear. I hoped I could hold it together until he was gone.

"Oh, and say hi to Alice for me. And to your dad," he said with a wink before he started to walk away, backwards.

"I will," I yelled as he rounded the corner and disappeared. "I will," I whispered this time.

I quickly retrieved the key from my purse, opened the front door and ran the flight of stairs that leaded to my apartment. I felt a tear rolling down my face when I shut the door behind me. With an enormous sigh I let myself fall down on my couch. I wiped away the tears but they were quickly replaced by new ones. Why was I so intrigued by this man? I hardly knew him. I didn't even know his last name and yet, here I was, crying on my couch because I'd never see him again. Something must be really wrong with me.

The fact that I've just entered my lonely apartment didn't help to change my mood either. Did this place always feel so cold and empty? I would swear something was gone. There must have been. After a quick check –and of course nothing was missing- , I curled up on my couch again and put on the television. I contemplated calling Alice because she was the perfect person to divert my thoughts. But that would mean that I first had to explain what happened this evening and I really didn't feel like it. Alice is actually one of those people you really don't want to be minding your business.

After flipping through a few channels, and realized that there would be nothing interesting on television once again so I switched the damn thing off again. Maybe a book would be better to get my mind of today's events. I had quite a library at home. Yes, I was one of those girls who couldn't live without a book. Sue me. I was addicted to the smell of new books so I ended up buying at least one book every two weeks. Most of the books that were on my shelves I've read countless times. I browsed through the covers but every story seemed to have some element that would remind me of Edward and his gorgeous green eyes or his dazzling smile.

Completely agitated I gave up trying and just headed for my bedroom. Some sleep would probably help.

A pair of green eyes staring at me; that was all it took to wake me up again. I found myself lying in the middle of my double bed with the blanket completely messed up. The digits on my alarm clock announced it was only 3:56 AM. Fuck this. I tried hopelessly to fall back to sleep but I never succeeded. I kept tossing and turning but sleep never caught me. By the time it was 6 AM I decided it was useless so I got up. I made my way to the bathroom feeling like shit. This was going to be the worst day ever and it wasn't like any of my other days were all sunshine and rainbows.

After my morning routine, I made my way to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. While the coffee machine did it's work I picked up my phone and dialled Alice her number. There was no way I was going to spend the evening on my own again. After ringing four times, Alice finally picked up. By the sound of her voice I could tell that I'd woken her.

"Did I wake you? God, sorry Alice, I thought you'd be awake by now," I quickly said.

"Yeah, I wasn't," she replied shortly. Alice was most definitely not a morning person. Today I could completely understand her feelings.

"I was just wondering if you feel like hanging out tonight." Please say yes, please say yes, please say ... "Sure. What are the plans?" Thank god!

"Euhm, I was thinking about ordering some Chinese food and watching a movie?"

"Perfect. I'll be there at 6:30 PM," she said and immediately broke the connection. I had to laugh at her morning mood but was really relieved she agreed to spend the evening with me. Now it was just a matter of time of surviving this day.

I was pleasantly surprised when I realized the day I expected to be the longest ever had passed really quickly. I discovered I could really lose myself in my work. To many people my job must seem really boring but I liked doing the paperwork of 'Black company'.

When I finally finished the last document for today, I was already looking forward to my evening with Alice.

"Good evening, Bella," Angela greeted me on my way out. "You too," I replied just as I had done the previous week. Angela was already one of my dearest colleagues. She made me feel really welcome as a newbie. I found myself hoping to find a new friend in Angela.

Once I got home I immediately felt the desolation again. I was already counting down the minutes until Alice would arrive. Only fifteen more minutes. I decided to already place the order at our favourite take away Chinese restaurant because we both always ordered the same.

"Bella!" Alice shimmered when I opened the door. The complete opposite of the mood she was in this morning. I chuckled at her enthusiasm but was really happy than she could enjoy spending some time with me.

"Did you already order our usual menus?" she asked while making her way to the kitchen to grab herself something to drink. No need to tell Alice she should act like she was at home, she already did. Not that I minded, of course.

"Yup. It'll be here in a minute."

"Perfect. What do you think; a glass of red wine as appetiser?" she suggested while holding up a bottle she already chose.

"Sure," I said and handed her two glasses.

"What movie is served tonight," Alice said. I could say she was already getting tipsy. Maybe I should let her cut back on the wine because I really wanted to talk to her about yesterday.

"Soooo, how was your weekend with Charlie?" It was like Alice could read my mind.

"Good. Nothing special," I said.

"Come on Bella, something must have happened, otherwise I wouldn't be here. Admit it." She knew me too well. She knew me too damn well.

"Nothing happened while I was with my dad." Hello, how do you start a story like this? I couldn't be all like 'Hi, yeah, I picked up some homeless guy and I can't stop thinking about him? What do you think there is wrong with me?'

"Buuuuuuut...," Alice was giving me the look. That look she always gave me when she knew something important was coming. She had a radar for boy stuff, I swear. That's probably the reason she agreed to this evening instantly.

"Okay, you'll probably think I was really stupid, but nothing happened to me, so you're just gonna sit there and listen to the entire story before saying anything. Do we have a deal?" I really wasn't looking for some lecture about being irresponsible and reckless. I just needed a friend's advice.

"Are they any cute guys in this story?" Alice asked and I could already see her eye twinkle at the mentioning of male characters.

"Yes," I admitted.

"I KNEW IT!" She yelled. "Tell me EVERYTHING." The movie was already forgotten. Alice was all ears for my story now.

"You promise not to interfere before I give you permission?"

"On my grandmother's grave," she said formally.

So I told her the entire story from the moment I offered Edward a ride until the dream that woke me up last night.

"Permission to speak?" Alice asked as I stopped talking.

"Permission granted."

"What the HELL where you thinking, Bella? He could have been a rapist. Or worse, a murderer! Seriously, Bella?" Okay. I thought I would avoid this by asking her to wait until the end of the story. Apparently I was wrong.

"Alice, that doesn't matter now..." "HELL YES IT MATTERS! I really wouldn't like watching the news seeing that my best friend got murdered because she was so stupid to offer a ride to a homeless guy."

"Well, I did not get murdered or raped or attacked or whatsoever so can we please get to the real problem?"

"I don't see any problem. I can only see you were really lucky you've avoided any trouble."

God, this woman was infuriating right now. Could she not see that I really was in need of some advice here?

"Alice, please..." I was on the verge of tears again.

"Bella, you really don't want to get involved with a guy like that, believe me. I'm surprised he didn't ask you for any money after you dropped him off."

"He's not a bad guy, Alice. I almost had to feed him the sandwich or he wouldn't take it."

"I bet if it would have been money, he wouldn't have been so hesitant." Okay, so Alice wasn't really fond of Edward.

Maybe this was the first time I wouldn't be able to get any advice from my best friend. "You know what, never mind."

"Bella, you should just forget about him. It's not like you're ever gonna see him again."

"Figured that out already," I murmured. "But how?"

"Stop thinking about him. It's that simple. So, so can we watch the movie now?"

Like I said, I wouldn't get any advice from her anymore. I guess if it doesn't involve me getting a boyfriend, Alice was off duty. Jeez, thanks.

"I don't feel like watching a movie anymore," I stated.

"But, isn't that why I'm here?" Alice said while she made her way to the DVD shelf.

"You're here to give me advice, which you're clearly not willing to do." I had the right to be mad at her, right? I mean, she was my best friend. She's supposed to support me in this.

"Bella, there is no advice needed here. Time will make you forget him. AND a movie might do it too," she said while waving my copy of 'the holiday' in front of me.

"How is Charlie doing by the way?" She asked once the movie had started. Yes, Alice was one of those girls who wanted to watch a movie, but never really watched it. She was always talking throughout the entire film.

"Fine. But he's not coming over for Christmas. He has to work." Yes, my life couldn't get any worse. I'd be all alone on Christmas Eve this year. Merry Christmas, Bella!

"I can stay home if you want to." And there was my best friend again.

"Alice, no, you're going to Jasper's parents for the first time. I wouldn't want you to miss out on that. Jasper will be really disappointed if you cancel." That was true. Jasper was really looking forward to officially introducing Alice as his girlfriend.

"But I don't want you to be alone on Christmas Eve," she pouted.

"I'll be just fine. If you look at it, it's an evening like every other evening."

"Bella, you know that's not true. No one should be alone on Christmas Eve."

"There are tons of people who have to celebrate Christmas all alone every year. I think I can manage one year without company," I said.

"Are you sure?" Alice looked at me like I was a sick puppy or something.

"Positive."

I couldn't stay mad at Alice for a long period of time and tonight was another proof of that. Damn her! We ended up watching the movie and to be honest I did have a good time. I even forgot about Edward, most of the time. And that's why Alice is my best friend.

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><p>"Fuck this," I cursed under my breath while I was trying to make my way through the patched snow to get to my front door. I hated snow even more than I hated the rain. It was not only too cold, it was one big fucking mess that always stuck to your shoes.<p>

"Guess we'll be having a white Christmas after all," Mrs Norris, my next door neighbour, said with a smile. At least someone was enjoying this. I politely smiled back at her without elaborating the fact that I hated everything about this Christmas.

Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and I would be all alone. I know I said it wasn't a big deal, but it really was. I already hated being alone on a normal evening and now I was going to be alone on the evening that's all about family and warm feelings. Fuck me.

My dad had already called me this morning to excuse himself for the hundredth time and I of course kept saying that I'd be fine.

After taking off my boots at the front door to keep my apartment snow-free I made my way to the kitchen with my grocery bags. I might have to celebrate Christmas on my own, but that didn't mean I could have a nice meal, right?

I was only halfway though emptying my bags when the doorbell rang.

"Who the hell is that?" I murmured while throwing a quick glance at the clock. 8 PM. I wasn't expecting anyone and it's not like I have tons of friends who always stop by uninvited. I was trying intensely to think about a person that could be in front of my door right now but no one came to my mind.

With an agitated sigh, I threw the bag of carrots on the counter and headed for the door.

**Thank you for reading. :) You're the best! **

**I don't know when I'll be able to update again. I have exams coming up next week and I should be studying instead of writing. **

**Reviews do make me want to continue writing ;) *hint* **

**I promise to update as soon as possible :) **

**Oh, and another special thanks to my beta ihavadonkey :)**

**Lots of love, Ellen. **


	3. Frozen

_I do not own any of these characters, Stephenie Meyer does._

_This chapter is slightly shorter than the previous ones but I wanted it to end at that moment. It felt right to stop it there. Sorry guys. I promise I'll make it up to you. :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Frozen<strong>

I was already walking towards the door when the bell chimed again. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming, I'm coming," I yelled. "Doesn't anyone have any patience anymore," I muttered under my breath.

Surprisingly Alice and Jasper were on the other side of the door, with the biggest grins on their faces.

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd already be on your way to Jasper's parents?"

"We're about to leave but we wanted to stop by once more. You know, because you're going to be alone tomorrow," Alice said with a hint of sadness in her voice. Great, remind me again of my loneliness. Thanks, Alice!

Yeah, I know, I know, I should be happy that they made a detour to stop by but all I could think of was that they'd be together with family and I would be spending my evening alone.

"So, Merry Christmas Bella!" Alice said happily and pushed a flat square present in my hands, "It's from both of us."

"Guys, I don't have your gifts yet. I was gonna go buy them tomorrow." No really. This was no excuse or anything.

"Oh, it's alright. It's not like we're never gonna see each other again, right?" Alice said.

"Who knows, maybe my parents will want to keep you," Jasper said while kissing her temple.

"Oh no, I'm gonna need her back. I need both of you here on New Year's Eve! No excuses!" There was absolutely no way I was gonna spend New Year's Eve alone as well. Not gonna happen.

"Don't worry, Bella, we'll be here," Jasper laughed.

"Will you open your present already? We don't have all night!" Alice beamed. She was practically jumping of excitement. I thought this was a present for me?

"Guys, this is too much," I said while looking at the 100 dollar gift card for one of my favourite clothes store.

"Hardly. You need new clothes. So now we have a date to go shopping," she said while clapping her hands. I knew this was going to be a gift for Alice too. She was way too enthusiastic about this. Not that I minded of course. And she was right; I really needed of a new pair of jeans.

"Thank you so much, really."

"Sweetheart, we really have to leave now," Jasper said while checking his watch.

After a quick hug I let them both go. "You're presents will be waiting when you get back," I promised.

I was only seated for five minutes when the door bell rang again. "What could they possibly have forgotten?" I wondered amused. It would be so typical of Alice to forget mentioning or saying something.

I opened the door already laughing only to find out that it wasn't Alice or Jasper. It was my mysterious green eyed man who was waiting on the other side. Oh, not mine of course, but you know what I mean.

I didn't have time to be all happy about this sudden change because one look was enough to tell that this wasn't some pleasure trip. He was bent over against my door frame, shivering badly. "Edward," I gasped. Without thinking, I quickly urged him in.

I could tell he was trying to say something but he was too cold and beaten up. His lips were all blue and I immediately noticed his green jacket was gone. Yes, sue me for still remember that he was wearing a green jacket. The only thing he was wearing now was his worn jeans and a gray sleeveless shirt. Definitely not enough to protect him from the icy temperatures of this year's winter.

"I-I-I'm-m-m s-s-so-sorr-r-ry-y-y," he tried to utter.

"God, Edward, you're freezing. Let me get you a blanket," I said when my mind finally began to work again. I rushed to my bedroom to get a warm bedspread out of my cupboard.

And that's when I started to freak out. He was really here. Here, in my apartment, sitting on my couch. The man I couldn't stop thinking about since he had left me on the sidewalk a month ago. I was about the squeak of happiness when I remembered his condition. Get yourself together, Bella, he needs your help.

I made my way back to the living room and wrapped the blanket around him. I started to rub his arms in an attempt to warm him. He was still trembling severely. I wondered if wouldn't be better to just bring him to a hospital. It wasn't hard to tell that he was super cooled.

For the entire time he had kept his head down and it was starting to annoy me. Not only did it block my view of his gorgeous green eyes, I also couldn't check the injuries in his face.

"Edward, look at me," I ordered. When he didn't look up again, I took his beardy chin and forced his eyes on me.

It wasn't as bad as I expected at first. There was a nasty cut in his lip and his eye would probably be black by tomorrow, but that was it. But god, he looked so sad. I almost started crying at the sight of him. I already hated the bastard who did this to my beautiful man.

"What the hell happened to you?" Okay, I didn't mean to snap at him but I felt so much anger towards the person that had hurt him that I could hardly control myself.

"I'm so-sorry. I di-didn't want t-to bother you, bu-ut I had nowhere else to go," he whispered sadly. Luckily the trembling had subsided a lot already, but I could literally feel my heart break at his words.

"Edward, you're not bothering me. Jesus, you could have frozen to dead," I said concerned.

God, he looked so vulnerable, all wrapped up in that blanket, still shivering. I could see that he was trying to hold back the tears and by the sight of that, so was I.

I quickly went to the kitchen to get a washcloth so I could clean that cut in his lip. When I approached, he immediately pulled away from me.

"Edward, that needs cleaning or it'll start irritating. Especially if you're planning on keeping that beard." Why wouldn't he just let me take care of him?

"You shouldn't be doing this," he said quietly.

"Don't be such a man!" I said and turned his head back to me so I could clean that cut. He flinched slightly when I started wiping the blood.

"It's not that bad. It'll heal soon," I explained.

"I should probably go now...," he said.

"Hell no!" I yelled at him. This time I would not let him leave without answering some questions. He owed me that much.

"You're not going back out there dressed like that! Edward, it's freezing. Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"It's not like I have a choice." His voice was more powerful for the first time since he had arrived. "I'll find myself another jacket somewhere."

"No, I cannot let you leave like this. Do you have any idea how worried I have been this past month, knowing you were out there in this cold..."

"You were worried about me?" A little smile spread across his face and god, it looked so good on him.

"Yes," I admitted.

"Guess you're the only one then." If I wouldn't have been already heartbroken by his appearance, these words most definitely would have done it. I felt like wrapping my arms around him and never letting go, but maybe that would only scare him away.

We were both silent for a while as I didn't want to start asking all the questions I had. I was kind of hoping he would start talking by himself, because he wanted me to know what happened, not because I forced him to explain it.

"Living here is much harder than I thought it would be," Edward sighed. Finally, he talks! "Well, it is easier to find food and a decent place to sleep, but it's much more dangerous. Apparently, this whole city is ruled by gangs, if you're not a part of one, you're screwed."

"Did they do this to you?" I asked. He nodded.

"I knew I shouldn't have been in that neighbourhood but I was trying to find that vacant house again to sleep. This whole city is a maze and I just got lost. All I did was crossing the street when two men suddenly jumped in front of me and smacked me to the ground. They told me I had to stay out of their territory or they'd kill me. And then those stupid fuckers stole my jacket!" All of the sudden he was so angry and it scared me. His lovely green eyes seemed to darken as the rage hit him.

"Wait WHAT? You knew about the gangs before they hit you?"

"Yes." How long did I already live in Seattle? I've never heard of any gangs before. But I guess if you have your own place and don't go wandering the streets at night you can avoid those types of criminals.

"Then why did you stay here?" In a way I was happy he did because in another city he might have been beaten up too and then he wouldn't have a place to go to.

"I don't know," he said quietly. All the anger was immediately gone and his face was full of sadness again. I could easily tell he did know why he didn't leave just by the way he had suddenly diverted his eyes from me.

"I'm really sorry. If I had another place I could have gone to, I wouldn't have come here."

"Edward, will you stop apologizing already? I'm glad you're here and I mean it. It's not like I have hundreds of friends coming over right now, so you're kind of saving me from loneliness."

"I guess I am doing something good then." His smile made me feel warm inside again. I swear that smile of his deserves an Oscar or whatever.

"Yes, you are."

After that, we both decided to drop the whole subject of his attack and I was happy to see that we were falling back into our easy conversation we started a month ago. I realized I was, again, talking more about myself then he was about him. He kept asking all kinds of questions like he was trying to know every detail of me. Normally this type of questioning would annoy me but surprisingly I didn't mind it this time.

I did discover some things about him as well like the fact that he really liked to read as well. He proudly retrieved his copy of "Romeo and Juliet" out of his old, dirty backpack declaring it was the only thing he couldn't leave behind when he left home. I instantly liked him even more. Maybe a little too much already. There weren't many guys that weren't afraid to admit they loved this type of love story. We ended up talking about our favourite books for the rest of the evening and time had never passed so quickly.

"I should probably leave now," Edward said after taking a look at the clock, "It's already past midnight."

"I'm not gonna let you go out there in this thin shirt," I said while motioning his shirt. He had already dropped the blanket now that his body temperature had gone back to normal. "You'll be super cooled again after five minutes and I can't let that happen so please stay here tonight. You can sleep on the couch." Going outside dressed like this would equal a suicide mission and there was no way I was letting him leave.

"Bella, I can't accept that. I really can't. I don't want to bother you with my presence here."

"I don't mind. I really don't. But euhm... if you don't want to be here, I could book you a hotel room. There is one two blocks away." Maybe he didn't want to stay here. Maybe he didn't even like me and was only being friendly because I had just saved him. He did mention a few times that he wouldn't have come if he had another option. Oh fuck.

"Bella, it's really not that I don't want to be here, believe me. I just don't want to be any trouble to you," he said, looking straight at me. There was so much honesty in his eyes that I could not not believe him."

"It's no trouble so please... stay."

"I'd be very honoured." And again, that dazzling smile of his. I could feel that I was starting to blush. Damn him.

But then again, who cares, he would stay the night. Hallelujah. I could finally get some sleep. Yes, I had been lying awake in my bed frequently the last weeks because I was wondering where he was and if he was okay. That man had literally conquered half of my thoughts and right now I couldn't even be bothered about it. He was here and he wasn't leaving anytime soon. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this happy.

I was already making my way to my bedroom to retrieve a pillow from the same cupboard.

"Here," I said and tossed him the cushion, "Make yourself comfortable and if you need anything else, please act like you're home."

"Thank you Bella. I really appreciate this."

"My pleasure," I said as made my way to my bedroom. Suddenly I was hesitant about leaving him alone in my living room afraid that if I woke up tomorrow, he would be gone.

"Please don't leave without saying goodbye," I blurted out. I must have sounded desperate. Maybe I was? Oh Edward, what are you doing to me?

"I won't. Promise," he said while making himself comfortable. I smiled back at him.

"Goodnight Edward."

"Goodnight Bella."

With a content sigh I let myself fall on my bed. What an evening.

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><p><em>Thanks guys :)<em>

_Some people asked me about some Edward outtakes and POV. There will be some later in the story. And if I do write any outtakes, you'll get them at the end of the story, promise :)_

_Reviews make me happy ;) And I don't mind some criticism. They can only help me :)_

_See you again at chapter 4 :)_


	4. Not so lonely Christmas

_I do not own these characters. Stephenie Meyer does._

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><p><strong>Chapter4: Not so lonely Christmas.<strong>

"Edward is here!" were the first words that shot through my mind when I woke up the next morning. Or at least, I hoped he would still be here. What if he left? Fuck, calm down, Bella, he promised he would stay and he seemed pretty sincere.

As silent as possible I tiptoed to the living room, not caring about the fact that I was still in my tank top and sleep shorts or that I hadn't combed my hair yet. Oh lord, I bet it looked like a bird's nest.

I sighed relieved when I saw that he was still sleeping, looking so perfectly peaceful. I suddenly felt the urge to touch him but I stopped myself as I wouldn't want to be caught red handed. I could already picture myself with a head as read as a tomato trying to give him an explanation that wouldn't make me look like a fool. I bet I would stand there in front of him like 'Oh, you euhm, had something, yeah, on your forehead and euhm, yeah...' Followed by a complete awkward silence where I would walk away and wanted to slam my head into a wall. No, not gonna happen.

I decided to let him sleep a little longer while I freshened up in the bathroom and I caught myself doing a little more effort than usual.

When I returned, he was still asleep. I contemplated waking him up but I knew that if I woke him he would probably feel like leaving and I didn't want to see that happen already. To be honest, I didn't want to see that happen at all. The longer he stayed, the longer I had company.

Maybe I could ask him to stay another night? Would that be weird? I hoped he would feel sorry for me if he heard I'd be spending Christmas Eve alone. He probably wouldn't have an appointment for tonight, right? I had to stop my mind from rambling so I made a mental note to ask him about this later and with that thought I instantly felt a lot happier again. The idea that I might not have to be alone tonight really brightened up my mood.

Suddenly I remembered that I had planned to collect Alice and Jasper their presents this morning. Would it be rude if I just left? I really didn't want to wake him as I contemplated that he might use his sleep. I guess it wouldn't harm to leave him alone for an hour. I quickly retrieved a piece of paper and a pen from my drawer and wrote him a note.

'_I just needed to pick up some presents. I'll be back soon. Btw. Feel free the use the bathroom to freshen up._

_Bella.'_

I re-read my scribbles and questioned if I should add that he wasn't allowed to leave before I got back but decided not to. I really hoped he would stay automatically. I put the little paper next to him, put on my coat and with one last look I closed the door behind me.

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><p>Throughout the entire process of retrieving my key out of my purse and unlocking the door I found myself repeating the same phrase in my mind over and over again. 'Please don't be gone, please don't be gone, please don't be gone...'<p>

When I entered I immediately noticed the empty couch. Okay, no need to panic already, Bella, he might as well just got up. I heaved a sigh of relief when I saw that his backpack was still in the same place where I left it this morning.

"Edward?" I called out as I placed my purse and shopping bags on the counter.

"Bathroom," he yelled. Like I already guessed.

I took the morning paper out of my purse and started to leaf through it. The entire front page was dedicated to the freezing cold. Apparently this was going to be one of the hardest winters of the last century.

"Good morning." I looked up from my newspaper to return his greetings but I forgot how to talk when I took in his appearance. Holy shit, there was a Hugo Boss model in my living room. Holy fucking shit. He had shaved his beard and oh my god, he immediately looked five years younger. Luckily his eye wasn't that black after all and combined with that cut in his lip, he could easily pull off a bad guy image. I wasn't complaining. At all.

Apparently, I must have been staring at him because he started to laugh and of course I could feel my cheeks were already flushed. When will I ever stop embarrassing myself?

"Can I?" he said while pointing at the chair next to the counter.

"Of course," I said while rolling my eyes. Did he really just ask me if he could sit down? God, this man was perfect boyfriend material. Oh no, Bella, don't start thinking stuff like that. Just don't. You'll end up getting hurt.

"I've bought you something," I said after regaining my composure.

"What?" he asked confused.

I pulled a dark green woollen sweater out of the shopping bag and threw it at him. When I saw it in the store I couldn't stop thinking about how good it would look on him, especially with his green eyes.

"Bella...," he said disapproving, "I really can't accept it."

Why didn't it surprise me that he was going to be difficult about this? Luckily, I had it covered. "Well, you'll have to, because I can't do anything with it. And besides, you should see it as a Christmas gift."

"I don't have anything to give you in return," he said sadly.

"Your company is more than enough for me," I replied, "By the way, I was wondering, do you have somewhere to be tonight?"

"Euhm, no," he said confused again. Sometimes I really wondered what was going on in that pretty little head of his.

"Well, your Christmas present for me can be your company tonight, what do you think?" Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes...

"Bella, I bet you have better people to spend Christmas Eve with then me."

"Actually, I don't. Charlie has to work and Alice and Jasper are spending their evening with his parents, so it's just me tonight."

"Really?"

"No, I'm planning the biggest party ever here. Don't you see I'm so busy preparing everything?" I replied sarcastically.

"Can I help?" he said, trying to hold his laughter. Yeah yeah Edward, pretend like you didn't hear the sarcasm. But I liked it. I liked that we could have this playfulness between us.

"Only if you plan on staying tonight," I said a bit more serious again.

"I'm really not keeping you away from anything else?"

"Nowp," I said, plopping the 'p'

"Well, I guess I'll have to stay then. It's really scandalous that a beautiful girl like you should spend Christmas Eve on her own." Did he just call me beautiful while smiling that dazzling smile? Swoooooooon. He really must be trying to kill me. I almost missed the fact that he actually agreed to stay tonight. This Christmas wouldn't be lonely after all. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this happy.

Suddenly I noticed he still had the new sweater in his hands.

"Aren't you gonna try it on?" I said while motioning the piece of clothing.

With one swift motion he pulled the sweater over his head and god, I couldn't have been more right. That dark green looked so good on him.

"Perfect," I approved.

"I like it, I really do. Thank you so much." Alice would have killed me if I just gave her a sweater for Christmas but Edward looked like he just got everything he ever wanted. And in a certain way, it made me feel sad. He deserved so much more.

"So, do we have to prepare anything for our amazing party tonight?" Edward finally said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Euhm, not really. I've already gone to the supermarket yesterday and I guess there is enough for the both of us. I was going to keep it small, making some pasta, but if you like something else I could go on another shopping trip."

"Bella, I'm used to eating leftovers, so anything is fine by me." And bam, I was feeling bad for him again. It made me even feel worse because he didn't seem to care about it.

"Euhm, what do we do now?" Oh right, we did have some time left before we had to start cooking. What do you do when your homeless friend comes over? Play house? I giggled at my thoughts, though I knew I should laugh with it.

"What?" he asked.

"Inside joke," I smirked. He shot me a weird look which caused me to laugh even harder.

"Can I make a request?" he asked.

"Sure."

"I haven't seen a movie in ages and I don't know, maybe... but only if you want too..." Was he feeling ashamed of it? He was requesting it like he was asking me for a million dollars or something. Anyway, I was happy that we at least would have something to do.

"Perfect plan," I said, "but we'll have to go to the video library then because I don't have a lot of DVDs."

"Oh, but that's not necessary, any movie is fine." Well, most of the movies I owned were classics like Romeo and Juliet, Pride and prejudice and The Wizard of Oz. Yes, my movie collection pretty much resembled my book collection.

"You can take a look at the ones I have but I doubt that you'll be interested in one of those," I warned him.

"Well, you're preference of books pretty much matches mine so you might be surprised."

"Pick whatever you like and I'll take us something to drink." I pointed to the cabinet where he could find my modest movie collection while I made my way to the kitchen.

A minute later he walked into the kitchen looking so enthusiastic and with four DVDs in his hands. "You have the most amazing collection of movies. Exactly the ones I thought you would have, to be honest."

I smiled at him. "I guess you found something you like then."

"Most definitely," he beamed, "I picked out four and now you'll have to make the final choice."

"I've already seen all of them numerous times so it doesn't matter. Put in whatever you want to see, it is fine by me," I said while reaching for the glasses.

"Okay." He looked so happy that it made my heart melt.

When I entered the living room, carrying our drinks, I saw the title screen of Australia.

"It didn't fit in your collection, but I've always wanted to see this one. I hope you're okay with it."

"It was a present from Alice. We saw that one together in the cinema last year," I explained, "It's a really good one."

"Excellent." He made himself comfortable on the couch and started the movie. I seated myself next to him with a comfortable space between us. I really wanted to snuggle into him but that might have been weird, so I decided to stick with about ten centimetres.

The first minutes I wasn't even paying attention to the film. He was far more interesting to watch and I found myself constantly looking in his direction.

"What?" he asked when he noticed that I was staring again.

"Nothing," I said with a little smile and diverted my eyes back to the screen, "You're really interesting when you're watching a move."

"Well excuse me!" he laughed "and now shush, I'm trying to concentrate." Could he be any cuter?

"Yeah, focus on Nicole Kidman," I laughed.

"Naaah, she's not my type." "Oh, more a fan of Hugh Jackman, aren't you?" I said. "Definitely," he snickered and then winked at me. "I do like his hat, though."

"I bet you do." He nodded impassioned and then quickly looked back at the screen.

"Can we watch it again?" he asked enthusiastic when the credits rolled over the screen. I couldn't hold my laughter. I was so close to asking his age again 'cause he really looked like a five year old now.

"Wouldn't you rather watch another one?" I said after watching the clock. We still had time for one more before we had to start preparing dinner.

"Oooh yes." He said, already getting up to pick another movie. Okay, he was officially five again.

We ended up watching Wizards of Oz and I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that he was silently singing along with 'Somewhere over the rainbow'.

"Do you believe there is a place where all dreams come true?" he asked seriously.

"Euhm, I guess not. I think you should work to make your dreams become reality." Did that make sense? It must have because he nodded and then looked back at the screen. I wondered where that question came from but decided to drop it and focus on the movie again.

"I was going to make a special pasta, but I don't feel like it anymore," I announced as the film had ended, "Is a simple lasagne okay for you?"

"More than okay," he said with the biggest smile on his face, "Can I help you with anything?"

"Could you make the tomato sauce?" I asked.

"Yes, chef!"

I showed him where he could find the ingredients and we both started working in a comfortable silence next to each other. Every now and then I caught him staring and after a while I made me feel too aware of myself.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said, "You're really interesting when you're cooking." Did he just steal my lines from before? The smug bastard! I hit him playfully in the chest while finishing my layers.

"Cooking relaxes me," I added.

"I can tell," he said with a genuine smile.

"Edward, could you get the lasagne out of the oven? I could do it myself but I don't want to end up in the hospital again with burn marks." Yes, my oven hates me.

"Oh, you're one of those girls that need a guy to do the dangerous work?" What? NO! I narrowed my eyes at him and made my way to the oven. I can do this. Oh please, Bella, don't burn your fingers this time.

"Just kidding, I've got it. I'm not really looking forward to spending Christmas Eve in the hospital," he laughed and took my place in front of the oven.

"I hope you burn your own fingers," I joked while I made my way to the table.

"Yeah, I hope so too 'cause then you'll have to take care of me again."

"Well well, you're one of those guys who want to be all tough and manly but in the end loves to be taken care of."

"Yeah, I am," he nodded fervently, "but I won't need any comforting tonight, 'cause look, I got it out without burning myself." He held up the pot of lasagne like a trophy before setting it on the table.

"I'm so proud of you," I said in a playfully flat tone while I took my seat facing him.

"Oh you so are, admit it, Bella, admit it!"

"You are so weird, you know that?" I laughed while I cut him a piece of pasta.

"Yes I do," he said proudly while slapping his chest. I rolled my eyes at him. "You better eat that before it gets cold."

"Yes ma'am."

"This seriously is the best lasagne I've ever tasted," Edward said after swallowing the last bit. I bet if I would allow him he would lick out the pot.

"You probably say that every time you've eaten it."

"No, I don't. This was really good, Bella." Okay, he meant it. Well, at least I'm good at something then.

"You do realize you're praising yourself a bit now too, co-chef?"

"Yes, I do, I do," he said. His eyes were so bright and playful and I was suddenly wondering if I didn't start to like him a little too much. Damn him and his... perfect body and perfect eyes and perfect everything.

"Can we watch another movie after we've done the dishes?" he said while starting to clear the table.

"Oh no, we're NOT gonna do the dishes on Christmas Eve. No way. I'll do it tomorrow. Just leave it in the sink now."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Too bad, I would have liked to see you covered in soap bubbles," he smirked. GAME ON, MISTER. I quickly made my way to the counter, filled the sink and poured an overdose of detergent in the water. It didn't take long for the foam to appear. Before I was able to take a handful of soap bubbles he clamped my hands behind my back.

"I do remember me mentioning you covered in bubbles, not me, so unless you're planning on throwing those at yourself, I'll have to stop you." I vainly tried to free myself from his grip.

"Edward, let gooooo." I tried to sound severe but I couldn't hold my laughter.

He managed to take both of my hands in one of his and with his free hand he took a handful of bubbles. I started to struggle harder in order to avoid being attacked and eventually managed to escape out of his grip.

"You're not getting away with this so easily, lady," he said and started to chase me all around the apartment with the bubbles in his hand. I quickly locked myself in my little office room next to my bedroom.

"You'll have to come out of there someday," he laughed, "and I'm not leaving this spot before you do." I heard him taking the chair and positioning it in front of the door. Fuck me.

"Well, you'll have to use the bathroom someday too," I yelled back at him.

"So do you," he replied. Dammit. Why did I have to have such a small bladder? I knew I would have to come out eventually but I wasn't going to surrender that easily. I looked through the keyhole to see if there was any way that I would make it out of this room without being attacked. Maybe if I was quick enough I could sprint back to the kitchen and get myself a load of foam before he was able to get up from his chair.

I silently counted down to one, threw the door open and rushed outside. But I wasn't fast enough. He managed to clamp his arm around my waist and before I knew it my head was covered in bubbles. I quickly scrapped them off me and threw what was left on his head. Ha, there you go! He let go of me and we were both laughing as we were trying to wipe the foam of our faces.

"Oh FUCK," I shouted out when I walked back toward the kitchen and saw foam coming from around my kitchen island. I hurried back only to find my floor covered in bubbles. I must have been a little too enthusiastic when I poured the detergent in the water. I could hear Edward's boisterous laugh behind me.

"It's not funny, Edward."

"It is a little funny," he snickered and I couldn't hold my laughter at the sight of his face.

I pulled out a bucket and ceiling-mop and pushed it in his hands. "If you think it's funny, you can start mopping the floor," I said with a huge grin on my face. GOTCHA!

Eventually I helped him to clean up the mess and an hour later my kitchen was as good as new.

"That was fun," Edward said, "Can we do it again?"

"Absolutely not," I replied, "I thought you wanted to watch another movie?"

"Oh, right. Is it okay if I put in Moulin Rouge?"

"Perfect choice," I said and let myself fall back on the couch next to him. I decided that I could make the gap between us a little smaller now.

I noticed that he became quieter as the movie went on. It was like he wasn't even paying attention anymore. Suddenly he grabbed the remote controller and pressed pause.

He turned his body towards me and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Remember when I told you I ran away from home?" he said quietly, all the playfulness from before totally gone. Oh god, was he going to tell me more about himself? I didn't know if I was ready for this. It seemed pretty serious and I most definitely preferred the light-hearted atmosphere from before. But then again, I really wanted to know what happened to him so I nodded in order for him to continue.

"I lied," he said sadly, "I didn't run away, my parents kicked me out."

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><p><em>Don't you just love their playfulness? <em>

__For everyone who hasn't seen Australia yet: DO IT NOW. It's one of the most amazing movies ever!__

_And yes, Edward's background story is coming up next :) _

_Anyway, thank you for your support :D It really means a lot to me that you're willing to read this _

_I don't know when I'll be able to update again, as I have my first exam Tuesday. (Wish me luck please :o)  
><em>

_Please review so I know what you think of it ;)_

_X Ellen_

_For everyone who hasn't seen Australia yet: DO IT NOW. It's one of the most amazing movies ever!_


	5. Rebel

_(If you have an alert on this story, I'm sorry for posting it twice.. I'm having some troubles here...)  
><em>

_Long chapter, to make up for the previous one ;)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Rebel<strong>

"_I lied," he said sadly, "I didn't run away, my parents kicked me out."_

Oh shit. There was far more to this story then I would have ever expected. But what the hell did he do to get thrown out? He doesn't look like a bad guy or a criminal. I mean, I've had him over for a day now and not once did he do anything that would have made me wish I'd never let him in last night. There must be something wrong with his parents; that's the only possibility.  
>"I'm not who I used to be anymore," he said softly when he noticed the dubious look on my face. Oh, that of course explains a lot and provides me with a whole range of new scenarios.<p>

"No, actually that's not the right way to put it." Edward, don't start confusing me, okay? "I'm still the same on the inside, I think. I've always been this way, but to the outside world, I tried to be someone different when I was younger."  
>"Tougher?" I asked. It must indeed be hard to be a guy that is so passionate about classics. That's more girl stuff. At least, that's what society thinks of course. I couldn't be happier that he was willing to come out for it<br>"Yeah, something like that."  
>He was silent for a while and I was getting more and more curious but decided not to push him to continue his story.<br>When he took a deep breath I knew that I needed to prepare myself.  
>"My parents... they never had time for any of us," he started. "With us, I mean my older sister, Madelyn, my younger brother Emmett and myself." He smiled sadly at the mentioning of his siblings. "Elisabeth and Mark were always working. And with always, I literally mean always. Sometimes they didn't even come home for weeks; they just stayed at the office. And if they did come home to sleep, it was past midnight and the three of us were already in bed. The few times I did see them were on special occasions like my birthday or a holiday, I always asked them when they would be home more often. They always answered that we didn't need them here, that the housekeeping would look after us. Apparently they never understood that at that age I didn't want housekeeping to take care of me, I wanted my own mom and dad." There was so much pain tangible in that last sentence and it already teared me up. Hold it together, Bella.<br>"When I was twelve, I realized they'd never make time for us besides the official occasions. Their jobs were far more important. I quickly discovered that by being the perfect, well-behaved son they would never make any time for me and that's when I started to change. The first time, it was an accident. Some kids were making fun of Emmett on the playground and I, as a big brother, of course couldn't let that happen." He looked so proud of himself. I could really picture him, as a little boy, standing up to some older guys because they were picking on his brother.  
>"In the end we were all sent to the principal's office and when he told me he had called my parents and they were on their way right that instant, I didn't even feel bad anymore for hitting that guy in the face. I know it's supposed to scare you, to be in the same room with the headmaster and your parents, but I felt giddy because I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen them. Of course when Mark and Elisabeth came in, both furious, but for once, they'd forgotten about their jobs and were thinking of me, so I couldn't be bothered."<br>No, you wouldn't hear me get mad at him for that. It's a normal reaction of a child to want his parent's attention, so... It did bother me that Edward sometimes referred to his parents with their first names instead of mom and dad. I wondered what feelings he still cherished towards them.  
>"It all stayed very innocent until I was in my last year of high school where I met James and Laurent. It was their first year in my school since they got expelled from their previous one. Stories were going around that they were kicked out because they'd destroyed the art class there. I quickly started to look at them as partners in crime. With their past they must know a lot of tricks to get your ass dragged to the principal's office, and of course that was what I lived for back then. So I befriended them." He stayed quiet for a while and then slowly looked back at me. He seemed like he was on the verge of crying, desperately trying to hold it together. "Bella, I want you to know that there is nothing I regret more than that decision. If I had a chance to go back to that moment, I would have done everything differently."<br>"I believe you," I whispered and carefully took his hand in mine to give it a little squeeze. I wanted him to know that I meant it and that right now, I was here for him. Of course I couldn't approve of his behaviour but I did understand why he acted like that. It's normal for a child to want their parents to be there for them, isn't it? He instantly looked at his hand that was in mine and suddenly I was afraid that he would pull away. But he didn't. Instead he tightened his grip on mine and offered me a little smile before continuing his story.

"Like I predicted, James and Laurent were the perfect team to help me get in trouble. Every time they succeeded in convincing me to push it a little further. I couldn't say no because I didn't want to lose them. They were the only friends I had. And we were forced to be more creative because my parents didn't even come for small incidents anymore. We did do some pretty cool stuff, like soaping up the hallway and stuff." I couldn't keep myself from giggling at the image of a soaped up hallway and everyone sliding their way to their next class.

"I never got suspended because my grades were still excellent. I might have been a rebel, but I wasn't gonna ruin my own future to get my parent's attention. By the end of the year, the staff at school started to threaten me by saying they'd inform the police. That's what stopped my rebellion, at least for a while. I really didn't want to have a criminal record as I was determined to study medicine." I could already picture him in a white coat and god did it look good. Dammit, Bella, focus. This is serious business.

"And that's exactly what I did. I went to college and I was a model student again. James and Laurent didn't apply anywhere, so I was back on my own. To be honest, I didn't mind at all. I realized that in the past six years I did whatever it took to gain my parent's attention, but it didn't make me happy anymore. I felt much better in college and I could already picture my future as a doctor. I realized that if I would be successful it would be the greatest way to mock them. I would be able to prove that I didn't need them."

"What went wrong, Edward?" Something must have happened to get him on the wrong tracks again. His parents couldn't have kicked him out because he was being a good student; that would be total madness. I could already sense that it had something to do with James and Laurent. God, the anger I felt towards them. I swear if I could ever get my hands on them...

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward suddenly asked me, his voice full of concern. I noticed I was squeezing his hand, really tight. I quickly released him and put both of my hands back on my lap.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. Please continue." He kept looking at me for a while before he answered my question.

"I ran into James and Laurent again in some stupid bar."

Didn't I predict it? Those two people were venom, pure venom and they've poisoned a lovely man.

"I thought you were past that whole rebellion?"

"I was. I really was. And that's exactly what I've told them. But they wouldn't buy it. They said 'Once a rebel, always a rebel'. I managed to get away from them then and told myself never to go to that bar again. I kept to that promise but they always seemed to find me in other places. Every time we ran into each other they came to me and asked if I was past my college phase and ready for the real world again. I don't remember how many times I've explained them that I didn't want to be a part of their little group anymore, but apparently they never listened. For more than a year they kept following me and it was infuriating me, so I stood up to them. I wanted this to be over and that's exactly the moment when it all went wrong." Breathe, Bella, breathe.

"I ordered them outside to talk and hope to solve everything once and for all. I didn't want any people around me when I was explaining myself. I guess they realized for the first time that I wasn't coming back and as you would suspect they didn't take it well. Before I knew it I was pushed up against the wall by James. I should have noticed then that they had put something in my pocket but I guess the fact that I was being threatened kept my mind of that. Everything happened so fast then. Suddenly two estate cars where there and all three of us were being handcuffed. I didn't know why but of course I started to defend myself and told them I was not with them. The police men didn't listen to whatever I was saying, they just started to search me and found ten bags of XTC pills. More than twenty times the amount that was allowed."

"They set you up?" I gasped.

"No, well, I don't know actually. They got caught too with a shit load of drugs, so I don't think they planned it. The police always told me it was someone anonymous that had declared them and as I was with them, and also seen with them a few times in the past, I was condemned as well. The three of us all had to spend a night in jail and the next day we had to appear in front of a judge. I wasn't surprised to see my parents in the courtroom but they scared me more than ever before. They were looking at me like I was the biggest criminal and for the first time I wished that I could go back to that moment where I was 17 and decided to form a group with James and Laurent. I wished that I'd realized back then that being a rebel wouldn't solve anything and that it wouldn't make my parents love me. But there was no turning back. I was in a courtroom, five minutes away from being sentenced for possession and dealing illegal substances. When they were reading James' and Laurent's verdict I knew I was fucked. They both got one year of jail time and a fine of 10.000 dollars. When the judge turned towards me I was already preparing myself for the worst. To my biggest surprise I only got the fine. No jail time. But it was enough to make me fall apart."

"But that's good, isn't it?" I asked. I didn't understand why he looked so defeated. Okay, the fine wasn't something to be proud of but at least he didn't have to go to prison.

"It's not, Bella. I had a criminal record now which meant that I could never graduate in medicine."

Oh.

"You have to understand, Bella, I would have rather spend a year in jail or whatever if I could clear my record that wat. It ruined everything. My entire future just vanished in that second."

He put his head in his hands and it wasn't hard to tell that he was crying. His shoulders heaved up and down as he was trying to catch his breath. I really wanted to put my arms around him but I'd never been the best comforter and to be honest, all I could feel right now was rage. I was so extremely mad at those two fuckers who ruined his life.

"Edward, you had nothing to do with that. That's just unfair!" I suddenly yelled. I had to let it out. I got up from the couch and started pacing around my living room in order to control my anger.

"Didn't they tell you? Life isn't fair." He looked up at me, his eyes red from crying.

"I can't believe you just accepted that sentence. You're innocent, Edward. You had nothing to do with those drugs." I shot at him.

"What did you want me to do about it, Bella? There was nothing I could do. All the evidence was against me. I got off pretty easily. My life is fucked up and I've accepted it as there is nothing else to it. It's just the way it is."

"You shouldn't accept that, Edward, you should fight it," I said while trying to wipe the tears that were streaming down my face.

"Don't you understand that in that moment I lost everything? There was no way back to it. I had nothing left to fight for. It was over."

He closed his eyes and I started pacing again. Wait, but this all didn't explain the reason he was living on the street. Or did it? Suddenly everything seemed clear to me.

"Did your parents throw you out because of all this?"

He nodded. "They said I was a disgrace to the family. I was ruining their reputation and therefore I was no longer their son. When we got home they explained that I had been lucky. Normally I would have to do jail time to, but Mark managed to talk to the judge and I bet he gave the dickhead an enormous amount of cash to keep me out of prison."

"Why did they pay you out if they didn't care?"

"I don't know. And I don't care either because I didn't consider myself free. I'd never felt more imprisoned before. Everything I had worked for the last five years was gone. And then, when I was already falling apart, they told me to get out. I had exactly twenty minutes to take whatever I belonged and to leave their house. They didn't even gave me time to explain everything but I didn't have the energy anymore to fight them so I just went upstairs, took my backpack, some hygienic stuff, a few clothes and my copy of Romeo and Juliet and left. I didn't even have time to say goodbye to Madelyn and Emmett. When I was walking out of the street I realized that I had officially lost everything now. All I had was that backpack and its content. I had no place to go, no money, except for a few dollars and no family. That's when the street became my home."

I noticed I was crying again but did nothing to hide it anymore and neither did he. In my mind I was going over the entire story again.

"You're the first person I'm telling this," he said and gave me a little smile, "In fact, you're one of the first people I've spoken to in a long time. People don't really like to converse with a homeless man."

"Edward, haven't you ever considered that maybe they already regret their decision," I said, completely ignoring his last statement. I had to ask him. I know that he hated them right now but he must have thought about this before, right?

"I think that it must have been a very impulsive decision of theirs. I know they've never really showed that they cared but maybe..." I mean, in the end every parent loves their child, don't they? Maybe his parents didn't know how to handle parenting and look at it, in the end they did keep him out of jail. If they wouldn't have cared they wouldn't have bothered to bribe the judge.

"They don't regret it, Bella." He looked so sad at me and again I could feel my heart break into a million pieces. I guess he must have lost all faith in his parents. Maybe he didn't even consider them his parents anymore, just as they didn't see him as their son.

"Christmas used to be a special day. It was one of the few days we would all be together and act like a normal family."

Oh, there was more?

"Madelyn and Emmett always enjoyed those days, while I, of course, did my best to infuriate them as much as possible. Madelyn called me on it so many times; saying I should stop it or I would push them away forever, but I wouldn't have ears for it. My sister and brother of course knew that at heart I was someone totally different then whoever I was displaying at that moment. Anyway, last year, on Christmas Eve I decided to go back, ask for a last chance. I thought that maybe they would want to forgive me as it would be the first Christmas where we wouldn't be complete. I mean, isn't Christmas about family and forgiveness?" I could already feel that I wasn't gonna like the end of this story. The look in his eyes said enough. Oh and maybe the fact that he was spending Christmas this year with me instead of with his family.

"I only remember ringing the gate bell for what seemed like forever and then waking up in front of it the next morning."

"They didn't even let you in?"

"No." Okay, now I was seriously pissed. They could at least have let him in and given him a chance to explain everything.  
>"It doesn't really matter anymore, Bella, I don't think I actually want to see them anymore. If they don't care about me, then I don't care about them. It's that simple."<br>"And Madelyn and Emmett? I really cannot believe that you can give up on them as well."  
>"I never said I gave up on them." Now he seemed angry, which scared me. "But I don't know what they think of me right now. I've never had a chance to talk to them after the incident. I didn't even see them before I left. Maybe they hate me as well..."<br>God, his mood swings were so annoying. He could be all mad and scary in one moment and five seconds later he would be all broken and sad again. I didn't know how to handle both of his moods and it made me feel like I shouldn't be the one hearing this story. Don't get me wrong, I was relieved that he trusted me with this, but I'm not the type of person to handle situations like this.  
>"Edward, I'm pretty sure they don't hate you."<br>"You don't know, Bella," he put his head back in his hands. "You don't know," he whispered again.  
>In an attempt to comfort him I put my hand on his back. It felt too awkward so I immediately put it back on my thigh. I can't believe that only one hour ago we were having a foam fight and played like little children and now we were back to being two adults trying to find their own way into this fucked-up world.<br>"I know I might have taken you off guard with this story, but I thought you deserved to know after all you've done for me." He suddenly said. He seemed to be okay again. Well at least as okay as he could be with all that he had been through.  
>I remained silent at his clarification as I was still processing everything he had said in the past hour. He had nothing left. Absolutely nothing. How on earth would he be able to get his life back on the rails without any help?<br>"Bella, if you want me to leave, I understand. Let me just get my bag." he said sadly. He got off of the couch and snapped me out of my thoughts.  
>"Sit down again, please," I said and shot him a hard look, "I'm not gonna throw you out as well, Edward. And definitely not on Christmas Eve."<br>He just gave me a genuine smile and sat back down.  
>My mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour.<br>"I don't want you to feel bad for me now," he said again after another moment of silence. Ever since he had finished his story we were having these long silences interrupted by one of us saying something only to fall back into another silence. It didn't feel awkward though, at least not to me but it seemed to make him feel uncomfortable. He kept shifting in his seat and tried to look me in the eyes. After another five minutes, he let out an agitated sigh, "Can you please tell me what you're thinking. You're killing me by being so quiet."  
>"I'm sorry. It's just a little much at once."<br>"Can't we just finish the movie?" he groaned, "I actually don't want to talk about it anymore."  
>I agreed because I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable anymore. Of course I couldn't focus on the movie anymore, but he didn't seem to notice. He was back to being his childish self and after a while I decided to lock the story in the back off my mind for the rest of the evening and enjoy whatever of time we had left together.<p>

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><p><em>Thank you so much, again :)<em>

_I'm sorry if this was a boring chapter but it's important for the rest of the story :) _

_Hope you'll all come back for chapter 6 :) _

_Love of love, Ellen_


	6. Bracelets and propositions

_A smaller chapter. I wanted to give it already as I didn't know when I'll be able to update again. (Don't worry, it won't take weeks, but maybe a few days this time.)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 6: Bracelets and propositions<strong>

I must have fallen asleep during the movie last night because I surely can't remember seeing the ending of it. Or putting a blanket over me... Oh, this was weird. Suddenly I remembered that I had a guest. How on earth could I forget about Edward? I blamed the fact that I had spent the night on the couch instead of my bed for my temporary loss of memory.

I turned around in order to try and feel my muscles again but forgot that a couch doesn't really allow you to move a lot. With a hard thud I fell on the floor.

"Fuck," I shrieked and started rubbing the back of my head. Good morning, Bella.

I wondered where Edward had gone to or where he had slept as a matter of fact. I noticed that his blanket was neatly folded up and placed on my side table. Weird.

"Edward?" I called and got up from the floor. Oh god, I was stiff. Remind me to never sleep on the couch ever again.

I didn't get an answer. I made my way to my bedroom considering that Edward maybe had slept over there as I had occupied the couch, but no. The bathroom door was open and again no sign of Edward. I felt panic taking control of me and I desperately tried to remember how to breathe. I rushed back to the living room and indeed noticed that his backpack was gone.

"No, no, no, no, no," I kept repeating to myself. He couldn't have left. Not like that. He at least owed me a thank you or whatever.

I curled up on the couch and tried to push away the tears. I would not cry over him, the stupid bastard. Okay, that might have been harsh, but anger made me feel stronger and if he didn't care enough about me to thank me I surely wasn't going to think about his feelings. Not that I was hurting him by thinking what a jerk he was but that didn't matter.

"Dammit, I didn't think you'd wake up before I was back. You looked so much asleep." My eyes shot at the door and there he was, the jerk. Well, a beautiful jerk, that's for sure. He clearly hadn't shaved yet and god, that stubble looked gorgeous on him.

"I thought you had left," I said my voice thick from the almost crying.

"You really thought that I'd leave you without a goodbye?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow. What? Was it that weird of me to think that? I don't think so! He could have left me a note like I did yesterday. Am I supposed to just know that he was gonna come back when he took everything with him? Men!

"I'm sorry, but I wanted to get you something," he said while taking place next to me on the couch and retrieving a little satchel out of his backpack, "Merry Christmas, Bella."

Oh right, it was Christmas. Almost forgotten. I hesitantly took the little pouch and shot him a weird glance. "What is this?" I asked.

"Your Christmas present. I saw it at a little store nearby a few days ago and it instantly reminded me of you. It's not much and it's really lame actually but I hope you can appreciate it. Now open it." He looked so enthusiastic about it so I took a quick look. Inside the satchel was a little bracelet made of strings.

"The sales lady told me that they're some kind of friendship bracelets and I could only buy them in pair." He rolled up the sleeve of his green sweater and showed me an almost identical bracelet. "Will you be my friend?" he asked in a childish voice and I couldn't stop myself from laughing at his innocence.

"How did you...? I mean..." I swear if he had stolen those things I would throw a fit. It might be extremely cute but I wasn't going to walk around with a stolen bracelet on my arm even if those things might have only been worth a dollar.

"Emergency money," he said, "I only used the money I've taken with me when I left home for real emergencies. Like when I hadn't found anything to eat in three days I would use it. I must say that I have been very lucky the past year; I only had to use it three times so I have about twenty dollars left."

"Edward, I can't accept it."

"Yes, you already have," he said with a huge grin.

"It's your money and you need all of it. I don't want you to spend it on me."

"It's my money so I can do whatever I want with it. And I want to give you something in return for everything you've done for me. I know it doesn't cover it, but I hope you can understand... If you don't like I can return it." Oh no, don't start being sad again.

"I love it, but..." "No buts," he interfered, again with a smile on his face.

"So, what does this friend thing mean?" I asked giggling while sticking out my arm so he could tie the two ends together.

"Euhm, nothing official, I think. Don't worry, I'm not expecting anything from you now, I just wanted to give you a little thank you gift and this was the first thing I thought about. It just happens to be friendships bracelets so euhm, yeah, I don't know."

I had to laugh at his struggling. Forget everything I said about him being a bastard because this man was so damn cute and sweet. I can't believe he actually spend some of the little money he has on me.

"Thank you, Edward, really. It's the sweetest gift ever."

"Yeah?" His eyes were sparkling and again I couldn't get over how adorable he looked. It looked good on him, especially together with his gorgeousness. Damn him.

"Yeah. I'm glad to be your friend."

"It'll be nice to know that I have a friend somewhere," he said and all of the sudden his mood was changed again.

He stood up and walked past me. "So, I guess I'll be going then," he said with a fake smile. It was easy to tell it was fake because it didn't touch his eyes like it did just one minute ago.

"Wait, what?" I got up and walked towards him.

"I've already taken too much advantage of you, Bella. It's time that I go back to where I belong."

"You don't have to leave because of that. I like having you around," I admitted.

"I know, but that doesn't take away the fact that I'm living off your money."

"I don't mind."

"But I do," he said.

"Edward, do you have any idea how cold it is outside now?" I had to convince him to stay. I had been thinking about this yesterday and I couldn't just let him leave again. He needed help if he wanted to try and start over again. And I didn't I just promise him that I was his friend?

"Yes, I do, I've just been outside," he said non understanding.

"No, not literally now, I mean in general, this winter. It's all over the news. I guess they said that it's the worst winter in thirty years." I explained.

"Bella, you don't have to worry about me, I'll be fine." Yeah, it's like I'm able to turn the worrying on and off with a switch.

"Are you happy out there?" I suddenly asked.

"What?"

"Do you like living on the streets?" I never thought about it, but maybe there was something about it that he liked. He didn't seem too defeated that he had to go back. I mean, he wasn't happy of course, but it's not like he was falling apart or anything.

"Euhm, no, well, I do like the freedom of course, but that's about it," he said. I could tell that he didn't understand my question. But that didn't matter now. I just needed to know a few more things before I could explain my plan.

"So if you had a chance to start a new life you'd do it?"

"Bella, where are you getting at?" he asked confused.

"Just answer the question, please."

"I guess so." And that's all I needed to hear.

"Perfect," I said, walked towards him and took the backpack off his shoulder.

"What is going on?"

"Sit," I ordered and pointed towards the couch. I placed his bag next to the door again and took my seat next to him.

"As your friend," I said and pointed toward the bracelet, "I see myself obliged to help you out."

"That's not what I meant with those..." he started but I interfered. "I know, but I have been thinking about this since yesterday so can you at least listen to my proposal? I'm not gonna force you into anything, I just want to give you another option, okay?"

"O-kaaay," he said, still not knowing where I was heading to.

"So, what if you stayed," I held up my finger as I saw he was going to protest again, "and tomorrow we go to some cloth shops, buy you some neat clothes and then we'll go find you a job. If you find something, which I'm pretty sure you will, you can move to an own apartment as soon as your first pay check arrives." I was so proud of myself. This was by far one of the best ideas I had had in my entire life.

"I can't ask that much from you, Bella, I just can't." This was definitely a polite declination.

"Edward, will you stop thinking about me for once and think about yourself. If I let you go now where will you end up, huh? This is your opportunity to start a normal life again. I'm not saying you'll have an easy life, but at least it will be better than being homeless."

I could see he was considering it and it made me hopeful.

"I'll accept it on one condition," he finally said.

"Shoot." Please Edward, don't come up with something unreasonable.

"You allow me to pay back every penny you've ever spend on me and half of your rent for the time I've stayed here."

"I'll allow you to pay back everything I'll spend on you starting from now, as I haven't really spent anything on you yet except for your sweater but that was a gift."

"And the lasagne yesterday?" he asked.

"You helped preparing it, so if you want to pay that back, I should pay you for your services as well."

"Okay then," he smirked.

"So, we have a deal?" I couldn't believe that he was accepting this so easily.

"We have a deal," he said, shaking my hand like this was something professional. I could easily tell that he was ecstatic about it and I couldn't be happier. Not only would he stay over for much longer, I also wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. Go, Bella!

"Did I already earn this friendship bracelet?" I asked to lighten the mood again.

"You earned it the minute you offered me that ride," he said with a grin.

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><p><em>Yeah, I know. If all men were like Edward the world would be so much more beautiful :'''')<em>

_As I don't know when I'll be able to update again, I have a proposition for you as well: Reviewers get a little teaser of the next chapter ;) So, you know what to do ;)_

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	7. Get your life back on the rails

_Stephenie Meyer owns these characters. :)_

_Yes, I said it would take longer this time, but I guess I prefer writing over studying :') Aren't you lucky?_

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><p><strong>Chapter 7: Get your life back on the rails<strong>

"Try this one," I said as I handed Edward another pair of jeans. I didn't like shopping when I was the one that had to try everything on, but shopping for Edward was so much fun, especially because the men section was completely new to me. For more than three hours I was making my way through every men clothes shop in town and Edward, well he was just following me like a duckling following his mom.

"Bella, I already have two pairs of trousers, two shirts, three T-shirts, two pairs of shoes, another sweater and tons of underwear, don't you think I have enough clothes by now?" He was struggling to carry all the bags and I couldn't hold my laughter when he dropped one of them and was desperately trying to pick it up again without dropping the other bags.

"This is the last one," I said while I moved him towards the fitting rooms.  
>"That's exactly what you said last time," he murmured while disappearing in one of the fitting rooms.<br>"I like it," he said when he finally came back out, "Can we go home now?"  
>"Turn around!" I ordered.<br>"You want me to walk down a catwalk as well?" he huffed but couldn't hide his grin.  
>"The hallway is yours," I laughed and stepped aside.<br>"No, thank you, I'll pass," he said and went back in to change again.  
>"Too bad, it would have been nice to see you parade through the fitting rooms." I was going to say 'parade that sexy ass' but stopped myself just in time. His confidence was already reaching tops after I complimented his chest-muscles in that previous shirt.<br>"Bella, I don't think we should take this one as well," he said when we were lining up at the pay desk.  
>"Yes we do. They look good on you," I protested.<br>"But we've already spent four hundred dollars on clothes. How am I supposed to be able to pay you back with my first pay check, pay the rent and actually survive?"  
>"You don't have to pay everything back with your first money," I said rolling my eyes. Did he really think I wanted every penny back in one month? Silly Edward.<br>"Oh. But can we please stop buying stuff now. My back is really starting to hurt from carrying all those bags."  
>"Well, give some to me then," I offered and reached out to take a few.<br>"No, I'm the man so I'm supposed to carry the bags."

"Okay, okay," I laughed and held up my hands in defence, "You can carry the bags. But don't start about your back if you don't want any help."  
>"I didn't say a thing," he said innocent and followed me out of the store.<br>"So what's up next on my 'Get-back-on-the-rails-with-your-life list'?" Edward casually said while dropping all of the shopping bags on the floor. I had to laugh when he started to stretch his back. Poor thing.  
>"I was thinking we could go find you a job, but then I started thinking that you might need a bank account first."<br>"Do I really need that? I hate banks," he pouted.  
>"Yes, you do. Now get changed first." Applying for jobs in completely worn out jeans probably wasn't going to do any good. While he was putting on his new clothes I started up my laptop.<br>"First of all, you'll need a resume. So sit down and type," I ordered when he came back out of the bathroom.  
>"Yes ma'am. I didn't know you could be this bossy until today."<br>"If I don't push you, nothing is gonna happen," I stated. And we both knew I was right. This morning he already tried to postpone the whole shopping trip.

About fifteen minutes later he pushed the paper in my hand and was already heading for the door. "Come on, Bella, we don't have the entire day, you know," he laughed.  
>Oh, that's the way you're going to play it now. I narrowed my eyes at him as I passed through the door.<p>

"Is there anything specific you'd like to do?" I asked while re-reading his CV.  
>"I don't think I'm in a position to be very picky."<br>"Edward, you've almost completed five years of medicines, you can be a little choosy."  
>"I'd rather do something totally different," I said and I could again see the sadness in his eyes. I guess I'd never understand how hard it was for him to see his future as a doctor being taken away.<p>

"I'll never find anything," he nagged after he came out of another interview.  
>"What was the problem this time?" I asked as I got up of the bench in front of the video store.<br>"I'm really sorry, sir, but you don't have any experience with sales so I'm afraid I can't hire you," he said in a high pitched voice, probably imitating the woman who took the interview.

It has been the same in every place he tried. They wanted someone with experience.

"Like it's that hard to sell a video game," he huffed and walked away.  
>"Edward, we're not giving up yet."<br>"Can we give up for today?" he begged, "I've had enough rejections for one day."  
>"Okay then," I finally gave in, "but tomorrow we're trying again."<br>"Of course," he said. I was happy to see that he was at least enthusiastic about finding a job. Luckily I would be able to join him in this quest again. I remember being hesitant when my boss offered me to take this week off as I had only just started this job, but right now, I couldn't be happier that I had accepted.

As we were walking home, we passed my favourite bookstore.

"Do you mind?" I asked Edward, pointing at the shop.  
>"What? Oh, no, not at all," he said and followed me through the door. It was a lovely old shop and there were books practically everywhere. It was my little piece of heaven.<p>

"Hey Suzy," I greeted the old woman behind the counter.  
>"Bellaaaaa," she said happily and got up from behind her desk, "How are you, darling?"<br>"I'm fine, how about you?" We always had the same conversation every time I entered. Not that I minded. She was one of the kindest women I've ever met and she was like a grand-mother to me.  
>"I'm good, dear, I'm good," she said with a huge smile, "Who's that handsome man there with you?"<br>"Oh, this is Edward, he, euhm, well, he kind of lives with me now for a while." Edward stepped forward and greeted her kindly.  
>"Oh, are you two romantic?" she suddenly asked and her eyes were all enthusiastic. Oh no, how the hell was I going to explain this? She belongs to the generation that believes that once you live together with someone, you're probably only five months away from getting married.<br>"No, we're just friends, Suzy," I said but of course still wished that I could say yes to that. Wait, what? Did I just think that? Bella, you're getting way too deep into this.  
>She have us both a suspicious look and I couldn't help but look at Edward, who apparently was as confused as I was. She didn't believe it, of course she didn't. That much was certain. Oh well, she can believe whatever she wants, I guess.<p>

"Too bad," she finally said, "You two would make a lovely couple." Heart flutter.  
>"Are there any new ones?" I immediately asked, hoping to change the subject to books again.<br>"Not so much, dear, only a few. I don't think any of them will be something you'd like to read. Anyway, you know where to find them," she smiled and I headed towards the section in the back where all the newly arrived stuff was displayed.  
>"She seems nice," Edward suddenly said while I was browsing through the volumes.<br>"She is, she really is, but I think she can be one hell of a woman as well," I said with a grin and took out one of the books to read the back.

I quickly noticed that Suzy was right. None of these books held my interest. I quickly headed back to find Edward in the section of the classics and he really looked like he had found his heaven in this shop as well. I waited at the end of the aisle for a while to watch him browsing through the books and I could easily find similarities with myself in the way he checked them.

"I have a lot of those at home," I stated, "So if you want to read them..."  
>"Really? That'd be amazing. I kind of want to own every book in this section."<p>

"I bet you do," I laughed while making my way back to the counter to have another small chat with my surrogate grandmother. Yes, she was like a grandmother to me. If I needed advice I always visited her.

"Found anything you liked, dear?" Suzy asked.

"No, you were right but I think Edward is about to steal all of your classics," I laughed.

"He likes classics as well?" she beamed, "Bella, he's your perfect match." Watch out for Suzy the matchmaker: she's about 5 feet 3 inches tall, 89 years old, has gray hair, can be very nosy and will most likely do everything to set you up with whoever she thinks is right for you whether you and the other person involved like it or not.

"And he looks good as well," she said with a wink and leaned over her desk to take another look at Edward.

"Yeah, you should totally go for it. Who knows, maybe he likes older woman," I joked.

"No, Bella, he's definitely into younger woman. I know so," she said determined like we were actually having a serious conversation.

"Oh of course, I forgot you had a crystal ball," I joked.

"Oh come on, Bella, admit it, you think he's handsome."

"He is, he really is." Handsome is an understatement, my dearest Suzy.

"I knew it! You like him," she said with a huge grin.

"What? I didn't say that!" Don't start blushing, Bella, don't you dare to start blushing.

"No, not with words, but your intonation and reaction now say enough. Oh and you're desperately trying not to blush and failing completely."

Yeah well, start waving that victory flag already. Bella is busted. And so what if I like him; was that such a big deal? No! God, I liked Suzy but sometimes I hated her Bella sixth sense.

I decided not to get deeper into it, as there was nothing to say. We were friends and I was helping him to start over again. End of story.

"Isn't Jess here today?" I asked again, trying to change the subject. I really didn't want Edward to appear next to me while we were having a conversation like this. Anyway, no more Edward talks. We were talking about Jessica. Suzy might be a feisty woman; she still was too old to run this store by her own, so a few years ago she hired Jessica to help around.

"No, she's not. Didn't I already tell you? She's getting married in two weeks." I saw a certain sadness in Suzy her eyes which was strange. Mention wedding to his woman and she gets all enthusiastic and happy.

"Isn't that a good thing? Or wait, you don't approve of the guy?" That had to be it. I couldn't think of another reason why Suzy wouldn't be ecstatic about a wedding.

"No, no, Mike is really good kid but his parents live in Louisiana and it has always been his dream to start a family there as well, so they've bought a house over there. She's leaving after the wedding." Oh, that explains a lot. With Jessica gone, Suzy would probably have to give up her store. Dammit Jessica, you're taking away my little piece of heaven.

Oh, but wait a second.

"So that means she's quitting her job here as well?" I asked, just so I would be certain.

"Yes, it's a little too far to commute, don't you think?" she laughed but I could easily tell it was a forced laugh, "I don't know how I'll be able to run this store without her. I'm not one of the youngest women anymore; I can't carry all of those boxes. And it's not easy to find a good assistant these days, or at least, someone who would want to work with a crippled, old lady like me."

"What are you looking for in your next assistant?" I asked all professional, "Do they need to have any experience?"

"No, dear, just a general interest in books, that's all. It's not hard to sell a book, but you have to be able to give the customers advice," she said. "Why are you asking? Are you interested? I thought you loved your job at the Black company?"

"Oh, I do love it," I said with a smile, "It's not for me." Oh my god, Edward would love this job. I could already picture him behind the counter passionately talking about a book he was about to sell. It was perfect.

"Do you have a minute?" I said and made my way back to the classics, where Edward was still having the time of his life.

"Just one more minute," he said while leafing through 'Anna Karenina'. I couldn't help but smile.

"Edward, what would you think about working here?" At first, I was going to tell him less direct but I couldn't wait to see his reaction so I just asked.

"What?" he asked confused, looking up from his book.

"Working. Here. With Suzy," I stressed with a giggle.

"Yeah yeah, I heard you, but what?"

"Jessica, her assistant, is moving to Louisiana so her job is available now."

"Seriously?"

"No, I was joking. Of course I am serious, Edward." His eyes seemed to lighten up in a way I'd never seen before. "Really? Oh my god, I'd love to work here." I knew it.

"Suzy," I yelled as I walked back to her leaving Edward in his aisle, "I think I've found you a new assistant."

"You have?" she asked hopefully.

"You really need a new assistant?" Edward asked enthusiastic as he came to stand next to me.

"Yes, young man, are you interested?"she said.

"Very much so."

"Really? But why would a young handsome man like you want to work in a dusty bookshop with an old lady like me?"

"You're not that old," he laughed. And that was all it took for Edward to get the job. Suzy told us that she would take care of all the paperwork once Jessica was gone and that she expected Edward back here in two weeks.

As we went out Edward was looking like he was about to explode of happiness. Guess things weren't always supposed to go wrong in his life. Maybe this could be a start of a lucky life for him and there was nothing I wished more.

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><p><em>A special thanks to MidnightSunSC17 for willing to read and correct my work. I really appreciate it. Thank you bb :)<em>

_And again: Reviewers will be rewarded with a little teaser :)_

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	8. Falling and not falling

_God dammit, every time I'm uploading I have this problem that everything is posted bold. I don't know how to solve it so I just end up deleting the chapter and uploading it over again... That's why you keep getting two alerts (if you have an alert...) I'm really really sorry for that...  
><em>

_I'm sorry it took a bit longer this time. I have to study as I didn't want to fail sociology (which I probably did, lol)_

_Anyway, enjoy it :D_

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><p><strong>Chapter 8: Falling and not falling.<strong>

With a content sigh, I let myself fall on the couch with a pot of ice cream and took a spoon full of the delicious creamy chocolate ice. Heaven. I would forever love the person who invented chocolate ice cream because they knew exactly what women want.

"Don't I get a spoon?" Edward asked, looking up from his book and pointing towards my new best friend at the moment. Don't look at me like I'm a weirdo. Ice cream can be your friend and it's never going to let you down.

"Hmm, I don't know if I want to share," I said giggling while taking another spoonful.

"Oh come on, Bella," he said blinking his eyes and looking at me with puppy eyes. Oh no, I was enjoying this way too much to give in already. I waved the ice cream in front of him and then quickly put it in my mouth.

"Bellaaaa," he whined and I couldn't hold my laughter.

"How far do you want to go for this?" I challenged him.

"You know what, I don't even want it anymore," he said, "But I have another idea."

O-oh.

He quickly got up, walked towards the coat rack and took both of our jackets. "Edward, what is going on in that mind or yours?" I said, not moving from my place.

"Nothing special," he said but his eyes were betraying him, "Now will you get up please?"

"Where are we going?"

"No more questions. Just come with me and you'll see."

I hesitantly took my jacket out of his hands and followed him outside. He had an enormous grin on his face and I didn't trust it.

It was already dark outside and there was a clear sky. I wondered if you could see the stars but I was too busy focussing on where to put my feet to look up and check myself.

"If you don't walk a little faster I'll see myself obliged to carry you," he suddenly said, probably annoyed by my slowness.

"Then I see no other way then you'll have to carry me anyway," I huffed, "If I go any faster I'm pretty sure I'll fall and break my leg." With my luck I might even fall at this speed. The pavement was so slippery it wasn't even funny anymore. But of course I was the only one having troubles with my balance. Edward was walking in front of me at normal speed and had to stop every five minutes because I was hardly moving.

"Edward, can you please tell me where we're going," I whined as I had enough of this midnight walk.

"Only two more minutes and you'll be able to see yourself," he said, "But I already doubt if this was a good idea. You can't even walk normal on a slightly icy pavement." Oh no, Edward, what are you going to put me through.

And then I saw where we were heading to.

"Oh no, Edward, we are not, and I repeat not, doing that. No way", I exclaimed when I saw the ice rink in from of me. No fucking way.

"Come on, Bella, it'll be fun."

"No, it won't. I'll fall. A lot. And probably break all my legs and arms and not to mention all of the other bones in my body. There is no way I'm getting on that skating rink." I crossed my arms to look more forceful.

"Please, Bella. I promise I won't let you fall." No, don't start begging Edward. It won't work this time.

"Bella, I really want to do this," he whined when I didn't make any moves towards the rink anymore.

"If you really want to go ice skating, you can, but I'll be waiting outside the rink."

"But it's no fun alone," he pouted. No, I am not giving in. I know it wasn't very kind of me but I really didn't want to spend my evening in the hospital.

With a last shake of my head I started walking back home.

"Bella, come on," Edward begged again and tried to pull me back by my arm. "You can at least try."

Oh I'm going to regret this. "Did you already dial the number of the ambulance because you're gonna need it," I finally said because I knew he wouldn't stop begging. Without looking at him again I walked towards the ticket booth. Edward quickly passed me and I couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. I really should check his birth certificate. There was no way that he was older than me.

"You're not gonna regret this," he said while putting on his skates. "I have a feeling I will," I complained as I got up. The minute I was on my feet I was already wobbling. Yes, I did already regret this.

"No, Bella, you've already agreed to this," Edward said when he noticed my hesitation.

"I know, I know."

Before I knew it Edward was already on the ice. Oh great, how the hell am I going to get on there now. I was already contemplating to make my way back outside again when Edward reappeared at the entrance of the rink.

"Come on," he said and reached out to take my hand, "You need to get on the ice to start skating." Oh, aren't you funny.

When I put my first foot on the ice I was already heading toward the floor. If it wasn't for Edward who quickly grabbed my arm I would have already been on my way towards the hospital.

"You weren't kidding about keeping the number of the ambulance within reach," he laughed as he led me toward the framing of the rink.

"Nowp," I said as I took a firm hold on the railing, "So, can we go back home now?"

"Definitely not. I'm going to teach you how to do this." Oh great. This was going to be fun. Get all ready for the 'Bella is going to fall shitload times on her ass-show'. I took a quick glance towards the rink and noticed there were only fifteen people left. Well, those people were going to have a really nice humour show.

"Okay, you're gonna let go of the railing and give me one hand," he ordered. What? Let go? No way. "Don't be such a scaredy-cat. I already promised you that I won't let you fall."

Okay. Come on, Bella, you can do this. How hard can it be? I mean, look at that five year old over there; he doesn't need his mother's hand. If he can do it, so can I. So, on the count of three...

I counted down and slowly let go of the railing with one hand. I immediately felt Edward's hand wrapped around it. Okay, that wasn't that bad. I was still standing and my hand was enveloped by Edward's. I liked ice skating so far. If we could just stay this way for the rest of the evening I was going to make ice skating one of my hobbies.

"Now the other one," he said, snapping me out of my thoughts, while trying to pull me towards the middle of the rink.

"Wait wait, not so fast," I shrieked, still clamping on the railing. I closed my eyes and quickly released my other hand. It was as if I was waiting to fall down but I didn't. Eureka.

"There you go," Edward praised. Oh my god. I, Bella Swan, was standing on ice skates and not falling down. This was a first.

"Now carefully slide your left foot forward and slowly throw your balance on that foot as well. Then you do the same with your right foot." I did as he said and already felt my equilibrium fail. The moment I started wobbling on my skates I felt Edward's arm snap around my back. "Careful," he said and tried to guide me over the ice.

After about ten minutes of trying to slide and falling I found myself ready to give up again.

"Edward, I'll never be able to do this," I whined.

"Don't give up just yet. You're doing great."

"Only because you're almost dragging me over the ice," I sighed. Not that I was complaining, of course. And that was the only reason I didn't start asking about quitting again.

A half an hour later I was already able to go forward while just holding his hand. I couldn't be more proud of myself.

"So, about that pro career of yours..." Edward joked as we were taking a breath. Well, I was taking a breath; he didn't even have a little work-out. Show-off.

By this time there was only one couple left on the skating ring and it made me feel very aware of the position Edward and I were in. I tried to picture what we would look like to outsiders, including the way the held me the entire evening, and realized that it most definitely didn't look like we were friends.

"I hate it that you can't see as many stars here as you can in Port Angeles," Edward suddenly said, looking up at the sky. I immediately looked up to check and almost lost my balance. I had to clamp the railing to stay straight and of course Edward couldn't hold his laughter.

He slid down, sat down on the ice and padded the place next to him. Oh no, I was not going to try and sit down. It would probably look very elegant and sexy. I bet I would end up on my face and half on top of him. Only that last bit didn't sound so bad.

"Your ass isn't going to freeze off," he laughed as he tugged my coat.

"I'm not worried about my ass," I said lightly smacking the back of this head, "It's my face I'm worried about."

"You sit on your face?" Now he was doubled over.

"No, you dump ass, but I don't see myself sitting down in a way that doesn't involve me falling on my face."

"If you let yourself slide down you can only fall on your ass," he laughed.

"Well, I'm not very looking forward to that either, so thank you."

"Come on, Bella, if you sit down you can take a look at the stars. You don't see them a lot over here, so I wouldn't hesitate."

I carefully tried to get down and to my biggest surprise I managed to take place next to him without injuring myself or worse, injuring him.

"Isn't that better?" he laughed. I decided not to answer because he was already being smug because I listened to him, once again. Why was he always capable of changing my mind? Damn him.

Well, I went through all the effort to get down, so I might as well take a look at those damn stars now, right? A little smile crept across my face as I remembered how Charlie and I used to look at the stars when I was little and I instantly felt homesick again.

"What are you thinking of?" Edward asked after a long silence.

"My dad," I admitted silently.

"Do you miss him?"

"Yes. But mostly I'm worried that he won't be doing okay all by himself." He couldn't even cook a decent meal nor do laundry without putting a red sock with his white clothes leaving everything pink as the washing machine had finished his job.

"He's a grown man, he'll be just fine," Edward tries to reassure me.

"You don't know my father," I laughed, "but you're probably right."

"Aren't I always?" Welcome back, smug Edward.

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

"Sir, miss, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the rink. We're closing up." I was surprised to find the owner standing next to us. He literally seemed to have come out of nowhere.

"Oh, sure, no problem," Edward said and was already back on his feet.

O-oh. Getting down was fairly easy but how the hell am I going to get back up. I contemplated just sliding all the way to the exit on my ass but then Edward stuck out his hands to help me up. I happily accepted and pulled myself up. But I forgot that I was on ice for just a tiny little second. I couldn't control my feet anymore as they seemed to be sliding in every possible direction as I was trying not to fall. Dammit, I was not allowed to fall. I had managed to stay straight for the entire evening and I didn't want to blow it in the end.

Luckily Edward was there again to save me from a close meeting with the icy floor.

"This is the last time we've ever done this," I mumbled to his chest. God, it felt good to be all wrapped up in his arms. And god, did he smell good.

Okay, Bella, stop it. Take your distance again. I did as I ordered myself and immediately missed the warmth of his body. Fuck me, I was screwed. I was getting involved with him to quickly and to deeply. I was going to pay for this sooner or later and I couldn't stand the thought of being hurt. Why did he have to be so sweet and so good looking and so living at my apartment? Yes, I was definitely screwed.

The entire walk back home we were both quiet and I had a feeling it had everything to do with our last moments on the ice rink. Did Edward know what was going on in my mind? Was he taking distance from me? And why the hell did that bother me? I should have been happy that he was leaving some space between us. I needed this to get him out of my head and to not get more involved than I already was. Or maybe I didn't want him to stop this? Maybe I wanted to see what it would be like to get closer to him? Dammit, this is so much more than just a crush. God, Bella, what have you gotten yourself into? You don't even know how Edward feels about this. He probably just wants to keep everything the way it is now because I did have to admit that we're really good at being friends.

Suddenly I felt a jacket being placed over my shoulders. I looked up and found Edward looking at me with a concerned face. "You're shivering badly, Bella." Oh, I was. I hadn't even noticed yet. Guess I was a little lost in my mind.

"What about you? Aren't you cold now?" I said, pointing at his sweater.

"I'm used to this kind of cold. It's not that bad." Oh right. Mister vagabond, how could I forget...

"Thanks," I quickly replied and wrapped the jacket a little closer around me. God, I loved the smell of it. All him. Remember me to fake being cold more often.

"You're welcome," he laughed, "Do I get my ice cream now when we get home?" It was 11PM and he was still thinking about his stomach? How the hell did he survive on the streets with so little food?

"Of course," I said, "I guess I owe you that much for teaching me how to skate."

"Yes," he nodded fervently, "yes you do."

Back inside I instantly headed toward the deep freezer and handed him the pot of ice cream and a spoon. "Eat as much as you like and just put it back in the freezer when you're done."

"You're not gonna have some with me?" he asked, clearly disappointed.

"No, I'm too tired. I'm going to go to sleep," I said and it was true, "and I'm already cold enough and as I recall, ice cream doesn't help to warm up again."

"You can drink some hot chocolate milk," he suggested. Seems like he really didn't want me to go to bed already. Well, I had to admit that it wasn't very pleasant to eat ice cream all by yourself.

"Did your mommy never teach you that you shouldn't drink hot chocolate before going to bed? It gives you nightmares," I joked and of course instantly regretted it. Good job, Bella. Really, good job! I could smack myself in the head. Only two days ago he had been so broken about the fact that his parents never had time for him and now I was kind of rubbing it in his face. "Edward, I'm sorry," I quickly added when I saw the change of emotion in his eyes. The playfulness was gone again.

"It's okay, I know you didn't mean it that way," he said and managed to give me a smile, "I guess ice cream helps for that kind of shit, right?"

"Yes, it does," I laughed and even though I was tired I went to sit next to him.

"You don't have to stay up for me," he said, but it wasn't hard to notice that he was really happy that I was joining him, "you can go to sleep if you want to. I'll be just fine with my pot of ice cream."

"No, I don't mind," I admitted, "I kind of want to stay up with you."

"Good, 'cause I want you to stay as well," he said as he took a big spoon of ice cream. Oh Edward, you shouldn't have said that.

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><p><em>Thank you, everyone :D<em>

_Yes yes, there is something in the air... _

_Again, reviewers get a sneak-peak at the next chapter :) (and I'm really looking forward to the next one... I won't be sure when I'll be able to post it... Hard exam coming up -.-)_

_Anyway, see you again at the next chapter (hopefully!)_

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	9. Major heart flutter

_All I have to say today is: enjoy it :)_

_And of course I don't own these characters, I only own the storyline. _

**Chapter 9: Mayor heart flutter**

As the days passed I found myself desperately trying to take distance from Edward and whatever it was that I was already feeling but I also found myself failing, terribly. I couldn't stay away from him no matter how hard I tried. Yeah, I know, it is hard to avoid someone when you live in the same apartment, but that was not the only reason that I wasn't succeeding this 'don't get more involved than you already are'-mission.

I just didn't _want_ to step away from him. I felt so comfortable around him and I'd never felt that way with any other man before. Usually I was already really nervous and too aware of myself around the opposite sex to make a good impression. Mostly because when I met someone I was always trying to look as good as possible, as less awkward as possible and I always failed to be myself because I wanted to impress them. I never had that feeling with Edward. From the very first moment I had been able to myself because I never looked at him as a potential boyfriend. Yeah, it does help when he looked the way he did that first day, with his beard and shabby clothes. If I would have met him looking the way he does now, I would have probably scared him away like I did with all other men.

I groaned at the headache I was breeding because of my midnight thinking.

"Did you have another bad night?" Edward asked a little concerned as he came out of the bathroom. Yes, another one. I had been that way for the past four mornings. Ever since our little accident on the ice rink I was constantly reflecting on whatever it was that I was feeling and I realized that I was lying when I tried to convince myself that it was nothing or just a crush. I was most definitely passed that stage.

"Yeah, guess it's the cold," I lied.

"You should take another blanket then and your problem will be solved," he said and took a bite of his toast. If it was only that simple.

"So, grocery shopping today?"

"Yup," I said as I cleared the table. Tomorrow evening Alice and Jasper would come over for New Year's Eve. On normal occasions that would never make me nervous, but now, it did. And that had everything to do with the fact that Edward would be here as well.

He, of course, already said that he didn't want to be an intruder and would leave us alone but I couldn't let him spend New Year's Eve on the street. What kind of friend would that make me? So I insisted that he stayed although I scared me to think of what would happen if he and Alice met. It wasn't a secret that she didn't like him, well, at least the fact that he was homeless, and would probably freak out if she knew that he was _the_ Edward. I just hoped she wouldn't throw a fit in front of him and at least gave him a chance.

"Are you coming?" he yelled as he was already standing the entrance of the door.

"Just a second, I'm looking for my purse but I seems like it has disappeared." And then I saw him waving it in front of me. No wonder I couldn't find it.

"I would almost think that you're in a hurry," I laughed as we walked outside. He was almost running.

"I just want to finish my book before tonight," he admitted. That's what you get when you give someone like him access to your home library. At this moment he was reading 'Gone with the wind' and he couldn't stop talking about the Civil war. I found it rather amusing but I was also happy that as much as it seemed to consume most of this time now, he still made time to do stuff with me. The past three days we had been to the cinema, played some board games and did a marathon on Friends-episodes. That last one resulted in a huge discussion on which season was the best. I won, but I guess he kind of let me win as he also realized that we would never stop throwing arguments at each other if he didn't.

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><p>"Can you get the cheese? " I asked looking at my little shopping list as I made my way toward the vegetables, "If you do, we can go home sooner." That was all it took for Edward to run off towards the cheese section.<p>

I was contemplating on which tomatoes I would use for my tomato sauce when all of the sudden I felt two arm encircle my waist. I stiffened and whipped my head towards Edward. Yes, I didn't need to see his face to know it was him. My heart had already betrayed him.

"What are you doing?" I asked confused.

"Just play along..." Play along with what?

He leaned down and pressed his lips to my shoulder. My eyes fluttered shut and I whimpered. Whimpered? What the hell? Yeah, try to convince yourself that he is absolutely nothing to you again. I had no idea what was happening but I definitely wasn't complaining.

"There is a guy standing on the other side of the aisle and I don't like the way he's looking at you," Edward explained as he brushed his fingers over my arms. Goosebumps alert!

"Oh," I managed to say with a shaky breath. I spied the store for the creep and quickly found him, looking at us. If looks could kill Edward would be dead by now. Multiple times.

I couldn't move as Edward's hands rested on my hips. Breathe, Bella, breathe or you'll give yourself away. Oh god, Edward must certainly feel what he was doing to me right now. My heart was racing at top speed and my knees were wobbling. Definitely more than a crush.

I know he had asked me to play along with his little game but my mind was still trying to understand what was going on and the fact that he was touching me this particular way didn't help to get everything straight and to order my limbs to move again.

"He won't believe this act if you don't play along," Edward whispered in my ear. Yeah yeah, easier said than done, mister!

Luckily there was no need for me to take action anymore as the man had already disappeared into the next aisle.

"Why the hell was that necessary?" I asked still trying to wrap my head around what had just happened but desperately trying not to let it show to Edward.

"I just didn't like the way he was ogling you. He looked at you like you were something to eat," he said almost in disgust.

"Are you jealous?" I smirked. That certainly could have been an act of jealousness, right? Yeah, keep believing that, Bella!

But then again, he really didn't mind holding me close. If he didn't like the man he could have just gone to him and told him to back off. God, Bella, stop rethinking this. He was just trying to save you from a creep and you're already considering he might feel the same way. Stupid brain. Stupid me.

"No, I just wanted to let the guy know that you were out of his league," he replied while shrugging his shoulders. Like I thought, this was just a little game for him and he didn't realize he was playing with my feelings as well. But there was no way I was telling him that. I'd rather be humiliated in front of this entire store then to face being rejected by him. Oh god, I can't even think of how it would be to live with him after that. So, that was a definite no. I'd just have to live through this month and when he would move out I would be able to try and forget about him. With a little sigh I made my way to the cash register.

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><p>"Okay, this one is my favourite so far," Edward exclaimed as he closed his book and placed it on the side table. He had been reading non-stop since we had returned from the store and it was amusing to see him getting caught up in this amazing love story. Stupid perfect man.<p>

"You've said that of every book you've read so far," I laughed looking up from my copy of Wuthering heights. I had been trying to focus on the words but whatever happened this afternoon required every tiny bit of my mind so I had ended up reading the same sentence five times. I kept playing the supermarket scene over and over again in my head and had to conclude that I was not even falling in love anymore. I had fallen in love already.  
>"Yeah, that only because they keep getting better," he said, sounding amused. Good point.<br>"So, what are we gonna do to celebrate the second last day of the year?"  
>"I don't know." I said, closing my book, "Any ideas?"<br>"Revenge at monopoly?" he smirked. I wasn't going to outlive the fact that I lost that game yesterday but I really liked playing with him so I didn't mind losing. "You're on!" I challenged, "But will you be able to handle it if I beat you this time?"  
>"Oh, you actually plan on winning this time?" I just shot him an evil grin. To be honest I was quite sure that I was going to lose again. I just didn't have enough economical knowledge or whatever it was you needed to play that game to make a good move. Every time I bought something Edward started to laugh and told me I had just done a bad purchase. Oh well, it was just a game.<br>"Get the game and I'll get us something to drink," I said as I made my way to the kitchen.  
>"Edward, do you want a glass of wine?" I asked. I still had one bottle I had wanted to open in ages like but I wasn't the type of girl to finish a bottle all on my own. Tonight would be the perfect occasion to drink it.<br>"Red?" he asked turning his head towards me. "Yes." "Awesome." "I guess that's a yes?" I returned to the living room with the bottle and two glasses without waiting for his answer. He had already displayed the board and was preparing everything to get started.  
>"Ladies first?" he said when he was finished and handed me the dice. "Ready to lose?" I might as well try to intimidate him, right? "May the best player win," he replied with a wink.<br>As the game went on - and the bottle of wine got emptier - I finally ended up doing some good moves. He actually complimented one of my purchases and I felt like a little child that had just heard from its mom that its drawing would be stuck to the fridge. I instantly got up and walked towards my stereo. I quickly leafed through my poor CD collection and retrieved one I got from Alice a few years ago. It contained all of my favourite songs so I don't have to tell you that it is my favourite CD as well, don't I?. I put it in and hit play on the third song. 'I feel good' was blasting through my apartment and I was dancing around like a mad woman singing along with the lyrics. Yes, wine wasn't good for me. I wasn't drunk, not at all, but I might have been a little tipsy.  
>Edward couldn't control his laughter at my weird behaviour and ended up rolling on the floor laughing so hard that I could see tears forming in his eyes.<br>"Your parents must have dropped you really often when you were little," he said while trying to catch his breath. "A lot of times," I giggled.  
>"Now will you come back? It's your turn," he said when the song came to an end. "Yes sir!" I said saluting him as I sat back on the floor. I decided to let the CD play as it was actually nice to have some background noise.<br>I quickly found out that I might have been a little too positive before. I ended up losing more and more money and had to sell a few of my houses. Edward couldn't stop smirking at me throughout the entire process of me trying to calculate how many houses I had to sell to pay for ending up on his property that had four houses. Show-off.  
>Right after I had finally found the perfect way to pay my debts, the first notes of 'Claire de lune' started to play out of my speakers and I instantly started smiling again. The song never failed to make me remember the day Edward and I met.<br>"Dance with me," he suddenly said, completely surprising me but already pulling me up from the floor. "Edward, I can't dance," I giggled. "Bullshit, everyone can dance," he said, dragging me to the little open space that was available in my living room. "Then you haven't met Bella Swan yet." "Oh, then who are you?" he smirked, pointing at me.  
>"This is not even a song you can dance to." Except for a really slow dance...<br>"A true dancer can dance to everything." "Oh, then I have to inform you that I'm most definitely not a true dancer. I'm serious about not being able to dance. I'll step on your feet. A lot," I warned him. "I can handle that." Well, I did inform him about my clumsiness, so now it would be his own fault if he ended up breaking his toes.  
>After a while he pulled me even closer and since I had the alcohol of a few glasses of wine running through my veins I became much braver so I tightened my grip around his neck.<br>"You're not that bad," he said while smiling at me. "That's only because we're hardly moving," I explained with a little laugh.  
>"You want to dance to something faster?" He raised an eyebrow at me as if he really wondered if I wanted to risk my life by moving faster. "No, I'm fine with this," I admitted, taking up our slow dance again. More than fine.<br>"You're really beautiful, you know that?" he murmured against my hair when the song was coming to an end. Mayor. Heart. Flutter. I must have misheard him. There was no other way to it. Or maybe it was the wine speaking. I guess that'd be it. It had to be the wine.  
>"Don't do that," he said softly as he looked back at me and pulled my lip from between my teeth with his thumb. Yes, I had the annoying habit of biting my lip when I was really aware of myself. His gentle touch made me shiver inside and I couldn't stop thinking about how it would feel to have his lips touching mine instead of his thumb. He was looking at them as well and I couldn't help hoping that he was thinking the same.<br>His finger were still lingering at my face and god, it was driving me insane. He was lightly brushing my cheek and at that moment I would have given everything to know what was going on inside his mind.  
>After what seemed like an eternity, I heard him swallow and he closed his eyes, a little too long to be blinking. As he inched closer I could feel my heartbeat starting to speed up. Was he going to kiss me? God, he was. Before I had the time to freak out about what was happening, he softly brushed his lips against mine. Just a small touch but it was enough to erupt a fire deep inside of me. I quickly pulled him closer again and pressed my lips back to his. I could feel him smile and I couldn't help but smiling too. His lips moulded into mine and in that moment an earthquake could have occurred and I wouldn't even have noticed. I had been dreaming about this moment for so long but never I had expected it to feel this way. This perfect.<br>When he pulled back I instantly missed the contact. I looked up at him only to find him with a smile on his face that was even more breathtaking than usual. I guess my smile must have equalled the size of his. I didn't even care if it was real or if it was the wine but I couldn't let this moment pass without fully living it.  
>He tightened his grip around me again and with a more than content sigh I let my head rest on his shoulder. It felt so right to be wrapped up in his arms and I found myself desperately trying to get closer even when it seemed impossible. My heart was going insane when he softly pressed his lips against my temple. Perfect man. And right this moment, he was my perfect man.<p>

_Finally! But what if they wake up the next morning… _

_Another special thanks to MidnightSunSC17 for willing to beta my scribblings and of course thank you to all of you for reading as well :) You're amazing! _

_Anyway, next chapter will be in EPOV! Something to look forward to, I guess :)_

_Leave me your thoughts a review...and IIIIIIIIIII eeee IIIIIII will always love youuuuuuuuuu_

_And again, reviewers get a sneak peek_

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	10. Regrets?

_I swear this site hates me. I'm always having troubles uploading my chapters… It's not even funny anymore… But don't worry, I don't go down without a fight ;)_

_So, let's take a look at Edward's mind, okay? :')_

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><p><strong>Chapter 10: Regrets?<strong>

EPOV:

I woke up that morning with the most blessed feeling ever. I couldn't help but smile as I registered my new favourite smell in the world. Strawberry and cinnamon. The scent of Bella.  
>My Bella. At least, I thought she was. I kept my eyes closed and let my mind take in everything that had happened recently. The past month my entire life had been turned upside down and I couldn't be happier about the outcome.<br>From the very first moment I saw her I was intrigued by her simple beauty. She wasn't some kind of fake Barbie, she was all natural and just breathtaking. I'll even admit that her big brown eyes were the reason I actually accepted her ride that evening. I had never done that kind of stuff before as I had never really hated walking, not even in the rain. I could really enjoy the smell of a downpour; it used to be my favourite scent in the world, until now.  
>I surprised myself by instantly liking Bella because I was usually hesitant with strangers but she made me feel so comfortable, she didn't feel like someone I had just met. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that we actually had a lot of common interests.<br>The entire drive to Seattle I had been asking her all kind of questions, trying to get to know her and desperately trying to avoid the subject of my life. My past wasn't that clean and I didn't want to spoil our light mood with heavy shit.  
>When I had to say goodbye to her on the sidewalk I kind of thought it would be the last time I would see her. So with one last look I turned the corner of her street that day.<br>I wasn't actually planning on staying in Seattle for a long time because I wasn't the type of guy to linger on one place too long but as time went by I found myself not wanting to leave and I couldn't wrap my head on the reason of that sudden change. It was not like Seattle was the most amazing place in the world for a homeless man.  
>It was only when I passed her street by accident again one evening when I realized that she might be the reason. I had secretly been hoping to bump into her again, just once, but it never happened. I know I could have just ringed her doorbell but maybe she had already forgotten about me. Who would remember a vagabond like me? A homeless man wandering the streets wondering why he was even still alive if this was all life could offer him. I contemplated waiting in front of her house one night just to see her once more, but I didn't want to be a stalker so I just kept drifting through the streets of Seattle trying to survive. I quickly found out that this city was in fact a dangerous place. I ended up being beaten up a lot, of course I've never told Bella about the previous times I had been in a fight only because it hadn't been that bad. Only the last time I really had no other option than to look for help. Those two fuckers stole my jacket and it was freezing outside. I was pretty sure that I wouldn't survive the night if I didn't find another piece of clothing. For about an hour I looked everywhere hoping to find something decent but with my luck of course I hadn't found anything. For just one moment I thought I was going to die and then Bella came to my mind again. I wondered if it would be appropriate to ring her doorbell like this. She offered me a ride but she hadn't settled for this. I really didn't want to be of any trouble to her but as another icy wind blew through the streets I realized that I probably had no other choice. Nervous and cold as fuck, I had rung her doorbell. For a tiny second the thought of running away again went through my mind but it was if I could already feel the warmth from inside so I couldn't find the strength to order my legs to move.<br>Of course Bella had been amazing to me. She instantly ordered me in and tried to warm me. I felt like a little boy again, being taken care of by Kate, our nanny.  
>I knew I had to tell Bella what had happened so I did and I could see her getting angry when I came to the ugliest part. Right then I made a mental note never to infuriate her again. She might be small but I was pretty sure she could be a feisty bitch when needed.<br>When she asked me to stay the night I couldn't be more grateful but it also made me feel like I shouldn't be there. She did have a point when I would leave I would end up being super-cooled again within seconds so I accepted her offer.  
>The next morning she wouldn't let me leave and started about the fact that she would be spending Christmas Eve by herself. When she asked me if I wanted to stay because she really didn't want to be alone, I couldn't say no. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I didn't want her to be alone on an evening like this and to be honest; I didn't want to spend it all by myself either.<br>And I couldn't be happier that I had accepted her offer because it had been one of the best Christmases. I'd had in a long time. No cold, no trying to infuriate people, just happy feelings and laughter. And Bella.  
>Halfway through the evening I realized that I hadn't been honest with Bella. Not at all. She didn't know anything about me and it was starting to bother me. I wanted her to know everything because she deserved at least that much for everything she had already done for me. It hadn't been easy to tell her about my shitty life but every time I looked up at her I remembered why I was telling it. I won't deny that I was scared as fuck that she would throw me out as well but of course, Bella was Bella so she ended up crying with me and being more concerned than I ever wanted her to be. When I had finished I really wanted to stop talking about it and continue the movie. It didn't take long for Bella to fall asleep and I quickly covered her with one of my blankets and lie down on the floor myself. I couldn't sleep at all that night. I was too defeated by the storytelling and I felt bad for taking advantage of Bella. I knew she had said that she really didn't mind that I stayed a bit longer but I couldn't help but feel like an intruder.<br>When the sun beamed through the windows the next morning I had still been wide awake. I sat up and glanced at Bella who was still asleep. I thought I would have time to run to the store where I had seen that little bracelet I really wanted her to have before she woke up but I had been wrong. She was sitting up on the couch when I returned and I instantly felt bad for just leaving without writing her a little note. I was nervous about giving her the bracelet because apparently they were friendship thingeys. Luckily Bella had been really happy with them and then she started to throw propositions at me. The moment she told me about her idea, I wanted to hold her and thank her in every possible way for giving me an opportunity like that, but I found myself not being able to accept it just like that. I felt like I was asking for too much even when she was the one offering this. When she kept insisting I just couldn't say no anymore. It was probably the only way to start my life over again. So after a few arrangements I was happy to have something to look forward to.  
>The days that followed were amazing. The entire week was passing and I didn't even notice. It felt so normal to be around her and I had never been more comfortable.<br>But three days ago, things had started to change for me. I realized that I was a bit too interested in my lifesaver. I found out that whatever I proposed to do looked very much like a date and god, how much I wanted it to be dates. She intrigued me in the most amazing of all ways and I had caught myself staring at her more times that probably I should have.

When that freak was ogling her at the supermarket, I actually wanted to rip his head off. He wasn't even close to someone who would be good enough for her. But instead of making a scene which would have probably led me to being closed behind bars again, I decided to provoke him. The moment I had wrapped my arms around her waist he was already shooting daggers at me with his eyes and I couldn't stop smirking. Not only because the man was already backing off but also because I was finally able to hold her with a decent excuse.  
>For the rest of the evening I had been eager to touch her again. Just feel her and have an opportunity to find out what effects it had on me. I should have known that wine would loosen up everything and I couldn't be happier when I had been able to make her dance with me. The perfect feeling of having her in my arms again.<br>The moment I looked into her eyes again I knew I was lost. I wasn't able to stop myself from kissing her as it was all I had been able to think about for the past ten hours, so I just went for it.  
>And here I was right now, lying in her bed - not that anything had happened last night except for some kissing but she just didn't want me sleeping on the couch anymore so I happily accepted her offer to spend the night next to her - and I felt like everything was falling into place for the first time in a really long time.<br>I slowly opened my eyes and reached out to touch her. I slightly freaked out when Bella's side of the bed was empty. I was instantly awake and started to feel really nervous. Where had she gone to? Fuck, don't do this to me. Don't tell me that Bella had been so drunk last night that she woke up this morning regretting everything. Why else would she be gone? Dammit, she didn't even seem that drunk, just a little tipsy.  
>With a groan I stepped out of the bed and my back seemed really thankful that I had spent a night in a decent bed again. Yes, it had been since I had left home that I had slept in a comfortable bed.<br>With another sight I made my way to the living room hoping that she'd be there. Eventually I found her in the kitchen baking eggs with bacon. It smelled amazing but breakfast was the last thing I could focus on right now.  
>"Good morning," I greeted nervously. She looked up and returned my greetings with a little smile. Was that a nervous one as well? Dammit, why couldn't she just come over and kiss me again or at least say something to ease my mind. I was going crazy inside because she didn't make an attempt to any of that and I started to really hate myself for kissing her last night. What if I had ruined everything? What if I had just ruined our perfect friendship? Maybe that was all I could have asked for. I was on the verge of pulling out my hair so I decided to just ask her. I had nothing to lose.<p>

"Bella..." I said and my voice broke just by saying her name. She looked up at me, still churning the eggs. "Were you drunk last night?" It was barely a whisper but I was sure she heard it.  
>"Ehm, no, I had a few glasses of wine but drunk, no," she said, shaking her head but I could tell she was nervous, just like me. I had a strange feeling that I might be a different kind of nervous. Then it hit me that it wasn't that weird that she would feel uptight as well. She must have felt that I wanted more than one evening and was now anxious to tell me that she wasn't looking for something like this. Fuck me. One of my stupid actions had changed everything between us and I really started to hate myself. Maybe I should just pretend to regret this as well when she ended up regretting it. That way we could at least stay friends.<br>"Do you... regret it?" I finally said and I could feel a lump forming in my throat. Oh god, I wasn't ready for a positive answer to this but I had to know,  
>"Regret what?" she asked, really not-knowing what I meant. Please Bella, don't make this harder on me than it already is.<br>"Whatever happened between us," I softly said, diverting my eyes to the ground. I couldn't look at her. I didn't want to see her rejecting me. I knew this was too good to be true. She was too good to be true and definitely too good for me.

I heard a pan being replaced and a second later I felt her arms encircle my waist and there wasn't a better feeling in the world.  
>"You think I regret it?" she asked, forcing my eyes to meet hers.<br>"I thought... I mean, you weren't... you were gone and...," I stammered. God, since when did I have so many issues trying to express myself?  
>"You silly," she laughed and tightened her grip around me, "and no, I don't regret it." With a happy sigh I put my arms around her and rested my forehead against hers. Everything was good again.<br>"Then why did you leave?" I asked with a pout, "I would have loved waking up next to you."  
>"Because...," she said with a smile, "I wanted to make us breakfast and I actually have to start preparing dinner for tonight. It's already 10 AM and Alice and Jasper are going to be here in seven hours." Oh right, New Year's Eve.<br>"Are you sure you want me around?" I asked, still not very comfortable that I would be spending this evening with her friends.

"Of course I'm sure," she said, softly kissing my lips, "I'll need you when the New Year arrives." Her grin was the cutest and I couldn't keep myself from kissing her over and over again. God, I loved the feeling of her tiny body wrapped around mine. Right then the only thing going through my mind were the words 'I love her.' And I did. I always laughed at people saying that they had butterflies in their stomach because I believed it was total bullshit, until now. The feeling that had nested in my stomach could exactly be described as thousands of butterflies desperately trying to find their way out or something like that.  
>I wanted to tell her so badly how I felt, but realized it might be too soon to reveal this much and I really didn't want her to feel uncomfortable, or worse, scare her away.<br>"This way we'll never finish dinner," she laughed against my lips. "We can always order take away." "No way!" she exclaimed and padded my chest, "We're making dinner tonight."  
>"Okay okay. Can I help?" "Sure, but first you can eat your eggs. Then you can start cutting up the vegetables." She pointed at the bags on the counter. For the next two hour we were cooking in silence and every now and then I looked at her. She was so focussed on the cooking, it was extremely cute. After a while I couldn't take it anymore so I put down my knife and wrapped my arms around her from behind. I started nibbling on her neck and her giggles were making me feel so alive.<br>"Edwaaaaard," she whined but I knew she didn't mind my little attack because she was actually letting her head rest against my chest.  
>"I think we should take a break," I told her, hardly taking my lips off of her neck, "I'm suspecting you of making food for the entire city."<br>"I'm not," she defended herself and gave me a stern look, "I just want everything to be perfect."  
>For the rest of the morning and afternoon I was trying to distract her but I never succeeded. Half an hour before Alice and Jasper would arrive she threw a glance at the counter full of food. "I think I have everything," she said, approving, and started to untie her apron.<br>"You do have enough to feed the entire city," I said as I took in everything. There were three kinds of pasta, potatoes, rice, meat, fish, tons of vegetables and then I hadn't even mentioned the four types of desserts. I was pretty sure we had food for an entire month.  
>"It's only New Year's Eve once a year," she said as she walked to her bedroom, "I'm gonna get changed and I've counted the cookies so don't try to steal one." Damn her, she already knew me so well.<br>I made my way back to the living room and let myself drop on the couch. I wasn't going to deny that I was nervous about tonight. I would be meeting two of Bella's closest friends and I was scared as fuck that they wouldn't like me. In fact, I knew they probably wouldn't like me. To outsiders it might look like I was taking full advantage of her and maybe that was right now, but I would pay back every penny eventually so I wasn't being such a bad guy, was I?

I groaned at my own thoughts and hoped everything would turn out just fine tonight.  
>"You don't like it?" Bella said amused of my moans and I instantly whipped my head towards her.<p>

If I would say she looked stunning I would be offending her. She was wearing a dark blue strapless dress that accented all of her curves and her hair was hanging in loose curls over her shoulders. I was speechless, literally. Damn her.  
>"You look like a fish," she giggled as she took place next to me. Charming, Edward, very charming.<br>"God, Bella, you... you look... god, you're perfect," I finally muttered and pulled her closer. Her smile was making my heart beat ten times faster than it already was and the minute she kissed me my mind went in overdrive. She was capable of over overpowering all of my senses just with one touch. I wasn't going to survive this.

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><p><em>Thank you everyone for reading and supporting me and this story :D You're the reason I keep writing<em>

_It might take a while to update now, but after Thursday my exams are over and then you might receive more updates! Something to look forward too! (Well, at least I hope you do!)_

_Again a special thanks to MidnightSunSC17 for beta-reading and just being wonderful_

_Sneak peeks for everyone who's lovely to leave me a review :D_

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	11. Acquaintance

**Chapter 11: Acquaintances**

BPOV:

They always say you should make the last day of every year a memorable day. I guess I succeeded that since this day couldn't have been more perfect. Cooking and Edward, what else does a girl want? Exactly, it was like heaven.

I usually wouldn't be eager to dress up for an evening like this, but now that Edward was around I couldn't wait to put on my new dark blue dress. And I had been right, he loved it. All points to Bella! Oh, and to the designer of the dress, of course.

My head rested on his shoulder as we were waiting for our guests to arrive. It's wasn't hard to tell that Edward was nervous about all this. He was staring at the wall in front of us like it was the most interesting thing in the world, but in fact he was lost in this thoughts. Carefully I traced circles on the palm of his hand to distract him. He offered me a small smile and planted a kiss on my temple.

"Don't you think it's weird that this isn't weird?" he silently said, "I mean, this should be weird, right? Suddenly being able to touch you? But it feels normal, just right." Heart flutter.

"I know what you mean," I whispered. And I did. I really did.

He offered me a small, but meaningful smile, pulled me a little closer and went back to his nervous self. This wasn't going to be an easy evening for him. I was pretty sure he was going to want to impress them but I also knew that he felt like he was worthless which of course didn't help him to control his nerves. I was glad I'd been been able to push away my own nerves as I realized I shouldn't be afraid of what Alice might think. It was still my life and if I wanted to live it with Edward, then that was my choice and not hers. Oh god, Bella, you're going way to fast with this. How long has it been since our first kiss? Not even twenty four hours and I was already sort of mapping out our future. Fuck me.

The ringing of the bell snapped me out of my thoughts and I got up, away from the warmth from Edward's body to welcome our guests. "Happy Old Year," Jasper shouted as I opened the door, causing me to jump. Alice slapped his chest but couldn't stop giggling. "Don't mind him, I think he's a little bit too excited about this," she said as I let them in.

"Of course I'm excited, Bella is cooking," he said and immediately spotted the table full of food on his right, "This is going to be the best night ever."

"Don't you dare touch anything until we give you permission," Alice warned him as she entered the living room.

"Oh my... Are we early?" she suddenly asked as she noticed Edward who had just nervously stood up to greet them.

"No, you're not. We have another guest tonight," I announced and quickly introduced them to each other without mentioning who Edward really was, just his name would suffice for now. I was pretty sure Alice wouldn't even remember the name of the guy whom I offered a ride and if she did, well, there are a lot of Edwards on this planet so this way I might be able to postpone Alices criticism for a little longer.

When Edward kindly greeted her, Alice seemed really enthusiastic and I sighed in relief. She didn't now. Yet. I really hoped she wouldn't just start asking about how we met. I didn't want to ruin the atmosphere just yet so I quickly asked them about their Christmas Eve.

Jasper immediately started talking and went on for fifteen minutes about what they had done those two days and how much his mother already liked Alice. Shocking news! Everyone likes Alice and I knew that Jaspers mom wouldn't be an exception.

When they finished their enthusiastic talks, Alice asked me about my own Christmas and I could notice the sad look on her face. Oh right, I was supposed to spend that evening alone.

I pretended to not have heard her question and got up with the excuse that I wanted to put the appetisers in the oven. Luckily, Alice and Jasper didn't notice that I was avoiding the question or maybe they realized that I didn't want to talk about the evening because they thought I must have felt lonely. Maybe this could work out just fine.

When I got back into the living room, Jasper was animatedly talking to Edward about some sort of sports car that was just being introduced to the market. I couldn't keep myself from smiling.

Jasper seemed to like him, which was already a step in the right direction. I took my seat next to Edward again and wanted to start a conversation with Alice but I really didn't have anything to talk about. Everything in my world right now seemed to include Edward and that was the one thing I wanted to keep from her for a little longer. But of course, Alice wouldn't be Alice if that was all she wanted to hear. Even though she had been talking about her wonderful two days with the Whitlock's I noticed that she was looking at Edward and then at me and back every once in a while. Well, she definitely must have felt the energy that was going around 'cause I most definitely did.

"Bella, I think we need to go and check on the appetisers in the oven." And there we had it. I knew there was no way the mini pizzas were ready yet but I suspected that this was Alices way to talk to me alone. About Edward. And I was right.

"Now I know why I haven't heard of you the past week. You've locked yourself in here with that," she smirked, gesturing at the living room, obviously talking about Edward. I could literally feel my cheeks were starting to flush. Not that I was ashamed of what happened, I was scared of what Alice was thinking that could have happened right now.

"Tell me EVERYTHING." I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen Alice this excited about anything. If only she could keep up this mood I would be content.

"It's really not an interesting story," I said, trying to avoid this conversation.

"Are you guys dating?" she asked me, completely ignoring my words.

Were we? I mean, we kissed and cuddled and he told me he felt comfortable around me, but we never talked about labels.

"You haven't discussed it yet, have you?" Alice asked.

"No," I admitted.

"But you have already kissed?"

"Yes."

"I KNEW IT," she said enthusiastically and clapped her hands, "Oh Bella, I'm so glad you're finally taking this step, and you didn't even need my help." Yes, Alice had already tried to set me up with men, multiple times.

"So, how did you two meet?" Dammit, couldn't she just settle for what she already got so far. No, Alice had to know everything.

"I'll tell you later, okay? Edward and Jasper must be waiting for us," I tried, hoping she wouldn't insist me to tell her already.

"Oh come on, Bella, you know I live for these kind of stories." No, Alice, don't puppy-eye me. It's not gonna work. Maybe she never needed to know the truth. Okay, I know that was wrong, but at least she didn't need to know tonight, right?

"If you won't tell me, I'll ask him," she threatened, shooting me a challenging look while she was already walking back towards the living room. Fuck. I quickly snatched her back by her arm. Edward didn't know that I actually wanted to delay this conversation so if she would ask him he would probably spill. And he wouldn't make himself look better, on the contrary, because that's who he is. He is someone to always display his flaws while in fact in this case it didn't matter. I guess my brilliant plan of telling her later was destroyed before I had even been able to think about it further.

"That's my girl," she said, instantly giving me all of her attention again as I took a breath, preparing myself.

"You remember that guy I told you about a month ago, the one I offered a ride after my weekend in Forks?" I started slowly, hoping she'd be able to make the connection herself. But she didn't. She just nodded as an encouragement for me to continue. Come on, was it that vague? Anyone would immediately get the hint, but of course Alice didn't.

Would she really make me say it out loud? She was so brilliant but when you needed her to use that brain of hers it somehow magically seemed to disappear.

I just shot a look in the direction of the living room hoping she'd now know what I meant.

"Edward is...that tramp is..." she shrieked, clearly still letting my explanation sink in. I could only nod. Okay, now it was going to come. Prepare yourself, Bella, mad-Alice might be on her way. Wait, who was I kidding, she had already arrived.

"Holy cow, Bella, are you out of your mind?" she yelled all traces of her enthusiasm gone within a second. Didn't I tell you? This was going to get bad.

"Alice, he's not a bad guy!" I protested and crossed my arms to make myself look more forceful.

"Of course he's nice to you! You give him everything! How long has he been staying here? Living like a parasite? God, Bella, what if he had killed you?"

"Oh my god, Alice, not that one again. HE. IS. NOT. A. MURDERER." I was pretty sure Edward and Jasper could hear all of this but I didn't care at the moment. I was infuriated. She had already talked to him for about an hour and actually seemed to like him but now she knew who he really was he suddenly could be the worst person in the world.

"You really think you can know a person in just one week? Grow up, Bella! This is not kindergarten anymore where you make friends with everyone within seconds!"

"You don't know him," I stated and I could feel my eyes were starting to tear. I wasn't someone who could keep up being mad for too long. I always ended up crying.

Yes, it sucks.

"And neither do you," she forcefully replied. Oh please, lame argument, Alice.

"I know him better than you do and in fact I'm the one who decides about my own life so you'll just have to accept what is." I wasn't going to let her bring me down. Not this time.

"Bella, don't you see it? He's not with you because he cares about you. You'll end up being hurt and alone again." She had calmed down a bit and actually looked concerned now.

"You don't know," I silently added. I really wanted to tell her otherwise, but I couldn't. Edward had never expressed what he felt, which I didn't expect yet, of course, we were only dating for a day. But it felt right, just like he said.

"I do know!" she said and reeled off towards the living room again without saying another words. I quickly followed her, still trying to stop her from doing something I wouldn't want to happen on an evening like this. But I was already too late.

"Tell her the truth," she yelled at Edward, "tell her you're just taking advantage of her because she is clearly too blind to see it."

"What the fuck, Alice, can you just shut up, you don't know anything," I shrieked as I finally caught up with her. How dare she talk to him like that? I knew she was my best friend and I should always chose her over a boyfriend but this time I was so mad at her I didn't even had to think about who I would chose. She didn't even give him a chance. Friends should always give their friends' boyfriends a chance and if they blew it, then they were allowed to throw a tantrum. Edward looked so hurt by her comment I was so close to throwing Alice out.

"Alice, kitchen, now!" I yelled again, pointing toward the room. I needed to tell her everything in order for her to give Edward a chance and I didn't want to have this conversation in front of him, because I couldn't handle seeing him like this.

With a huff and another look that could kill she bolted back to the kitchen. This was far worse than I had expected. Much much much worse.

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><p>EPOV:<p>

My biggest fear had become reality. Her best friend didn't like me. At all. She thought I was a fraud and in fact, I couldn't tell her wrong. She was right; I was taking advantage now, but I was going to pay her back every penny she ever spent on me and there was nothing that would make me break that promise. So that doesn't make me a bad guy, right?

And about her statement that I didn't care, god, I was so close to spilling whatever it was I felt, but I thought that that might not be the way I wanted Bella to hear it for the first time, if in fact she would want to hear it.

Maybe for her I was just a distraction, and whatever was going on between us was just an extra to our deal. I couldn't bear the thought that in a month I would never be able to hold her or kiss her again. Damn, I was already in way too deep.

When I heard Alice yelling something again from out of the kitchen, I realized that perhaps I should already worry about stuff like this right now. Maybe Bella would throw me out now that Alice seemed to really dislike me. Best friends before boyfriends, right?

Maybe I should just leave tonight and let them have their New Year's Eve. I didn't want to leave but as it seemed right now I'd be the reason this evening would be ruined.

"I think I should go," I silently said while I got up, maybe more to myself than to Jasper, who was still on the couch next to me. He seemed nervous about this as well.

"I don't think Bella would appreciate it if you just left," Jasper stated as I passed him. Oh right, didn't think about that. He was right, she would be hurt and I just couldn't go to the kitchen like 'Bye, have a nice evening. Bella, I'll call you with the cell phone I don't have.'

"Sit back down," Jasper instructed and gave me a polite smile. I did as he said and groaned, dropping my head in my hands.

"Would you care telling me what exactly is going on between you and Bella that had Alice this upset?" Jasper suddenly broke the silence. Well, it wasn't that silent since we could still hear Alice and Bella arguing in the kitchen, of course.

I was sure Jasper would hear it from someone eventually, Bella or Alice, and I had a strong feeling that both of their stories wouldn't be the exact truth. I bet Bella would be too positive and defending me too much while Alice would actually still all of my bad features. If I would tell him he would know the exact truth.

I wasn't ready to tell him about my shitty life though, but I wanted to talk to him about the 'Bella-part' because right now, that was the cause that Alice and Bella were still yelling at each other.

"Alice has a good point in hating me," I softly said and Jasper instantly frowned at me, "I'm most definitely not good enough for Bella." it pained me to face this but it was the truth. Bella was honestl, kind, and I was nothing. Absolutely nothing and on top of that I had nothing. I considered myself the lowest of low.

"She took care of me when no one else even batted an eyelid and I'll be forever grateful for that."

"What happened?"

"I live here at the moment, because I have nowhere else to go and I have nothing to rely on," I sadly told him. "But I don't plan on staying here forever. I'm not completely taking advantage of her, Jasper. I plan on paying her back, everything. She has already fixed me a job and the moment my first pay check arrives I'm going to arrange everything. She is giving me a way out of a life that I couldn't alter myself."

"She has a big heart, our Bella," he said with a soft smile. I was surprised that he actually took this so well. Maybe he would side up with me. Oh god, Edward, no, what are you thinking, he wouldn't side against his girlfriend. Stupid.

"But you two aren't just friends anymore, right?" I just shook my head. I was most definitely past that stage. Way past it.

"I think Alice is just afraid that Bella will end up hurt when you leave," he said.

"I won't completely leave if that's what she wants. Even if I have my own place I'd be happy if we could keep whatever is happening between us the same." Oh god, this was going way to fast. How long have we been together? Twenty four hours now? And I was already talking about next month without knowing how Bella felt about all this. Fuck me.

"So this whole relationship isn't a way to get out of paying her back?"

"What? NO!" I forcefully replied, startling him. "Okay, okay, just wanted to be sure," he said, holding up his hands in defence.

"I didn't want to get this involved with her," I whispered and once again groaned. I found myself in heaven and hell at the same time. It felt perfect to be around her but then again maybe I should avoid her, for her own good.

"Yeah, I can imagine it's not hard to start falling in love with her." Ho there cowboy, she's mine. Or at least, I think she is. "But of course, I couldn't be happier with Alice, though she can throw a tantrum from time to time," he quickly added, , probably noticing my sudden change of emotion.

"Jasper, can I ask you some advice?" I asked softly. Maybe I needed a guy's point of view on this to have a clear view. Maybe I was just thinking this was more than it really was.

"Sure," he replied, frowning a bit, "but I don't know if I'm the right guy to give advice. I usually suck at it." I smiled at his declaration. Well, he was all I had right now, so I decided to go for it.

"Should I leave Bella alone? I mean, I can still get out of this now and pay for whatever she has given me up until now."

"She offered you this, right? So I assume that she doesn't have any problems with you staying over so at this moment you have to do whatever you feel comfortable with. Bella is the kind of girl who will tell you when she feels uncomfortable, so if that happens, that's your cue to leave, but up until then it's your choice."

"I don't want to leave," I said with a genuine smile. I guess Jasper was kind of at my side, but maybe only when Alice wasn't around. Well, I was happy he had at least wanted to help me soothe my mind.

"Good. Because I can tell that Bella actually likes you." I couldn't hold back another smile when he told me that. Of course, I knew in some way she must have liked me, otherwise I wouldn't be here on her couch right now, but hearing it from a close friend of her actually made my heart do a fucking happy dance.

"Jasper, I think I'm in love with her," I said after another silence. It was barely a whisper but I knew he heard it.

"I kind of assumed that already." Oh, had I been that clear?

"Do you think Bella will throw me out now Alice clearly hates me?" I asked, scared for his answer.

"Alice might have a great influence on her but in the end, Bella will always call her own shots, so I don't think she'll throw you out." I let go a sigh of relief.

"And actually, I think that argument over there has been going on a little too long now. I'm going to end it." he added and stalked off towards the kitchen. I could hear the yelling intensify for a moment and then die down again, and I swear that was how I was feeling at this moment, I was dying on the inside as well, hoping Bella wouldn't think different of me now that she had spoken to Alice. I could only pray that Jasper would have my back, even if it was just a little bit.

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><p><em>AN: Thank you for reading. :D I really appreciate it_

_A special thanks to MidnightSunSC17 for beta-reading all of this!_

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_Lots of love, Ellen  
><em>


	12. Happy New Year?

**Chapter 12: Happy New Year?**

BPOV:

I was startled when Jasper suddenly bolted into the kitchen putting our fight to a halt. Yes, Alice and I had been arguing ever since we left the living room. And in fact, it was not as if we had new arguments in our discussion, we kept going over the same things over again and again. Alice accused Edward of being a fraud and I defended him saying he was kind-hearted and had lived through a lot.

"Enough," Jasper yelled forcefully, causing Alice to stop mid-sentence.

I wasn't even listening to her anymore since nothing that she said made sense. I knew she wanted to protect me but I didn't need her protection, and most definitely not from Edward.

"Will you hear yourself already?" he continued, keeping up the same tone, "Two best friends fighting, probably without a good reason." Excuse me, I do have a reason. If I didn't yell at her, Alice would throw Edward out and that was not going to happen under my watch.

"Jas, she's going to get hurt if she keeps going out with him."

"How do you know, Alice, do you know Edward?" Wait, what? Jasper was defending Edward now? Or even more surprising, counteracting Alice? Hell yes!

"Euhm, no, but Jasper, he's homeless, doesn't that say enough?"

"So if I lost everything I had all of the sudden and had to live on the streets, you'd dump my ass?" Oh god, Jasper was definitely on my side.

"No, that's different!" she said, crossing her arms in front of her.

"How is that different, Alice?" I asked agitated. "Because it is!" Great reply, Alice, great reply. I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes at her.

"Jas, I'm just trying to protect her!" Alice said again. "Darling, she's not a five year old who needs your protection 24/7. She's old enough to make her own decisions."

"I'm not going to stand there and watch someone hurt her. She's my best friend."

"You seem pretty convinced that he's gonna hurt her."

"You seem pretty convinced of the opposite," she said, eyeing him suspiciously.

Here I was, standing in my kitchen, listening to my best friend and her boyfriend arguing about my life. I didn't even get a chance to interfere.

"Because I've taken the time to talk to him and ask him out about this whole situation." Jasper had spoken to Edward? Oh, that'll explain his support. So if I only could get Alice to listen to him...

"Oh great, he talked you into his brilliant plan as well," she said with a huff.

"God, Alice, can you for a second just think about the fact that he might actually be struggling with this too. He's terrified at the moment, wondering if he should leave because he doesn't want to come between the two of you. He's constantly thinking in terms of 'What is best for Bella?' Isn't that enough to believe him?" I was so close to hugging Jasper for standing up to his girlfriend but all I could hear was the fact that Edward was struggling and thinking about leaving. No way. Without saying anything, I reeled off to the living room, towards Edward, who indeed seemed to be lost in his mind again and that obviously wasn't a good thing right now.

He looked up when I approached and I could see the sadness in his eyes. "I don't want you to fight with her because of me," he silently said, "Maybe I should just leave."

I sat down on his lap and put my hands of both sides of his face. "No one is leaving before this is sorted out, Edward." He managed to give me a little smile and then rested his forehead against mine while wrapping his arms around me.

"What have you told Jasper?" I asked curiously. "Nothing special," he said but I could tell that wasn't the true because he had diverted his eyes.

"I doubt that because Jasper is defending you right now and probably pissing Alice off," I said, amused.

"He is?" Hope filled his eyes. I nodded and couldn't stop smiling. Jasper would probably be able to make Alice more open-minded and right now, that was all I wanted, for Alice to give him a chance.

"I don't want to lose you," he whispered while laying his head on my shoulder. My heart swelled at that statement and I could feel tears forming in my eyes. Could it be that he already felt something for me as well? I was kind of surprised that in a span of one week I had fallen for him because I thought I would take months to really get to know someone and develop something more than just friendship. Guess I had been wrong.

"I don't want to lose you too," I softly replied. I instantly felt his arms tighten around me and a relieved breath escaped his lungs.

After another five minutes, Jasper and Alice entered the living room again and I could tell that Jasper had won the discussion because Alice was having an annoyed look on her face. She didn't like to lose an argument and definitely not from Jasper.

"You get one chance, but the minute you even hurt her just a little bit, I'm going back to my bitch-mode," Alice said to Edward and I could see Jasper winking at me. Everything would be alright.

"I wouldn't want it any other way," Edward stated and smiled grateful at both of them.

I reluctantly got off of his lap because it might be a little inappropriate now that our company had returned but I did stay as close as possible.

"I guess we can throw those mini pizzas away now," I said, suddenly remembering the appetisers I left in the kitchen. They would be cold by now and putting them back in the oven wasn't an option.

"Stupid fight," Jasper mumbled under his breath and I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "Don't worry, Jasper, there's plenty of food left, and you're not allowed to leave before everything is gone."

"Deal," he grinned, "But then I'll have to start eating now or I'll never be able to finish."

"Jasper, don't overdo it, I don't want to spend the first day of 2012 next to my boyfriend who's hugging a toilet," Alice whined, causing everyone else to laugh. How did we manage this? Five minutes ago it looked like the entire evening was ruined and now we were all laughing like it never happened. Not that I was complaining of course.

Checking the clock, I decided it was about time to dig in. As we made our way to the table, Edward brushed past me and softly pressed his lips to my neck. A shiver ran across my spine and I swear I could feel the vibrations in my pinkie toe. All he did was kissing my neck and brushing his hand over the small of my back and I was already combusting. The smug look in his eyes told me he knew exactly what he had done. I narrowed my eyes at him, hoping he'd get the message. He wasn't going to get away with this so easily. Game on, my friend.

Throughout the entire dinner there was some sort of tension going on between Edward and me that had never been around before. Luckily Alice and Jasper never noticed it as we were pretty good at still maintaining a conversation with them as well. I was surprised when Alice directly spoke to Edward and asked him about his New Year's resolutions. For a moment I wondered what Jasper had said to her in order for this change to appear. I knew she would give him a chance, but when Alice gives someone a chance she's not able to show her disapproval at all times. I expected that there would be some glances that make you want to run, hide and never come back added up to the 'I do not speak to you unless it's obligated'. This time she actually seemed to like Edward, or she must have improved her acting skills. I decided to let it go as I didn't matter. Stop the worrying and be happy that she isn't giving him the silent treatment. Maybe Alice had realized that Edward wasn't a bad guy after all. Thank god.

When Edward reached for his glass of wine, I decided it was time to show him that you don't just play with Bella Swan. I slipped my foot out of my blue pump and slowly slid it under his trousers to brush my foot along his shin-bone while shooting him a vicious grin. Totally surprised by my action, he spit out the wine he had just drunk.

Payback is a bitch, my friend. I know, I know, it's a cheap act, but it works every time.

"Everything okay?" Jasper asked, actually concerned because Edward kept coughing.

"Euhm, yeah, I'm fine... Just chocked on the wine," Edward muttered while cleaning up his side of the table with his napkin. I had to bite my tongue to maintain my innocent appearance.

This time it was Edward who was narrowing his eyes at me. Oh, I'm ready for whatever you have in mind.

As the evening went on I found myself constantly checking Edward so I wouldn't be surprised by one of his revenge actions. Every time our eyes met he grinned at me which caused me to almost combust. I didn't know if he was going to try anything as that would mean that I would get back at him again.

"Only ten more minutes," Alice suddenly said, jumping up from her chair, startling everyone else at the table. I shot a quick glance at the clock to check, not that I didn't believe her; I was just surprised that time had gone by so fast. Ever since Jasper had interfered at the fight, the evening had been perfect. With a content look on my face I made my way to the kitchen to get the bottle of Champagne.

I was trying to find a knife to remove the wrap on the bottle when suddenly two arms encircled my waist. "You were trying to kill me back there, weren't you?" Edward whispered with a hint of mock in his voice. His hot breath so close to my ear didn't help to keep up my smug appearance and that was exactly what I needed to win this little competition that was going on between us. Damn him

"Do you have any idea what your little act did to me?" he said, almost growling in my ear. Oh, yes I do, champ, that was exactly the plan and it seemed to have worked out perfectly. Go Bella!

He pressed a soft kiss behind my ear and traced the length of my arm with his index finger, leaving a trail of goose bumps. I whimpered at the reaction my body had to his gentle touch. Oh god, he was trying to get the same response out of me now, and fuck me, because he was succeeding with ease. Thankful that Alice and Jasper were in the other room I pressed my body against his.

I was already completely at his mercy when all he suddenly stepped away from me. Completely stunned I turned around only to find him with the smuggest look of all looks on his face. "Come on, darling, we don't want to miss calling in the New Year, don't we?" he said, his voice sweeter than honey. Dammit, Edward! He was so much better at this game than I expected him to be.

He took the tray of glasses and with a wink he went back to the living room. Yeah, he knew exactly he had succeeded his evil plan. I tried to regain my composure and quickly followed after him.

Alice was already counting down from 120 and everyone had to laugh at the fact that she couldn't count down fast enough without stumbling over her words so she had to skip a few numbers. With an annoyed look she gave up at seventy eight and restarted at twenty together with the rest of us.

Immediately after we had yelled 'Happy New Year', I diverted my attention to Edward, who had already approached me. I quickly threw my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his, not caring about the other two people in the room. Completely caught up in our little moment Edward lifted me of the ground and I instantly locked my legs around his waist. This year couldn't have started any better.

After two more bottles of Champagne and a few hours, Jasper and Alice got up to leave. It was already past four and everyone was already yawning but reluctant to end this night. We said our goodbyes and exchanged hugs as we let them out. Back inside I couldn't help but groan when I took in the appearance of the kitchen. Seems like I would have to do a lot of cleaning up tomorrow. Happy new year, Bella!

I returned to the living room where Edward had almost passed out on the couch. I took my seat next to him and he quickly his head into my lap.

"Thank you," he mumbled.

"What for?" I asked, confused, as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Tonight." He looked up at me with the most genuine smile on his face. I returned it and intertwined my fingers with his, feeling completely happy.

"Jasper is really cool," he said.

"I guess you didn't like Alice as much as you liked him, did you?" I couldn't help but grin.

"I thought she would be bitchier after your fight but she was nice as well."

"Yeah, I didn't expect that," I said truthfully.

"Do you think she's holding something back?" I could see a little bit of fear hiding in his eyes when he spoke those words. "I don't know, but that wouldn't be something Alice would do, so I think she really is going to give you a chance."

The smile that followed my response could light up an entire city and it most definitely warmed my heart. I was really happy that he actually cared about what my friends thought about him, because that meant I wasn't just some flirt. Not that his other actions confirmed the opposite but it was nice to see it in every action. Again I found myself wondering what was going on in his mind and how much I meant to him. Deciding that for now it didn't matter and that time would answer all of my questions, I enjoyed our little moment.

"Let's go to sleep," I said, after trying to suppress another yawn. Edward reluctantly removed his head and was already heading towards the cupboard where his pillow and blanket lay. Lovely insecure guy thought he would be occupying the couch again.

"And where do you think you're going," I chuckled. He instantly turned to look at me again with a bit of a confused look and pointed towards the cabinet.

I shook my head and pointed at my bedroom. There was no way that he would be sleeping on the couch again. I wanted to wake up next to him again. Oh, and snuggle a bit more before falling asleep of course. The look on his face when it finally sank in what I meant made my heart skip a beat. That fucking crooked smile of his was going to kill me one day, mark my words.

I had fallen asleep pretty quickly which didn't surprise me since it was already past five when we had gotten to bed and on top of that; Edward's chest was the perfect pillow. The rise and fall of his chest had lulled me to sleep within seconds.

The next morning, the ringtone of my cell phone woke me and I groaned because I already hated whoever called me now. It was only 10 AM for Christ's sake. Doesn't anyone sleep in on New Year's Day anymore?

I ignored the tone and closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would catch me again.

When my phone went off again I reached out for it, more annoyed than ever. I could let it ring but I didn't want to wake Edward so without checking the display I answered the call.

"What?" I snapped at whoever calling me.

"Bella, I need you and Edward ready to go in fifteen minutes," Jasper's voice was too enthusiastic for a morning like this. Something had happened but to be honest, I couldn't care less at the moment. I just wanted to sleep a bit more and most definitely didn't want to leave this bed before noon.

"Jasper, can we play one of your games another time please? I really don't want to get up already," I whined, hoping he would just leave it at this.

"No, Bella, this is important. Wake Edward and make sure you're all dressed when we arrive." I could hear the engine of a car being started.

"What's going on," I said, suddenly a bit scared. They were already on their way over here which meant that it must be something serious. If it would be one of his games he would wait to get in his car 'til I decided to co-operate. That's the way it always goes.

"I'll explain everything when I arrive at your place, or no, when we're on our way to Vancouver." Vancouver? What the hell was happening in Vancouver and why did I have to get up for it?

"Can you just get up already, Bella, please."

"O-kay!" I said, still annoyed but Jasper had managed to make me curious enough to agree to get up. "Thank you. We'll be there in about fifteen minutes," he said and ended the phone call. Dammit, Jasper, ruining my morning. It better be something really important or you'll never hear the end of this.

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><p><em>*grinning* Yeees, a cliff hanger :')<em>

_You are the loveliest people ever for reading this :D Thanks for all your support :)_

_Again; sneak peek for everyone who reviews :D (I still can't believe I have already 100 reviews :D :D)_

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	13. The Whitlocks

_Disclaimer:_I don't own these characters.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13: The Whitlocks<strong>

With another groan I put my cell phone back on the nightstand and turn to face Edward, who was still sleeping. "Edward," I whispered while nudging his side. He let go a sound of agitation, moving a bit but he didn't wake up.

"Edward," I tried again and pressed a soft kiss on his temple hoping that this method would work better. It didn't. He squirmed a bit but his breathing remained slow which indicated he was still fast asleep. Damn, this was going to be harder than I thought. I really didn't want to wake him rudely so I just started peppering little kissing along his jaw.

"Still tired," he finally said, his voice thick with sleep, while pulling the covers over his head to show he didn't want to leave this bed as well. I understand you, Edward, I truly do.

"Edward, we'll have to get up. Jasper has just called and there is some sort of an emergency," I explained, jabbing him a bit harder now.

He turned around to face me and pulled the covers back down. "And how urgent is that emergency?" he groaned. "Urgent enough to demand us to be ready to go in ten minutes."

"I don't want to get up already," he pouted.

"You'll have to use that look on Jasper if you want to get out of this because I'm not in charge of this."

"Fine," he huffed and stepped out of bed, quickly making his way towards the bathroom. With a little giggle I got up as well and quickly retrieved a pair of jeans and a sweater from my wardrobe.

Ten minutes later we were both fully dressed, waiting and Edward still wore his annoyed look as well. "I'm going to kill him if this is some stupid joke," he grumbled while pacing through the living room.

"Oh and yesterday you were all 'Jasper is so cool'."

"That was before he woke me up early when I wanted to sleep in," he stated but couldn't hide a smile. I immediately closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms around his waist, "You silly."

When the bell chimed through my apartment, I quickly went to open the door. When Jasper is in a hurry, you don't want to make him wait in front of the door.

"Are you ready?" he asked, already making an attempt to go back outside. "Jesus, Jasper, calm down already." We quickly followed him because we didn't want him to make some sort of a scene because we were too slow.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" I asked while we were almost being pushed inside his car. Alice was still in the front seat and gave us an apologetic look. Without answering, Jasper got behind the steering wheel and put the car in reverse to get back on the road.  
>"Jasper, if you don't tell me where you're taking us, I'm going to bust a window!" I yelled. Okay, I wouldn't bust his window, but a little threat wouldn't do any harm, right?<p>

"Yesterday when we arrived, I instantly recognised Edward but I couldn't tell who he exactly was. I racked my brain trying to find the clue I was looking for, but failed. When you guys started fighting I gave up mainly because I thought it didn't matter."

Edward shot Jasper a weird look. "How could you know me? I've never seen you before."

"Yeah, well, I had never seen you before as well, at least not in real life."

Okay, Jasper had to spill soon or I would lose my fucking mind here.

"My brother Peter, he's married to Madelyn," he finally said causing Edward to completely freeze. Even I already was close to freaking out so I thought he that he had probably gone into shock. "Edward, are you okay?" I quickly asked, poking him slightly to snap him out of it.

"You.. wait... you... Madelyn..." He was struggling to express whatever was going through that pretty head of his. "You know my sister?" he finally managed to utter after taking a few breaths.

"It was only when Alice mentioned your last name this morning at breakfast I realized where I knew you from. Guess I had missed out on your full name yesterday trying to remember who you were. Anyway, Madelyn has a picture of the both of you and your brother on her cupboard in the living room and that's why I recognised you."

Edward let his head fall back against the car seat, completely surprised by this information. I would give everything to know what exactly was going on in his mind right now.

"Are we going over there now?" I asked because Edward most likely wasn't capable of thinking rational.

"Yes, she'll be shocked to see him, at least, but I'm pretty sure it'll be the best New Year's gift she has ever gotten."

"Jasper, why did I have to get up?" I asked, "This is something between Edward and Madelyn," I was suddenly aware that I would be interfering in something quite personal. Edward and I were only dating for two fucking days and I didn't know if this was something in which he would want me being involved already.

"Bella, I need you here with me," Edward said, bringing my internal battle to a halt. His eyes were fixated on me and pleading, "Please."

I assured him that I wasn't going anywhere and squeezed his hand. That seemed to ease his mind again but I could still see some sort of fear hiding behind his gorgeous green eyes.

"Why aren't you over-the-top happy about this?" Alice asked, cocking her eyebrow at Edward's reaction.

"What if she doesn't want to see me?" His voice was no louder than a whisper, "What if she hates me after everything I did?"

"Yeah, she hates you, that's why she has a picture of you in her living room, dude!" Jasper grinned, without averting his eyes off of the road. As much as Jasper was right, his comment didn't help Edward to calm down. His breathing became more and more raged as we kept moving. I quickly took his hands in mine, forcing his eyes to meet mine. "Edward, you've done nothing wrong. Madelyn doesn't have any reason to hate you and she won't. She'll be happy to see you just as you'll be happy to see her."  
>He just nodded but I was sure that he wasn't convinced yet. "She's right," Jasper said, trying to make him believe that everything would turn out just fine, "She was devastated when you left and she still is. I guess you'll have to make sure to take enough air in your lungs before you enter 'cause she's probably going to squeeze all the air out of you when she sees you." I guess that did it for Edward because I could see a smile forming on his lips.<p>

"You said she's married to your brother?." Edward suddenly remarked after a long silence, "When did she get married?" I could see some sort of sadness in his eyes at the question. No doubt because he hadn't been able to see his sister getting married.

"This summer," Alice answered. Yes, I did remember her mentioning that Jasper had been to that wedding. In fact, that would have been the first time Alice would have met his parents, but she had a business trip the same weekend so she couldn't join him.

"And in fact, she mentioned you during the wedding, how much she wished you could have been there with her," Jasper added looking in the rear-view mirror probably to check Edward's reaction.

"I wish I could have been there as well," he softly said, sorrow filling his eyes. I couldn't handle seeing him that way, it literally broke my fucking heart. Yeah, I know, I was shocked to find myself in a state like this because it should be too soon for this kind of feelings. Well, I can't control my feelings, can I? In an attempt to sooth him, I rubbed my hand over his knee and to my biggest surprise I could feel the muscles there relax.

For the remaining part of the drive Edward was trying to get more information out of Alice and Jasper about Madelyn but they kept silent as they wanted to give her a chance to tell him herself. He looked so adorable, practically bouncing in his seat, nervous and excited at the same time, all traces of sadness gone.

"I'm going to see Madelyn again," he suddenly said to me as if he had only found out one second ago instead of about an hour. I couldn't help but smile at him. "And all thanks to you." Tears filled his eyes again and I had a hard time trying to push away my own tears as well. He quickly pulled me closer and kissed the top of my head. "What did I do to deserve you?" he softly added and again my heart melted at his words. I couldn't come up with a decent answer that didn't sound too mushy or the complete opposite so I just snuggled closer to him.

As we passed the road signs that we were in Vancouver Edward started shifting in his seat again. Well, not that I blamed him. He would see his sister again for the first time in more than a year; that was a big fucking deal and I would've started worrying if it didn't affect him.

"I think it might be better if we give her some sort of warning that you're here," Jasper contemplated as he pulled up in front of a house, "We wouldn't want to surprise her too much, in her condition."

"Condition?" Edward said, a little distracted because he was taking in the environment.

"You'll see," Alice said, already getting out of the car.

We quickly followed and Edward looked like he was lost in his mind, once again.

"Edward, it's going to be fine," I said and pressed my lips to his shoulder. Yeah, he was a lot taller than me and I couldn't reach his front so he had to settle with a kiss on his shoulder.

"I know." His smile was timid but ever so sweet. "I'm just thinking that this is exactly the type of house I imagined for her to live in."

It was a small unattached cottage-type house surrounded by trees at the side of a little road and a small gravel pad. The little pad bended repeatedly until it disappeared behind what seemed to be a barn. Oh did I mention that this entire scenery is covered in a beautiful layer of snow? Yeah, pretty fairytaleish, right? I'd move in here in a split second, that much was sure.

"They were pretty lucky to find something like this, that quick, that cheap, in an environment like this" Jasper said as he saw the both of us taking in the perfect little house.

"I'm gonna go inside and inform her about this little situation. Just wait here for a minute," he added and made his way to the dark brown door on the side of the house, stepping out of our sight.

Less than a minute later, we heard a loud shriek and only five seconds later a young, very pregnant woman rounded the corner with a speed that would make a vampire jealous. Edward quickly closed the gap between himself and his sister and let her crash into his arms. Tears glistened in the eyes of the woman who had the same copper brown hair as her brother, only hers flowed in beautiful curls around her pale skin. Yeah, beauty apparently runs in the family. Damn me.

Madelyn shook her head as if she couldn't believe she finally was able to hold her brother again and anyone who was able to keep his eyes dry at this scene was fucking insensible. I swear I even saw Jasper pink away a tear.

Edward and Madelyn held onto each other for dear life as if they could be ripped away from each other at any second. When they finally pulled away both of their cheeks were moist from the tears. And so were mine.

"I was so scared I'd never see you again," she sobbed still clamping her fingers around his arms.

"You can't get rid of weeds that easily," he joked but the limp in this throat was tangible. He quickly diverted his attention to her big round belly. "I'm going to be an uncle?" he managed to utter. Madelyn just nodded which resulted in another round of hugging. Not that I blamed them, of course.

"I think we have a lot of talking to do," Madelyn said, getting out of her brothers embrace and pulling him towards the door. Oh this was going to be awkward. Should I follow? Should I stay outside? Maybe wave to let them know I was still here.

Luckily, Edward had not forgotten about me.

"Wait, I first want you to meet someone," he said and almost dragged his sister towards me. She greeted me with the biggest smile after Edward had introduced me to her as his girlfriend. I don't have to tell you what my heart did the moment 'girlfriend' rolled over Edward his lips right? Yeah, I thought so.

When he realized what he had said I could see him tense for a second. We hadn't quite discussed our label but I was pretty content with whatever Edward had just decided for us. Yup, perfect. Where do I need to sign this contract?

I gave him a genuine smile to let him know I was okay with his word vomit. More than damn okay, but that didn't matter now.

"Can we please go inside?" Alice whined, "My toes are about to freeze off and I'd actually like to keep them attached to my feet."

We quickly entered the little house. Alice wasn't being a big baby, it really was pretty cold outside. The interior of the house was just as beautiful as the outside or maybe even more so. I gasped at the big wooden balks that made sure that the roof didn't fall on our heads. Beautiful didn't even seem enough to describe this house. Damn, why wasn't it mine?

Madelyn kept her eyes on Edward the whole time and it was as if I could hear her mind going 'I can't believe he's here'. She showed us the way to the living room, which of course was just as breathtaking as the rest of the house, and ordered us to sit down while she went to get us something to drink. Five seconds after she had disappeared in the kitchen, she returned, probably just to check if she wasn't dreaming because after a short glance in Edward's direction she went back to the kitchen.

Edward padded the spot next to him on the couch and I was happy to oblige and sat down next to him. He quickly took my hands in his big ones and rubbed little circles with his thumb in my palm while giving me a look that said more than a thousand words were capable off. Gratefulness and god, maybe even love. Please, yes, let it be love.

"Okay, now you're going to explain me every single thing that happened after you stepped out of our parents' house and don't you dare leaving anything out," Madelyn said with a stern look on her face when she took her seat on the couch next to the fireplace and in front of her brother.

For the second time I listened to Edward's little horror story which was his life for the past year and a half. But when he came to our first encounter, I was a lot more concentrated. It was really nice to hear his side of the story and to finally know what had been going on in his mind at those moments. I was surprised that our feelings had been pretty much comparable and I couldn't be happier about it because that might mean that we were at the same page now as well.

When he finished his story with the events of this morning, Madelyn looked at me with teary eyes and unexpectedly pulled me in a hug.

"Thank you so much," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"It was my pleasure," I said truthfully, shrugging my shoulders. Yes, very much my pleasure.

"Bella, you do realize I'm going to be eternally grateful for this, right? Not only did you save my brother's life - thank god - but it's also because of you that I have him back now." Tears started to form in the corners of my eyes once again. God, when did I become so sentimental?

"Your turn now," Edward interfered, looking at his sister with a slightly pained look, probably because he didn't know what to expect.

Madelyn took a deep breath, indicating she was going to start her story and maybe kind of preparing us for whatever might have happened in her life ever since Edward had left.

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><p><em>AN: Thank you, again. Always :)_

_And again, all my love to MidnightSunSC17. She's the best!_

_Review = sneak peek ;) _

_Lots of love, Ellen _


	14. Fierce Madelyn

**Chapter 14: Fierce Madelyn**

EPOV:

How the hell was I going to repay Bella for this? Because of her, well because of her friend Jasper, I found my sister back. There was nothing in the world I could ever give her that would compensate what she had given me, unless she had some lost brother of sister of her own, but of course that wasn't the case.

I couldn't even begin to explain how good it felt to see Madelyn again, to finally be able to put my arms around her like good old times when we were both hurting from the lack of attention from our parents. With her being three years older than me, I had always viewed her as sort of mother. She was always the one snapping at me when I had gotten in trouble once again and she always comforted me when I had reached another low point as well. So yeah, pretty important moment to finally be reunited with her again, if you ask me.

Oh, and did I already mention I was going to be an uncle, in two freaking months? Hell, I didnn't even think my own mind could comprehend it already. Yesterday I didn't have a family, and now I had my sister back, a brother-in-law and a nephew or niece on the way.

Guess luck had finally found its way into my life. In some way I wanted to see Bella as that luck, but I had been lucky to meet her in the first place so something else must have been the cause of this certain change. Or the man up there must have realized I had been through enough misery so he decided to give me a break. Anyway, it didn't matter. All that mattered now was that I was in my sister's living room, preparing myself for whatever had happened to her during the last year.

"The day you left, was the day I left as well," Madelyn started, which already caused me to frown. "What?"

"I was furious that they had the nerve to kick you out when they were never even around to notice you. Of course they didn't accept it that I raised my voice at them." She chuckled at those last words. I guess they must have been shocked, at least. I used to be the one snapping at them, never Madelyn. She was what they call the perfect daughter even though she was as sick of our parents' behaviour as I was.

"I can't believe you spoke up to them," I said, with a hint of pride in my voice.

"No one takes my little brother away from me." My eyes instantly began to tear when those words left her mouth. I tried to wipe away the tear that threatened to fall in a way that no one would notice but when I felt Bella her hand squeezing mine I knew it was useless. And what if they saw me crying? Damn, I could be a little vulnerable at some times, okay?

"What did you say?" I choked out.

"That they had no right to throw you out just like that. I think I've thrown in some words about us having a better relationship with the housekeeping than with them, but I don't even remember the exact words anymore. My anger had taken control of me and I wasn't even thinking about what I was saying." I know from experience that when Madelyn got mad, which didn't happen very often, she could be one feisty bitch, so I guess Elisabeth and Mark had received a nice share of profanities that evening. I grinned at the thought of my sister speaking up to them, to defend me. Damn, I wish I could have been there.

"Of course, they tried to defend themselves, saying that they worked their asses off to give us a life other children could only dream of and that we should appreciate all the efforts they made." A life every child dreams of? They've got to be kidding me? The life I dreamed of was a life where my dad would be home by five to play football with me in the backyard and afterward we would go back inside, tired as hell, only to be surrounded by the smell of mom's fresh baked cookies. Was that too much to ask for?

Hell, I would have understood if they couldn't be home every once in a while due to work, but these people were working every fucking day. Sometimes I wondered if they'd recognize us or even remember our names. Yes, it was that bad.

"I hated them so much when they said those words that I'd just run upstairs and packed my bag. They didn't even follow me so I just gathered some clothes and stuff and that's it," Madelyn continued, "Luckily Peter had just bought an apartment and I was already contemplating moving in with him, so it wasn't such a drastic choice."

"And they just let you go?" I curiously asked. I couldn't comprehend that they would just let their perfect daughter walk out like it was no big deal. Or maybe she had lost all her perfectness when she snapped back.

"I didn't leave right away. I couldn't let Emmett behind without telling him where I was going," Oh right, Emmett. Not that I had forgotten about my little brother, of course I hadn't. "I told him I was going to Peter but he couldn't tell mom and dad about that because I didn't want them to find out where I was."

"Didn't your parents know Peter?" Jasper suddenly interfered.

"Tss," I scoffed, "They didn't even know us, let alone they'd know if we were dating or who we were seeing."

"I didn't know if they knew about him, to be honest," Madelyn went on, "but since they'd never come busting in, I guess they didn't. Anyway, Emmett gave me his word and with the promise that everything would turn out fine, I went back downstairs, left them a note with the words 'You have only one son left. I hope you won't fuck up his life as well' and closed the door behind me. I never went back since then." Madelyn has just said the word 'fuck'? Holy fucking mother of god. She NEVER used the word 'fuck'. NEVER.

The grin on her face was priceless, as if she knew she had done the last thing Elisabeth and Mark would expect her to do. And damn, I couldn't be prouder of her than I was right now. With an enormous smile on my face, I got up from the couch and embraced my sister. "I'm so proud of you."

"And where's Emmett now?" I quickly asked after we had finally let go of each other and I sat down next to Bella again.

"I don't know," she said, defeated again, "I tried to contact him but failed." I could see that hurt her more than she was showing. She probably felt as if she had broken a promise by not finding him, but hell, she wasn't the one to blame for the fact that we had all fallen apart, our parents were.

"I guess we shouldn't have moved out of our apartment that soon," she said, her eyes fixated on her hands that were currently in her lap, "But when we saw the price of this baby here, I just couldn't say no." The corners of her mouth lifted up into a small smile again. Yeah, I understood. This house was gorgeous. It had something magical.

"I didn't know how to inform Emmett about our move but I thought that he would be able to find it out himself but he didn't."

"Madelyn, look at us, we've already found our way back to each other. Sooner or later we'll find Emmett back. Hell, I'd even go on fucking national television if necessary." And I meant it. Once I had my own life back on the rails I'd do whatever it toke me to find my little brother.

"We'll be fine, right?" Madelyn said, and it was more a statement than a question. I nodded.

After that the conversation had taken a more casual tour. Just small talk and some memories. It was nice, just nice.

"Edward, I think I'll have to head back home," Bella suddenly said, "I have to go back to work tomorrow." I glanced at the clock and noticed it was already past eight. Damn, we'd missed lunch and dinner. Didn't anyone notice? I mean, it was pretty normal Madelyn and I had lost track of time, but Jasper, Alice and Bella had been here as well...

And of course now I was thinking about it, my stomach was letting me know it was time get some food down there.

"You should at least stay for a little while longer and eat something," Madelyn said, probably because even she had heard the weird noises coming out of my stomach.

I could see Bella hesitate and I hoped she'd give in because I simply couldn't take another three hour drive without having food in my stomach first.

"Quick then," she said to my greatest relief.

Madelyn excused herself for serving us the leftover of last night, but it was delicious, so I definitely wasn't complaining. I had missed her cooking so much and with the first bite I instantly felt like I was at home again. Even though we'd had housekeeping to make us food, Madelyn had always insisted to prepare our meals whenever she had the time.

Another hour later, when our stomachs were full again, Bella got up from her seat, followed by Jasper and Alice and with a sigh, I managed to get up as well. I didn't want to leave just yet and it was as if Bella had sensed my hesitation. "Edward, I think you should stay another day, if that's fine with Madelyn of course," she said, first looking at me, then at my sister, "I'm sure the two of you have more to catch up about and I don't want to be the one taking you away from her because I have to go to work tomorrow."

I hesitated. I wanted nothing more than to stay here, but I didn't want to let Bella go home on her own. Damn, when did that happen? I couldn't even stand being away from her for a single day and how long have we been dating? Two days? Oh lord, this was getting way to serious.

"I don't mind, at all. You can sleep in the guestroom," Madelyn said, and I could see her eyes brighten at the thought of me staying longer, which didn't help me to make my decision.

After a while I realized that I had to toughen up a bit when it came to Bella, so I decided to let her go home without me. Maybe being away from her for a while would also give me another view on our relationship. Cause that was what we had right? A relationship? I knew I had blurted out the word girlfriend earlier, without even realizing and in a certain way I felt bad about it. We hadn't had time to discuss this and as much as I wished we were already in that stadium I should have thought twice before opening my mouth. The comprehensive look Bella gave me afterwards sort of soothed me and showed me that she didn't mind but maybe she had just said that because it wasn't the time to talk about it then. Maybe she wasn't comfortable at all with this whole situation and maybe she already felt like I was pressuring her into something.

Yeah, maybe some distance was exactly what we needed.

"I guess I could stay another day," I shrugged in an attempt to look casual.

"I can drive you back to Seattle whenever you want," Madelyn replied with the biggest smile on her face.

Alice and Jasper were already making their way outside when I quickly grabbed Bella's arm to pull her back. I might be convinced that some space would be good for us, but I wasn't going to let her leave without a proper goodbye, even if it was just a goodbye for one day.

"Ehm, so, I'll see you when you're back home, right?" Bella mumbled. Instead of answering I pulled her closer and let my chin rest on her head. Her arms tightened around my waste and I could already feel my resolve crumbling. Maybe I should go with her instead...

Dammit, Edward, NO! Distance!

She let go of me and gave me a genuine smile as if she was saying that we would be alright and that she understood my decision to stay another day.

I reached out and tucked a straind of her hair behind her ear before inching closer and capturing her lips between mine. She tasted even better than she smelled and I never wanted this kiss to end. Her lips were so soft and perfect against mine, like they were made for each other.

Oh damn, I sounded like a character from a cheesy romantic novel. Oh well, whatever.

When our lips parted I instantly missed the contact. "Take your time here," Bella said, but I could see the reluctance in her eyes. It wasn't hard to tell that she didn't want to say those words, but felt like she had too. Was it wrong for me to feel happy about that? I had no idea whatsoever how she felt about me, so I was more than pleased when I noticed she didn't want to be away from me longer than necessary. I mean, that was what her beautiful brown eyes were telling me. Her now sad beautiful, brown eyes. It was almost enough to make me reconsider this whole staying behind for the umpteenth time.

With another peck on her lips, I let her go to the car where Jasper and Alice were - not so patiently anymore - waiting for her. I tried to ignore the weird feeling in my chest as I watched the car disappear.

When I got back inside I was overwhelmed by a sense of discomfort. For the entire day the conversation had been between Madelyn and me, but I guess now all the others were gone and we only had each other to talk too, we were obligated to talk to each other which led to the fact that we had nothing to say anymore.

Crazy, right? I know.

I didn't understand this sudden change and my sister's features told me that she didn't understand it as well. Maybe we had talked about everything already and small talk never really worked for both of us.

"Bella seems like a nice girl," Madelyn said, finally breaking our awkward silent. I shrugged at her cliché attempt but couldn't disagree with her, of course. "Yeah, she is."

"And she has such a big heart. I mean, she let you in, without asking anything in return," she rambled, not really speaking to me anymore.

"She's too good for this world," I whispered. Damn, she really is. Too fucking good. Who else would do something selfless like that?

Yeah, exactly, nobody.

How on Earth did I deserve to meet her? Or even be with her? I wasn't even close to being good enough for her.

"Oh, the little one wants me to go to sleep" Madelyn said, snapping me out of my thoughts. Her hands were on her belly and she couldn't stop smiling. The idea of my little nephew or niece protesting in there instantly brought back my happy mood.

I followed my wobbling sister towards the guestroom and before we said our goodnights, she suddenly wrapped her arms around me again. "I still can't believe you're back," she mumbled. "Neither do I, believe me, neither do I," I replied pulling her a little closer, careful to do the little one any harm.

"Goodnight little brother," she said, taking a step back. She looked so happy and I must have looked exactly the same.

"Goodnight big sister."

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><p><em>AN: Lame ending, I know. Sorry. But still, thank you guys!_

_Chapter 15 will be up soon, because I've already finished it as well ;) (Yay me!)  
><em>

_Forever thanking MidnightSunSC17 as well :D She's the best and you should all be jealous because she's mine.  
><em>

_And you know the formula: Review = sneak peek!_

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	15. Nothing

_A/N If you're asking for a sneak peek, please make sure you're private messages are open. Otherwise I can't send you your teaser :) Or give me another way to contact you :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 15: Nothing<strong>

BPOV:

Was it just me or was my apartment so much emptier without Edward around? It definitely felt that way. Like something was missing... like someone had taken away an object the size of a cupboard or another enormous thing. Yeah, I did check my entire apartment for any trace of a burglary, but of course, nothing was gone.

Except for Edward.

To say that I missed him was most definitely an understatement.

Not that I regretted proposing to him to stay another day with his sister, not at all, because I was pretty sure that was exactly what he needed, but still...

The minute I was back home, I felt the loneliness again. The loneliness I had hated so much ever since I had lived alone and I desperately tried to avoid by visiting my dad as much as possible. I immediately realized that with Edward around, I had never had that feeling, not even for a split second. I had actually felt happy since he had moved in and didn't mind being in what I used to call 'this hell hole' whenever he was around.

See how things can change. I snorted at my own thoughts.

Still, I couldn't wait until he would be back. I had only just returned from work and it had been a hectic day. Of course if you take an entire week off, you can expect a whole lot of work when you come back. Not that I was complaining. At least it could take my mind off of the fact that I missed Edward.

Right before I left Black Company, I had gotten a text from an unknown number. There was no need to panic, of course. It's was Edward who had used his sister's cellphone to announce that he was just leaving her place. It was only then that I realized that it might be a good idea to buy Edward a phone as well, you never know when he needed to call me or someone else...

On my way back home, I made a detour to buy him his own cell phone to make sure that little inconvenience was covered as well.

So now it was only two more hours until he'd be back.

Yes, I was counting down. And with reason because in two little hours, this place wouldn't be lonely anymore.

A knock on the door was all it took for me to fly towards it. Figure of speech, obviously. I tried to run to get there as fast as I could, but of course, I ended up tripping and stumbled the rest of the way.

When I finally managed to open the door, I was quickly pulled into an embrace and surrounded by my new favourite smell in the world. Edward.

"I missed you," he mumbled against the crook of my neck while I tightened my grip around his. I couldn't stop myself from giggling at this. "I missed you too," I said truthfully.

Yeah, we were acting like we hadn't seen each other in months while in fact it had only been a day. But then again, it had felt like it'd been months, so whatever.

He pressed his lips against mine with an amount of force I had never experienced before. It was raw but passionate and damn it made me feel alive.

His body was flush with mine as he pushed me backwards in my apartment again, closing the door behind him with his foot and his lips never leaving mine. His fingers were dipping underneath my top and brushing over my stomach. I moaned at the contact and Edward must have seen it as an encouragement to take it to a new level, because his fingers moved towards my breasts.

"Edward," I managed to say, his assault on my lips hadn't stopped yet. I had softly removed his hands from under my top and was now staring at him.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a prude. Far from that to be honest. But I'm no slut either. I've been with a few men but that never worked out on the long term.

Anyway, not that this mattered now.

I just didn't want to go too fast with Edward because whatever we already had at this moment, felt right. And good things come to those who wait, right? Well, according to me, three days of dating wasn't quite a long wait, especially when you've already spent a day apart from each other. So don't judge when I thought it was a little early to move to the next step.

"Sorry, I got caught up in the moment," he said, unable to hide a little smirk, but I could still tell it wasn't some half-hearted apology. He meant it. "I know," I told him.

The crooked smile that brightened his face only a second later almost made me wish I hadn't stopped him.

Almost.

He dropped his head on my shoulder, never releasing his hold on me and neither did I. It felt too good to be wrapped up in his arms to just let go of it.

"How was your day?" I asked, still not moving.

"Good. We hadn't had much to talk about thought but we've caught up on some memories from when we were little," he said, "Yours?"

"Busy. Really busy. I didn't even have time to miss you," I shrugged.

He quickly let go of me and gave me a pout, "You didn't miss me?"

"Of course I did, silly," I laughed, slapping his chest, "I just didn't have that much time to think about it."

"Good," he replied and pulled me to the couch.

"Oh wait, I have something for you," I said before sitting down. I didn't pay attention to the weird look Edward gave me and just opened the cupboard where I had hidden his new cell phone. At first I had thought about wrapping it and making it a present, but I was pretty sure that he would have protested for the entire evening if I did, so I had decided to just give it and let him choose whether it was a gift or not.

"Bella," he complained instantly when he noticed what it was.

"Hey, you need a cell phone, right? You can't keep using other people's phones. So there you go," I defended myself pushing the box back in his hands.

"I'm going to pay this back, you know," he said, giving me a stern look. Didn't I tell you?

"Yeah, I thought you would protest about this...," I sighed.

"Oh, you do know me," he smirked.

"I guess I do."

"Thank you," he finally said and put the box on the side table.

We spend the remaining part of the evening wrapped up in a blanket and each other's arms and watched reruns of Friends. Everything felt right again. The loneliness was completely gone. Yeah, I could easily get used to this.

The next morning, I woke up again by the sound of my name followed by a soft nudge.

"Bella." Edward's voice; a little louder this time.

I turned around to find him propped up on one elbow looking at me with a confused face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a little worried.

"Why do you care?" His voice was no louder than a whisper as if he was pronouncing something that was forbidden.

"What?" Saying that I was confused would be an understatement.

"Why do you care about me?" he finally said and his voice broke countless times when he muttered those six little words.

I rolled over and cupped his face with my hand. "What the hell are you saying?"

"Why did you let me in? Why did you ask me to stay? Why do you want to change my life so desperately?" Damn, Edward, what's up with all the 'why's'? Easy there.

"Because that's what any normal person would do," I answered, still a little confused because of his sudden questions.

"It's not. You're the only one who would do such a thing and you know that."

"Why does it matter?" I said, not liking the course this conversation was taking.

"I just don't see the point in why you're doing it," he sighed, letting his head fall back into the pillow.

"What would you do, if someone who had nothing was in front of your door, completely frozen and beaten up and had nowhere else to go? You'd take them in as well, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about getting me a job and letting me live here until I can afford my own apartment."

"Isn't that what friends do?" I asked, holding up my arm to show him the bracelet he had given me almost a week ago now.

"I'm not good enough to be your friend," he mumbled, clearly not wanting me to understand but unfortunately for him I did.

"And what the hell do you mean with that?" I asked, my voice more forceful now.

"You're too good to be with me, that's what I mean," he said and this time his voice didn't miss a single beat. He truly believed what he was saying, but of course, I wasn't having that.

"You really think that?"

"Dammit, Bella, don't you see it? I'm nothing. I - AM - NOTHING. And you... you're everything," he replied angrily. I was startled by his sudden outburst and almost fell back in the covers. "You have the biggest heart, you're kind, you give people who don't deserve it a chance and you ... fuck, you're just amazing," he continued.

"Shouldn't you consider yourself lucky then that I'm right here with you?" I snapped.

"Yeah, I should. But I can't. I can't let you give up so much to save me. Maybe I can't be saved anymore. Maybe I've fucked up too many times to deserve another chance in life."

"You can't say stuff like that," I spat back at him.

"Why not? It's the fucking truth!"

"It's not, Edward, it's not. You aren't nothing." I said, my voice back to normal again. I figured that shouting back at him wasn't the way to end this argument.

"Okay, then prove me the opposite," he challenged.

"Whatever you said about me, counts for you as well. You're heart is just as big and you're amazing as well," I said, putting my hand on his chest where his heart was to emphasize my words. But he didn't want that. He removed my hand from his body and got out of bed, agitatedly pulling at his hair.

"And what if I did? What on Earth am I with a big heart? I can't give anything to anyone because I have nothing myself," he said, his voice still holding a certain amount of anger.

"You can give friendship and love..." I said silently, "That's all _I_ am asking for."

"It's not enough." His eyes were suddenly full of sadness and it broke my heart into a million pieces. Didn't he understand that love was the most precious thing you can give someone? In the end nobody really cares about material stuff - at least not normal people - , all they want is to be loved.  
>I stepped out of bed as well and made my way over to him. The second I raised my hands to hold him, he stopped me. "Bella," he almost begged me, "Don't. Please."<p>

Remember what I said about my heart breaking just a minute ago? Well, now it was nothing more than a pile of dust. He looked defeated. And the worst thing was that it was over something so stupid it wasn't even worth it.

"I... I... fuck," he muttered and stalked towards the living room. This time I didn't go after him. I figured out that he might need some time to realize that whatever he was saying and thinking was completely insane.

How could he even think that he was nothing? He had easily become my everything in about a week and he still considered himself useless.

As if I couldn't hate his parents more, I managed to do it in that second because whatever he was thinking now was their fucking fault. Edward never told me it was, but I knew. They never showed him the importance of love. Money was their first concern, hell, it was their only concern.

And now, after they had thrown him out, they left him with the feeling that he was nothing, just because he didn't own a shitload of money. How fucked up is that?

After an hour I decided to go check on Edward. I figured that he'd had enough time to be alone with his mind now and it would be good to start this conversation again with clear thoughts.

"Edward," I carefully said when I walked into the living room. I was surprised to find the lights switched off. Had he been here in the dark all the time? Yeah, that'd be typical of him.

When I found the couch empty my heart started racing at top speed. I immediately turned around to overlook the entire room. Where the hell did he go?

It was only when I noticed that his backpack wasn't next to the cough anymore and his key of my apartment was on the side table that I realized I wouldn't find him here. He had left. And the key was an indication that he wasn't planning on coming back.

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><p><em>AN:_

_Thank you, again. Always._

_And welcome to all the new readers :D I've recently received a lot of new alerts, so thank you and I hope you enjoy this story as well_

_Again: special thanks to MidnightSunSC17 for everything._

_And again (a lot of agains this time :'D) REVIEW = TEASER_

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	16. Shattered heart

_A/N: A lot of people wonder why Edward suddenly left, but his motives will be revealed in chapter 17 ;)_

_I can't thank you guys enough for the response I get from you. It's overwhelming and I'm glad you're willing to stick with me :)_

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><p><strong>Chapter 16: Shattered heart<strong>

This couldn't be happening. No, no no no, please no.

There must be a simple explanation for this. Like he just wanted to go outside to get some air and he had forgotten his key by accident. Could happen right?

But that didn't explain why he took his backpack with him... And all of his other belongings... And why the box of his phone was still untouched on the side table...

I kept staring at the door, hoping that it would open again and he would enter just like nothing had happened and that I was wrong about all this.

But the more time passed the more I realized that he had really left. You might think that I was jumping to conclusions too fast about this, but I just had that feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me that he really was gone.

And you know what hurt the most? He left without giving me a proper explanation or even a simple goodbye. He just left. Just like that. Like I was nothing instead of everything he had just said I was.

Maybe I am nothing...

Suddenly it all dawned on me. Alice had been right, she had been right all the time and I had been fucking blind. He took advantage of me in the most horrible way. I trusted him and now he had just left me like a piece of trash.

I mean, wasn't it obvious? He had found his sister back, so now there was no need for him to stay around here. How could I have been so stupid? Yeah, like some Hugo Boss model would even fall for me anyway. Open your eyes, Bella, this is the real world and not some fairytale.

Without even realizing I was curled up on the floor and tears were streaming down my face. I felt weak for behaving like this but I didn't care about it at the moment. He had hurt me and he probably didn't even care.

For the first time I wasn't joking about heartbreaks anymore.

Yeah, I used to do that all the time. I couldn't understand that people were actually having physical pain in their chest when someone they loved had left them, but now I was never going to question that again.

Getting your heart broken hurts. There is a constant ache in your chest and all you want to do is curl up and never get up again.

I don't know how long I stayed on the floor before I forced myself to go back to my bedroom. I needed Alice. She would probably have some bad words on him and as cruel as it seemed, that was exactly what I needed right now. Not someone who would rub my back and say that in the end everything would be alright and that it was all his loss and all that shit.

No I was in need of someone who would tell me that men were stupid and shouldn't be trusted, and definitely not a type like Edward. A type that seduces you with their looks to get what they want and then let you down without a single warning.

I pressed the speed dial button and after three seconds Alice's sing-song voice answered. I was about to tell her the entire story of what happened tonight but I couldn't say a single word. Not even a sound escaped my mouth.

There was nothing. Just silence.

Alice kept asking if I was present and after a while I could hear the concern in her voice. I also heard her addressing Jasper because I wasn't saying anything and that she wondered if something might be wrong.

Yes, Alice, something is wrong. Everything is wrong. Every fucking thing.

It's like nothing can ever go right my life.

That realisation hit me hard and all of the sudden I was sobbing again. Alice's voice sounded even more panickednow. She kept asking me to answer her but other than loud sobs, nothing left my mouth.

"Bella, where are you? Are you in your apartment? Dammit, Jasper, she doesn't answer. We should go check. Bella, stay exactly where you are, I'm on my way," Alice kept rambling in the phone.

Yeah, staying where I was seemed like the perfect plan. Where else should I go? It wasn't like I had any other friends and the only other place I could go was my dad's, so yeah...

God, I'm pathetic.

It didn't take long for Alice and Jasper to arrive. The looks on their faces were filled with worry as they slammed the door shut behind them.

Alice was instantly by my side trying to make me get up from the floor. I couldn't. It was as if I was afraid to get out of my position, afraid of really falling to pieces.

"Bella, talk to me... What happened?" Alice's voice was filled with worry.

_He's gone. He's gone. He's gone. He's gone._

The same sentence was going through my mind over and over again like it was still trying to comprehend this whole situation. I couldn't. I wish I could just close my eyes and when I opened them, Edward's arms would be wrapped around me instead of Alice's. But as many times as I blinked, everything stayed the same.

_He's gone._

"Edward has left?" Alice asked surprised, her eyes almost bulging out of her head.

Oh, I had actually said those words out loud, hadn't I?

"Don't, Alice," I managed to ventilate. I knew what was coming and only five minutes ago, I thought I would be prepared to hear it, but I wasn't. I wasn't ready to hear Alice saying that she had been right, that I should have known that in the end Edward would hurt me, that his motives were self-centred and that I had been stupid to let him in that easily.

"I won't," she softly replied, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. My blood-shot eyes snapped up at her and I couldn't help frowning.

Alice who didn't claim her victory? That'd be a first.

"Don't look at me like that," she said, compassion still plastered all over her face.

"Why aren't you giving me a hard time right now like you always do? You were right; shouldn't you rub it in my face?" I didn't know why it bothered me that she didn't give me another lecture. I should be happy right? Happy that she was comforting me instead of yelling at me, even though before I called her I had wished it would be the other way around...

"Because I can't believe he left as well. I thought he meant well..." Who are you and what have you done to Alice?

"Bella, I know I have been reluctant at first, but you were right, I didn't know him. And by taking the time to get to know him better, I realized I had been wrong. He's a good guy – or well, at least, he was. Hmpf, I don't know," she rambled, throwing her hands around at the last words.

"There must be a reason why he left. I most definitely can't believe he has just left because he didn't need you anymore. He's a Cullen, they don't act like that," Jasper suddenly interfered, crouching besides me. I had almost forgotten he was in the room as well. "Is there any reason why he could have left?"

"We, euhm, we had a disagreement," I whispered and shortly explained them what had been said between Edward and me tonight while desperately trying not to break into tears again.

"He only left because he felt inferior to you, Bella, don't you see it? We only need to find him and get you two in a room to talk." Alice said, a huge smile creeping across her face because she thought she had found the missing link in this whole situation.

If it were only that easy...

If Edward wanted to talk, he would have stayed instead of leaving but he didn't.

"Those were all excuses," I argued. And I really believed it.

He must have been planning this ever since I've left at his sister's house. Hell, he probably had already been planning it the minute he knew he would be reunited with her. He didn't need me anymore so all he needed was an easy way out.

At least he could have had the dignity to tell me. I would have let him go, because that's what I do. I let people go, even if it hurts myself, only in order to keep the other happy.

"You really think so?" Jasper asked, looking at me like I'd gone insane. I nodded.

"Didn't you see the look on his face when he introduced you to Madelyn as his girlfriend? He looked at you like you were his entire world," he continued, "Do you really think that if a man wears that face he'd let go of his girl so easily?"

Last time I checked, I was still a woman, so I wouldn't know.

Yeah yeah, I got his point. But maybe that's the way Jasper thinks and who says that's how Edward's mind works?

"We need to find him," Alice suddenly said, getting up from the floor where we were all currently sitting, "He can't be far."

"I'll check the neighbourhood, you stay with Bella," Jasper ordered and was already at the door when I realized what was happening.

"No," I yelled, "Jasper, don't."

"And why not?"

"Because he doesn't want me anymore," I whispered my voice breaking in every place possible.

"Bullshit." And with that Jasper slammed the door behind him.

* * *

><p>It had been a week. A week since I had my heart shattered into a gazillion pieces. A week since Edward had stepped out of my life without any indication or explanation. A week since Alice and Jasper had set up an entire search in order to find him again.<p>

They were practically going over every street in Seattle, hoping to come across my beautiful green-eyed man. Well, not mine anymore, of course.

I bet they had a map on their dining table right now and were crossing out the streets they'd already done. Like that would help. He wasn't a statue, he probably moved, so finding him was like searching for one drop of water in an entire ocean.

Okay, I'm exaggerating but you get my point, right?

I had blurted out the next day that he'd most definitely would be already on his way to Madelyn so their search was useless but that had led to them calling Madelyn and demanding her to call whenever she heard anything from him.

They had stayed with her on the phone for well over an hour but I couldn't be bothered what the conversation was about. I simply didn't care.

Needles to say that I wasn't helping them to find Edward. He wanted to leave and that was his choice. What if they found him and all that resulted from it was him saying that he didn't want me anymore?

The thought only made me sick in my stomach.

And that's how I have been feeling for the entire week now. Sick, devastated and completely broken. And that only because of a man I only knew a week and a half and dated for four days. How on Earth was it possible that I felt like my entire world had left the day Edward closed my front door behind him?

Simple.

I loved him.

Whenever he was around I had avoided thinking about whatever I was feeling just because it didn't matter. I was happy and that was enough. I think a part of me already knew that I loved him then, even if it seemed impossible to have such strong feelings in such a short amount of time.

I found myself curled up in my bed once again, just like I had been every moment this week, unless I had to go to work.

But even at work I was a mess. I couldn't concentrate and everyone around me had noticed. A few of them asked me about it but I just waved it off as nonchalant as possible. But I failed.

I truly hated myself for being this weak. How could I guy I hardly know have such a huge impact on my life?

Right, I loved him.

But I hated him just as fiercely.

I hated him for accepting my ride.

I hated him for making me feel special.

I hated him for leaving.

I hated him for breaking my heart.

That stupid Rihanna song from a few years ago suddenly made more sense to me; 'I hate that I love you.' Exactly.

Stupid perfect man.

"Bella," Alice her voice chimed through my apartment. Oh yes, about that...

That pixie almost lived here if you asked me. I know she meant well and she's my best friend but I kind of hated that she refused to leave me alone. Yeah, well, I might be a little depressed but it's not like I was planning on killing myself or something like that. I'd never hurt Charlie that way. But still, she never left my side.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," she almost sang as she came into my room. With a grunt I threw the covers over my head indicating I didn't want to know what the cause of her enthusiasm was.

"Come on, Bella, you have to get out of your bed again," she complained.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do," she said, pulling my arm to get me out of my bed. I struggled against her grip.

"Bella, why are you so against us searching for him?" Alice said, totally out of the blue.

Again _that_ question. I've answered it every day for the past week and still she kept asking.

"Because I don't care," I said and it wasn't a complete lie. I didn't care if they were spending all their time in a lost cause but I couldn't lie about the fact that I still cared about Edward. As much as I wished that he had taken those feelings away with him when he left, I was relieved that they were still present. They made me feel human.

For so long I thought I was incapable of loving anyone except my family and friends, but Edward had proved me of the opposite.

"You do care, Bella," Alice said, concern and sadness all over her face again, "The fact that you only get out of bed to go to work says so."

"What if you find him and he says he wants nothing to do with me anymore, how do you think that'll make me feel?" I whispered. It was the first time I voiced this and I only did it because I hope that would make her realize that whatever they were doing was stupid.

"But what if he does still want you?"

"Then he'll come back himself," I stated. He would, wouldn't he?

"Bella, you need to talk to him, and we're going to make sure that happens," Alice said determined and got up from my bed. I rolled my eyes at her and let my head fall back into my cushion.

"Sweetie, I really can't believe you think that Edward doesn't care about you," she said with a sigh before leaving my room.

Who would have thought that Alice would be the one convincing _me _about this?

A tear slipped out of the corner of my eye again. I really wanted to believe her. I really did. But I didn't want to end up getting hurt again.

By acting the way I was, I was bracing myself for further pain, but of course I couldn't keep myself from hoping that she was right, that Jasper was right.

I would be lying if I denied that I had already dreamed about a lovely, romantic reunion which included Edward in front of my door, carrying a dozen of roses while he was apologizing profusely for the mistake he had made my leaving me.

But up until now I could only dream about it...

"OH. MY. GOD. BELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA." What now? Jesus, when the hell was Alice going to leave me alone for one fucking second. She stormed into my room for the umpteenth time today and I finally had enough of her interventions.

"If you leave me alone now, I might consider getting up tomorrow," I deliberated, hoping she would agree to this.

"No, read this!" she said with a stern but enthusiastic face while she pushed her mobile phone in my hands.

"Not interested," I mumbled and pushed the phone away from me. I really wasn't in the mood to read one of Jasper's cheesy love texts while I was lying in my bed, heartbroken.

"Bella, you might want to read this," she said serious now, "it's from Madelyn."

My eyes directly shifted towards Alice as she handed me the phone back. My hands were actually trembling as I took the little object out of her hands to read the display.

'_Edward here, looks devastated'_

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><p><em>AN: Thank you, once again!_

_MidnightSunSC17 is the best! That's all!_

_Oh and I'm very happy to announce you that in a few days/ weeks I'll post a one-shot. It's an idea I've had for a while now and I finally found to courage to write it down :)_

_If you're interested to read it; put me on author alert or check my page _

_Reviews make me happy and can make you happy as well because you'll receive a sneak peek of the next chapter (which is EPOV ;'D)_

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	17. Falling to pieces

**CHAPTER 17: Falling to pieces**

EPOV:

I had to leave. I just had to.

I knew I should have done it differently, by saying a goodbye and giving her an explanation, but I couldn't. I couldn't tell her that I was leaving because she would ask me to stay once again, because she was such a good person, and I, I would fall for it again. One look in her big brown eyes and I would have stayed.

And I couldn't stay. I had been a burden for too long.

I had taken advantage of her kindness for too long. Even though I loved her, and I really did, it was wrong.

I had decided to set her free the moment Madelyn had once again reminded me of how amazing she was for doing this, for spending the money she worked for on _me_. I didn't deserve that. I didn't deserve to be someone to spend money on.

I was nothing. I was a vagabond. I was used to living on the streets, I'd been doing that for more than a year now, and look, I was still alive.

I could do it again. I could go back to living outside.

With that thought in my mind, I went back to Bella's apartment. I would just go in, take my backpack, leave everything she had given me behind, say a quick goodbye and leave.

Things had turn out quite different.

The minute I heard her stumbling to the door and open it with the biggest smile on her face I couldn't go through with my plan. One look of those brown doe eyes and I was done for it. I had to touch her, hold her, kiss her. It took every ounce of my control not to burst into tears, fall down at her feet and apologize for something I hadn't done.

I had blurted out that I missed her, and I really had and when she told me she had missed me too I melted. I wanted to feel every inch of her body against mine and even more if that was possible.

I couldn't leave. I just couldn't. I was completely at her mercy and she probably wasn't even aware of it. I hated myself for being so weak, I hated myself for loving her. I hated myself for not being able to step away from her when I had to.

And then she had given me the cell phone. She once again reminded me of the fact that she paid every single thing for me. I thanked her, because I was truly thankful for everything she did, but I needed some answers. I needed to know why she did this. There had to be a reason for her selflessness.

For the remaining part of the evening I enjoyed the feeling of having her wrapped up in my arms, realizing it would be the last time.

After we had gone to sleep I had wanted my answers but I was too damn afraid to ask. Too damn afraid for what she would say even though I had made up my mind a few hours ago.

When I'd finally had the courage to ask her, her answers didn't suffice to let me stay. She cared for me but it wasn't enough. I didn't want to be cared for, because I had nothing to give her in return. Hell, even my love wasn't enough to give back.

When she tried to get closer to me, I had pushed her away. There was nothing I wanted more then to hold her, but we all knew how that would have resulted, so I kept my distance.

I hardly listened to whatever she was saying and kept going over everything I had thought about the last days instead.

Without an explanation I had bolted to the living room and she didn't follow me.

I knew that that was my only chance to set her free and I had taken the opportunity.

I left.

Without looking back I had closed the door behind me. The minute I was outside I had bawled like a child. I had felt a constant pain in my chest as I walked away from her apartment and that was when I realized I had left my heart with her.

* * *

><p>I had been hanging around her apartment for three days now. I wanted to leave. I really wanted to, but I couldn't. It was fucking freezing outside but I didn't care. I could handle the pain the cold brought me. The pain in my chest on the contrary...<p>

I knew Jasper and Alice were looking for me, but they weren't smart enough to look in the little alley across her house. Stupid, but then again, I was relieved because I didn't want to be found.

And apparently, she didn't want that either.

Even though her friends were on a quest, she wasn't. I'd only seen her leave her house to go to work and the way she looked when she stepped outside was killing me. She looked so broken and knowing that it was all my fault broke my fucking heart over and over again.

I knew that eventually she would forget about me, of course she would. The only reason she was sad right now was because I had left her without an explanation whatsoever. I dreaded the day I'd see her walk out with a smile and the more I thought about that, the more I realized that I had to leave Seattle.

So I did.

I left.

Away from the place where I had been happier than I ever thought possible. Away from Bella.

I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to go to Madelyn because I knew that the minute I arrived there she would contact Bella and that was the last thing I wanted. So I just ended up wandering the streets once again, like old times.

Only it wasn't exactly like before. Memories of Bella flooded my mind more than once and as hard as I tried to push them away, they kept coming. I guess that was my punishment for turning her life upside down. And I would take it, as long as that meant Bella was free.

I would take everything for that to happen. Even this piercing cold.

And damn, it hurt. Even more than ever.

They obviously weren't lying when they said that it was one of the coldest winters in history.

I was glad that I had allowed myself to keep one of Bella's gifts; the sweater. Without it I'd probably be dead now. But in a way, I already was.

Another three days passed ever so slowly and I felt myself still trying to adapt to living on the streets again, and for the first time I was failing. I hadn't eaten in two days and the cold was making me weaker. If it wasn't enough that I couldn't sleep because Bella would be plaguing my mind, the icy temperatures made it impossible as well.

I ached for the warmth of a bed or a couch. Or Bella.

Completely worn out and broken I had made my decision. I would go back to Madelyn because she was still my sister and I owed her that much. Oh and I was freezing so a warm place to stay sounded really tempting as well.

I figured that Jasper and his troops must have already stopped looking for me so I guessed it was safe to go back to Vancouver.

For the first time ever I had hitchhiked. Not only because I desperately wanted to talk to my sister but to avoid the cold as well. I was lucky to be picked up by a truck driver after an hour of being on the side of the road like a total idiot. He had driven me to the border of Vancouver and after another thanks I had watched as the kind man and his truck disappeared out of sight.

Because I only knew an address, I had to break another one of my strict rules I had made when I first started being a vagabond. I had forbidden myself to ever talk to people, because that mostly only led to bad things, like a weird look that could make you feel even shittier, but now I had no other choice if I wanted to find where my sister lived.

After asking five people who didn't know the place I had started to lose hope. Why couldn't she have bought a little apartment on a main street? No, it had to be an adorable cottage in a street no one had ever heard of... Fuck my life.

I was about to give up when I found a map of Vancouver on the backside of a advertising hording. It took me about twenty minutes to find Madelyn's street on the map and another fifteen minutes to memorize how to get there.

Halfway I started wondering if I was making the right choice by going back already. It had only been a week since I'd left Bella's apartment... What if they were still looking for me?

But an icy gust of wind made me realize that I didn't have a choice. Except for dying and surviving. Yeah, that choice was easily made, right?

I let go a sigh of relief when Madelyn's house appeared in sight. I had to resist the urge to run.

Terrified of how she would react, I rang the doorbell.

The look on her face when she finally opened the door could only be described as relief. And the fact that she instantly pulled me into a big hug said enough as well.

"Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea how worried we've been?" she almost yelled while pushing me inside, "You're freezing, god, Edward, are you out of your mind?"

"Please don't tell her I'm here," I whispered, the first thing that shot through my mind. I didn't have to elaborate on the person I was referring too.

"Edward, she has the right to know," Madelyn argued as she gave me a blanket to wrap around me.

"No, she doesn't need to know. She's better off without me," I sighed in defeat.

"Is that why you left? Because she's better off without you?"

I nodded, diverting my eyes to my hands in my lap.

"You idiot," she mumbled and that instantly caught my attention again.

"You think I did a wrong thing setting her free? Dammit, Madelyn, she was too good for me, can't you see?" She's good, she's pure, she's so much better than I am and she most definitely shouldn't be wasting her time on me," I spat at her. I wanted her to realize that I was only doing this for Bella's sake. For once I wanted to do something good and she wasn't going to make me fail.

"So you really believe you're nothing?" she asked and that was when I knew she indeed had had contact with Bella. I'd never told her that I felt that way about myself, I had only told Bella.

"Can you blame me? I mean, look at me!"

"I am. And I see a beautiful man who gave up on his own happiness because he thought that's what's best but it's not Edward, it's not."

"It _is_ the best. Bella deserves someone way better than me."

"Oh, and what is better than someone who truly loves her? And don't deny it, because I know you do." I could see the challenging look in Madelyn her face and I knew she was up to something. I didn't like it. At all.

"You don't know," I whispered, hoping she would see through the lie.

"Edward, I'm not blind. I could see the way you looked at her when you were here. I've seen the look on your face when she left and your appearance right now is enough to tell that you're devastated. Don't you try to deny it, because I can see right through you!"

I hung my head in defeat. I couldn't deny it even if I wanted to. Hell, I couldn't even think about saying that I didn't love her.

"So now you're saying that you'll allow her to date any other man because according to you everyone else is better than you are."

"Not everyone. Just someone who can at least provide her what she needs."

"Hasn't it come to your mind that maybe all she need is to be loved?"

"Someone else can love her as well," I mumbled. I didn't like the idea of someone else taking my place, but if that made Bella happy, then so it be.

"Okay, imagine: a random rich dude falls in love with her, and Bella loves him as well," she started. I made a move to interrupt but she instantly stopped me. "But he's never home. Ever. Always working. Do you think that he would be better for her than you are?"

I didn't know what to say but the image of Bella being alone in a big house, with no one around to keep her company made my heart clench.

"Or what about someone who doesn't really love her, but only loves the idea of her?"

It was as if every comment Madelyn made put a dagger in my heart. And twisted it around. Multiple times.

"What if that man yelled at her every day?"

Another blow.

"Beat her? Hurt her?"

I couldn't take it anymore. Madelyn knew exactly what she was doing and fuck her because she was succeeding.

I clutched my arms around my chest to keep myself from falling apart. Sobs escaped my mouth as I couldn't stop myself from visualising the things my sister had just put into words. The idea of Bella lying on the ground, beaten up by a man broke me. Nobody deserved to be treated like that, and most definitely not Bella.

"Edward, I'm not saying this to hurt you. I'm just trying to make you realize you're not bad at all. You're a good man. And you're good for Bella, because you love her."

"There can be another man who loves her just as much as I love her, and who's much better for her than I am," I whispered, trying to keep believing what I was saying. I wasn't. I wanted to believe I was good for Bella. I wanted to see a future with her.

Images of Bella and me in front of a new house, with our children flooded my mind and were able to push away all of the bad visuals. But they did nothing to diminish the seething pain in my chest.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Allow yourself to be happy. If Bella didn't think you were good for her, she wouldn't have let you in in the first place."

Dammit, Madelyn, why do you have to be right all the time?

"If you can tell me, without missing a beat, that you don't love her, I'm going to stop arguing with you," she stated and again, she had me. I could try to say the words, but I would stumble because I was a terrible liar. Always had been. Especially to my sister.

"There you go," she said, content when I didn't reply.

"How can I be good enough for her?" I whispered. I might be convinced that I couldn't fight whatever I was feeling and that maybe I had jumped to conclusions a little too soon, but that still didn't take away the fact that I strongly believed I was nothing in comparison to her. There was no way she could've change my mind about that.

"Love her like there is no tomorrow. Tell her that you love her at every moment. Make her feel special. Tell her she's special."

Easy enough. I only had to tell her the truth.

"So, you want me to call her?" Madelyn asked me with a hopeful look on her face.

"Can you wait for a moment? I need some air and maybe some time to think about this," I said.

"No, Edward, I'm not letting you leave. You're going to run away again and you don't want a pregnant woman running after you, do you? Or worse, risk your niece or nephew's life?"

"I'm not running away, Madelyn, I promise. I just need sime time to figure some things out." And that was nothing but the truth. I wanted to think about this.

Could I go back to Bella this easily? Would she want me back? And of course, still that little voice in the back of my head; Was I good enough for her?

"Can't you do it in here?" she pleaded.

"Please." Didn't she understand that I didn't want anyone around? I just wanted to be alone for a while.

"Edward, I swear, if you take off again, you'll wish you were never born." Oh dear, she meant it.

"Maybe I already do," I whispered softly and that earned me a slap on the head.

"Don't say stuff like that," Madelyn warned me.

"But I'll be back, no worries," I sighed.

"Promise?" she asked, once again looking for confirmation.

"Promise."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you, for all your support _

_If you didn't know it by now; MidnightSunSC17 is amazing! _

_Review = sneak peek!_

_(Wondering if I could reach 200 reviews before posting the next chapter *-* That'd be awesome :D)  
><em>

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	18. All it takes

**CHAPTER 18: All it takes…**

BPOV:

I stared at the phone in my hand, unable to move or say anything. My mind was having an internal battle. Part of me wanted to get in a car, drive all the way to Vancouver and demand what was going on but the other part wanted to stay in bed because I wasn't ready to be turned down again. I was tending to pick the second idea because I was fairly sure that the reason why Edward was devastated had nothing to do with me personally. It probably was because he had lost the job at Suzy's bookshop - which reminded me to go and check if she knew about all this - or just the fact that he had had to give up the new life he was going to start here but his current state was most definitely not because he had left me.

Without another look at the five words on the display I returned Alice her phone.

"Aren't you going to get up now?" Alice asked, confused by my lack of enthusiasm.

"No." I turned away from her and pulled the covers over my head.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you're going to listen to me now, and you're going to listen carefully," she yelled, throwing my sheet from my bed.

Completely shocked by my best friend's sudden outburst I almost fell out of my bed and actually had to clamp to the headboard to not fall on the floor.

"What the hell, Alice?" I shouted back.

"Look at you, you've been hiding in your room for the past week, avoiding everything and everyone because he has left and now when there is finally a way to work things out you're just going to ignore it?" Alice might be small but damn, she sure knew how to scare me.

"I'm not ignoring it," I snapped back.

"Yes you are! You won't even consider to go and see him." "Maybe because I'm not ready for this!"

"Bella, you're both being miserable. Can't you at least go talk to him?" she asked, almost begging me.

"I can't, Alice, I just can't." My voice wasn't louder than a whisper.

"Maybe this is all some misunderstanding between the two of you and..." Alice started but I quickly interrupted her. "It's not, Alice. He didn't want me or this anymore, so he left. It's as simple as that."

"No, it's not. And for once you're going to do as I say. So get your lazy ass in Jasper's car before I drag it in there!"

"I can't go, Alice, I have to go to work tomorrow," I tried once more.

"We'll take care of that," she said, already pulling me out of bed.

Oh well, maybe it wouldn't be that bad to demand some answers and at least it would make Alice shut up about it.

Without giving her one more look I stepped out of bed, not caring about how I looked and walked towards the front door. "Let's get this shit over with," I said as I threw on my coat.

The entire drive I remained quiet, going over every possible scenario in my mind. I won't deny that a little part of me was hoping that he'd be happy to see me, but the more rational part was saying that maybe this wasn't a good idea after all. What if he would get mad at me for following him? I mean, it was  
>his sister's house and I had nothing to do in there.<p>

I was slowly breeding a headache so I put in my headphones, hoping to end these damn thoughts.

When we pulled over in front of the little cottage - which was even more beautiful than I remembered - I clamped down again. I couldn't do this. I couldn't face him. I couldn't.

I was fairly sure I would break down in front of him and the last thing I wanted was to appear weak.

"Maybe you should go in without me first, to see his reaction," I softly said when Jasper and Alice were already out of the car and asking me what I was still doing inside.

"Bella, don't be silly," Alice said, her voice a little annoyed. Oh well, she was right. I hadn't come all the way over here to chicken out right now. It was time to toughen up and face him.

I stepped out of the car, more confident than ever. He wasn't going to bring me down, not again. Don't ask me how I'd suddenly gotten that brave because I was kind of surprised myself.

Five seconds after Jasper had rung the bell, the door flew open. Disappointment was visible all over Madelyn's face, but was quickly replaced by a small smile.

"What's wrong?" Jasper quickly asked as we were led inside.

"He left about two hours ago and still hasn't come back. I'm starting to worry."

"He knew I was coming," I concluded softly, more talking to myself than anyone else.

"No, he didn't," Madelyn replied, "I've sent that text without him knowing about it and I've talked to him afterwards. He just said he needed some time to think about everything before making his decision."

"Decision?"

"Bella, you have to forgive him for leaving. He's so lost, I..." She stopped mid-sentence. I could see how helpless she felt because she couldn't help her brother. All of the anger I felt towards Edward disappeared right that second. My original plan to yell at him left my mind and was replaced by a new one; I would have a normal conversation with him, just as Alice had suggested. I wanted to know how he felt and how he thought about this whole situation and then, only then I would see how I felt about all this.

* * *

><p>EPOV:<p>

I was sitting down on the grass, my head resting against the wood of the barn, my eyes closed. I knew Madelyn would be worried about me by now. I had been here for longer than I said I would, but I didn't want to go back just yet. I wasn't ready for another round of my sister's questions.

I was still struggling with my thoughts, unable to make a decision because there wasn't a right way. Everything was wrong and either way someone got hurt.

I wanted to be selfish and heal my own heart but I couldn't. Bella was more important than whatever I was feeling or whatever I wanted.

"You're not very good at hiding." My head snapped up and I found myself looking at Jasper who was standing about five feet away from me, on the gravel pad.

How on Earth did he get here?

"Madelyn was getting worried so I offered to look if you were anywhere around," he explained as he took his seat next to me without asking.

"You don't look very good, if I may say."

Jesus, thank you Jasper. As if I didn't know that. It was like it wasn't enough to feel like shit but you have to remind me of it as well. "I feel like shit," I mumbled.

Suddenly my mind registered what Jasper's presence might mean. Was Bella here as well? Did she come here to look for me? Did I want her to find me?

"She's here," Jasper said silently, answering my unspoken question. I swallowed the lump that was starting to form in my throat. She was so close, only a few hundred feet away, and it was like I was pulled towards her, like my body knew she wasn't far away and wanted to touch her. God, I wanted to hold her so badly. I missed the smell of her hair and the way her body fitted perfectly against mine. I missed her laugh and the way she looked at me, like I was someone worthy of living. I missed her, everything about her.

"How is she?" I asked, cautiously.

I wanted to know, I really did, but I was afraid for the answer as well. What if she had moved on? I mean that was what I wanted for her, but I couldn't stop the pain the image of her happy without me caused. She had taken over my entire mind in just a few days and I was completely lost because of it.

"I'm not gonna lie. She's not doing well, Edward. But what did you expect after your sudden departure?" I didn't know how to feel about that revelation. I wanted to feel bad for hurting her and making her feel this way, but another part of me, the selfish part, was happy that she at least hadn't been able to move on just yet.

"I had to go," I whispered.

"That's just bullshit. No one told you to leave, so you didn't have to."

"It was the right thing to do." Why did I feel like everyone was siding up against me? Did no one understand my point of view in this situation? Did nobody see that I was only trying to do what was best for everyone else?

"If you're able to give me one good reason, I promise to leave you alone," Jasper said, looking quite confident.

"Look at me," I started my argument, pointing at my body, "I'm just a piece of trash, I'm disposable."

"You really believe that?" I just nodded, looking at the ground.

"Edward, I had never seen Bella as happy as she was on New Year's Eve. She looked so delighted and comfortable around you. You were  
>and you are good for her."<p>

"But not good enough," I softly added.

"Dammit, Edward, cut the crap. Seriously," he said, a little agitated now. I could feel another lecture coming. "That night, you told me you loved her. Were you lying to me?"

"No!" My eyes shot back at him and I was furious at him for doubting the one thing I was proud of. I was capable of loving someone, truly and deeply, even though no one would ever really care about me. Not even my parents loved me, so why would anyone else feel that way?

"I love her, Jasper, I really do," I said, my temper under control again. I could feel my eyes were starting to tear up just because I wanted to tell  
>her those three words so badly but I probably never would.<p>

"Then why did you leave?" he asked.

Jesus, Jasper, you really need me to repeat it again? "And don't say because you're not good enough, because you are."

"I don't want people to think that I'm taking advantage of her. And be honest, at first, wasn't that what you were thinking as well? Confessing that I love her would only make things more complicated."

"Oh, so you're not willing to take the difficult road?" he said, completely ignoring my question of my first impression on him. Not that it mattered; I had my answer that way as well.

"I would do anything to be with her, but I don't want to put this on her. I don't want people to look at her like she's doing charity work on me. I don't want her to feel bad because of me."

"You think she cares about all that?" he asked, a smile on his lips. I didn't reply.

"Let me tell you something, she doesn't. She doesn't care where you're from and how much money or stuff you own, she cares about you!" he said, punching me against my chest, "and it's about time you realize that!"

"I want to believe that, I really do, but..." I started but Jasper quickly interfered, "No buts, Edward. It's time for you to stop acting rationally. God, I know I'm a guy and you can never say anyone I've said these girly words, but damn, man, it's time to listen to your heart."

I remained quiet for a while, ignoring the looks Jasper kept shooting at me, as if he was waiting for me to tell him something. "What does your heart say?" he finally asked. I didn't need to think twice about that answer. It was as clear as day.

"Bella."

"There you go. So now I want you to get up, go back and at least talk to her," he said, his smile bigger than ever.

"I don't know," I admitted softly.

"Dammit, Edward. I do know. I know that you're both hurting and there is no fucking reason to feel this way. If you would stop being so stubborn and just give this a chance we all wouldn't be here."

I closed my eyes again, images of Bella and me flooding my mind again. I smiled at the memory of it and that was when I made my decision. I would talk to her, even if it led to nothing, but she deserved an explanation. That's the least I could do for her.

The smile on Jasper's face was huge when he noticed my attempts to get up.

"You won't regret this," he said, padding my back.

_Yeah, well, we'll see_.

I was already walking towards the gravel path when I noticed that Jasper wasn't following me. The moment I turned my head to check if he was coming, he quickly put away something in the pocket of his jacket but unfortunately I had been too late to see what it was. I narrowed my eyes at him as he walked passed me. "Are you coming, or what?" he yelled, his smile still intact.

As we got closer to the cottage, I noticed that a few people were standing outside. I would have to be blind to not recognize the long brown curls and I could instantly feel my heartbeat speeding up. Yes, that was the effect she had on me.

I wanted to run the last few feet and just wrap my arms around her but I managed to control myself. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel uncomfortable.

The minute it was possible, our eyes locked and I drowned in the depths of her big brown eyes. Would she ever not take my breath away? I guess not.

I could feel that all other eyes were on me, but mine were fixated on the beautiful girl in front of me.

* * *

><p>BPOV<p>

It was about half an hour ago Jasper had offered to go look for him and ever since then I had been a nervous wreck. He had promised to let us know when he had found him but so far, nothing.

I had wanted to go look for him myself, but Madelyn really wanted to ask me some questions.

During that interrogation I had admitted for the first time to anyone else that I loved him. Can you imagine Alice's squeal after that announcement? Well, it was like that, but only ten times worse.

I guessed she had forgotten about how fucked-up this situation was. It didn't matter whether I loved him or not. He had left me anyway.

Before I could think about a way out of this all, Alice's cellphone buzzed. It was a short text from Jasper saying that they were on their way back. I hated Jasper for not giving me any specifics on Edward's state. Was he mad or happy that I was here? And did he know I was here in the first place?

The questions were driving me crazy so I just got up and walked towards the door, as if those few seconds would make a difference.

I looked into both directions until I saw two figures coming from behind the barn, walking towards me. Alice and Madelyn had both joined me outside and again Madelyn asked me not to be too hard on him.

As I saw him getting closer I wanted to run towards him and jump in his arms. The pull to him was so strong that I had a hard time trying to hold my composure. He still looked as gorgeous as I remembered even though the beard was back and he looked worn out.

Our eyes locked instantly and even if I wanted to, I just couldn't look away from his beautiful green eyes. I found myself biting my lower lip again and smiled at the memory of what had happened last time I did that in his presence.

Once he was in front of me, I couldn't control myself anymore. I threw myself at him and closed my arms around his neck. I broke into sobs as I felt his arms tighten around me as well.

"You can't just leave me like that. You just can't," I cried against his chest. He loosened his grip on me and forced me to look at him, his hand cradling my cheeks while his thumb was trying to wipe away the tears. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his expression pained and his eyes wet as well, "I'm so sorry, Bella."

I closed my eyes, resting my forehead against his. I didn't know what to do. All I wanted to do was press my lips against his like nothing had happened but I figured that maybe we first needed to talk about all this.

"I love you," he suddenly said, his voice confident and stronger than before.

My eyes immediately snapped back open, only to be met by his ones. They were sincere but a little pained as well, as if he was scared because of this declaration. A smile spread across my face and a soft laughter escaped my mouth. He loved me. He loved me and suddenly nothing else mattered anymore. It didn't matter that he had left me without an explanation and it didn't matter that he had broken my heart. All that mattered was that he was here right now, holding me. Oh, and he loved me, probably not as much as I loved him, but still, he did.

I buried my face in his chest again, trying to let this all sink in. He kissed my hair and I was about five seconds away from turning into jelly. That's what he did to me.

I needed him to know how I felt as well. He needed to know what he was capable of doing to me with just one look or a little touch. Maybe that would keep him from running next time.

"I love you too," I whispered as I pressed a kiss on his chest, right above his heart.

Again, he was pulling away from me, looking me straight in the eye.

"You do?" he asked, sounding so hopeful it caused my heart to jump in my chest.

"Yeah," I admitted and his lips turned into a smile even more breathtaking than usual. I did. I really did love this man.

"But that beard is coming of first thing when we get home," I added, laughing while pulling the hair on his chin. "Only fair," he chuckled as he pulled me even closer. I knew we had to talk about all that had happened, but right now I couldn't care less. We loved each other and I wasn't going to let anything ruin our moment.

* * *

><p><em>AN: *collective ooooooh* Couldn't keep them apart for too long, right? _

_Thank you, everyone! The support is massive and I couldn't be happier about it!_

_Anyway, I have some bad news as well… It's possible I won't be able to update as much as I have been doing the past month. School is starting again *pout* _

_But don't worry, I'll at least update once a week. Promise! _

_Forever thanking MidnightSunSC17 because she's truly amazing!_

_AND: REVIEW = SNEAK PEEK!  
><em>

_Lots of love,_


	19. You are my home

**CHAPTER 19: You are my home**

My mind drifted away from real time as I opened the cupboard in the kitchen to take two glasses. I smiled as I remembered the last three days. Ever since we had left Vancouver everything had been absolutely perfect; just like I had always imagined my life to be when I was younger. I was doing a job I enjoyed and I was surrounded by amazing friends who wouldn't hesitate to call me out on my mistakes, but most importantly I was coming home to the man I love every evening. Yeah, all is good in Bella's world.  
>But it hadn't always been rainbows and sunshine since we had been back. The night Edward and I had returned from his sister, we had both collapsed on the bed, completely exhausted which wasn't that surprising since it was already 3AM. I had known we still needed to talk about our whole situation but I just wanted to remain the way we were for a little longer. You couldn't blame me for just wanting to be happy for once, right?<p>

The next morning though, I hadn't had the courage to wake him so I had just left for work. I had been nervous the entire day, because I knew that when I would come home that night, we couldn't avoid it anymore.

Turned out I'd had nothing to be afraid of. I won't deny that it was a tough conversation but now I could finally understand why he had acted the way he did and we could finally move on.

_"I guess we can't avoid it any longer," Edward had said, as we had both made our way to the living room. I had managed to lay off the dreaded conversation until after dinner. And if it hadn't been for Edward mentioning it, I guess I would have found a way to postpone it again. But that was just avoiding things and in the end that would turn out bad for both of us._

_I needed to understand his motives and he needed to understand that I wanted him here, no matter what, and that was not something you can know without talking about it. So with a sigh I sat down next to him._

_He quickly took my hand between his and looked me straight in the eyes and that was when I knew, that no matter what was going to be said now, we would work it out, and we would end up being stronger._

_"You know I love you, right?" he said, needing the confirmation once more before starting._

_"I do. And I love you too." It felt so good to finally be able to say those three little words._

_"I knew how I felt about you before I left, I knew I loved you," he continued, "and it scared me. I have never felt this way about anyone before and all of the sudden, in less than two weeks, I found myself being completely head over heels. There was nothing I wanted more than to stay with you, than to be with you..." He trailed off at those last words and I could feel the pain radiating from his body. I could tell he was holding back tears because his jaw was clenched. I slowly raised my hand and cupped his face, forcing him to look at me again. His eyes were indeed brimming with tears and the sight of him made my stomach clench. I didn't like seeing him like this, especially not when I was the reason._

_I nodded at him, encouraging him to continue._

_"But what I wanted didn't matter, you did, only you. And I would never be able to give you what you deserve."_

_"Did I ever lead you on to that? That you needed to give me stuff to keep me satisfied?" I whispered, afraid I had said or done something that might have caused this decision of his._

_"No," he replied sadly, "I just knew that I couldn't make you happy, so I decided it was better to just leave and hope you'd find someone who would be able to take care of you in a way I never could."_

_"You..." I wanted to say something but he shushed me and continued to take himself down and every word hit me like a cold brick. He thought so little of himself while he was in fact such a good man who just hadn't had luck on his side._

_"I'll never have a high function, I'll never earn enough money to buy you everything you want, like a house like the one Madelyn has, I'll never be able to take you to a fine restaurant or buy you an expensive necklace or ring, and you deserve all of that. You deserve even more." By the time he had bared his entire soul, tears were streaming down his face. He really believed money was everything and everything else didn't matter. He didn't value love as important and I sincerely hoped that that wouldn't lead to any problems later._

_"Why didn't you tell me you felt this way?" I asked, realizing that if he would only have had the courage to tell me, so much pain could have easily been avoided._

_"I don't know," he sighed, defeated, "It's not like it would have mattered. By saying it, I still wouldn't be able to give you all of that."_

_"Edward, it would have changed everything! I don't want any of that!" I said honestly, "I don't need a man who works his ass of in some big company, doing everything to earn the big bucks, I want a simple guy, who is home every evening and can make time for me. I don't need a house like Madelyn's, though it is gorgeous, I need a home and right now, you are my home so I don't care where we live, as long as we're together, I'll be happy. And to hell with fancy dinners, I would choose Chinese take away over anything," I giggled at my last statement. I had once gone to this incredibly expensive restaurant a little out of town and when they had handed me the menu I didn't understand a single thing. Sure I understood English, but I had never heard of any of the dishes that they served there. I had ended up ordering something of what I had no idea what it was and we had to leave halfway through dinner because I was feeling sick.I snapped out of the memory and forced my attention back to Edward, who already looked a lot more hopeful._

_"What about the jewellery?" he asked, the last point on his list of things he though I needed,"Every girl loves diamonds, so I guess you won't be the exception to that."_

_"I won't deny that rings and necklaces and stuff make me excited," I started, wanting to be honest with him, "but I don't need diamonds. I don't like those big shiny things. I mean, I wouldn't even be able to tell if they were real or not, so what does it matter anyway? I prefer small things, like this." I pulled own the sleeve of my sweater and showed him the bracelet he gave me the day I asked him to move in._

_"You still wear it?" he mumbled, sounding surprised._

_"I do. And to me, it's worth so much more than those stupid diamonds because it has a meaning. It means that you are my friend and so much more. And that's all I'm asking from you. I don't need you to go all big dinners and fancy dresses on me, I need simple gestures that have meanings and show me that you care. I need you, Edward, just the way you are. Because I wouldn't trade you for anyone else. You're the sweetest and kindest man in the world, you have your heart in the right place and you have already put your feelings over mine, so don't tell me you're not good enough for me, because if you aren't, nobody else is. You love me and that's all that matters."_

_I whiped away a tear that threatened to fall._

_"I love you, Bella, I love you so much. But how do I know I love you enough?" he whispered._

_"You already do," I said, placing his hand over my heart, showing just how much these last words of him had affected me, "You're really oblivious to the effect you have on me, aren't you? One word of you and I'm getting weak on my knees. One touch and my entire body trembles and aches for more. One kiss and I'm completely at your mercy."_

_His smile grew bigger as I went on about what he did to me. "You love me," he concluded, his eyes moist because of the realisation._

_"I do. So don't you ever leave me again, because I won't be able to handle it when you do."_

_"Never!"_

My heart grew ten times it size by just remembering the force in his voice when he said that last word. He meant it and that was when I knew we would be alright.

With the glasses and a bottle of red wine, I made my way back to the living room where Edward was spread out on the couch.

"Red wine," he grinned when he noticed the bottle in my hand, "Don't you remember what happened last time we had a glass of wine?"

"Oh yes I do," I admitted with a sly look on my face. Hell yes I remembered last time and may this be the exact reason why I picked out red wine for tonight.

Edward and I had always been touching each other - in innocent ways of course - whenever we were in reaching distance. Maybe it was because we were both afraid to be away from each other because if we weren't wrapped up in each other, we were holding hands and even if that wasn't possible, we would always find a way to connect our bodies. A brush of his arm against mine, an 'accidental' touch when passing something to each other, my hand on his shoulder because I needed support,... Yeah, we were quite creative.

And whenever we were apart, like when I was at work, we would text each other. Edward had finally accepted the phone I gave him, much to my relief and he had even admitted that he didn't even regret accepting this one.

Tonight was Friday night and to say I was looking forward to the weekend was most definitely an understatement. Two days with Edward, the thought of it only made my heart jump higher than the highest building in Seattle.

I quickly snuggled against him and let go a content sigh as he wrapped his arms around me. Who needs heaven when you can have Edward Cullen's arms?

Exactly.

Just when I was about to start the movie Edward had set up for tonight my phone went off. I decided to ignore it and let the voicemail take it. When the ringing had finally stopped I pressed play, realizing I didn't even know what movie Edward had picked for tonight.

"Mary Poppins," he answered my unspoken question with a sly smile. Did I already tell you that I love this man? Well, I did.

We didn't even get through the opening credits as my phone was demanding my attention again.

"Get it," Edward said, appreciative, "It might be important."

I pouted at him before reaching for the object that I hated so much right now. Without checking the display I accepted the call just by saying, "This better be important." I could hear Edward chuckle and then a storm of words and shrieks blasted through the phone, causing me to pull it away from my ear. Okay, I was most definitely deaf now.

It wasn't hard to tell Alice was on the other line, the high pitched voice and the enthusiasm was enough proof, but there was no way any human could understand what she was saying. She was obviously really excited about something and no matter how many times I tried; I couldn't get a word between hers.

Edward was shooting me weird glances which I could only respond to by shrugging my shoulders. I guess the rambling went on for about a minute and then suddenly it was silent again.

"Alice?" I asked, cautiously.

"OH MY GOD, BELLA, OH MY GOD. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HUGE THIS IS?," she shrieked again. No, I do not. Because I haven't understood a word of your previous yelling.

"Calm down, Alice, breathe, and tell me, quietly and slowly what's going on."

"I'M ENGAGED!"

Oh, that indeed would explain her excitement.

I spend the next hour listening to the story about how Jasper proposed and how perfect it was and of course, Alice had already started with planning the wedding. Throughout the entire conversation I shot apologetic looks at Edward. I really hated Alice for disturbing our evening but this was a big moment in her life and to be honest I didn't want to miss out on it.

"Oh, Bella, and you're totally going to be my maid of honour and I want a big wedding with lots of flowers and..."

"Ho ho ho ho," I stopped her when I heard my name, "Do I actually get a say in this?"

"In what?" she asked.

"In me being maid of honour."

"You don't want to be?" Sadness filled her voice.

"Of course I do, but aren't you supposed to ask me instead of assuming that I'll agree to it," I said, kind of wanting to tease her.

"Oh come on, Bella, we've agreed to being each other's maids of honour when we were only twelve, so I don't need to ask you again." She had a point.

"If you go too Bridezilla on me, I'll quit, understand?" I said.

"DEAL! But you don't have to worry, because I have everything mapped out already. You don't need to do anything actually. I've even planned my own bachelorette party. All you have to do is be present and follow the scripts." Well, that's sounded like an easy job.

"Alice, you're one of a kind," I said, giggling, "but I'm really happy for you, guys. Oh, by the way, how is Jasper doing? Haven't you strangled him in all of your enthusiasm?"

"No, he's calling Peter now," she said, still her excited self, "and we're going to our parents tomorrow to announce it as well."

Well, those poor parents would be surprised, at least. Alice and Jasper have only been dating for five months and even though there was no doubt about it that they were made for each other and that their marriage would probably last, Alice had seen Jasper's parents for the first time only three weeks ago and now they would already go back and announce their engagement. That would be a fun conversation.

After another half an hour of wedding rambles I had managed to end the conversation. My head was throbbing because of Alice's voice and I could hear Edward chucking when I rubbed my head, trying to soothe the pain.

"I do not envy you right now," he shrugged as he motioned me to come closer. I accepted his invitation without a second thought and rested my head against his chest.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" he asked, confused.

"For ruining our night," I said.

"It's okay." His lips touched my hair and I instantly felt the stress and pain leave my body. "We can still watch Mary Poppins tomorrow night."

"Remind me to turn off my phone when we do, because I have a feeling Alice might call every hour with wedding plans," I whined.

"I will," he said, "but damn, poor Jasper."

I couldn't control my laughter at his last remark. "He'll be fine."

"Yeah, he will."

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><p><em>AN: Thank you for all your support, you really have no idea how much it means to me :D_

_Again, all of my love for MidnightSunSC17. She's wonderful!_

_Aaaaaand sneak peek for reviewers ;) (anonymous; please leave me a place where to contact you :'D)_

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	20. Seduction

_A/N: Sorry you had to wait this long for an update. I've been quite busy lately. School, you know. But I promise I'll keep to at least one update a week. Promise!_

_Disclamer: I do not own these characters nor Mary Poppins.  
><em>

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 20: Seduction<strong>

Apparently, I wasn't even kidding when I told Edward that Alice would probably call every hour with new arrangements on her wedding even though she had told me I wouldn't have to put too much effort in this. The battery of my phone was almost dead due to her frequent calls.

The soon to be wed couple had decided on a winter wedding, so they had set to date to the twentieth of December, which means they had about a year to plan everything.

And with Alice's wish list they would probably end up having a serious lack of time.

By the time my phone had rung for the twelfth time this morning - yes I had been counting - I decided to turn off my phone. Even though Edward said he didn't mind, I could see the disappointed look in his eyes every time my ringtone disturbed us.

"So, what are our plans for today," I said, a huge smile on my face, after I had put my phone back in my purse.

"I don't know, you tell me." The crooked smile on his face was breathtaking and it caused my heart to jump in my chest.

I moved closer and he instantly pulled me on his lap, encircling my waist as I threw my arms around his neck.

"Hmm, it has to be something that includes just you and me," I mused, really wanting him all to myself today. It is okay to be selfish once in a while right?

"Definitely," he agreed, the grin on his face growing even bigger, "though I would like to go outside as well."

"But it's cold," I pouted, hoping to change his mind. The temperature had increased a lot these past few days but still, it was too cold for me to enjoy being outside.

"Then you'll have to dress warm enough," he said, seemingly unaffected by my attempts to win him over. Damn him.

I got off of his lap, shot him a 'yes I am mad but in fact I am not-look' and took off towards the bedroom to change into something that would keep me from freezing to dead.

I was pulling out one of my warmest sweaters when I felt his arms sneaking around me again. "You're not mad, are you? I mean, we can stay in, if you want to."

I guess I didn't really succeed at my 'I'm not really mad at you-look' because the tone of his voice showed me he really thought I was pissed.

"Don't be silly." I couldn't hold my laughter.

"Bellaaaa," he whined, but there was an unmistakable seriousness in his voice, "You can't pretend to be mad at me; it scares me."

I quickly turned around and wrapped my arms around him. I needed to assure him that I wasn't mad, at all. Maybe I should be easier with my teasing. Or get better at glaring.

"Come on, let's get our toes frozen off," I said, pulling him towards the front door.

* * *

><p>We had spent the entire day strolling around town, just enjoying each other's company. Although I really had been worried about the cold before we left, it wasn't that bad after all to be honest, but I whined a little bit, just because when I did, Edward would get all compassionate and pull me closer.<p>

Seems like a legit reason to complain, don't you think?

But there was something about the way he threw his arm around me, the way he pulled me close to his chest and kissed the top of my head every once in a while. Even though it made it almost impossible to walk, it made me feel safe. As if that one arm and his entire body could protect me from every bad thing in this horrible world.

Every once in a while I would glance up at him and he would look so happy and carefree that I could only smile back because I was feeling exactly the same.

My mind was processing all of my feelings - once again- when without warning or indication Edward pulled me into a searing kiss I could feel it all the way down to my toes. Before I could even think about responding he had already pulled away and was walking two meters in front of me, backwards, with the smuggest look on his face.

I was completely dumbfounded and breathless, unable to move or speak, and it wasn't hard to tell that this was exactly his plan from the start. I must have been looking like a fish, gaping at him while he was being all smug and innocent. I narrowed my eyes at him the minute my brain had processed everything and then I ordered my limps to move and tried to catch up with him.

"You're so going to pay for this," I said, walking right passed him instead of taking his hand back.

"Bring it on". His smirk was still in place but the second he took my hand in his again it softened to a happy smile. Oh well, maybe I wasn't going to punish him. It would be the biggest lie ever to say that I didn't enjoy it. Though I would have appreciated it if he didn't pull away that quickly.

All the teasing and the closeness made the afternoon pass in a blur. I didn't even notice that it was already starting to darken outside until Edward suggested going home before it'd get even colder.

Back home, we quickly took care of dinner and while I was cleaning the table, Edward suddenly reappeared in the living room, holding up my DVD of Mary Poppins. "So, are we going to watch it now? Or do you think Alice will come and bang our door now you don't pick up your phone anymore?"

"It's not because she's knocking on our door, we have to open it," I said, slightly amused. That must have been enough of an answer for him because he reeled off towards the living room, probably already starting up the movie. I laughed at the foolishness that always appeared in him when we were about to watch a film. It was adorable and oh so sweet. I would agree to watch a movie, just to see that look on his face.

I quickly joined him on the couch and rested my head on his chest.

"I watched it for the first time when I was about five," Edward suddenly said after a while, "and every day for the next year I kept asking the housekeeping when Mary Poppins would come and take care of us and make us a happy family again." My eyes closed and I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat at those last words. I didn't have a hard time picturing a five year old green-eyed boy, begging for someone to make his parents love him. God, it was so easy to hate those two people even if I only knew them through Edward's stories.

I softly pressed a kiss on his chest, trying to give him all the comfort I could.

"And I spent the next months singing Super-cali-fragil-istic-expialidocious , until Madelyn and everyone else in the house had enough of it and threatened to hold off my daily cookie." He snickered at those last words. I could tell he was trying to lighten the mood again, but I couldn't get the images of sad, little Edward out of my head.

"Can you say it?" he said when I didn't reply.

"Say what?"

"Super-cali-fragil-istic-expialidocious"

"No, I can't," I admitted, a small smile slowly appearing on my lips again because of his eagerness.

"Try it." Oh no, there was no way I was going to embarrass myself by tripping over my words, or well, that one word. "No!"

"Oh come on, Bella," he whined.

"I can't pronounce it." By that time I was giggling like a little kid. How did he do it? He could change the mood so easily.

"That's why you have to try."

"No."

Suddenly a mischievous smirk spread across his face and that always indicated he was up to no good. I was already untangling myself out of his grip, bracing myself for whatever he had in mind as I slowly slid away from him, to the other side of the couch.

"Last chance...," he warned, his eyes never leaving mine. I shook my head and instantly knew I was going to regret this. O-oh.

Before I could blink one more time he lunged himself at me, poking my sides, trying to elicit a reaction. God, why did I have to be so ticklish? Have mercy on me!

For about five seconds I was able to pretend he was failing, hoping he would just give up. But he didn't, so I cracked up.

I laughed so hard, tears already forming in my eyes, that it was impossible to push him away. I was trying though. One of my hands was pushing at his chest while the other was trying to get hold of his wrist.

"Stop iiiiit," I managed to croak out. By this time, Edward was laughing as well which caused that he wasn't applying as much pressure to my ribs as he was before.

"I'm not stopping 'til you try to say the word!" he laughed. He was already hovering over me, caging me in the corner of the couch.

I was pushing his chest hardly, trying to escape his attack, when suddenly his hands stopped poking me and I caught him looking at me.

Really looking. My cheeks were reddening by his intense look and he must have noticed as well because his thumb lightly caressed the crimson on my face. "You're so beautiful when you blush," he whispered so softly as if he was afraid to break the sudden mood we found ourselves in. We had gone from playful to this in a blink of an eye and I could already feel my breathing was starting to pick up. That's what he did to me. And there was no way I was going to let this moment pass.

I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him closer until his lips were touching mine. He didn't hesitate and instantly kissed me back. The way his lips felt against mine would never not make me quiver or feel like my entire body was on fire.

His chest was pressed against mine now and it still wasn't enough for me. I wanted to be closer.

Much closer."Bella." He was practically panting my name by now and I guess I wouldn't have been better at pronouncing something.

Anything. My mind was blank and filled with only one thought; 'not enough.'

His eyes were turning into another shade of green, a darker one, a lust filled one. Before I could discover any other emotions, his lips were pressed against mine again. His tongue darted out, and I met it with my own. With that motion, our kisses turned hungry and passionate. Edward snaked his arm round my waist and pulled me tighter against his body as I wrapped my legs around his waist. The change in position caused a mutual groan to erupt from our connected mouths, but we didn't stop kissing. I ran my hands through his hair as his mouth travelled along my neck.

"I love the way you smell," he whispered against my hair. I shivered as he ran his tongue along my earlobe. "You always smell like strawberries. It drives me crazy."

I trembled, which only caused him to hold me tighter. It was as if we couldn't get close enough, and I desperately clung to him as his body pressed against every inch of mine.

His lips continued their way along my shoulder and suddenly he stopped all of his movements. I moaned in disapproval which caused him to chuckle.

"Don't stop," I whispered.

"If I continue now, I'll never be able to stop," he admitted, his eyes still the darker shade than usual, "I want you so much."

I shiver ran down my spine and slowly I crawled away from underneath Edward and got up from the couch, sticking my hands out towards him. He gave me a confused look before taking both of my hands and letting me lead him towards our bedroom.

The second he noticed where I was heading to, he scooped me up in his arms, almost ran towards our room and threw me softly on the bed, causing me to yelp.

His lips connected with mine again and instantly he continued where he had led off a second ago. I ran my hands along his back, lightly scratching my nails against his skin. He shivered against me and looked at me again. I kissed his jaw line, running my tongue along the edge. The light stubble that was starting to form turned me on even more.

My hands slid over his chest and quickly started to unbutton his shirt. He lifted himself a bit off me so I had better access to those damn buttons. I pushed the shirt over his shoulders and let it drop to the floor as I let my hands roam over his naked chest.

Before I could register it all, the rest of our clothes joined his shirt on the floor. His hands were freely caressing every inch of my body and it should have made me very aware of my looks. I was not by any means perfect. My body had flaws. But from the way he was currently looking at me, you'd think differently.

"I love you so much, Bella," he whispered, looking me straight in the eye, trying to show how much. My heart was beating at an insane rate at this moment and I swore I'd never felt more alive.

"Show me," I replied softly, probably blushing again.

My entire body shuddered underneath him as he instinctively moved his hips against mine. A moment later, he was holding my face in his hands. His lips danced lightly across my jaw and up to my lips. He opened his eyes as he hovered above me and stared intently into mine and then his eyes fluttered shut as he finally pushed inside me. I wrapped one leg around his body and pushed him deeper.

Our hips moved together in sync with one another, almost like we'd been together forever. It felt familiar and completely new at the same time. He dropped his hand and grazed it down my chest, taking his time to touch me like I wanted to be touched.

I swallowed hard and bit down on my lip as he steadied himself, placing his elbows on either side of my head.

He grunted and dropped his head to my chest as he started moving faster and I felt myself creeping closer and closer. My entire body tensed up and burst like a spring a moment before he shivered above me. He pushed inside me one last time before collapsing on top of me.

My entire body was buzzing around him. My hands roamed freely up and down his bare back as we rode it out together. He swirled his tongue across the damp skin of my chest and turned his eyes up to me.

"Wow," he panted, never leaving my eyes, when he carefully rolled off me.

"Exactly," I replied while my fingers were still travelling on his chest, drawing little patterns.

He quickly pulled me towards him, making me rest my head on his chest. He probably needed the contact just as much as I did. Now his fingers were skimming over my back as well. His light touch made me shiver all over again.

We remained quiet for a while; because not one word would be able to explain the connection we most definitely had both felt a few minutes ago. It was strong and it felt good but at the same time it scared me. Nothing to worry about, but still.

He softly pressed his lips against my hair, mumbling something I couldn't understand because I was already dossing off to sleep and I was fairly sure I would have the best night rest ever.

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><p><em>AN: Fieuw, glad we covered that! _

_Okay, this was most definitely not my piece of cake! So if any of you guys are reading this for lemons I'm going to disappoint you. Sorry but I'm really not good at this… (That's why you had to wait this long for an update.)_

_This fic is turning out to have a lot of more chapters than I originally mapped out. We're not even halfway through it… But I'm planning on dropping a few unimportant events, because I don't want to make it TOO long… I guess I'll end up having about 40 – 50 chapters… idk yet._

_Oh, all my love to MidnightSunSC17. I wouldn't be doing this without her.  
><em>

_Anyway, review = sneak peek. I keep doing this because I like to hear your opinion on what I write :)_

_Lots of love, Ellen_


	21. Chief Swan

_A/N: First of all, I'm sorry it took me so long, I really am sorry... But this chapter is slightly bigger than the previous chapter, so, are we good now? *puppy eyes*_

_Second; I need to make a leap in time here because if I write down everything I'll end up having 10654351 chapters and I don't think that would be good thing… Sorry. _

_Hope you'll enjoy anyway ;)_

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 21: Chief<strong>

The morning sun was beaming through the curtains, lighting up the room and Edward's features next to me. His chest was still rising and falling ever so slowly, indicating he was still asleep.

After pressing a soft kiss on his temple I got out of bed and made my way to the window, letting the April sun lighten up the entire room as I pushed the curtains open.

I took a glance outside and smiled as I realized that this might become a great day. The awful snow had only lasted for three weeks, fortunately because I hated going to work by foot and I was too scared to drive through those tick patches of snow. Edward, on the contrary, loved the white mess and he had been pouting the entire day when he got up that day only to realize the snow was gone.

I turned around, looking at the gorgeous man in my bed. Our bed. There was a slight smile on his lips and it made my lips turn into one as well.

Things had been amazing these last three months, to say at least. Everything seemed to fall into place so easily, I was wondering when my luck would be over and dark clouds would come again. But every day I woke up next to him, feeling blessed and deliriously happy.

I would never forget the day after we had made love for the first time. It had been the best day of my entire life. Not that we did anything special, we were the same two people, but in another way, we were new. We knew each other in a whole other way now and throughout those months we had only grown closer.

Oh and about our contract, about Edward moving out after receiving his first pay check, paying back and renting an own apartment? Well, it didn't quite go that way...

As his first pay check had arrived, he had been in front of our door, a bouquet of flowers in his hand and the widest grin on his face. He was so happy about it, not only because of the money but mostly because he loved his job; that much was for sure. Oh, and Suzy, well, she had been able to get Edward to spill about us on his first day and needless to say, she had been ecstatic when she found out she had been right from the start. We were perfect for each other and with those revelations kept in the back of our mind, we had realized we both wouldn't be able stand the thought of living apart or sleeping in another bed, so we just stayed the way we were though I hadn't been able to keep Edward from returning me the money I had spend on him. I had only accepted because he had been whining about it for two weeks and clearly wouldn't give in.

This whole new living situation had of course made me think, a lot. I loved Edward; that much was for sure. I wanted to move on with him, have a future with him. So for the past month I had been going back and forth on everything, seeing we had been living together for about four months now, having a relationship for, well, four as well - Let's just forget about that one horrible week in January, shall we? - and I still hadn't told my father about this situation. Hell, he didn't even know I was seeing someone, let alone he would know about our living arrangements.

Charlie had called every once in a while though, asking me how I was doing, wondering when I would visit him again. I had always told him the truth, saying I was feeling better than ever but leaving out the Edward-part.

And now I found myself really wanting to see my dad again. It had been five months, by far the biggest amount of time I hadn't seen him and he was starting to worry that I was letting him fall. I never wanted him to feel that way. Ever.

So I decided to go this weekend, with or without Edward. I still hadn't had the courage to ask him. I didn't know if he would want to go with me. I mean, parents and Edward were a tricky combination. But to be honest I didn't want to make the trip on my own. I wanted my father to know the man that changed my life and I hoped that would be enough for Edward to agree into coming with me.

EPOV

I grumbled to myself as I noticed Bella had already opened the curtains. I knew we both had to leave for work today but it was only 6AM so that left me with at least another half an hour of sleep. It's not because she couldn't sleep anymore that I had to get up already, right? Okay, not very much the behaviour of a gentleman, I know, but still.

I turned around, willing to bury my face in my pillow to block out most of the light when I noticed Bella was sitting up on our bed, looking at me with a soft smile. Did I notice a hint of nervousness there? Yep. I was almost certain she was nervous, just by the way she was slightly shifting and the way her hands were fumbling in her lap.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice still thick with sleep.

Please nothing mind was racing a million miles an hour, trying to figure out what could have happened. Had I done something wrong last night? Had I hurt her? She promised she would tell me if I did. Dammit why did she want to experiment that much in bed? I hadn't minded of course, I was a guy after all and experimenting had been fun, at least, until now. If I had hurt her in some way I would never forgive myself.

"I - euhm - I kind of want to ask you something," she mumbled, her eyes fixated on her hands in her lap.

"Okay." I sat up as well, taking her hands in mine, hoping to make her less nervous and force her eyes to me.

"I miss Charlie," she just said and it was enough for me to let go a relieved breath and to know where she was heading to as well. She wanted to go to Forks, visit her dad. At least I hoped she only wanted to visit and not move back all together.

"You want to visit him." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Obviously.

"Yeah."

"I won't stop you," I said, not knowing why she was so nervous about asking. I wasn't going anywhere just because she wanted to go see her dad.

"I want you to come with me." Ooh.

Meeting her father. How bad could it be? I mean, it's not like he's a cop and has a gun and will probably hate my guts. Yeah, that's right, totally cool with meeting that dude.

Bella must have sensed my sudden anxiety because she quickly turned to me, moving her hands to envelop mine this time. "Hey, don't worry.

I've got your back and if he sees how much I care for you, he'll accept you."

"He'll hate me and he'll think you're crazy for taking me in," I stated.

"I'm not going to deny that he might freak out in the beginning, but he'll come by. Just like Alice did. He only needs to get to know you and it'll all be fine."

"Oh yeah sure, get him to know me, tell him about my drug past and the fact that I've lived on the street for more than a year, that'll definitely make him love me," I huffed.

"First of all, that whole drug situation was a set-up right? Or did you lie to me?" She sounded annoyed now.

"No, I really had nothing to do with that."

"Well, there you go."

"But my criminal record doesn't mention that, so my word and even your word is worthless."

"My dad can tell whether someone is lying or not. Don't ask me how he does it, but he was always able to tell me when I was lying to him."

"Because you're a terrible liar," I said, softly snickering. It was true. She couldn't lie. I could always see right through her, even after only five months of knowing her.

"It's not only me, but other people as well."

"Okay, but it's not a lie that I've been homeless," I said, but hope was settling inside me. Maybe, just maybe...

"You're not anymore and you have a job now and you're going to be just fine. Edward, we've gone over this so many times now and you have to stop thinking you're worthless, 'cause you're not."

We were silent for a while and my mind was going in overdrive. I knew I would have to face Charlie once, at least if I wanted to keep seeing Bella and of that I was sure. So I guessed I would have to toughen up and go with her. Meet her father and in the meantime hoping that his gun wasn't loaded.

"I'll come with you," I said and the smile on her face was enough for me to be happy about this decision. She lunged herself at me and pressed her lips on mine. I snickered at her enthusiasm but quickly kissed her too.

"We should really leave if we want to make it at work on time," she mumbled against my lips.

"Only a few more seconds," I whined, not ready to let her gorgeous body leave mine.

When we had finally made it to the kitchen to eat breakfast, Bella was all chatty about her dad. Telling me stories about their relationship, stories from when she was a kid and how much she had missed him while she lived here before I came along. It warmed my heart to see her talk about him with so much passion and it made me wish I'd had this kind of a relationship with my father. In that moment I decided I would do anything to make Charlie at least like me. I would try to show him just how much Bella meant to me and that I would do anything to make her happy. I really hoped that would suffice to make me look like a good boyfriend for his daughter. I didn't even want to think what would happen if he got mad.

God please let him give me a chance.

"So, I'm going to call him when I get in the office to tell him we're coming over this weekend," Bella continued her monologue.

What?

This weekend? As in tomorrow? And a  
>weeked? As in two days? As in staying over? As in giving him a chance to cut my throat while I was asleep? Oh god, I was so not ready for this.<p>

I thought she would at least give me more time to prepare my epic speech to convince her father, but no.

"Calm down, Edward, it'll be fine," she said, putting her hands on my face to calm me down again. It worked. My breathing was slowing down again.

"I'm scared," I finally admitted.

"You don't have to be," she assured me once again.

"What if he puts a restriction order on me? Because he can totally do that, since he's a cop."

"Edward," she said, rolling her eyes, "He wouldn't do that. Even if he doesn't like you right away, he's not going to make me unhappy. Hell, I'd hate him if he does that."

"See, I'm going to break you apart."

"No, you're not. God, Edward, stop being such a pessimist."

"I'm being realistic," I stated. There was a huge possibility he wouldn't like me. Hell, I wouldn't even like me if I were him.

"No, you're not," she said, her voice firm, "I've already told you, I've got your back. I won't let him take you down and I'll demand him to give you a chance because I love you."

I looked up at her. I had to see if she meant it. Her eyes were sincere and so full of love I could only agree.

"Just don't leave me when he hates me," I pleaded.

"I won't," she promised and that was enough for me to tell her to make the call

The day was passing by quickly. Too quickly. I needed more time. More time to prepare whatever I was going to say to Charlie tomorrow, more time to figure out how to approach him and how to act around the man that raised the woman I fell in love with.

Suzy had noticed my agitation very soon, just because I kept dropping books and was more distracted than ever before.

When I finally told her about our plans to go to Forks she had only guffawed and said "Oh, meeting the father-in-law, good luck with that." Yeah, thanks for the help, Suze.

Bella on the other hand was ecstatic, not only because she would see her father again but mostly because I had agreed to come with her. I hated myself for ruining her good mood but I couldn't calm down about it. I wanted Charlie to like me so badly, I needed him to like me.

"It'll be alright, Edward," Bella assured me for the umpteenth time before we went to sleep. I kept repeating that sentence over and over in my mind, hoping I would finally believe it. I never did. I guess I shouldn't have been shocked that my dreams that night were filled with angry Charlies carrying loaded guns and butcher knives.

I was not ready for this. Not at all. Okay, I didn't think I'd ever be ready, but this definitely wasn't the time yet. The entire drive I was trying to come up with something, anything, to say to Charlie because I was fairly sure that a simple 'I'm in love with your daughter' wouldn't seal the deal here. If I would have been a lawyer or a doctor on the other hand...

"Edward, are you coming?" Bella asked, probably wondering why I was still in the car even though we were already parked for about five minutes now. I couldn't move. I just couldn't. God, why was I so scared? Oh right, I could lose Bella here. Yes, enough of a reason to be petrified.

But there was no turning back anymore. We were here and I was going to face Charlie, ready or not. After a little inner pep talk I managed to step out of the car. Bella was instantly by my side, forcing my eyes into hers as she took of my hands. "He's not a monster, Edward," she said, "Give him some time and it'll all turn out just fine." By now, she had said it so many times that a little part of my brain was starting to believe her. God how I wanted to believe her.

"Bells?"

She snapped her eyes away from me and before I really registered it she had run towards the front door and had thrown her arms around her father. Charlie hugged her back in an awkward way and I could tell he wasn't such an affectionate man but of course, that didn't mean he didn't love his daughter. I could hear them having a hushed conversation while I was still nervously standing next to the car. When they finally let go of each other Bella turned her attention to me again, introducing me to her dad.

With one last sigh, I walked to them, trying to look as good as possible. I politely shook his hand and wasn't surprised by the firm hold Charlie gave me. You know what they say about first impressions? Well, I'm pretty sure I blew mine. Charlie's stern look made me fear that he already knew I was a piece of trash. And let me tell you, I've already dealt with quite a few men but no one had scared me as much as Charlie Swan.

"Let's go inside," Bella said, oblivious to what was going on between her father and me. There was a huge smile on her face and at least I was happy that she wasn't feeling nervous about this.

Everything was surprisingly easy for the next hour. No hard questions about me yet, just small talk and talking about Bella so I guess that as long we were able to postpone the conversation on who I was, we would be good.

"We kept you from fishing today, haven't we?" Bella suddenly asked Charlie, noticing the nice weather outside.

"Yeah, but I don't care. I can go fishing another day, but I don't get to see my little girl every day, don't I?"

"Maybe we could go together?" she suggested, "We don't have anything else to do so..."

Charlie hesitated for a moment but agreed to Bella's idea. I had never fished before. I just didn't see the point in staring at a little thing in the water until a fish was stupid enough to eat the worm you've put on the hook. It seemed like a waste of time to me. But of course, I wasn't going to let anyone notice that today. Today I'd be a fisherman if they wanted me to be one.

"He's always in a much better mood when he's fishing," Bella whispered in my ear as she walked passed me to get our coats. Oh yeah, good idea. Keeping the man as happy as possible before he could start hating my guts.

Charlie's fishing spot was actually a really quite, beautiful place. There were little patches of grass but there were big rocks everywhere and all of this was surrounded by trees.

Bella had told me her father liked to keep this place a secret to everyone else in town as he was convinced that it was the best spot to catch something. I was suddenly hopeful that everything with Charlie would work out fine. I mean, he had allowed me to be in his secret place... I guessed my first impression hadn't been that bad after all.

We sat down on one of the biggest rocks and I watched Bella and Charlie getting settled. Bella showed me how to work with the fishing rod and as much as I actually wanted to try it – to make a good impression and all that – I decided to keep away from the thing. Last thing I wanted to do was break one of Charlie's beloved fishing poles.

"So, I guess I'm finally allowed to ask more about you now?" Charlie said after a while, briefly looking at Bella before diverting his full attention to me. Uh-oh. Dead man sitting by the riverside.

"Dad,"Bella said, her voice a bit alarmed, "Be nice, okay?"

I was starting to shift on my rock, feeling more nervous than ever. I knew I had to speak up. Say something. I wanted to be the one to do the talking. I didn't want Bella to tell him everything. I didn't know why exactly but I wanted him to hear our story from me.

Maybe because I was afraid Bella would try to make me look better and stuff and I didn't want that. I wanted to be honest with Charlie. Not only because I knew that we wouldn't be able to fool him, but also because he deserved to know the truth about the man who was currently living with his daughter.

The moment I wanted to start talking, my entire mind went blank. Everything I had prepared in the car, every word I wanted to say was gone, like someone had turned off some switch inside my brain.

Before I allowed myself to freak out – because that wouldn't help either – I took a few deep breaths and then it hit me. I didn't need to give him a speech or ramble on about stuff; I just needed to tell him what mattered and how I felt about his daughter.

So I did. I started talking, about everything. About how I met Bella and how amazing and wonderful she had been to me, giving me a chance to start my life over again not caring about the sacrifices she had to make. I told him about my criminal record and the fact that it was based on false accusations. I told him about my family and how I had found my sister back thanks to Bella. And last but not least I told him about the way his daughter had stolen my heart and I tried to explain how much she meant to me. I tried, because I couldn't even comprehend how important she was to me.

He listened to me. He really did. Not once did he interrupt, only nodding and a weird glance every once in a while. I appreciated that he at least gave me a chance to explain everything without immediately giving me a hard time.

When I was finished I was satisfied with whatever had come out of my mouth but I was starting to feel slightly uncomfortable when he didn't say anything. Nothing. He was just staring at his fishing rod, his face blank. I could literally see the wheels in his head turning and it was killing me. It was killing me not to know what he was thinking and I could see that Bella was feeling exactly the same.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally turned towards us, looking from me to Bella and back to me. When he opened his mouth I braced myself for whatever he had to say and prayed – yes I really prayed – that I wouldn't lose Bella.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry for the cliffie. Oh wait, I'm not really sorry. *angel face*_

_Anyway, thank you for reading and still sticking with me. I'm really startled by the response I get. _

_Thanks to MidnightSunSC17. She deserves an award for dealing with me and my pushiness. _

_REVIEW = SNEAK PEEK (I guess you'll need it this time 'round? :'D)_

_Oh, and one more thing: If you're interested, you can check out my other fanfic, __**Falling Deeply**__, a BxE one shot, only about 7000 words. ;) You can find it on my page :) _

_X Ellen_


	22. Home sweet home

**Chapter 22: Home sweet home**

"I'm very protective of my little girl, Edward," he said, his voice monotonous. Oh fuck, now it was going to start. I knew what was coming and I was nowhere near ready to get all of the bad stuff thrown back in my face. So I did what I thought was the best in this situation. I apologized.

"I'm sorry, sir, I really am," I said, my head bowed down. I was afraid to look him in the eyes, afraid to see the rejection. "I know I'm not the perfect son-in-law you probably had in mind for your daughter. I know I'm not that guy, not even close. And I know Bella deserves the best, even more than that. She definitely deserves more than what I can offer her but I..." And that where he stopped me.

"Calm down there, boy." The chuckle that followed made me jerk my head up towards him. I must have looked confused because Charlie seemed quite amused by the look on my face. I was looking back and forth between Bella and her father, wondering what I had said to cause such a reaction.

"I'm going to be honest with you," Charlie said, his voice back to normal and every trace of laughter gone again. "You are indeed not exactly what I had in mind for Bella." My heart dropped in my stomach and I felt rejection lurking around the corner.

"But then again, it doesn't matter what I want for her, right? I should encourage everything that makes my little girl happy and you, Edward, you clearly make her happy."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was about to pinch my arm to check if I was awake.

"I knew something or someone must have happened when she didn't call me every other day and when she wasn't visiting as often and then, when she told me she would be bringing someone home this weekend I instantly knew it." In the corner of my eye I could see Bella, who was desperately trying to make sure no one noticed that she was on the verge of crying, happy tears, of course. And I guess by then I must have been smiling like a lunatic again because Charlie called me out on it.

"You see, you should look at the two of you now," he snickered.

Suddenly Bella had her arms wrapped around her father and once again he was clearly feeling uneasy because of this display of affection.

When they parted, Charlie had his full attention on me again, but it didn't scare me the way it did before.

"Look, you can't expect me to be all too happy about this."

_Uh-oh_. "But I'm willing to give you a chance, just because you seem to be trying to get yourself together again."

Well, it was more than I hoped for. "I won't let you down, sir," I said and I meant it. More than anything.

"Good." A genuine smile lightened up his face and I let out the breath I didn't even know I was holding.

"Oh and drop the 'sir', it makes me feel like I'm eighty," he added with a grin on his face.

"Aren't you?" Bella laughed and pretty soon the light mood was back and I had survived the part of the weekend I had dreaded the most.

* * *

><p>To my biggest relief I had an amazing day at the river, just sitting, small talk - mostly about little Bella - and just enjoying the rare nice weather in Forks.<p>

And on top of that it appeared to be a productive day as well, because both Bella and Charlie had managed to catch two fish. Guess we would be having fish for dinner tonight.

I really felt like Charlie was giving me a chance, trying to make me feel as comfortable as possible and including me in the conversations. All of that; even though he knew I wasn't the best fellow out there. I respected him for that, I really did.

He was so different from my parents, putting his daughter's wishes and needs first and looking past the fact that I could actually harm his reputation in this little town. I mean, the chief's daughter was dating a criminal, that didn't sound like something you could brag about, right?

I could very much imagine the look on my parent's faces if the roles would have been turned around, where Bella would be someone with a corrupt past. I was certain they would instantly show their disapproval and I wouldn't be surprised if they wouldn't hide it from her. Hell, they would probably even call me out on it, asking me if I had lost my mind by putting them in this situation, and on top of that, they wouldn't be ashamed by asking that in front of her.

They would be furious because by dating someone below their class, I would be taking down their beloved reputation. I wouldn't even be surprised if they would just emotionlessly ask me to end things with Bella.

I guessed I was lucky Charlie's more considerate.

It was already late when we were back at the house and Bella decided to start preparing the fish while Charlie sat down on the couch. I offered her to help her in the kitchen but she said she would be fine on her own. I guessed she only said that so I would be forced to go back to the living room and spend some time with her father.

Being with her father while Bella's around is one thing, but without Bella... Not quite a risk I was willing to take just yet. It was pretty clear that Charlie only liked me because I made his daughter happy so maybe if she wasn't around he'd go all protective dad on me.

"Come on, Edward, he doesn't bite," Bella said, almost pushing me out of the kitchen. Yep, she definitely wanted us to bond.

"But he does have a gun," I replied weakly, although I knew I didn't have to be scared of that anymore.

Bella won our little argument by throwing a pout in the game and with a sigh I made my way to the living room. I could feel my heart beating in my chest as I took place on the couch - as far away from Charlie as possible.

When he noticed me he gave me a genuine smile and I instantly felt the muscles in my body relax. He was watching a football game but my knowledge of that matter wasn't big enough to start a conversation about it, so I remained silent and watched the screen even though I didn't know what was happening.

Every once in a while, Charlie would glance at me, but it wasn't something bad. I guessed he was just checking out whether I liked the game or not. I  
>tried to look interested but I failed.<p>

"Not a football fan?" he asked, startling me by talking after a long silence.

"Not really," I admitted, a little embarrassed because he had caught me. Might as well be honest.

"Good, because Bella would probably kick you out if you were. She once said she watched enough football with me to last a lifetime," he snickered.

I didn't even have to pretend to laugh at his joke.

"What's so funny?" Bella's voice snapped us both out of our laughs. She was standing behind the couch, hands on her hips, looking cuter than ever.

Charlie just waved it off, so her attention was suddenly all on me. I just raised my hands defensively and pointed at her father. He was the one to make the joke, so he could explain it.

"Men," she huffed, rolling her eyes when neither of us made an attempt to make it clear to her. She couldn't have been mad, not even if she wanted to, because she couldn't look past the fact that we were getting along. Yeah, quite a surprise, right?

"Anyway, dinner is ready," she added before going back into the kitchen.

Say dinner to Charlie and he's sitting at the table in no time. I could hardly hold back a snicker at his eagerness when he loaded his plate full with the delicious food Bella had prepared for us.

"I have been to long without your cooking, Bells," Charlie said, stuffing another potato in his mouth.

"This isn't so hard to make, dad. I've already tried to teach you, but you wouldn't listen."

"Because I know it won't be as good as yours," he shrugged.

When we had all eaten enough, I started to clear the table. You know, showing that I was a good guy and stuff. Bella quickly joined in and we did the dishes together. She washed and I dried, like the perfect team we are.

Afterwards we joined Charlie in the living room where he was watching reruns of Cops. It was nice to see how Bella and Charlie interacted. I couldn't quite call it a father-daughter relationship - although that is how they referred to each other - but I saw them more like friends, good old palls. The goofy laughs, the jokes, the love as well of course, the protectiveness but yet only wanting the other person to be happy,... It was all there and I guessed that bond had grown, probably without them even being aware of it, with the dead of Bella's mother. Bella had to grow up faster than any other girl of her age because she had to take care of her father, who in his turn had to work to take care of her. By doing so, she probably hadn't had quite the normal life any other teenager with a mom and dad had, and Charlie didn't have to deal with the problems that came with having a teenagers living under your roof.

I guessed that must be the reason why they were so close now. They only had each other back then and I couldn't look past the fact that these events had also shaped her into the woman she is now. Loving, caring and mostly; independent.

"I'm going to sleep," Bella suddenly said, suppressing a yawn. I quickly threw a glance at the large clock in the living room and noticed it was already past 11PM. How long had I been lost in my mind? I wondered if they'd noticed...

All of the sudden I realized we hadn't gone over sleeping arrangements yet, but I guessed it was pretty obvious I would be sleeping on the couch. I thought I couldn't ask more from Charlie just yet. And I was fine with it, even though this would result in not much sleep for me. I was used to sleeping next to Bella and I was fairly sure that I would miss her presence.

"So I guess the couch is mine?" I said, snickering, because there was no avoiding it. Might as well show that I wasn't having any illusions.

"Ho Bella, he's got the brain, that guy of yours," Charlie laughed. That one single sentence was enough to make my day even better. First; Charlie laughed with one of my jokes. Bingo. Secondly; there was a statement about being smart in there, right? Bingo again. And most importantly, he called me 'Bella's guy'. Triple bingo!

Bella quickly made her way over to me with a pillow and a blanket, pouting before quickly giving me a kiss when her father was 'accidentally' looking in the opposite direction. I was really starting to like this man, seriously!

After a kiss on Charlie's forehead, Bella disappeared on the staircase, leaving me alone with her father.

"Well, I guess the old man should be going to bed as well," he said, rising from the couch.

Before going up the stairs as well, he looked back at me, giving me a genuine smile and adding "You're a good guy, Edward."

I returned the smile and mumbled a thank you, 'cause really... What are you supposed to say? 'Yeah, I know' wouldn't do it. Not even if I believed it myself. And I wasn't quite eager to start discussing with him. Not that mumbling something was a better way to react...

Well at least I wouldn't have to worry about being killed in my sleep now.

* * *

><p>I woke up by the sound of silverware being placed on the table so Bella or Charlie must already be awake and making breakfast. I pulled myself up from the couch to peek over the edge to see who was preparing everything in the kitchen. I quickly realized I couldn't see it from over here, so I let myself fall back on my pillow and focussed on the noise to make out who was already awake.<p>

Not too heavy steps. It must be Bella. And then I heard loud steps coming down the stairs, indicating that it was indeed my girl in the kitchen.

The minute I got up from the couch, Bella was at my side. "How did you sleep, champ?" she asked, after giving me a little kiss. A huge smile was brightening her face and it was infectious.

"Not as good as when I spend the night with you," I admitted softly, so Charlie definitely wouldn't hear it. "You?"

"Same."

I quickly threw a glance towards the kitchen and when I saw Charlie wasn't anywhere near I pulled Bella closer and kissed her the way she deserved to be kissed.

"Now go get cleaned up and dressed," she said, playfully smacking my ass when our lips finally parted. I gave her a little pout before retreating to the bathroom.

It was not hard to notice Bella was slightly different here than how she was in Seattle. She was happier, more free. It only made me realize how much she must miss her real home whenever she's away from it. I made a mental note to remember to visit Charlie as often as possible. And if he would see the effort I did to get Bella here, he might actually start liking me because of who I am, and not because Bella liked me.

I quickly put on some fresh clothes and joined Bella and her father in the kitchen for breakfast.

They were animatedly talking so I just took my seat hoping that I wasn't interfering. If I was they probably would have gotten silent by now anyway.

"We were kind of brainstorming about things we could do today," Bella said, letting me in on their conversation.

"Oh," was all I could respond.

I would have been pleased with just spending the day by the river again, talking about trivial stuff. But I guessed they had other plans. Fine to me, as long as I got to be with Bella and not in any danger of making myself look bad in front of Charlie.

"There really is not much to do in Forks, I'm afraid," Bella said, taking another bite of her toast.

"We could always..." Charlie started but was suddenly interrupted by the ringtone of his mobile phone. He quickly retrieved it from his pocket and checked the display before excusing him from the table to take the call.

I must have been giving Bella a weird glance 'cause she just shrugged her shoulders, indicating that it was nothing to worry about. I had just put the last piece of toast in my mouth when Charlie returned from the living room.

"I'm sorry. There has been a small incident at the station and they kind of need my help," he said, an apologetic look on his face. "I know I promised it to be our weekend, but..."

"It's okay, dad, go," Bella interrupted him, a little smile on her lips, indicating that she really wasn't annoyed by this at all.

"I'll be back in two hours, tops!" he said, already putting on his coat and making his way outside.

The minute Charlie was out the door, Bella turned her full attention to me and her lips had turned into an evil smirk. What did my girl have in mind?

She quickly got up from her chair and came to sit on my lap. Her fingers started playing with the upper button of my shirt. "Soo, we have two hours and an entire house to ourselves," she said, the smirk grower bigger and bigger. Well, at least it matched the what was going on in my pants. Sue me, but the fact that she was wriggling in my lap didn't help the situation there.

"Bella, you don't know when he'll be back," I said, defensive. As much as I was turned on right now, the last thing I needed was Charlie coming back sooner than mentioned and walking in on us.

Na-ah, not gonna happen."When he leaves for work he never comes back within an hour," Bella said, her fingers already on the second button and her eyes never leaving mine.

"But this was a small incident," I argued.

"It always is, but still, he's always gone for quite a while."

"I don't think you're father would still like me if he caught us," I said, shuddering at the thought of it.

"We could always go to my room. That way we can hear when he pulls in and..."

That's all she had to say to convince me. I quickly scooped her up and made my way up the stairs, towards her bedroom.

* * *

><p><em>AN: And we all know what's going to happen now ;)_

_REVIEW = Sneak peek!_

_Oh and of course, thanks to MidnightSunSC17 for being wonderful! _

_Love, Ellen_


	23. Carefree

_A/N: From now I'll always try to update Saturday evenings. _

_See you again at the bottom ;)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23: Carefree<strong>

BPOV:

I knew my dad was a reasonable man. But I couldn't say that I wasn't scared shitless to introduce Edward to him. I knew I had to act like I wasn't afraid, because Edward was already scared enough for both of us, but inside I was freaking out.

The moment Charlie had started the conversation at the river my anxiety had reached its limit. Edward on the other hand suddenly seemed to know how to handle everything and just started talking, explaining everything and in that moment I couldn't have been more proud of him.

I knew that if I had to tell everything to my father, I would have made Edward look better, no doubt about that, but he didn't. He was honest and I realized that this would be the best in the end.

My heart stopped beating when Charlie finally responded but I let go of the breath I was holding the when he told Edward he'd give him a chance. Relief washed through my body and I couldn't keep myself from hugging my father.

Everything was going to be okay and for the first time I finally allowed myself to be just happy and without worries. It felt amazing.

But unfortunately by the end of the weekend we had to go back to Seattle. And it was even harder than before to say goodbye to Forks, even though I didn't hate Seattle that much anymore now Edward was around. It was just different. The weekend had been so carefree and light and I desperately wanted to hold on to that mood. I didn't want to go back to the real world, where a job was waiting for me and bills and stuff, but there was no avoiding it.

So after a short goodbye with a hug from my side, a firm handshake from Edward and the promise to visit more often, we left.

I remained silent for about half of the drive back home, fixing my eyes on the road until I suddenly realized that on this exact road I had met Edward about five months ago.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, concerned. He reached out his hand and wiped away a tear I didn't know was there.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, a smile spreading across my face. I really was fine. "Thinking about the last time I drove here."

His lips curved into a breathtaking smile as well and once again I was so grateful that this man was mine. "I have been thinking about it as well," he admitted, the smile still plastered on his face.

"Why were you walking here anyway?" I asked, realizing I didn't even know why he was on such a deserted road instead of wandering around in a city, where he had a bigger chance of survival.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "I just didn't like to stay in one place for a long time so I was always on the move."

"And now?" His answer had me worried. I was keeping him at the same place for quite a long time now and I had never asked him whether he liked it or not.

"Now what?" he asked with a look of confusion.

"How do you feel about staying at the same place now," I said, slightly nervous and I knew he could tell I was, because I was unconsciously biting my lip again.

"Bella, I'd stay in a goddamn box at the same goddamn place if that meant I could be with you," he replied forcefully, no shred of doubt in his voice.

Another tear escaped my eye at his declaration and I hated being so damn emotional.

I managed to keep my feelings in check for the rest of the drive home and neither of us said anything, but it didn't feel uncomfortable.

I quickly tossed my handbag on the floor and let myself fall down on the couch, exhausted because of the lack of sleep.

"Maybe we should just go to sleep already," I said, knowing that I wouldn't be able to keep my eyes open much longer.

Edward just nodded and shrugged when he lifted me off the couch and carried me bridal style towards the bedroom. We quickly changed into our pyjamas and climbed under the covers. I was more than content that I could rest my head on his chest again tonight because last night I realized I hated sleeping without him.

* * *

><p>Monday morning. Is there any time of the week more horrible than a Monday morning?<p>

I had to drag myself out of bed this morning, away from the cosiness and the warmth of Edward's body, already hating this day because of that.

And then the stupid coffee machine decided to just stop working so that only fuelled my agitation and I instantly knew this day would be one of those days where every little thing would be enough to set you off. I closed the cabinet a little too forceful so it ended up bouncing open again. After another kick from my foot it stayed closed.

"What did that poor cabinet do to you?" Edward said, appearing behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. I instantly relaxed against his chest, feeling the agitation leaving my body the minute his lips connected with my neck.

How on Earth did he do that? A minute ago I was ready to snap at whoever said something to me and now I was back to being my usual calm self.

So thanks to Edward I managed to get through a Monday at work without getting annoyed again because of little things and before I even realized it, it was time to go home again.

Edward wouldn't be home for another hour so I decided to clean the place a bit. It's not that it was a mess since he moved in, but I didn't clean as much as I used to. When I lived alone, cleaning was a useful pass-time so I never really hated doing it, but now it was just a time I couldn't spend with Edward so yeah, I wasn't really keen of it anymore.

When my man finally arrived home I quickly put the cleaning supplies back where they belonged and threw my arms around him, glad to have some time together tonight. Yeah, as much as I loved to spend time with my father, I hated to hold back when it came to Edward. No kisses, no touching and keeping distance. It was a miracle that I had been able to do it. If I had a choice in the matter my skin would always be touching his. Every second of every day. No exceptions.

I stood on tiptoes to brush my lips across his and he instantly hummed in response, wrapping his arms around me.

"Had a rough day?" I asked, when I noticed the exhaustion in his eyes.

"Yeah, and Suzy kept asking me about the weekend and about Charlie and she literally gave me a headache."

"Aww, poor baby." I ran my hand through his hair, rubbing his head as I tried to stop giggling.

"Yeah," he chuckled, trying to pout, but failing.

I was about to lead him to the couch because I still had about an hour before I would have to start dinner when suddenly I suddenly heard my ringtone from across the room. With a groan, I got up and checked my display, groaning again when I saw the five letters that made me want to crawl in a hole for the next year. "Alice," I explained.

"I think you should take that one," Edward laughed, knowing that if I ignored it, Alice would probably go into Bridezilla mode because I had already declined all of her calls for more than a weekend. I hadn't really wanted to deal with the bride to be when I already had to deal with my dad liking Edward.

I cautiously answered the phone and prepared myself for the worst. "Where the hell have you been?" Alice yelled in my ear. I flinched at her harsh tone and really hoped she wasn't mad. I quickly explained her about our trip to Forks and she seemed to relax and was genuinely interested in how it had all worked out.

"Charlie didn't kill Edward?" she asked, a bit surprised after I had given her a short summary of the weekend.

"No, not even an attempt," I replied, and just the thought of it made me all happy again.

"Bella, we need to celebrate this!" she exclaimed, already making plans to go out this weekend.

Give Alice Brandon a reason to throw a party and she's on it.

I glanced over at Edward, mouthing the word 'party' to ask if he was up to it. He just shrugged, letting me know he didn't really care about.

"Oh come on, Bella, it has been ages since we have gone out together," she wined and I finally gave in. "Okay, but nothing too extreme, deal?"

"Deal!" she said and I could almost see her doing her excitement dance.

"So, I guess we're going out next weekend," I stated, glancing back at Edward once I had put my phone back in my purse. At least because of these arrangements Alice hadn't said anything about her wedding.

Edward quickly scooted closer to me and wrapped his arms back around me. "I can't wait to dance with my girl," he whispered in my ear. That was all it took for me to look forward to next weekend.

* * *

><p>The week had passed in a blur. The files at work had piled up over the past few weeks and I was starting to feel like I couldn't manage it on my own anymore. But of course I would never go and complain to my boss, Billy Black, because I desperately wanted to proof myself to him.<p>

All of these extra strains wore me out to the point where I would come home and just crash on the couch, completely exhausted.

Edward had been really understanding about it, and did the best he could to take care of me, like cooking for both of us and buying groceries and stuff, but I could see the concern in his eyes every time I almost fell asleep in the living room the minute I came home.

"It's just for a few weeks, until I'm through these files," I said when I saw he was going to comment again when I came home on Friday evening.

"Yeah, I know," he sighed, "But I'm just wondering if you'll be able to get through tomorrow night."

"I'm just going to sleep in tomorrow morning and I'll be just fine," I said, smiling at the thought of finally being able to sleep in again.

"Sure? Because if you're afraid to call Alice to cancel the whole thing, I will do it for you."

"No, I'm fine. And besides, I'm looking forward to dancing with my man as well, you know." His eyes lit up when I mentioned it and I could easily tell he wasn't going to try to get out of it again.

We remained calm for the rest of the evening, flipping though some tv channels but never really settling for anything. I wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway, so it didn't matter.

When I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore I got up and dragged Edward towards the bedroom. The second my head hit the pillow, I was out cold.

When I opened my eyes again, the room was lit by the sun beaming though the curtains. I turned to check the alarm clock and noticed it was already past 2PM. Even though I wasn't tired anymore I closed my eyes for another five minutes, just because I could.

Then I finally dragged my ass to the bathroom, taking a quick shower.

After I had towelled myself off, I noticed how much better I looked compared to the past week. The dark circles under my eyes were gone and my skin wasn't as pale anymore. I couldn't be bothered about my cloths because I knew that in a few hours I'd be changing into something fancier to go out, so I just put on the first things I found in my drawer.

"Good afternoon," Edward said with a smirk as I walked into the living room.

"Hey," I mumbled in response, already heading for the kitchen to get some food in my empty stomach.

"I put a plate of lasagne in the fridge for you," he called out.

Lasagne for breakfast? Oh well, why not?

I quickly put the plate in the microwave and went to the fridge to get myself a glass of water. I gulped it down at once and filled another one before putting the bottle back in its place.

When the lasagne was heated, I took my plate and joined Edward in the living room. He was watching some kind of documentary about all kinds of weird animals like flying fish and big insects. I would never choose to watch this stuff but I actually found it quite interesting even though half of those things on the screen freaked me out.

"I think you should better start to get ready," Edward said after a few hours, "Alice is going to be here in about an hour."

I looked at the clock, surprised the time had once again passed so quickly. I got up from the couch and went back to my bedroom to pick an outfit. I didn't want to look too flirty because this time I wouldn't be looking for some guy as I would already have the perfect man next to me, but I still wanted to look somewhat sexy so Edward would be proud to have me.

I finally settled for dark blue skinny jeans and a wine red tank top and decided to let my hair hang loose in soft curls. When I was applying some subtle make-up, I heard the bell chime and a second later Alice's chatter filled the apartment.

I quickly joined everyone in the living room and saw that Edward was already dressed in dark jeans and a white button up. To say he looked good would be an understatement.

I actually contemplated ditching Alice for a second because I wanted this man all to myself tonight.

But of course, you don't cancel your plans with Alice Brandon unless you have a very, very good reason, so we headed out, stepping into the taxi where Jasper was still waiting for us.

He was wearing a kind of weird white shirt with a light blue print on it and I was about to give him a confused look and ask him about his choice of clothes but then I realized he only wore that one because it matched Alice's little blue tight dress.

I really hoped Jasper'd had a say in what he had to wear but to be honest, I doubted it.

Don't get me wrong though, Jasper wasn't afraid to speak up to his fiancée, but sometimes it was just easier to go with whatever Alice wanted to keep her pleased.

The taxi pulled up in front of Sixtyone, a small club I had been once before with Alice. It was cool, not too obscene, just a nice place to go out to dance.

"First round of shots is on me," Alice yelled as she practically dragged the three of us into the club. The loud music hurt my ears for the first few seconds we were inside and I could feel the bass in my stomach.

We quickly scanned the room, the dark blue light giving everything a nightly glow. The dance floor was pretty crowded already but it wasn't that bad yet. The balconies around the square floor on the other hand were full of people.

Once we arrived at the bar, Alice paid for the first round, as promised, and we all gulped it down, eager for a carefree night.

Another up-to-tempo song started to play and Alice started clapping her hands enthusiastically, probably knowing the song. I watched as she dragged Jasper away, into the crowd, leaving Edward and me alone at the bar.

"So much for going out with Alice," Edward laughed as he watched them disappear.

I chuckled as I ordered myself another drink. Yes, I wouldn't mind getting a bit drunk tonight. It had been a while since I had let go of everything and since we had something to celebrate I figured tonight was the perfect night to do so.

"So, can I have that dance now," Edward suddenly asked after I had another few drinks and was starting to feel like I was floating. He wrapped his arms around me protectively and nuzzled my neck. I hummed in response and he walked us towards the dance floor, never letting go of me.

Once we found a spot that wasn't too packed with people but wasn't deserted as well, he placed his hands on my hips and started swaying to the rhythm of the music.

He smirked down at me, before running his lips over my neck again. "You do realize every guy in this room is jealous of me, right?" he said as he continued to attack my skin.

"And you do realize every girl in this room wishes it was her neck you were nipping at," I said in response. And I was true. I had lost count of all the girls that had already ogled my man throughout the evening. But one deadly glare of me was enough for them to back off and know that he was taken.

"You the only one I want," he said, looking straight into my eyes now, looking so sincere my heart started beating even quicker and tears started to well up in my eyes.

"Good," I whispered and after a while I added, "And I only want you."

We only interrupted our dancing to go back to the bar to buy another cocktail or beer, but I was already starting to back off. I didn't want to get wasted so Edward would have to drag my ass out of this club like I had seen happen many times to other girls.

We ran into Jasper and Alice who practically owned the floor tonight and suddenly Alice pulled me away from Edward and started dancing with me. I was instantly reminded of those old times, when it was just Alice and me going out, without any of the boys.

Now they were standing a few feet away, looking at us with a huge smirk on their faces. The alcohol was running through my system and I achieved what I had in mind for tonight: to be carefree.

"You're like my sister," Alice slurred, obviously already having drunk enough too. I laughed at her cheesiness that always came out when she was drunk but she was right though. Alice was like a sister to me and I loved her just like she was one.

When the song turned into another one I pulled her from the floor, heading back towards our men.

On our way back, my foot caught behind someone else's foot and I started falling head forward.

"Hoooo there," Edward laughed as he caught me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I think I should get you home."

"Edward, I'm not drunk, I'm just clumsy," I giggled. I really wasn't drunk. A little tipsy but I still knew what I was doing or saying.

"Yeah, but it's already 3AM and you had a rough week," he said and I realized he was right so we headed over to Alice and Jasper, saying our goodbyes for the night. I was happy to see that Jasper wasn't as drunk as Alice was so I knew they would at least get home safe.

I must have already fallen asleep during the ride home because the last thing I remember was Edward carrying me up the stairs towards my apartment and mumbling to go back to sleep.

I happily obliged.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Don't have much to say today.:')_

_Besides that MidnightSunSC17 is truly wonderful AND awesome master ninja ;)_

_REVIEW = SNEAK PEEK _

_Love, Ellen _


	24. No more alcohol for you!

**Chapter 24: No more alcohol for you**

I felt myself waking up, my eyes still closed, and completely content.

My head was throbbing a little but it wasn't that bad. I wasn't going to need any medication to soothe the pain of a hangover which relieved me. I hated swallowing pills, no matter how tiny they were.

I slowly opened my eyes, adjusting to the lighting and tried to turn around to face Edward when I was hit by a wave of nausea. I quickly jumped out of bed and hurried towards the bathroom, emptying my stomach in the toilet.  
>Okay, maybe I had a little more to drink than I initially thought. No big deal.<p>

Edward rushed into the bathroom, his hair sticking in every direction possible and his eyes still thick with sleep. He had probably heard that I had just puked my guts out and as much as I appreciated that he got up instantly to check on me, I didn't need him to see me that way.

"I'm fine, Edward," I said, already feeling slightly better, "You don't have to stay."

He didn't listen though and crouched down beside me, rubbing my back soothingly.

"Can you get me a glass of water?" I asked after a while, wanting to get rid of the nasty taste in my mouth. I would have gotten up myself to get one if I was sure it wouldn't result in another round of dry-heaving.

"Of course."

He quickly filled a glass and handed it to me without another word. I gulped it down, feeling it settle in my now empty stomach.

Edward stayed with me on the bathroom floor for a little longer before declaring he was going to make us breakfast. The word alone made my stomach twist again and I braced myself for the water to come up again.

"Remind me to never let you drink so much alcohol again," he said, planting a kiss on my temple.

"I didn't even have that much to drink," I mumbled. I really hadn't. There have been nights where I had drunk a lot more and afterwards I wasn't feeling like this at all.

Maybe I had mixed a few drinks I shouldn't have mixed together...  
>"Yeah, well, at least I know it's the alcohol and I don't have to worry that you're pregnant. Imagine me having to take care of a baby," he laughed before heading towards the kitchen.<p>

I shrugged at his lame attempt of a joke and sat up against the bathroom wall, taking a few deep breaths, when all of a sudden it hit me.

I quickly hurried out of the bathroom, not even thinking about the nausea anymore and picked up my cell phone to check the date.

April 23th.

I froze for a moment, my mind racing a million miles per hour as I was trying to get a grip on the situation. _Fuck no, this cannot be happening._

My hand reached out and settled on my flat stomach. I noticed Edward's phone was still on his night stand so I headed over to pick it up, hoping my cell phone just had the wrong date programmed.

But it hadn't.

April 23th as well.

I was late.

Not even a day or two but a whole week.

And I was never late.

Ever.

How was this even possible? I was on birth control, and I was one hundred percent sure I had never missed one pill.

There had to be an explanation for this. There had to be one. I was just overlooking something. A detail that would explain all of this.

I couldn't be pregnant. There was no way I was pregnant.

I was on birth control for Christ sake! And isn't that why I take those stupid pills, to keep myself from getting pregnant?

Panic was settling in and I felt my stomach turn again. I fled back towards the bathroom, dry-heaving but nothing left my stomach as it was still empty. But that didn't take away the fact that it hurt like hell.

"Seriously, are you okay?" Edward's voice startled me and I looked at him, my eyes probably full of panic. "Do you want me to get you some kind of medication?"

I shook my head, unable to form any words.

I couldn't tell him. I had to be sure first.

_Yeah, well, at least I know it's the alcohol and I don't have to worry that you're pregnant_

Edward's words from less than ten minutes ago rang through my ears and I had to fight back the tears.

What if I indeed was pregnant?

He wouldn't want it; at least that was what he had let me know with that sentence.

"Could you call Alice?" I choked out. I needed to talk to her. Ask her out about all of this. Maybe I was just overreacting and overlooking some stupid detail.

"Hey, I can take care of you as well," he said, concern still noticeable in his voice. He was rubbing my back again and as much as it soothed me a few minutes ago, it now made me uncomfortable.

"I know, but I'd be more comfortable if you didn't have to see me this way," I lied.

"If that's what you want," he said, and I could hear the disappointment.

I knew he could take care of me, he would be amazing at it, no doubt about that, but I needed Alice and I needed her now. God, I really hoped she wasn't hung-over because then she wouldn't be much of a help either.

"She's on her way," he stated as he came back in the bathroom after finishing the phone call. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"No, thanks," I croaked out, resting my head against the wall and trying to stay calm until Alice was here.

Only twenty minutes later Alice bolted into the room, a smug look on her face. "Well well, did our Bella drink a little too much yesterday?"

I would have laughed at her tone if I wasn't panicking so much.

"Bella, are you okay?" she suddenly asked, concern all over her face, when she saw the state I was in. I suddenly noticed I was heavily trembling and had trouble with breathing.

I shook my head. "I need to talk to you," I choked out.

"I am here, shoot!" she said as she came to sit next to me on the bathroom floor.

"Is Edward still around?" I whispered, afraid that he might hear our conversation and that is the last way how I wanted him to find out, if it were true.

"He's in the kitchen, why?" Alice looked at me, trying to read my features and suddenly her eyes grew wide. "He didn't hurt you, did he? Oh god, Bella, I swear, if he hit you or something I'm going to..."

"He didn't hurt me," I interrupted, not wanting Alice to think that way.

"Oh okay, then why do you obviously not want him to hear this?"

I didn't say anything, I just stared at her and after a while she grabbed her cell phone, pressed speed dial and waited for the person on the other end to pick up.

"Baby, I need you to do me a favour," she said, obviously talking to Jasper, "Can you come to Bella's place and take Edward some place. I don't care where; he just has to leave for a while." I managed to give her a little smile, happy she was listening to me. "No, I don't know what happened but nothing too bad I think... Okay. Love you."

She tossed the phone back into her purse and gave me another concerned look.

"Is it something bad?" she whispered, careful not to let Edward hear anything.

Was it bad? It would be bad if Edward ended up freaking out about it, otherwise everything would be fine, I guess. But I didn't know how he would react so up until now I had no idea how this would end.

God, and I didn't even know if I was pregnant yet, although I was fairly sure I was. Don't ask me how it had happened, because I don't know, but I just knew I was. A woman knows such things.

Alice kept staring at me, waiting for an answer I simply couldn't give her yet.

"Are you still feeling sick or can we move to the bedroom?" she finally asked when she noticed I wasn't going to speak.

I just nodded and let her pull me of the floor. The nausea was completely gone now but I could still feel the panic running through my body.

A few minutes after I had curled up on the bed, Jasper arrived, entering the room, followed by a still concerned-looking Edward. I felt bad for keeping him out of this but I knew I first had to calm down about it myself and be sure about it all before I dragged him into this.

"Edward, it looks as if we can't do much here, can we? Maybe we should just get out of here and do some bro stuff." Jasper, ever so subtle.

Edward just gave him a weird look, shaking his head. "I'm not going to leave her here while she's sick," he stated, clearly staying put.

Instead of giving up, Jasper walked over to him and whispered something in Edward's ear. I saw Edward's eyes widening and all of the sudden he was in for a bro-day as they had named it now.

I wonder what Jasper had said to him to get him to agree but I knew it didn't matter.

They quickly hurried out of the room, as if they had realized that whatever I had was contagious.

I furrowed my brow at their odd behaviour but was happy there were gone.

"Spill," Alice said, looking expectantly at me. I waited 'til I heard the door closing so I was completely sure they weren't around anymore before I spoke.

"I, euhm, I think I might be pregnant." Yes, straightforward. There was no way to go around it. Either I was pregnant or I wasn't.

Alice her face fell. Her eyes, filled with shock, rolled almost out of her head.

"You think..."

"Yes, Alice, I think. I don't know."

"Did you already do a test?" she asked, immediately slipping into her what you could call business mode.

"No, I don't have one here."

"I'll go get you one," she said, already getting up and walking towards the door. "You stay here."

I raised my hands in surrender. As if I would go anywhere now.

Alice quickly left with the promise to be back in a few minutes. When I heard the door close behind her, I let myself fall back in the cushions, trying to figure out how the hell I had ended up in this situation.

I hadn't come up with an explanation or a way to deal with it all yet when Alice re-entered my room, holding a small box that held the pregnancy test.

After taking a deep breath I took the box out of her hands and retreated into the bathroom. I was only allowing myself to freak out about it all once I knew the result.

In every movie and every book the women who took these kinds of tests were always complaining about how long those three minutes were 'til you had the result and I never understood them. Three minutes, hundred eighty seconds. What was the big deal?

Well, it was a big fucking deal.

I kept pacing, glancing at the test every once in a while and quickly diverting my eyes again, because I didn't want to see anything before the test was completely finished.

And then when the three minutes had finally gone by, I couldn't look at it. Cliché, I know.

But dammit, those two red stripes could change my entire future and I was not ready for this. Not ready for change, in any sort.

When another five minutes later I was still frozen in my spot, too afraid to check the result, Alice knocked on the door, asking me if I was okay.

"I'm fine," I yelled, finally ordering my limbs to move. _Come on, Bella, there is no way back now. Just read the stupid result and deal with it. Maybe you're making a fuss over nothing..._

I carefully took a step towards the little thingy that held the key to my future and held it in front of me. I swallowed hard when the window on the test clearly showed what I had dreaded.

I was pregnant.

"Bella?"

Completely on auto pilot I opened the bathroom door to let my best friend inside. She didn't say anything, just looked at me, hoping I would say anything but after a while she got it. The look on my face must have told her enough.

"And now?" she asked, just as clueless as I was.

"Alice, I'm not ready for this," I whispered. And I really wasn't. I was only twenty one years old for Christ sake. I had just found a stable job. What would they say?

Oh fuck, what would my dad say?

He'd kill Edward. He hadn't done it last weekend, but he would definitely now.

And how on Earth was I going to explain this to Edward?

We weren't ready for this. Our relationship couldn't handle this yet. We were in the exploring phase, trying to get to know each other and acting like teenagers in love. Carefree and happy.

Don't get me wrong though; I wanted a future with Edward and I still do, no doubt about that, but just not yet. Not now. We weren't ready for the next step, and definitely not ready to take care of a child.

"Oh dear, you're shaking," Alice said, wrapping her arms around me, trying to soothe me and stop the panic that was overtaking me.

"He'll leave," I choked out, tears finding their way outside and streaming down my face now.

"Seriously, Bella?" Alice said, her voice sharp, "You really think Edward of all people would leave you just like that because you're pregnant? I thought you knew him a little better than that."

I didn't say anything. I wanted her to be right so badly. Something inside me told me Edward would stay. He wasn't the type of guy to abandon someone, so I wasn't really afraid of him leaving me now. I was afraid of what it would do to our relationship as time went by.

"Do_ you_ want the little one?" she suddenly asked, her voice low.

Did I want it? Well, I don't think I have any choice anymore. He or she is coming whether I liked it or not. There was no way I was going to let anyone take this child away, no matter what Edward thought about it.

But would I welcome the child now I know that there was no way back?

Yes! No doubt about it. I'd love the child just as much as when I had chosen to get pregnant. It wasn't the little one's fault.

"Yes," I said determined now.

"Good, then you're just gonna talk to Edward when he gets home and you'll see that everything will be okay."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked.

"Because I know," she said forcefully, "And hey, the baby will have me. Of course he or she will be okay!"

A smile spread across my face. I could do this. Because I had no doubt that Alice would be there for me, every step of the way.

But then again, I wanted so badly that Edward would be there with me as well. I needed him more than I cared to admit.

* * *

><p>EPOV<p>

Yes, I was worried about Bella. I had never seen her react to alcohol like that, but then again, I had never seen her as drunk as she was yesterday night. Not that she was really that drunk, at least, I didn't think she was.

It doesn't matter though. At that mattered is that my girl was on the bathroom floor, hugging the toilet seat, emptying her stomach and I had never felt so helpless before.

When she asked me to call Alice, I felt even worse. I couldn't take care of her. She wouldn't let me. I didn't understand why she was kind of pushing me away but didn't question her further about it. If she wanted Alice, I would make sure Alice got here.

And then all of the sudden Jasper had come bolting into our apartment as well, asking me to leave with him for some bro day or whatever he had called it.

At first I had refused, not wanting to leave Bella's side. I mean, I would be a fuck-up boyfriend to leave her while she was sick, but then Jasper whispered 'menstruation' in my ear and I couldn't get out of the room fast enough.

No offense, but that is girl stuff and I rather not know the specifics of it.

I actually had a nice time with Jasper, just hanging out, stopping at a bar to drink something, talking about everyday stuff.

But after a few hours I was getting anxious to go home again. Even though I didn't really want to get involved in any of that girly stuff, I did want to check if Bella was already feeling better.

Jasper noticed my agitation and finally suggested to go home again. I happily agreed and hopped of the bar stool and grabbed my coat.

When I opened the door to our apartment, I could practically feel the heavy mood fall on me. Something was definitely wrong here.

I walked inside and was instantly met by Alice who was attempting to leave.

"Is she okay?" I asked, taking her arm to stop her.

"She's not sick anymore," she just said. She was not sick anymore. What kind of an answer was that? Not sick anymore, but there was most definitely something else, I could hear it in her tone. It came off as a warning.

Why was Alice warning me? For what?

And the way she was looking at me, almost threatening. What had I done wrong? Was she mad at me for leaving her with Bella? I thought she wanted to come and take care of her friend.

I practically ran into the bedroom after that, wanting to know what was going on before I got even more confused.

Bella was sitting in the middle of our bed, staring at me with an expression I had never seen before.

"Bella, baby, are you okay?" I asked concerned. Her eyes were still blood-shot and it pained my heart to know she had been crying and I wasn't here to soothe her.

"Edward, I need to tell you something," she said, her voice so fragile. My breathing started to increase. Just the way she said it and the scared look on her face was enough for me to almost freak out.

Over the years I had learned that a light conversation never starts with 'I need to tell you something', definitely not when it's accompanied by the look Bella had on her face now.

I nodded, bracing myself for whatever she was gonna throw at me. She swallowed once more before speaking and uttered the last words I had ever expected to roll over her lips now.

"Edward, you're going to be a father."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Don't worry, not the end of the story yet. There is still so much to tell ;)_

_Reviews = love = SNEAK PEEK_

_Thank you to Cagla_x for the advice and the help!  
>And even though she wasn't able to help me with this chapter, a thank you to MidnightSunSC17 as well, because she's wonderful!<em>

_Love, Ellen_


	25. Daddy

**Chapter 25: Daddy  
><strong>

_~Edward._

Disbelief.

Surprise.

Shock.

Fear.

My heart was ferociously pounding in my chest and that one word ringing in my ears over and over again.

Father.

I was going to be a father.

Me, Edward Cullen, a father.

I would be lying if I hadn't thought about it before, about me being a father. About a future where Bella would agree to marry me and where we would build our own family.

Only I had never thought the future would come so soon. And I hadn't even had a chance to ask her to marry me...

"Edward?" Bella's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, her eyes glued on me, waiting for any kind of reaction. But I was speechless. I was lost as I didn't know how to react. I know I should be happy and stuff but I was still taking everything in.

When I gazed into her eyes I only saw one emotion; fear. She hadn't seen it coming as well, that much was certain.

"Are you sure?" I choked out. I needed to be a hundred percent sure before I was going to allow myself to think about it any further.

She held up what I assumed was a pregnancy test but I had no idea how you were supposed to read one of those things.

"It's only 99, 9 percent effective, but _I know_I'm pregnant, Edward. I can feel it." Her voice was no louder than a whisper and her eyes were diverted from me.

I crouched down in front of her, forcing her to look at me. I had to say something. I had to reassure her. I didn't want to see her so damn scared anymore.

"Hey, we can do this," I said, even though I wasn't really convinced myself, but there was no time to dwell on it. We would have to be there for that child, ready or not. There was no way back and there was no way I was opting abortion.

I won't say that the entire idea of a baby wasn't freaking me out to an extend I had never experienced before, but I also knew that freaking out over it wasn't going to change anything.

"It's a baby, Edward. A child. We have never discussed this before and..."

I laid my finger over her lips, willing her to stop speaking.

"No, we didn't. So how about we talk about it now."

She was looking at me like I had lost my mind. And who knows, I might have. Maybe I was supposed to freak out about this huge news, but all I could think about was a little baby with the same big brown eyes as my girl and dammit, my heart already melted just at the thought of it.

"Look, Bella, it didn't take me long to figure out that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I want a future. I want to marry you someday and I want children someday. There is no shred of doubt about that. And maybe things have moved a little faster now and the sequence of stuff is changed, but I don't care. As long as I have you and we're together to face it, we can do it. I'm not going to say that if we'd had a choice in the matter I wouldn't have waited a few more years before starting a family but I can't even freak out about this because I know this is what I want."

She looked up at me, her eyes glistening with tears. Most of the fear was gone and I could see a flicker of hope nestling in her brown eyes.

"I'm going to love this little one as much as I love you," I continued, "I refuse to make the same mistakes my parents made."

A soft smile spread across her face as she threw herself at me, throwing her arms around my neck and pulling me closer. I wrapped my arms around her middle and allowed to let everything sink in once again.

I was going to be a father.

Happiness.

Joy.

Cheerfulness.

And still an ounce of fear because I wasn't stupid. This was going to be hard on both of us. It would challenge our relationship and both Bella and me as individuals, but I was willing to give everything to succeed.

"I love you," I said, still holding onto my girl.

"I love you too." Yeah, we were going to be fine.

After a while she started to pull back and I reluctantly gave her some space.

"You really think we can do this?" she asked.

"Positive."

Her lips turned into a big smile and I could feel my heart swell at the sight of it.

"One question though," I said, contemplating something for the first time. "How... I mean, how did... I thought you were on birth control?"

"I am," she said, looking as confused as I probably was, "I don't recall ever missing a pill but I did once hear it's not always hundred percent effective." Not always effective? Well, that's lovely. You put your confidence in those little things and then they decide not to work.

"Are you mad?" I glanced up at Bella, who was now nervously chewing her bottom lip.

"Why would I be mad?" I asked.

"I didn't mean to put this upon you," she said softly.

"Bella, I think it takes two people to make a baby," I shrugged, "So I guess you should be mad at me then, because without me, there would be no baby."

"I can't be mad at you."

"Good, because neither can I," I admitted.

"So, what do we do now?" she asked, still chewing that lip of hers.

"Well, I guess we have nine months to prepare ourselves." I was already making a mental note to go to the closest book store tomorrow and buy every book on parenting and babies I could find. Luckily Suzy didn't sell those types of books because I didn't want to think about all the questions that she would shoot at me if I was carrying all of those books home.

"What if nine months is not enough to prepare myself? What if I fuck it all up, Edward?" she asked, fear evident in her voice.

"You won't, Bella, you are a caretaker. You've always taken care of your father and you even took care of me. Don't you dare to doubt yourself! You'll be the best mother in the world."

"And you'll be the best father," she said, a soft smile on her face. I pulled her closer again and breathed in, letting her scent intoxicate me.

We were going to be parents. Real parents.

My heart swelled at the thought of it, the thought of a family and a future. A future I never imagined I would have. I future I thought was shattered the minute my parents kicked me out of their house.

And I was determined to never let my child have the same fate. I would love him or her to the extent that they would probably be embarrassed.

Hell, I already knew I was going to spoil them, no doubt about it.

"So, Alice already knows?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said, shooting me an apologetic look because she told her best friend before me, the father. "I was scared to tell you."

"You should never be scared to tell me anything, baby," I said, feeling bad because she rather confined in her friend than in me.

"This is a big deal, Edward. You know this will change everything, right?"

"Yeah, I'll probably love you even more when you're all round and glowing," I grinned. The image of a pregnant Bella was filling my mind again and damn, she indeed looked even more beautiful.

"Edward, this is serious," she said, slightly pushing my shoulder and worry all over her features again.

"I know it's not going to be easy, love, but we'll be fine. I've already told you we can do this, and I believe that."

"You're not going to run when it gets too hard?" I looked up at her in confusion. Did she really think I would do that? Leave her alone with a baby? Did she really think I was that kind of a person? Especially after everything I had to go through as a child?

"You really think I'd do that?" I asked, hurt by her presumptions.

"I don't know, I just don't know what to expect of all this," she confessed.

"I don't know what to expect of it either, Bella, but about one thing I'm sure, we're in this together, no matter what happens."

She seemed to be reassured by my words because I could see a smile forming on her lips again and this time it reached her eyes as well.

I leaned in and softly pressed my lips against hers. She immediately wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back, deepening the kiss.

And then much too soon she pulled away again, a serious expression on her face.

"We shouldn't tell people yet," she stated.

"And who do you think I would tell? It's not like I really have anyone to spill it to, apart from Jasper and Alice and they already know."

"Jasper knows?" she shrieked.

"You really think Alice is going to keep that to herself?"

"Oh, right," she said, shaking her head at her own ignorance.

"And I don't think it's a good idea to tell Charlie already. I actually value my life so..." I shrugged.

"Oh god, my dad, he's gonna freak out, Edward." Panic was taking her over again and it didn't do any good to calm me down. But instead of showing how much I feared her father, I tried to comfort my girl.

"Bella, we'll be fine. He accepted me, of all people he accepted _me_. So why wouldn't he accept a child?"

"Because it's way too soon for me to have a baby," she whispered.

"It's not like we planned this. The contraceptive failed and there is nothing we can do about it. He'll have to live with it. And you said it yourself, he's a reasonable man!"

"I guess..."

"Don't be so negative," I said, "And you shouldn't worry about this just yet. We probably shouldn't tell him before the first three months of the pregnancy have passed, to be safe. So let's just enjoy it now, okay?"

"Okay." Her voice was no louder than a whisper and I hated it. I hated that in a few seconds her entire mood could change from happy and excited to fearful. I didn't like her scared, especially over something like this. Pregnancy should be something beautiful and I was determined to make her forget about all of the bad stuff about it and make this all worthwhile.

We spend the reminder of the day inside, just hanging out, doing absolutely nothing. Well, we did stuff of course but I can't remember for the life of God what it was.

Bella stayed silent the entire evening and as much as I tried I couldn't seem to succeed in cheering her up. I understood that she was scared about all this but I didn't want this important period in her life to be dominated by fear.

"How about we watch 'The Wizard of Oz'?" I suggested. I knew this was her favourite movie and one of the few things that could always lighten the mood.

"You sure you want to watch it again. We've already watched it two weeks ago?" she said, but there was a little sparkle in her eye and I was determined to keep it there. If that meant I had to watch the same movie over and over again, then so it be.

I sat down on the couch, motioning for her to come and sit with me. "Of course I'm sure I want to watch it. I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't want to see it, would I?"

That was enough of an encouragement for Bella to plop down on the couch and snuggle into me. I pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head as I started the movie.

She was quiet as her eyes were fixed on the screen but she did appear to loosen up after a few minutes and by the time the movie ended all of the tenseness had left her body and she seemed to be her cheery self again.

I hope she felt this way because she had realized she had nothing to worry about and not because she had forgotten about the whole pregnancy.

Can they even? I mean, can a woman forget that they're pregnant for a while or do they feel the constant presence of a little human being inside of them?

"Are you coming?" Bella asked, pinching my arm, shaking me out of my musings.

"What?"

"I'm going to sleep, are you coming as well or?"

"Oh, I'm coming," I said, finally understanding.

She pulled me up from the couch and dragged me to the bedroom as she suppressed a yawn.

We quickly climbed under the covers and I instantly snuggled up against my girl, enjoying the warmth of her body.

I wasn't that tired yet so when I was still awake after half an hour, I ducked my head under the blanket and ran my hand of my girl's still flat, now exposed belly. A smile crept across my face as I realized in a few months it would be all round and I would probably be able to feel the baby kicking.

"Hey there little guy," I whispered.

"Or girl," Bella added, scaring me a little because I thought she was already asleep since she had appeared to be tired.

"No, it's going to be a boy," I said determined, peeking out from under the blanket to look at her.

"Based upon what results did you make that decision, doctor?" The humorous tone in her voice made me erupt into laughter.

"I just know," I snickered. My mind kept producing images of Bella in a rocking chair, holding a little baby boy wrapped up in a little blue blanket, so I was fairly sure my first child was going to be a boy.

"Wow, that must have taken a lot of research," she said sarcastically, only causing me to laugh even more.

"You have no idea."

"So you know we're going to have a boy just because you feel so," she concluded.

I nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh boy, am I going to laugh when we'll have a little girl."

"We won't. It'll be a boy."

"We'll see," she said, bringing an end to our little argument.

She kept raking her fingers through my hair as I laid my head back on her stomach.

"What if we do have a girl?" she asked, her voice traced with worry again. My head shot up and I looked at her.

"Well, then you're going to laugh," I said but apparently that wasn't the answer she was looking for. I straightened myself and she did the same as I took her hands between mine.

"Baby, the gender doesn't matter, okay? A boy, a girl, I'll love the little one no matter what."

"But you'd prefer a boy?" she said, still not convinced.

"I didn't say that. I said we'll have a boy. That's something entirely different."

"So if we ended up having a girl..."

"I'd love the girl to no extend and probably be the most protective dad in history. Protective as in no dating in the first seventy years after she's born." I grinned.

"Poor girl," Bella laughed.

"I know. Good thing we're gonna have a son," I smirked.

"You're incorrigible."

"And that's exactly why you love me," I said, an evil grin all over my face.

"I love you for many reasons, but that's not one of them."

"Oh, come on, I know that is a reason."

"Nope," she said, popping the p.

"You're mean, you're so mean!" I said mockingly before I turned around, facing away from her and trying to pretend to be mad. I loved these little games, though I wasn't as good at them as she was. I would always feel bad after less than five minutes of giving her the fake silent treatment and when I would turn around Bella would be looking at me, grinning like the Cheshire cat because I had given in before she had.

But this time I wasn't going to be the one losing because I could already feel Bella's hand on my shoulder. She softly rubbed my arm and came to lie closer to me, her lips near my ear now.

"I love it that you're incorrigible," she said before wrapping her arms around my waist.

And now

I was grinning like that weird cat as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Oh what a shock that Edward is happy about this. Lol _

_But the big question now is: Will he be right about the gender? :'''')_

_**Review = sneak peek!** :D_

_Did I already tell you how much I love MidnightSunSC17 and all the effort she puts in helping me with this story? Well, you can never tell it enough! _

_Hope to see you all back at the next chapter ;)_

_Love Ellen_


	26. Pink or blue

**Chapter 26: Pink or blue**

"Come on, Bella, we're going to be laaaaate," I yelled from in the door entrance.

"I'm coming!"

And that's exactly what she had been saying for the past five minutes...

Didn't she understand I was more than excited about this appointment?

"We have more than half an hour left to get there, why are you so hasted?" she asked annoyed while scooping up her handbag and walking past me.

I knew better than to annoy her, especially in her state, but it's not like I did it on purpose. I couldn't even understand why she was so casual about this. I had been counting down to this day since the very first day I knew we were going to have a baby and now it had finally come, I needed to get at that doctor's appointment as fast as possible.

Today was finally going to put an end to our endless discussions and I would finally be able to prove Bella I had been right from the start. Today we were going to know if there was a baby boy or baby girl growing inside of my Bella.

People had often said pregnancy was amazing, like rainbows and sunshine and all shit like that but I surely didn't always see it. I mean, it was wonderful at some points but to say everything had gone smoothly would be an outrageous lie. Sometimes I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around Bella, afraid that she'd started calling me out on the most stupid things.

Yes, we argued more than we did before and I had already spent numerous nights on the couch, much to my dismay. I knew I needed to be understanding and all but it was so easy to forget that Bella's mood swings were caused by her pregnancy since there was no visible proof yet. She wasn't even showing a little by now. Of course, if you lifted her shirt you could already see it but when she was clothed there was no way to tell she was pregnant.

And that hadn't been in my advantage.

One moment Bella would be all happy and flirtatious and when I would act to it, she would clamp down and turn away from me. The first time I hadn't really been bothered by it, but the second time I had carefully called her out on it, wanting to know if I had did something to make her feel uncomfortable. That had only led to another snap from Bella and an entire speech about how I didn't know what she was going through and that I should be more understanding.

That was the first night I had spent on the couch.

I didn't know how to be as understanding as she wanted me to be, because when I was trying to take care of her, like helping her out with regular stuff like cleaning, she said she didn't need my help and that it wasn't because she was pregnant that she had to lie down in bed the entire day.

It confused the fuck out of me.

I didn't help that the bliss of the new relationship had just passed as well. We were starting to see flaws in each other, no big things of course, nothing that would make you want to run away as fast as possible but little things that made you feel annoyed.

I was starting to wonder how I would get through another six months of this because I'd always heard that it doesn't get particularly better towards the end.

But then there would be an evening like the old days, where Bella would snuggle against me and lay her head on my chest while we watched a silly movie. I cherished those moments because they made me see that we would get through everything no matter what.

My love for Bella was still intact, even more present than before now I knew she was carrying my child and after our heated arguments I always made sure she knew how I felt and how grateful I was. In return she would apologize and tell me that she loved me too. I would shrug it off even though some of her words hurt me because that's what I was supposed to do. I never really blamed her for her actions as mood swings were very common but still...

"Baby, I'm sorry I'm so agitated but...," I started, as I really didn't want us to have another argument in front of the doctor, but was quickly interrupted by Bella.

"I know, you want to know the sex, I understand," she said, offering me a genuine smile.

I quickly enveloped her in my arms, loving the feel of her tiny body completely wrapped up in mine. "I love you," I whispered against her hair.

She sighed against my chest, squeezing me tighter. "I love you too."

We spent the drive to the doctor in silence, apart from Bella's humming. She started doing it more often, just silently singing to herself and it was one of the things I had grown to love. Especially because it indicated that she was in a good mood. And that always resulted to me being in a good mood as well. It was startling how much our moods matched and I guessed that was one of the reasons why were bickering that often lately. Two annoyed persons in one room didn't always end up good.

But I was determined that I wasn't going to let anything ruin this day. That minor accident before leaving would be the only bad thing between us today.

When we were seated in the waiting area, I took hold of her hand, casually playing with her fingers. Her eyes instantly trailed to mine and I gave her a big smile. My leg was bouncing with excitement and she had noticed as well. She carefully placed her other hand on it to stop the movement but it was useless. She giggled when she realized that my nerves weren't going to leave until I knew if we were going to have a son or a daughter, but still she didn't let go of my leg.

After what seemed like a century – and was only two minutes – Bella's name was called and we were led inside a little white room by a young blonde woman.

"Doctor Webber will be with you in a second. Make yourself comfortable please," she said before disappearing again.

I was looking at all the sonograms that were hung up on the wall, showing the growth of a child inside the uterus. I had been trying to figure out how big our child would be when a soft feminine voice pointed me towards the fourth picture.

I quickly turned around, afraid that I was caught doing something I wasn't supposed to do.

"Angela Weber," the woman in the white coat said and extended her hand. I genuinely took it, happy she didn't comment on the fact I had been so free to roam around her office. "Edward Cullen."

"Nice to meet you. And this is your wife?" she asked, while shaking Bella's hand.

"Girlfriend,"I explained before sitting down on the chair next to the examination table.

Doctor Webber quickly gave us some facts on the child, nothing new to me as I had already read a lot information in books and online before proceeding to the actual tests.

"So, what do you think, are we going to see whether the little one wants blue or pink in his nursery?" she finally asked after all of the formalities had passed and she had run a few tests to check the baby's health. I had been so anxious to know the sex that I didn't even think for a second that there could have been anything wrong but I could easily see that it had been on Bella's mind because when Doctor Weber declared that everything was perfectly fine, Bella let go the biggest sigh of relief in human history. I must say that there is nothing that beats the sentiment of hearing your baby's heart beat for the very first time. It's like the biggest proof that you're going to be a parent and I almost cried from happiness when I heard the soft drum of the heart echoing though the room. It was really there. Our child was really in there.

I was now practically bouncing in my seat at the mentioning of knowing the sex and both of the women laughed at my enthusiasm.

"He's convinced it'll be a boy," Bella clarified, sounding happier than he had seen her in days. Maybe it had a lot to do with the fact that she knew the baby was healthy and to be honest I hoped that was the reason because that would mean that everything would calm down a bit now.

"Well, let's see if he's right," Doctor Weber said while ordering Bella to lie a bit more on her side to get a better view.

I was trying to read her features, waiting for the moment when the doctor her eyes would tear away from the screen and tell us the gender.

"Bella, I'm very sorry," she started and my heart stopped beating right that second, anxiety taking over my entire body. Doctor Weber looked away from the screen and into the eyes of two anxious parents with a huge grin on her face. "I'm afraid you'll have to live with the fact that Edward has been right all along."

What? Right?

And then it dawned on me, right at the same time Bella seemed to get it.

"A son?"I asked, still not completely believing it even though my eyes were already starting to tear up again.

She nodded, obviously amused by it all before allowing us some private time to let it all sink in.

A boy. We were having a boy. A little baby boy.

I quickly looked at Bella who was also crying by now, clinging to my arm.

"A boy," I whispered.

"You were right," Bella said, holding back a sob.

"Aren't I always?" I said, trying to sound smug but it kind of sounded wrong because of the emotion in my voice.

"We're going to have a son," she said again, looking back at the monitor, her gaze lingering there.

I softly pressed my lips against her temple, feeling a tear run down my cheek. "We are."

We were both staring at the screen, perplexed by the realisation of having a baby boy. My hand was trailing down as I desperately wanted to put my hand on Bella's stomach, just to have any type of connection with my son in there. I laid my hand flat on her belly, grimacing a bit when I noticed the gel was still there but not caring enough about the substance to remove my hand again.

Too soon Doctor Webber returned, an apologetic look on her face as she told us she would have to disconnect the monitor now.

Afterwards she presented us the dvd with all of the images and I was practically floating on air as we walked out of the hospital.

"So I guess we'll have to tell Charlie now, right?" Bella said hesitant once we were home again. One name and my happy mood was demolished instantly.

We had yet to tell Charlie about the whole pregnancy and we had found ourselves constantly postponing the phone call. Yes, it had to be a phone call as he wouldn't be able to strangle me through the phone for knocking up his daughter.

"Maybe we should call Madelyn first?" I said in another attempt to avoid talking to her father.

"Good idea," Bella said, obviously relieved as well.

I quickly dialled the number and waited for my sister to pick up the phone.

* * *

><p><em>Bella<em>

Every ounce of stress I felt left my body the moment Doctor Webber announced that our child was healthy and everything was going according to the plan. I had been fed up about it ever since the day I found out I was pregnant and I knew I had been irritable because of it.

It had annoyed me so much that Edward only seemed to care about the gender of our baby and never worried about his or her health. But instead of asking him about it, I had always snapped at him. Every single time.

And it was only when I was lying alone in bed at night I realized how stupid I was being but I had never had the guts to admit it.

Anyway, it didn't matter anymore because everything was fine and I really was going to change my behaviour towards Edward. I didn't understand how he had been able to put up with me the past three months but it only made me love him more.

Apart from the baby's health there was another part I was worried about. My father. He still didn't know anything about the fact that he was going to be a grandfather soon and I wasn't looking forward to telling him. But I guessed there was no avoiding it anymore now.

I listened as Edward was talking to his sister on the phone. We had told her about the doctor's appointment last week, mostly because Edward had let something slip and we could hide it anymore and afterward we had promised to keep her informed about everything. She had been very enthusiastic about the pregnancy because now her little girl, Caroline, would have a playmate. She had been born only two weeks after we had returned from Vancouver and we had already visited once, before I had known I was pregnant.

I was snapped out of my thoughts of the tiny little girl when I heard Edward mentioning Emmett to his sister. I almost slapped myself when I suddenly remembered I had planned on calling my dad to see if he could get tabs on Emmett but with the unexpected pregnancy I had all forgotten about it. I made a mental note to ask him about it once I got him on the phone.

I realized that maybe now was the perfect timing because Edward wouldn't be able to overhear the conversation while he was still talking to his sister. I wanted to keep it a secret for Edward, mostly because I didn't know how much my dad would be able to do and I didn't want him to have too many hopes on it.

I quickly retreated to the bedroom and dialled Charlie's number. He picked up at the second ring with his usual stern voice, "Charlie Swan speaking."

"Hi dad,"I said casually, trying not to sound nervous because of the important news I had yet to tell him.

"Hi Bells!" he said enthusiastically, "Decided to give your old man another phone call?"

"I guess," I shrugged.

"So, why are you calling?"

"Do I need a reason to call my father?" I said, playing faux-shocked.

"No, but you usually have one." Touché.

"So, what's it this time? Nothing wrong I hope?"

I swallowed again because there wasn't anything wrong but it might be wrong to him. I quickly pushed back that idea and focused on Emmett instead.

I quickly tried to explain the situation and asked if he could do anything to find Edward's brother.

"I don't know, Bella, I can try of course, but I'm only chief of police in tiny Forks."

"Yeah, I know, but it's worth a shot, right?"

"Of course it is," he said, "I promise I'll try my best."

Charlie had started to ask a few random questions about what I had been up to since I hadn't really kept to my promise of visiting more often. I tried to give him a few excuses but I couldn't help myself from feeling bad because of it.

Edward suddenly came into the room, obviously having ended the phone call with Madelyn, mouthing 'does he already know?'

I shook my head and padded the place next to me on the bed. He quickly came to sit next to me and took my free hand between his, playing with my fingers once again. I loved it when he did that even though he only did it as he was nervous about something.

"Dad, I actually have to tell you something big," I finally managed to say, causing Edward to squeeze my hand even tighter. We had nothing to worry about just yet, because Charlie was a three hour drive away from us, but still...

"There is something wrong, isn't it?" The sound of his voice almost made me want to not tell him after all, but I knew that was the worst way to deal with him. He had to know and he had to know it now.

"No, nothing is wrong, everything is fine, there is just..." I was trying to find the right words but they didn't come. I didn't really want to blurt it out but I didn't know how else to get the message to be clear so that was exactly what I ended up doing. "Dad, I'm pregnant."

I squeezed my eyes shut, preparing myself for the outburst on the other side of the phone.

"You're WHAT?" A jolt of fear shot through me at the intensity with which my father spoke those words. I guess Edward had heard it as well as the completely tensed up beside me.

"Pregnant,"I repeated weakly.

"Christ, Bella, you're only twenty two years old! You can't be pregnant! You're ruining your life and your career!" he shouted through the phone. The entire ramble went on for about two minutes before his voice turned into a low sound. "_He _talked you into this, didn't he?" I could almost picture my father's eyes narrowing at that statement.

I didn't need to ask him to specify the 'he' in that sentence as it was obvious my dad was referring to Edward.

"No, it was an accident," I said, trying to defend my boyfriend.

"Even worse!" Okay, maybe that was the wrong argument. But I wasn't going to have the sex talk with my father now. I didn't need him to lecture me about safe sex because that hadn't been the issue here.

"Dad, it doesn't even matter," I said, annoyed, "The point is that I am pregnant and that baby is going to come whether you like it or not. All I hope is that you can put everything aside and just be the grandfather he's going to need."

"HE? You already know the gender of the baby?" he shrieked out, "How far are you?"

I huffed before answering, "Three months."

"You already knew you were pregnant when you were visiting?" The anger was so noticeable in his voice, even through the phone and I could see Edward slumping down, his hands in his face.

I casually started to rub his back, trying to comfort him the best I could while trying to calm down my father as well.

"No, I discovered the weekend after we were back."

"Bella, you cannot have a baby yet," he said sternly. I was relieved to hear that he wasn't yelling at me anymore.

For the next hour I kept talking to my father, trying to make him see that we didn't choose this but now it was going to happen I wasn't going to wail about it. I wanted him to accept the baby just as we had to do. By the end of the conversation Charlie had finally come to terms with the whole pregnancy but it was easy to notice he still wasn't very pleased about it.

After another sigh I put away the phone, pleased with the outcome.

Edward had relaxing somewhat when he heard Charlie wasn't yelling anymore but I could still see the concern in his face.

"Charlie is the only grandparent he's going to have," he stated, his eyes fixed on the floor between his feet.

"I know," I said, not really knowing how to respond to that any further.

The reminder of the evening had been spent in a kind of awkward silence and I had fallen asleep the minute my head hit the pillow. That stupid phone call had worn me out, not to mention the whirlwind of emotions I had been going through today. Fear, relief, complete happiness, anxiety, anger,... Name it and I had experienced it that day.

A few hours after I had fallen asleep, I woke up, completely confused. I took a quick glance at the alarm clock and sighed with relief when I noticed it was only three AM. I turned around to let sleep take over again but I was met by Edward, who was sitting straight, staring into the darkness, obviously lost in thoughts.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

Edward turned around and looked at me with a look of complete adoration. "I was thinking that I love you. Both of you," he said before placing his hand on my belly.

Tears were starting to fill my eyes at the sincerity of his voice.

"You know, I almost want to thank my parents."

"What?"I asked non-understanding.

"If they hadn't thrown me out, I wouldn't have been here now," he said, his eyes never leaving mine.

I snuggled closer to him and let my head rest on his shoulder.

"I think we would have met anyway." I really couldn't imagine a life without Edward anymore, as cheesy as it sounds.

"Yeah, how?" he challenged.

"Well, let's see, your sister is married to Jasper's brother," I started, thinking out loud, "So, if you hadn't been kicked out of the house, you would have gone to Madelyn's wedding, right?"

He nodded, probably already guessing where I was going but not really making the connection just yet.

"Well, Jasper was there, so with a little luck you would have met him and of course you two would have gotten along from the very beginning which would result in him asking you to his wedding as well."

"Where you would have been as Alice maid of honour," he completed my story.

"Exactly!"I exclaimed, proud of myself.

"Well, I'm glad I was supposed to meet you," he grinned before placing a kiss on my forehead.

"I am too," I said before allowing myself to drift off to sleep again.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Aren't they cute? *-*_

_Anyway, thank you for reading! :D_

_And lots and lots and lots of love to MidnightSun17 aka super beta! Thanks to her superfast betaskills you'll probably have the next chapter on Wednesday! _

_REVIEWS = LOVE = SNEAK PEEK!_

_Love , Ellen_


	27. Old friends

_I'm very very very very sorry! I know I've promised to upload this chapter yesterday, but I was so busy with my internship and I forgot about it. Sorry. I hope you can forgive me… *puppy eyes*_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 27: Old friends<strong>

_Bella_

"Bella, I just won't get everything finished by December 24th."

"Come on, Alice, I refuse to believe that! I'm sure you can!"

"No, no, no, Bella, we'll have to reschedule" she said, determined.

Alice had been on the phone with me for well over an hour now, complaining about how she wouldn't be able to plan her wedding by the date they had set a few months ago. There were too many things to arrange and she was starting to freak out about the stupidest details.

"So what, you're just gonna start all over again?" I snorted. Did she realize that would take a lot more work? And was it even possible to just change everything now? It was already September after all.

"It's not like everything is lost, it'll just have to be pushed back a month or so. And besides, you'd be like huge by the end of December. I'd be doing you a favour by changing the date."

"Like I hadn't thought about that yet," I mumbled in the phone. I was already seriously starting to show and I was only five months pregnant. Sometimes I wondered if the doctor had made a mistake and we were having twins instead, because seriously I had already gained too many pounds for only one baby.

"It'd be perfect if we would be able to do it in February. Oh my god, Bella, I could get married on Valentine's Day! That way Jasper will never forget the date!" She was squealing excitingly by now and I had to keep the phone a few inches away from my ear to protect myself from ending up deaf.

"Like he would even dare to forget the day, Valentine's Day or not!" I laughed. I wouldn't want to have an angry Alice shooting deadly glares at me because I had forgotten about an important day, that much was certain.

"So you don't think it's a good idea to do it in February?" she asked, sounding disappointed about my negativity about this all.

"Alice, _when_ you get married doesn't matter to me, it's your wedding. If you're happy with it, and Jasper is happy with it, I am as well." And that was completely true. "And I guess the idea of not having to worry about the fact that my water could break any second as I'm standing next to you when you're saying 'I do' seems like something I could live with," I snickered.

"So February 14th it will be then!" she said and I could practically see her bounce up and down.

And then I had to listen to her rambling on and on about all of the arrangements and changes once again. That much for not being involved too much...

"Girlfriend, we should totally celebrate me having a new wedding date!" she exclaimed suddenly, "Let's go out!"

"What?" Did she just suggest going out? Does she not get this whole pregnancy thing? I'm supposed to stay calm and get as much rest as possible. And last time I checked, going out wasn't exactly considered 'resting'.

"Come on, Bella, it'll be fun! We can just go to a bar where you can sit down as well," she pleaded. Yeah, so much fun, watching from the sideline.

"I don't–"

"Please Bella, it'll be the last time you'll be able to do anything like that! In a few weeks you'll be too pregnant and afterwards you'll have to take care of the little one."

I hated to admit that she had a point there. Things were going to change. Drastically and very soon. Maybe this would be the last time I could try to forget about it all as much as possible. One last night of being a young girl, or at least, partly because I knew I'd have to stay away from the alcohol.

Did I already mention that I hated that 'you can't drink alcohol-thing'? Yeah, well I do. I mean, it's not like I had been an alcoholic before but I missed the fact that I just couldn't have a simple glass of wine anymore whenever the hell I wanted one. Thank god Edward had decided to be consistent because I swear I wouldn't survive this if he would be drinking the beverages of the gods in front of me.

When I had finally ended the call with Alice and made arrangements for tonight's party I headed to the living room, curious what Edward had been up to the entire time why I was being tortured by Bridezilla.

I wasn't surprised to find him leafing through one of the baby books he had bought a while ago, wearing a pair of sexy nerd glasses. I guess we owned more baby books by now then all of the books shops in Seattle combined. No, it wasn't enough for Edward to just lend the books, he had to buy them. "You never know when we'll have to use them," he had once said.

I took place next to him on the couch and he immediately pushed the book in my direction.

'The Everything Baby Names Book' was written on the cover.

"I guess it was about time to think about baby names," he smirked, his eyes lightning up. I had noticed that every time we talked about the baby he would brighten up completely and it was easy to see that he was genuinely happy about this.

"So, what did you have in mind?" I asked, curiously. I wasn't one of those girl that had their baby names figures out at the age of ten and even now that I was pregnant I hadn't even thought about the name. Guess he already did...

"I veto for 'Junior'. Seriously, that's like the most fucked up name in human history," he laughed.

"Agreed. And nothing too weird," I added.

"Definitely!"

I opened the book at a random page, closed my eyes and pointed my finger at a random place on the page.

"Riley," I read out loud, instantly shaking my head and laughing when I noticed Edward had scrunched up his nose as well. "No, that won't do."

I tried again. "Seth." I looked up at Edward to see his reaction. "Well, I kind of like this one," I said when he didn't say a thing.

"It's not bad, but it's not good either," he said.

We went on for about a half an hour, pointing out names and every time one of us would find it not good enough. Either it sounded too old or too young, too stupid or too dull... We would always find a flaw in each name.

"I have been thinking about one though," Edward suddenly said after another bunch of trashed names.

"Yeah?"I said hopefully because I seriously was about to throw this damn book across the room.

"Well, it might be stupi-"

"Just say it, Edward," I encouraged him.

"Euhm, well, I was thinking about 'Masen'," he said, looking at me, probably judging my reaction. His eyes told me that he would be hurt if I turned down the name so I was pretty happy to find out I actually liked it.

"It's my grandfather's name," he clarified, "I don't really remember much of him because I was only six years old when he passed away but I'll never forget that he actually seemed to care about us kids. He was the only one to tell us stories and pull me on his lap when doing so."

"I like Masen," I softly said, afraid to speak any louder because of this little heartbreaking story.

"You do?" he asked, his eyes lighting up again.

"Honestly."

A bright smile spread across his face and that's when I knew it was the perfect name. Masen Cullen. Perfect.

Edward instantly reached for my belly, lifting my shirt to expose the already very present baby bump.

"Hi there Masen," he said, caressing my skin. He did that more often now, talking to my stomach. He said it was the only way for him to connect with the baby as well so I let him, mostly because it was endearing to watch. He would literally have entire monologues, talking about the most stupid things first but it seemed to make him happy.

"Oh right," I exclaimed, remembering why I had come to find him again.

"Jesus, Bella," he responded, obviously startled by my sudden movement.

"I'm sorry, I just remembered that we're going out tonight and I guess you're supposed to know that," I chuckled

"We're what?" he asked.

"Just going to some bar with Alice because she has finally decided to push back the wedding. They're getting married at February 14th now. At least that's the plan, I don't know if it's definite yet but they're definitely changing the date."

I was rambling on and on and completely distracted that I didn't notice that Edward was suddenly tensing up, his eyes blank and his face hard.

* * *

><p><em>Edward<em>

I won't lie about this. I hated this. I hated that Alice had been able to convince Bella to go out tonight. I already knew I would be worried sick all night long, even though I'd be right next to her every second throughout the entire evening. I would refuse to leave her side.

But even the fact that I could protect her didn't take away the bad feeling I had in my stomach. Who knows what could happen? What if someone accidentally pushed her and she fell? Or what if someone slipped something in her drink, some drugs or god knows what else people carry around these days? Or what if the music is actually too loud for a pregnant woman?

My mind was bringing up every worst-case scenario it could think of and that didn't actually make my mood any better. Bella already knew how I felt about it but she had begged me to just go and have fun one last time before we would really have to act like grown-ups and dammit but I just couldn't say no to her when she used that puppy dog look of hers.

So here we were now, getting into a cab, leaving towards the bar Alice had named.

"Are you sure you wanna go?" I asked one last time, hoping she'd change her mind thought I doubted it. I could only try, right?

"Edward, everything will be fine," she sighed, obviously annoyed by my constant remarks,"I'll be very careful."

"I still don't like it," I mumbled as we walked inside the old bar.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't _that _bad. There were boots were you could sit and in the back there was some room to dance. About a dozen people were already showing their moves but otherwise it was pretty calm. I instantly relaxed as we walked over to Alice and Jasper who were already sitting in one of the boots at the side.

"Oh my gooood, Bella, you're already so pregnant," Alice shimmed, putting her hand instantly on my girl's stomach. Jasper rolled his eyes at me and I had to hold back a laugh.

"Seriously, if we weren't about to get married, she would probably be begging me to get her knocked up," he whispered in my direction.

"Lucky for you that you _are _getting married then," I shrugged.

"I know," he laughed.

Bella took her seat next to me and I protectively wrapped my arms around her, shooting angry glares at everyone in the room who only even dared to look in her direction. _Mine!_

The later it got, the more crowed the bar became and the closer I pulled Bella against me. There were some fuckers sitting at the bar that I didn't trust at all. They looked like they were all on drugs and intoxicated as well. If I'd had a say in it, I would be going home, but unfortunately I wasn't the one calling the shots tonight.

"Let's go dancing!" Alice yelled, already taking Bella's hand and pulling her out of my arms.

"Come on, Edward, we're only gonna go dancing, it's not like something bad will happen," Bella said, highly annoyed by now because I almost refused to let her follow Alice.

I just huffed as I reluctantly let go of her. I wasn't happy about it but I couldn't force her to stay next to me, could I? And it was not like the bar was that big, so I had just made sure to keep an eye on her from where Jasper and I were sitting.

"You gotta trust her," Jasper said, looking into their direction.

"I trust her," I stated, "It's those other motherfuckers here I don't trust." I glanced back at the bar, noticing the gang that had taken place over there was only growing.

"I don't think they're gonna be any trouble," Jasper said when he saw where I was looking.

"Let's hope not."

"You know what, I'm gonna go steal my fiancée from your girlfriend," he said after a while when Bella and Alice still hadn't come back.

I instantly got out of the boot as well because when Jasper would be claiming Alice that would mean Bella would end up alone and there was no way that would happen under my watch.

We quickly found them in the back of the room, laughing and obviously having the time of their lives. I instantly felt bad for being such a prick and constantly reining her so when we reached them I went to stand behind my girl and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her back against my chest.

"I'm sorry," I whispered in her ear. She turned around, wrapping her arms around my neck and offering me a small smile. I wasn't forgiven but I knew she was going to let it go.

I softly pressed my lips against hers, hoping to do some damage control but then a booming laugh from across the room made me forget all about it. It literally caused my heart to stop because I recognised that spine-chilling sound instantly. I would probably be able to decipher that laugh out of millions of others. My head quickly snapped into the direction the where the horrible noise had come, trying to find the owner and hoping that I was hallucinating because there was no way they were here. It wasn't not possible. I mean, I couldn't be right? We were in fucking Seattle, far away from where my old life had been.

My whole body tensed when I noticed my assumptions were right. He was here.

They were here. Both of them. James and Laurent. Two people I wished I'd never see again after they were lead out of the court room.

I felt my heart beating ferociously in my chest, as if it was going to jump out of it any second.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked concerned, noticing my change in appearance.

"No," I croaked out, only causing her to give me an even more anxious look.

"We have to leave," I said, looking at the exit door, wondering how to get over there without being seen. It seemed impossible. We had to pass them to get out of here.

"Edward, what's going on?"

"We have to get out of this place as soon as possible," I repeated, not even realizing I wasn't giving her any more information about our current situation. I didn't even know if they would recognise me but I wasn't taking the risk, especially not with Bella by my side.

"Can you leave with Jasper and Alice? You can just wait for me outside." I figured out it might be safest if Bella left without me first. Her safety was my first priority now. Yeah, maybe I was overreacting because I was fairly sure they hadn't seen me yet but like I said, better be safe than sorry.

"Edw-"

"Just do it, please. I'll explain everything later," I begged, "Just leave now."

Something in my eyes must have convinced her because she eventually let go of me and walked over to Alice and Jasper. After exchanging a few words they headed for the exit, my eyes following their every move.

But when they passed the place where James and Laurent were only five minutes ago, my heart stopped beating again. They were gone. I quickly scanned the place, looking for the blonde hair and the black dreadlocks but they were nowhere to be found. I really hoped they had already left and weren't waiting outside.

When Bella, Alice and Jasper had finally made their way out of the club, I started roaming the place, looking for any sign of the two people that I feared most, but they seemed to have gone up in smoke.

I decided to leave as well and just go home and as far away as possible from here.

When I stepped outside, I finally let the tension leave my body as I looked around and didn't see James or Laurent. Bella quickly came rushing by my side, demanding answers but still looking pretty concerned. I promised to explain everything once we were home because I wanted to get away from this place as soon as possible.

Jasper and Alice had left, saying that they'd go home by foot as their place wasn't that far from the bar, but we had to wait for a cab to pass by before we could finally leave.

I let go a breath of relief as I saw one turning the corner, coming our way but I was cheering too early.

"Well well well, look who we have here!" It was as if James' voice cut through my flesh, all the way down to the bone.

"If it isn't our little Eddie."

In a reflex I pushed Bella behind me, as much out of sight as possible as I turned to face them. Might as well try to look brave and show them they couldn't hurt me anymore. I wasn't going to be fooled by them again.

"Oh look James, he's gonna do us the honour of a look. Aren't we lucky?" Laurent said, elbowing his friend in the ribs.

"Yeah, the little rich boy is being kind tonight."

"Just leave me alone, will you?" I said, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible because the last thing I wanted now was to provoke them or look weak.

"And why would we leave you alone when we have finally found you?" James asked in a tone that made it sound like we were having a casual conversation. But there was nothing casual about this. I felt the blood pumping through my veins as fear took over the rest of my body.

"Yeah, you left us, Eddie boy, had your mommy and daddy pay you out while we had to sit in a rotting jail for a whole fucking year. You see, we're not happy about that."

"At all," Laurent added before continuing James' threat, "It was like fucking hell in there and we think it would only be fair if we made you taste a bit of it as well now."

The grins on their faces grew impossible larger and so did my anxiety as they kept talking.

"Leave him alone!" And that's when I almost passed out from fear. Bella's voice, yelling at two of the people I dreaded most in the entire world.

"Oh, and who may you be?" James asked, looking over at Bella who had come from behind my back to stand next to me. She didn't need to answer and neither did I. "Do you have a girlfriend, Eddie boy?"

Laurent asked, eyeing Bella in the most disgusting way. I wanted to punch him in the face for looking at her like that, like she was something to eat, but I restrained myself as I knew that wouldn't be helpful in our situation. I had to control myself.

In my mind I was going through all kind of solutions to get Bella out of this encounter. I couldn't make it look like she meant something to me but I guess that failed the minute I wrapped my arm around her in a very protective way.

"Oh god, and look, James, they're playing family," Laurent continued, pointing at Bella's stomach.

Fear coursed through my body at the mentioning of the baby. I quickly pushed Bella behind me, trying to block her out of sight with my body. "Stay away from her," I growled.

"Don't worry, we don't harm innocent women," James cooed, trying to appear all innocent but I knew how poisonous he could be. "And besides, you're the one we're after now."

He shared a glance with Laurent and nodded, like they were having a silent conversation. Even though I knew I should have been prepared, I wasn't. James threw his fist forward, punching me right in the stomach and causing me to hurl over. Bella's scream pierced through my ears and I hoped she was gonna stay out of this. I would take it. Everything. Every punch they would throw at me, I would take it, as long as they stayed away from Bella.

"That's for being a pussy," he yelled before kicking me in the shins. "That's for walking away on us." I collapsed on the floor, my head crashing hard against the pavement, but still I didn't move. I didn't attempt to defend myself by punching back. I was too afraid that if I was going to go against them they'd hurt Bella and I would do anything to keep that from happening.

They kept kicking me, hitting every body part and calling out reasons why they were doing so. I tasted blood in my mouth, almost vomiting from the rusty taste of it. My whole body hurt so badly my vision was starting to blur and as much as I tried to fight it, I failed. Darkness was falling over me as they continued their attack.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Jup, I'm a cliffiewhore *angel face*_

_Don't worry, update will be on Monday or Tuesday ;)_

_And those who review will receive a sneak peek ;) _

_Again, lots of love to MidnightSunSC17 who totally awesomeballs!_

_Love, Ellen_


	28. Wake up call

_The response to this fic is so overwhelming. Thank you all so much! Really! It really encourages me to go on!  
><em>

_Oh, in this chapter, I took the freedom to play a bit with the date of Edward's birthday. :') _

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 28: Wake up call<strong>

_Edward  
><em>  
>My head was pounding ferociously, my vision foggy and my entire body was aching. I felt... lost.<p>

"Edward?"

I registered a faint voice calling out my name but it seemed like that person was miles and miles away. I fought the darkness, tried to get out of it to run towards the voice, but it felt like I was running through some thick, gooey substance, barely moving.

I heard footsteps going around, and more agitated voices surrounding me but I couldn't make out anything they were saying.

The longer I kept going, the easier it felt to move forward and I got closer to the sounds. I was still surrounded by the dark and slowly I realized my eyes were closed. I forced them open, wanting to see where I was, to understand what was going on, but I was obliged to close them again only one second after opening them as I couldn't stand the bright light. It was as if someone was pointing a flashlight directly at my face and blinding me.

"Baby, please, open your eyes again, please." A small smile formed on my lips as I recognised that sweet voice even though it was laced with anxiety now.

I tried again, this time more carefully and to my relief, I managed to keep them open long enough to see the hustle that was going on around me. That stupid streetlight was still hurthing my eyes and there were police cars everywhere. I could hear the faint sound of an ambulance in the distance but that didn't hold my attention. Only one thing did.

My Bella, who was crouched beside me, stroking my forehead and begging me to keep afloat.

"Bella," I croaked out, my voice barely louder than a whisper and my throat felt like it was made out of sandpaper.

"Oh god, Edward," she sobbed.

My head was still pounding. It felt as if a whole army of people were in there, trying to get out by smacking the walls of my forehead. I squeezed my eyes shut again, forcing the pain to go away.

When another hand was suddenly placed on my forehead, my eyes popped open again. I was looking straight at a man I'd never seen before. He looked like one of those guys from an ambulance so I guessed that was what he was.

And seeing that man was all it took for everything to come back to me. The bar. James. Laurent.

The fight.

Before I could wonder about what had happened these past minutes or hours or whatever, two other men crouched next to me and placed a stretcher on the sidewalk.

"Sir, we're gonna lift you, try not to make any sudden movements, okay?"

I just nodded, because that was all I could do. My throat still felt dryer than the fucking Sahara.

"It's gonna be okay," Bella whispered at me as they lifted me on the damn stretcher. The pain that shot through my body during that move was horrible and I felt myself fall into that painless darkness again.

When I woke up again, I was in a white room, lying on a bed, covered in those typical boring white sheets. A hospital. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Hi there," Bella's voice. The only thing that could make me smile now.

"Hi," I said, my voice still hoarse but my throat felt slightly better already.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, tracing my jaw with her thumb.

"I've been better." I wanted to laugh at my own lame attempt of a joke but I couldn't. I winced at the pain in my chest.

Bella just gave me a small smile, a forced one. Was she upset?

I wanted to ask her but before I could even open my mouth the door of my room opened.

"Mr Cullen? Time for a check-up."

The doctor, an older man with grey hair was suddenly standing next to me and once Bella had nodded and retreated from my side - much to my dismay - he started checking the few tubes attached to my body and every now and then he scribbled something on the papers he had on the table next to my bed.

He never said a word, which pissed me off. Weren't doctors supposed to give the patient information? Like what the hell they were doing or how  
>I was doing?<p>

"Everything is still fine. You can probably leave in a few hours if there aren't any complications but since you've easily gotten through the night that won't be a problem. But once you're back home, you won't be allowed to do anything too aggravating as your ribs need time to heal properly."

Finally. Some good news. Well, apart from the ribs. What the hell happened to my ribs? Were they broken? Bruised?

And I had been here an entire night? Wonderful...

The doctor left after a nod that was supposed to mean as much as a goodbye, I guess, and I quickly looked back at Bella who was now sitting in the large arm chair in the corner of the room. As soon as our eyes locked she stood up and came to my side again, taking a seat on the edge of my bed.

"For a moment, I thought we'd lost you," she whispered, carefully placing my hand of her now very round stomach.

I gasped when I felt movement under my touch and then the most beautiful sound in the world filled the room. Bella's soft laugh.

"He missed you too," she softly chuckled while a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Wha-"

But I didn't need to say more. She knew what I wanted to hear, what I needed to hear.

"After they'd thrown the first few punches and you fell to the ground, I went back inside to get some help," she started. I breathed in relief at the mentioning of Bella leaving the scene. The last thing I had wanted was for her to take a hit, even if she wasn't meant to be hit.

"A few guys and the bouncer of the bar came with me and they were able to pull... James and Laurent?" I nodded to confirm she had the names right, though it didn't really matter. "Well, they pulled them off of you and before I knew it someone had called an ambulance because you weren't moving anymore."

She remained quiet for a while, lost in the memory and fighting the tears that were threatening to fall. When she spoke again her voice was more forceful.

"What the hell were you thinking, Edward? Couldn't you at least try to punch back or push them off of you, or, I don't know, run? You weren't doing anything!"

"I had to protect you," I said, diverting my eyes from her.

"This wasn't protecting me, this -," She motioned at my body that was partly covered in bandages now, "- was killing me."

"I'm sorry." I said the only think I could think of. But I knew it wasn't good enough. I had scared her with my actions - or non-actions to be specific - and even though I couldn't regret what I had done, I knew she didn't think about it the same way.

"Where are they now?" I asked, trying to divert the subject of my stupid actions.

"Someone called the police and they arrived a few minutes later. James and Laurent were handcuffed and taken to the police station."

I nodded, hoping to hear more about the consequences of this soon. I didn't care really what happened to them, as long as they were far away from everyone I cared about.

* * *

><p><em>Bella<br>_  
>I couldn't remember the last time I had been so damn afraid in my entire life. Well, I guess I had never been. I had been afraid to see my mom die a few years ago, but at least I had been prepared for that. I knew she would pass away and I had come to terms with it as much as possible then.<p>

But when Edward was beaten up in front of my eyes, fear had taken over and I felt it coarse through every little cell of my body. I knew I couldn't do anything myself to help him. I couldn't stand up against those two big men, especially not with a baby on the way. And I knew Edward would probably freak out if I tried anything to endanger our child.

It had taken me a while to realize who they were; those two men that seemed to scare the shit out of Edward, but when one of them mentioned a stay in prison I knew. Those were the people who fucked up his life. A life that was finally falling into place again. But I guess luck was never on my boy's side because right now he was being kicked in the stomach and cursed at.

So I did the only thing I could in my condition; I ran back inside and yelled for help. Tears were already streaming down my face and I felt like my knees were going to give up but luckily I managed to stay strong enough to point the few volunteers into the right direction.

They quickly dragged a kicking and screaming James and Laurent away from Edward's body.

When they were far enough I ran back towards him. His eyes were closed and his breathing seemed to come in shocks. A man's voice called out that he already called an ambulance, much to my relief because I didn't know if I would have been able to dial the number with my cell phone.

"Edward, baby, please, please, say something," I pleaded, not really knowing where I could touch him so my hands were awkwardly hovering over his body. I was afraid to hurt him and make everything worse.

Much to my relief, I saw that his face wasn't really damaged, apart from the bloody nose, so that meant his head was probably fine. I was more concerned about his ribs and chest because that was where he had taken most hits.

It felt like forever before a police car showed up, carefully making their way through the now very crowded sidewalk. People were all around us, trying to get a glimpse of what was going on and for a moment I felt like an animal in the zoo.

"Everyone move," an officer yelled, trying to make his way over to us.

When he finally did, he assured me that an ambulance was going to be here any second before he asked me about what had happened. I gave him a detailed description, telling him as much as I knew while keeping a close look on Edward from the corner of my eye.

Suddenly his eyelids fluttered and I instantly ignored the officer's question. I mustn't have been that important because without another word he stood up and left for his car.

"Baby, please, open your eyes again, please," I begged. A little smile formed on his lips and a minute later his eyes slowly opened again. I started stroking his forehead, much more to soothe myself than to sooth him, but it seemed to calm him down, so I didn't remove my hand.

"Bella," he croaked out, his voice hoarse. I was a sobbing mess by then, barely able to keep myself from throwing my arms around his body.

Everything happened quickly then. Edward was placed onto a stretcher but the movement had caused him to black-out again. The medical staff said it was nothing to worry about as it was very common and it was more important to get him to the hospital to check for any other injuries. One of his ribs could be broken and have pierced a hole through his lungs.

During the ambulance ride a few doctors were already checking him for any other severe bruisings but as far as they could tell now there were only a few ribs that were possibly broken and no severe damaged was done.

Once we were in the hospital a doctor confirmed their suspicion. Two broken ribs and one heavily bruised. Nothing too bad for what he had endured. According to the man he was lucky that they didn't kick him in the face because then the outcome wouldn't have been so nice.

I paced up and down through the waiting room the entire time they were performing surgery on Edward but by the time I was losing my mind they were already wheeling him outside again. They hadn't found any other injuries so now it was only a matter of time before those ribs would heal.

Edward was still unconscious because of the anaesthetics but I couldn't bring myself to go home to sleep and just leave him here like this so I just curled up on the arm chair in the corner of the room and tried to get some sleep there.

I woke up by a soft voice and when I opened my eyes I saw that a nurse was sweetly smiling at me, asking me if I'd like to have some breakfast. I gratefully accepted her offer before scooting over to Edward's bed.

He was still asleep and I didn't know if he was still under influence of the anaesthetics or if he was just sleeping but I decided that now was the perfect time to call Madelyn about the incident. I walked outside and was met by the slightly cold breeze. I wrapped my free arm around my body as I waited for Edward's sister to pick up the phone.

Of course she freaked out when I told her what had happened but I managed to convince her that there was no need to immediately come over.

After that phone call I realized that Edward and I actually both needed to be at work in about fifteen minutes. Well, that wouldn't be happening, would it?

I pulled out my phone again and called Suzy and Mr Black to inform them about our absence before returning to Edward's room.

While I waited for him to wake up again I paced through his room, feeling pretty useless. When he finally did, I gave him a quick explanation of what had happened and lectured him on his actions. Yes, I was kind of mad at him. Not once did he strike back. Not once!

After a few minutes of arguing I decided that in fact, it didn't matter anymore. What had happened happened and there was nothing we could change about it now.

As from there, the rest of the day passed in a blur. Doctors coming in and out, checking stuff and only giving us a little information - much to my dismay - but luckily they kept to their statement that Edward would be able to leave the hospital in the evening.

Suzy stopped by as well, wanting to check on her 'dearest colleague' as she named Edward. Good thing she had that many employees...

Edward, of course, promised to return to the shop as soon as possible but luckily Suzy convinced him of taking all the rest he needed.

"If you dare to come back before you're completely healed, I'm gonna kick you out," she had said forcefully and I in fact knew that she wouldn't be afraid to show Edward the door if he didn't listen to her.

A few minutes after Suzy had left, two police officers entered the room, looking pretty pissed. I guess they didn't like these types of visits and would rather be out in the field instead of informing us about the consequences for James and Laurent.

I breathed in relief when they announced that they were also in another trial and would probably be going back to prison as they were only on probation.

After all of the necessary information was given they fled the place as if they would get any type of disease if they stayed any longer. I rolled my eyes at their awkward behaviour but was happy they were gone and had delivered some good news.

The last visitor of the day was the same doctor that had performed Edward's surgery and now he was here to dismiss him. The man was a little late with his advice to take it calm for a good week though because Edward, who was more than eager to leave this place, had already jumped out of bed and was now shouting out in pain. Typical.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he said, once he had come down from the pain attack.

He had winced once more when I helped him to put on his jacket but other than that everything went fine.

"I'm going back to work tomorrow," Edward announced once we were at home, as if it was the most common thing in the world.

"No, you're not," I answered casually as I went to sit next to him on the couch, offering him a plate of spaghetti. "And I think Suzy didn't lie when she said she would gonna kick you out."

He mumbled something under his breath as he knew I was right before putting of fork full of pasta in his mouth. I couldn't hold back a chuckle at the sight.

We were halfway through dinner when my phone rang. I quickly got up to take my purse and fished the annoying thing out of it. I checked the display before answering and mouthed to Edward that it was Charlie before retreating to the bedroom, leaving the rest of my pasta to turn cold.

"Hi dad," I greeted him as I plopped down on the bed.

"Bells, you sound exhausted," he said, his voice laced with worry.

"Yeah, well, last night has been pretty hectic." And I had to sleep in a much to small arm chair. Not the most comfortable place to get a good night's rest if you'd ask me.

"Oh, should I call again another moment?"

"No no, it's okay. What's up?" I could use some distraction and I guessed there would be nothing more distracting than a call from my father.

"No, first things first, how's the baby doing?"

What? I was about to squeeze my arm to see if I was awake because even though my father had come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant, he had never asked about our boy before. I wondered what had made him change his mind but to be honest, I didn't really care. I was happy he finally showed some interest in his first grandchild.

"He's okay," I said, already feeling a lot better. Maybe that had been his incentive in the first place...

"Good to hear and how about Edward?"

"Well, he's actually doing less good, but everything is fine now. Nothing to worry about," I shrugged. I didn't really want to give my dad an entire rerun of the events of last night but I couldn't lie to him as well so when he asked what had happened, I gave him a short version.

"Oh, well, that's annoying, because I kinda have an early birthday present for him."

What the...? My dad has an early birthday present for my boyfriend? The boyfriend he liked a lot less ever since he had knocked me up. What was going on here?

I didn't even have a present for Edward yet and his birthday was already in two days. Well, of course I had kind of arranged a surprise party for him with Madelyn but that didn't suffice for me."I guess he's in perfect shape to accept gifts," I joked, knowing that Edward would be welcoming anything that could distract him from the pain in his ribs or the fact that he could barely move, mostly because I wouldn't let him.

"It's not really something to accept. And he would need to take a plane, so..."

To say I was getting confused would be a huge understatement.

"Dad, what did you get him?" I asked, more curious than ever.

"Well, I did some research and at first I didn't really find anything, mostly because I didn't have the resources but yesterday I found out, by luck actually, that Emmett is studying at Yale and-"

"WHAT?"

"Emmett is studyi-" he repeated unnecessarily because I had understood him the first time round, I just couldn't believe what he was saying.

"Yeah, I heard you," I said, letting myself fall back in a chair. This was huge! Like bigger than huge!

We knew how to reach Edward's brother. After about two years of separations they would finally see each other again.

The only thing that was being an obstacle now was that there was no way Edward would be allowed to fly now. I knew if I told him this news I could never stop him from jumping on a plane to Connecticut, allowed or not, and that was exactly what I wanted to avoid.

As much as I would like to reunite them as soon as possible, Edward's health was far more important.

Charlie gave me all of the information he had gotten hold off and slowly a plan started to form in my head.

I would go to New Haven myself, try to find Emmett there and hope that he would be able to come to Seattle for Edward's birthday. It would be the perfect present!

That is if the plan was going to work because I didn't know  
>that much. I knew his name and that he was studying Science. Not much to start with but it was still better than nothing.<p>

Now all I needed was an excuse to go all the way over there without Edward getting suspicious.

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><p><em>AN: Of course I wouldn't harm any of them. :D I 'm not THAT cruel :') But euhm, well, Edward had to have a few broken ribs :') _

_Reviewers get a sneak peek :D  
><em>

_Love to MidnightSunSC17 aka Superbeta ;)_

_See you again at the next chapter ;)_

_Love, Ellen_


	29. Birthday present

**CHAPTER 29: Birthday present**

_Bella_

With a content smile I put my phone back in my pocket and headed back to the living room, as ready as I would ever be to tell Edward that I would have to leave Seattle for a few days.

I had been on the phone for over half an hour, first calling Alice to help me come up with a decent excuse and after we had made up a story and called my boss to tell him I couldn't make it to work the next two days. He had grumbled a bit under his breath because it was a pretty busy time at Black Co. but I was one of his best employees so he knew I would do anything to make up for the lost time.

After taking another deep breath, I sat down next to Edward, looking as dismayed as possible even though it was hard to hide my excitement over the surprise I was planning.

"My boss has just called," I lied, "He needs me to go see a client on Friday."

"Oh okay," he said, not knowing that I'd be flying across the continent as well.

"In New Haven," I added softly.

"New Haven as in New Haven Connecticut?" he said, his eyes growing wide.

I just nodded, hoping he wouldn't lash out. There was no way he would stop me from going, he thought it was for work, but I didn't want him to get mad because of this.

"Friday? But will you be back in time for my birthday then?"

"I don't know Edward, it depends on how fast the client agrees." I lied smoothly. It helped that I had rehearsed this whole conversation with Alice a few times so I knew how to keep a straight face.

"Can't you go on Monday?"

I shook my head. "No, it's important. We might lose him to Volturi Ltd if we don't act quickly."

"Can't someone else go?" he groaned, his hands gripping his hair. He had asked almost every possible question by now and I hoped that he wouldn't go any further since I didn't like to upset him.

"I'm sorry." And I meant it. I felt bad. Really bad. Especially because I was lying to him. I almost wanted to admit the real reason why I was going to New Haven.

"I just want you here for my birthday, is that too much to ask for?" he pleaded.

"I'll do whatever I can, Edward, to be home by Saturday," I promised. And I had every intention to keep that promise.

"When do you leave?" he asked, avoiding my gaze.

"I was thinking about leaving early tomorrow, so I can try to get hold of that man early. Then I can get through it quickly and be back home by Friday night."

And that's how I ended up on the morning flight to New Haven, feeling excited yet scared. I had been happy to see that Edward had come to terms with it and wasn't mad at me for leaving him on a whim. I guess he was relieved to see that I was doing everything I could to make it back in time.

By the time I landed in Connecticut it was already 10 PM due to those stupid layovers. I was exhausted and almost falling asleep right where I was standing.

Did I already mention that I hate flying? Well I did. Everyone else seemed to able to sleep and I, for some stupid reason, couldn't.

I quickly jumped into a cab and gave the cabbie the address of the hotel I had picked out yesterday evening. After checking in I hurried to my room and the minute my head hit the pillow I was out cold.

The next morning I was up as quickly as humanly possible, a little too excited about what I was about to do. I had to remind myself several times that there was a possibility I would have to go back home without Emmett. As I was standing in front of the big university reality hit me again.

How on earth was I going to find that guy in here? A guy I didn't even know. Hell, I didn't even know what he looked like. There had been a picture on Madelyn's cupboard but that one was taken more than five years ago so that wasn't something I could go by.

Students were walking past me, hurrying to their classes and I wondered if one of them would know Emmett. Maybe he had already passed me without me knowing so.

I groaned as I didn't know where to start looking. This whole campus was freaking huge. So I did the only thing I could do in my position. I went to look for a secretariat or a place where they could give me information about Emmett. Every school had to have such a place right?

Luckily the secretariat here wasn't that hard to find. It was the first thing you saw when you entered the building. I was greeted by a middle aged woman with short brown hair.

"How can I help you?" she asked in a sweet voice.

"I'm looking for someone who studies here. His name is Emmett Cullen," I said, not wasting any time.

"We're not allowed to give you any personal information, ma'am," she said apologetic.

"Isn't there any way you could help me? I really need to find him as soon as possible," I tried, hoping she would sympathise.

"Well, I guess I could tell you about his schedule since you could find that on the internet as well," she said, already typing in stuff on her computer.

I wanted to pull her over the counter to hug her but at the same time I wanted to smack myself in the head for not thinking about that myself.

"He won't be here all morning but he does have an obliged lecture this afternoon in our biggest auditorium, so if he attends, he will be out by 5 PM," she informed me. I thanked her for the information but when I headed back out I grumbled under my breath. I had hoped to catch him this morning but that plan was shattered now. I would have to wait until after his class before I could do anything.

With a few hours to kill, I went for a walk, doing some sightseeing as I had never been in New Haven before. I wanted to call Edward to tell him I might be home later than expected, but as it was only 9 AM over here, it would only be 6 AM in Seattle and he would probably still be asleep.

After another hour of roaming around, I made my phone call, silently pleading that Edward wouldn't get too upset because of this delay. But of course, he was. He was cursing under his breath and making promises to kill my boss at the first chance he got. I managed to calm him down a bit, hoping I would at least make it home by Saturday afternoon so I wouldn't miss out on his birthday party.

The hours were passing slowly so I ended up back at Emmett's campus an hour earlier than his class would end. I took place on one of the benches in front of the auditorium and just waited for the last hour to go by. My foot was tapping nervously and I was shifting in my seat, suddenly more nervous than ever.

When the door wiped open and the first students came out, I quickly stood up and walked towards them.

"Do you know an Emmett Cullen?" I asked to the first person that had came out. The guy just shook his head, next to almost ignoring me and made his way outside as quickly as possible.

Jerk.

I had more luck with the next person I spoke to, a girl this time. She pointed out a big muscular guy in the back of the class before heading out as well.

My eyes took the guy in while he was getting up from his place. Emmett looked buff but it didn't come off as threatening. He looked like a really nice guy if you'd ask me.

As he stepped closer, still oblivious to my attention on him, I could definitely see that zhe was Edward's brother. Not only did I recognise the teenager from the picture at Madelyn's place, but there were also a few other things that made it obvious. It wasn't very prominent but now that I knew they were related I just couldn't see him as anyone else besides Edward's brother and the realisation of really being this close to Emmett, someone who meant so much to Edward made me emotional. In a good way, of course.

I didn't know why but it felt like I already knew him, just by connecting all the stories Edward had once shared with me with the face.

When he had stepped out of the room, I drew in a quick breath and approached him.

"Emmett?" I asked, not really knowing how to start a conversation otherwise. It wasn't like I could just blurt out why I was here, right?

"Yeah?" he said, looking as confused as a human possibly could.

"Euhm, do you have a minute? I euhm..."

Dammit, this was so much more difficult than I had imagined. Why couldn't I just say it? It just sounded too weird to ask him to talk. I didn't even know him. And he had never even seen me before. He must have thought I was a psycho.

"Sure," he said, confusion still visible but he seemed to relax when he noticed that I was uncomfortable as well. He quickly motioned to his friends to go on without him before giving me his attention again.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" he asked. He looked kind of embarrassed, probably thinking he should remember me while he didn't. I had to bite the inside of my cheeks not to laugh at the look on his face.

"Can we talk somewhere else?" There were still people passing every second, talking loudly, and I didn't want to shout the information at him. And I figured out he might be shocked with the news, so a more private place seemed a better idea than a crowded hallway.

He scratched his hair, contemplating what to do before leading me towards another hallway that was almost deserted. I walked over to one of the benches, because seriously, my feet were starting to hurt. One of the things that I hated about pregnancy.

Emmett didn't sit down and kept quite a distance. It didn't offend me though. I guessed I would be doing the same if a stranger would ask me to talk. I didn't even know if I would have agreed to it in the first place.

He took in my form, trying to be subtle about it but he kind of blew that intention when his eyes went wide at the sight of my round stomach.

"Oh no no no," he exclaimed, backing up, "I am one hundred percent sure I've never seen you before so I'm not the father!"

I was surprised by his comment and less than a second later I burst out into laughter at the sight of him. I couldn't help it. The idea of him being the father was just too damn funny.

"What?" he asked, agitated, his hands on his hips and his eyes darting from me to the exit of the building.

Afraid that he was going to run I tried to get serious again while I silently thanked him for the confusion though because now I had a perfect occasion to bring up what I wanted to say.

"Don't worry, this is not your child," I giggled, unable to control myself. "But he is your nephew."

By the time I had finally managed to utter the words I was chewing my bottom lip uncontrollably, patiently waiting for his response.

He didn't say anything. For a very long time. A little too long.

"Emmett?" I asked, thinking he hadn't heard me.

"Tha-. How-. Bu-. " I would have found it amusing to see him stutter if it wasn't for the fact that his eyes were getting glassy. I didn't even want to think about all the questions that were going through his head now.

He was gripping his hair firmly now, reminding me so much of Edward I had to stifle another giggle.

"I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you," I said, "I just didn't know how to get to the point otherwise."

He was still looking at me like I was a ghost so I decided to just continue speaking.

"I'm Bella and I'm kinda, no, well, I _am_ Edward's girlfriend."

"You... Wait, Edward..." He still wasn't speaking very coherently but there was some improvement as I could decipher some words now.

"You know my brother?" he finally managed to squeak.

"Obviously," I laughed, pointing at my round belly.

"Is he here?" he asked, looking all around the place as if Edward would have been hiding there.

"No, he couldn't fly over here, a few broken ribs. In fact he doesn't even know I'm here."

"Why?"

"Well, I was hoping we could surprise him, as it's his birthday tomorrow," I said, suddenly feeling stupid for asking him to just hop on a plane with a stranger. It's not like he had any evidence that I knew his brother. I was thinking about ways to convince him but he answered before I came up with decent proof.

"I'd love that," Emmett said, looking like he had a hard time keeping himself together. I smiled at him, getting emotional myself. I couldn't wait to see the look on Edward's face if I would be able to get Emmett in Seattle.

I quickly gave him some information about what my plan was and that I actually wanted to catch the last plane tonight. He was looking at me, nodding all the time but I guessed his emotions kept him from responding. He agreed to taking the first possible plane back to Seattle, much to my surprise. I was a bit worried about his studies but he said that he would arrange something with a few of his friends.

"Why do you trust me?" I blurted out as we were walking out of the building, heading towards his dorm to pack a few essential things. I didn't know why, but the fact that he believed me without even considering I could be lying to him bothered me.

"I don't know. I guess I just want to believe that you can bring me to Edward so I haven't really thought about it," he smirked, still not freaking out. "Oh and the fact that you asked me, kind of shows me that you really do know Edward."

He had a point there. A real scam would never ask why someone would come along so easily. They would just celebrate and move along as fast as possible without drawing attention to the stupidity of the person they were trying to lynch.

"I still can't believe I'm gonna be an uncle," he said, changing the subject. "And I'm going to see Eddie again." He was staring out in front of him now, the biggest grin on his face and I couldn't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm. He was so funny without even realizing it.

"Well, in fact, you already are an uncle," I said matter of factly, still laughing.

His eyes shot at me and he looked puzzled until something seemed to dawn on. "Wait? What! This isn't your first child?" he shouted out, pointing at my stomach.

"Oh god, no, I mean, yes this is my first child," I laughed. That boy made some quick assumptions, that much was certain. But then again, I might have been thinking the same way if I were in his shoes. "Madelyn already has a baby girl," I told him.

His eyes grew wide at the mentioning of his sister and only then I realized that he would be reunited with her as well.

Great way to inform him about that, Bella! "I can't take this much," he groaned, rubbing his forehead. If it weren't for the big smile on his face I would have freaked out.

"Sorry, I apparently don't really think about the things I say," I said, apologetic.

"Any other news that might shock me?" he joked.

I thought about it for a while before answering him. "No, nothing yet."

"Good, because I don't think I could take anything on top of that."

Once we were at his dorm, he threw some essential things in a backpack, rushing from one side to another to pick up more stuff while I sat on his bed, watching him with amusement.

"When does our plane leave exactly?" he asked before disappearing in his bathroom. Yes, he sure was very well equipped here.

"Euhm, I don't know," I said. I had booked a plane to New Haven but as I didn't know when I would be leaving here I hadn't booked a plane back to Seattle again. And the fact that I hadn't known if I should have to buy one of two had made me postpone the booking.

"You want me to check the correct hour?" he asked, pointing at the laptop that rested on his desk.

"Could you book the tickets as well?"

"Oh, I see." His booming laugh filled the room and I couldn't help but laugh as well. He quickly started the computer and soon he was tapping the keyboard and clicking faster than my eyes could follow. "There we go. The first available flight is at 10PM and we're on it," he said after less than two minutes later.

"Awesome."

He grinned before turning his chair around to face me. "Now, tell me, how did my brother get so lucky to find you?"

For the reminder of the evening I talked about everything that had happened since I met Edward and everything else Edward himself had told me about his life after he had been kicked out. A few times I stopped promptly to ask Emmett if I was talking too much but he always shrugged it off and almost begged me to tell him more.

By the time we were boarding our plane I had arrived at the story of how I had found out where he lived and how I decided to come to New Haven on a whim.

"And that's how we ended up here," I laughed, waving my hands around the airplane to make my point clear.

"And I guess you now want to hear my story?" he asked, shifting a bit in his seat so that he was completely facing me. He must have been pretty uncomfortable in that little airplane seat, but he managed to make it work.

"I do but I think you should better keep it for when we're home," I said. I didn't want him to have to tell it twice because he would for sure have to go over the story again for Edward and Madelyn.

Everyone on board was making an attempt to sleep so we decided that would be the best thing to do as well. Well, for Emmett that is, because like I mentioned before, me and sleeping on a plane doesn't go together.

On our last layover I was already looking forward to seeing Edward again. It was ridiculous how much I missed him. And I had only been away for two days. In a way it was pathetic.

The weather outside had probably turned for the worst as they kept our plane to the ground for another hour. And then one hour turned into two, and two turned into three. I was completely freaking out by then because if they would delay it any longer we'd be too late for Edward's party.

Emmett tried to calm me down by saying that there was nothing we could do about it and that Edward would understand it.

After another two hours we were allowed to board the plane again, much to my relief. I would be late to welcome Madelyn and it kind of bothered me, even though I knew she'd probably forgive me the minute she knew the reason why I was late, just like Edward would.

The closer we got to my home, the more exited I got. I was almost bouncing in my seat which probably wasn't very good for Masen, but I couldn't help it.

When we finally landed in Seattle, I quickly pulled out my phone to check for any missed calls. There was one from Edward. I motioned to Emmett that I would call Edward back and asked him to keep quiet. I didn't want to ruin the surprise.

"Hey babe," he greeted me as he picked up.

"Happy birthday," I replied, the biggest grin on my face.

"It'll only be a happy one once you're back home." It sure will be, Edward, it sure will be.

"Well, I'm going to be home in about an hour, so...," I giggled.

"Perfect. Madelyn, Peter and Caroline have arrived an hour ago so we'll all be waiting for you to come home."

I quickly finished the phone call and noticed that Emmett was intently staring at me, his eyes glassing over.

"I'm really gonna see them in an hour, aren't I?" he whispered. It was more of a statement than a question so I just laid my hand on his arm as I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't imagine what he was going through right now but I guessed this was pretty serious.

"Are you ready?" I asked, when a cab pulled up in front of us.

He nodded as he stepped into the car after me. The entire drive to the apartment, Emmett remained silent. I guessed it had just finally hit him that he was going to be reunited with his siblings.

"Everything okay?" I asked when we were approaching my apartment.

"Yeah. I guess I've only just realized the enormity of this all," he said, confirming my earlier thoughts.

When the cab pulled over in front of my house, Emmett's eyes flashed at me, excitement visible.

"Is it here?"

"Yes," I said, smiling widely.

Before I even could move Emmett was out of the cab, heading towards the entrance.

"Calm down there, I'm a pregnant woman!" I shouted, making my way over to him as fast as possible.

"Sorry, I keep forgetting," He offered his arm even though that wasn't necessary. I took it nonetheless, not wanting to make him feel bad.

As we were waiting for the elevator, Emmett was impatiently tapping his foot against the concrete floor.

"Maybe it would be better if I went inside first, you know, warming them up a bit. I don't want them to have a heart attack or something."

"You're gonna prepare them for the coming of the big Emmett?" he laughed, thankfully understanding me.

"Something like that," I shrugged.

"Don't take too long though, you might think that an extra minute of waiting won't do any harm, but I'm really impatient."

"I'll remember that," I giggled.

As I pulled out my key I could already hear the hustle and bustle that was going on inside. Edward's loud laugh followed by the giggles of little Caroline and after that Madelyn's reprimanding voice. I smiled involuntarily. I was home again.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Next chapter: Reunion :D_

_Reviews make me happy, AND make you happy 'cause then you get a sneak peek_

_All my love to MidnightSunSC17_

_Love, Ellen_


	30. Little brother

_Partly unbeta'ed because my lovely beta is at a party and I don't want to interrupt her. I hope you guys can handle this… _

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 30: Little brother<strong>

_Bella  
><em>  
>I had only put one step inside of the apartment when two big arms pulled me in a tight hug.<p>

"You're never allowed to leave again," Edward mumbled against my neck.

I giggled as I put my arms around him, pulling him as close as possible with those broken ribs of his and my big belly. I was surprised that he wasn't wincing yet. "We'll see about that," I replied.

He whined before looking me in the eyes. "I think you should be a bit more compliant. You did already miss eleven hours of my birthday."

"I think my present will make up for that," I said, turning serious again.

"You're enough of a present to me." He softly pressed his lips to mine before deepening the kiss. I had missed his kisses and the way his lips moves perfectly in sync with mine. I had missed running my fingers through his entangled hair. I had missed the sensation of his skin. I had simply missed every single thing about him.

"Edward, I would like to give you your birthday present first," I said, after coming up for air. I remembered Emmett saying something about not having much patience and I really didn't want him to ruin it all by busting in the room.

"Okay," he said, confused as to why I didn't want to wait.

"But you'll have to share it with Madelyn, well, partially," I grinned.

His eyes grew wide. Yes, I was talking in riddles but I loved the confused look on his face.

"I don't like to share," he pouted, following behind me as I walked into the living room.

I briefly greeted Madelyn, Peter and little Caroline. Even though the party was only this afternoon they had already arrived earlier, making their visit worth it as they came all the way over here. Alice and Jasper would be joining us later to complete the party.

Edward took place next to his sister, who was sitting in one of the big chairs near our small kitchen isle. His eyes were fixated on me, curiosity tracing his features.

"Erm, I'd better warn you," I started but I really didn't know how to prepare him enough not to have a heart attack but without giving away too much. His brow furrowed in confusion but he didn't say anything.

"Just be prepared for something huge," I added before walking backwards towards the door again.

"Finally," Emmett shouted in amusement as I opened the door to let him in. Apparently it was loud enough for everyone inside to hear as I could hear a gasp coming from the kitchen.

Well, that's a nice warning. I quickly led him inside, a proud smile tugging at my lips as I halted in front of everyone.

Both Edward and Madelyn were frozen in their spots, gaping at Emmett as if he were a hallucination that would disappear if they blinked.

And Emmett, well, it seems like he had lost every ounce of nervousness as he had stepped into the room, because right now he was wearing the smuggest look. A look that said 'Well, here I am, what are you going to do about it'.

"Emmett?" Madelyn shocked out, pressing her hand in front of her mouth to quiet the sobbing sounds that were threatening to come out.

I stepped aside from Emmett, suddenly feeling a bit out of place in this whole reunion and when I looked at Peter I saw he was kind of wearing the same look, even though he looked overjoyed as well.

As in slow motion Edward stood up from his place and walked over to Emmett. And a second later he enveloped him in a tight, but manly hug. No words were said as it wasn't necessary; the gesture said enough.

"Look like you've hit the jackpot here, man," Emmett grinned slapping his brother shoulder. Edward winced at the gesture but joy apparently outweighed the pain as he didn't say a thing about it. "You have no idea," Edward whispered, still overwhelmed, tears in his eyes.

Madelyn was still staring in disbelief at the entire scene, but she had already made a move to come closer. Silent tears were streaming down her face when she finally put her arms around her little brother, pulling him in a hug. "Hey big sis," Emmett said, "I've heard I have a niece and I kind of wanted to meet her." And that was enough for Madelyn to break down completely. She was sobbing uncontrollably, clutching to her brother like she was afraid he would walk away again any second.

As on command, Caroline suddenly started to cry, making her presence no longer unknown. Peter quickly got up from his chair and picked the little girl out of her baby seat, cradling her 'til the crying subsided.

Madelyn pulled away from her brother and walked over to her husband, carefully taking Caroline out of his hands before walking back to Emmett.

The little girl was giggling now, apparently liking the fact that all the attention was on her. Her little brown curls bounced on her head as she excitingly squirmed in her mother's arms.

"Sweetheart, this is your uncle," Madelyn said. Her voice broke at the word uncle and it's only then I realized I was getting fairly emotional as well. I had to choke back a sob at the entire scene in front of me.

The little girl stuck her hands out towards Emmett, her little fingers wiggling as she wanted to be in his arms. Madelyn carefully placed her in his arms and showed him how to hold her properly.

Edward had backed off a bit, allowing Madelyn to have her moment with their brother. He had wrapped his arms around my waist as much as possible with that round belly of mine and pulled my back flush with his chest.

"I love you so much," he whispered in my ear before resting his chin on my shoulder. I placed my hands on his arm, squeezing it softly.

"Happy birthday," I said in return. He hummed in response, tightening his arms around me just a little more.

Emmett was babbling to the little one now, acting like a child himself, but Caroline seemed to like it as she was giggling non-stop. When she was yawning, he gave her back to her mother to put her back in her baby seat to take a nap.

Once Emmett had his hands free, he strolled over to me, pulling me in a tight hug. Edward was only fast enough to pull his arms from around me before his brother would pull him in the embrace as well. I giggled and softly padded his back. "Thank you," he said.

"Bella, you owe us an explanation," Madelyn said as most of the hugging seemed over.

"I guess I do, don't I?" I laughed.

We all headed to the living room, taking our seats on the couch. Edward pulled me in his lap. I was hesitant at first as I didn't want to hurt his ribs. But he was persistent and didn't take no for an answer. Guess this whole injury wasn't as bad after all. Or he was just acting brave.

"You're the best, you know that?" he said once I was finally seated, pressing a soft kiss on my lips and his other hand caressing my stomach.

"I'm not. I actually kind of lied to you, about the past two days," I said softly, still a bit scared he would be mad about it.

"Enlighten me, please," he said amused, his tone easing my nerves. Did he know anything about it? I basically just said I lied to him and he doesn't even call me out on it? Weird.

But I decided not to call him out on it and just tell my story.

"Well, you're not gonna have to kill Mr. Black because he has nothing to do with me leaving Seattle," I started.

"Go on." His expression was far from hostile so I knew that in the end everything would be fine. More than fine.

"A few weeks ago I had asked my father to look if he could find anything on Emmett, you know, because he's a cop and stuff. And Wednesday he called me with little information, just that he was studying at Yale and..."

"Yale?" Madelyn shouted in disbelieve.

Emmett nodded, looking prouder than I've ever seen him. "Science," he added.

"I always knew you were brilliant," she added, her eyes brimming with tears again. Tears of pride because of her successful little brother. It was a lovely sight to behold.

"Bella?" Edward said, bringing me back to the story.

"Yeah, right, sorry, well, I didn't have much to go by but I really wanted to give it a try, so I hopped on a plane in a whim. I hoped to find him as soon as possible so I could convince him to come with me for your birthday."

"Seems like you succeeded," he said, wrapping his arms around me and nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck. "I love you." His voice was no louder than a whisper, only loud enough for me to hear.

"So you're not mad at me for lying?" I asked incredulous.

"You've just given me the most amazing gift of all, how on earth could I be mad at you?" he asked.

"I lied."

"Yeah, about that. Why didn't you tell me? I could have come with you."

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you. You're not allowed to fly," I said, softly poking his ribs to proof my statement.

"Not fair," he mumbled before turning his attention back to Emmett who was intently staring at us while having a shushed conversation with Madelyn and Peter. I would bet my life that they were talking about Edward and me.

"So Em, what happened to you after Madelyn and I left?" Edward asked. Suddenly everyone was looking expectantly at Emmett, curious about how his life turned out after that one disastrous day.

"It had been quite the run," he muses. I could almost see him going through his memories, fishing out the one from the day their family fell apart.

"Do you still live with mom and dad, when you're not on campus?" Madelyn asked, her voice traced with concern and I guess some fear as well. Fear that their parents would find them through Emmett.

"No, I moved out," he stated.

"When?" Edward asked, relief obvious in his voice.

"A few weeks after you two left. It was the final draw for mom and dad."

"What do you mean?"

"They fell apart after you guys left. I've seriously never seen them that way. Mom was crying and dad was pacing around the entire house. I guess for the first time it dawned on them that they hadn't done a good job at raising us." Emmett's face was emotionless as he said it, while Edward and Madelyn stared at him in disbelief. I scolded internally at their parents. _Bit late to realize you've fucked up the upbringing of your children. _

"When I came down for dinner that evening, they were there, sitting at the table, pleading me to join them. I hated them so much in that moment that I just turned on my heels and stomped up the stairs. I could hear mom's cries fill the room as I made my way to my room."

We were all silent for what seemed like an eternity. Madelyn and Edward were staring at Emmett in disbelief and I, well, I just felt highly uncomfortable being part of this, but I couldn't move even if I wanted to. Edward had locked his arms around me and I realized I was comforting him just with my presence so I stayed where I was.

"They were home every evening after that day, trying to make conversation with me and asking me all sort of questions to bond with me. I ignored them or gave them short answers and every day I could see how they were breaking down even further."

"They actually did an effort?" Madelyn asked, shocked.

"Yeah, well, I didn't like it. I was so full of hate I wanted nothing more than to leave the house as well. Unfortunately I had nowhere to go so I was stuck in that mad house."

"When did you manage to get out then?" Edward asked.

"We'll get to that part in a minute," Emmett answered, motioning to his brother to at least have a bit of patience.

"Euhm, where was I... right, so, I hated them. And they kept stalking me, asked me to take a trip with them to who-knows-where every goddamn day. Three days after you guys left, they both stopped working, they said they wanted to spend as much time with me as possible. It sickened me that they only did it now, after you two already left out of misery."

"Dad gave up the company?"

"He resigned as CEO," Emmett explained to his sister, "and that's not all of it. Two weeks later they were tired of the big house. It didn't feel like home anymore, they said. So we moved out, after I threw another tantrum about not wanted to move with them, of course."

"Makes sense now why no one answered the door at Christmas," Edward mumbled, slightly defeated. I remember the story he told me about wanting to return to his parents on Christmas, hoping they'd forgive him and take him back.

I ran my fingers through Edward's hair, soothing him as much as possible. _Well, at least he knows now that he wasn't rejected that day... _

"You came back?" Emmett asked surprised.

"Yeah."

"If mom would have known..." he mumbled before turning his attention to Madelyn. "Did you want to come back?"

Madelyn shook her head slowly, probably ashamed because she never attempted to save her brother but Emmett didn't seem to be mad at her. He just smiled at her before continuing his story.

"I had to do the last months of my final year of high school in a new school. Even though it sucked, I took all kinds of extra-curricular activities, only to be away from home more often."

A feeling of sadness settled in. I couldn't begin to know how he must have felt, trying to escape home, or what was left of it.

"Do you remember uncle Carlisle?" Emmett suddenly asked, his eyes going from Edward to Madelyn as he was waiting for their response. Edward looked at his little brother with confusion and shook his head. Madelyn on the other hand confessed that she had one memory of the man visiting them, when she was little.

"I'm not surprised you don't remember him, Edward. You were only four then."

"Yeah, well, I didn't know him as well, of course. I didn't even know our father had siblings," Emmett continued. Edward had moved to sit straighter, listening to every word Emmett was saying now.

"He visited three weeks after we had moved in in the new house. Apparently he lived in the neighbourhood. I had heard someone yelling in the living room that day so I went downstairs to eavesdrop. When I heard a voice I didn't know I casually strolled through the living room to the kitchen to see who the voice belonged to. That's when mom and dad introduced me to our uncle. Imagine my surprise at that moment."

"Why didn't we ever see him?" Edward asked, dumbfounded.

"He didn't approve of the way mom and dad raised us and they didn't approve of the way uncle Carlisle was interfering," Emmett explained, "They accused him of not knowing how hard it is to raise kids as he didn't have any of his own. His wife Esme couldn't have children so that comment was liek a dagger to his heart. After that discussion our uncle swore to never talk to them again and he never did. Until that day. He had heard about his brother coming back to town and was curious about how things were going with the assumed happy family. Needless to say he had a huge 'I told you so-grin' on his face the entire time he was with our parents."

"Why didn't he interfere? He knew we were neglected?" Edward said a bit angrily.

"He didn't know. He only assumed it 'til that day. He asked me then to join the conversation. I was hesitant at first but curiosity won over fear for this strange relative, so I sat down on the couch, as far away as possible from our uncle. He turned around and looked at me, a look of sadness on his face, making me feel more uncomfortable with every minute that passed. And then he asked me about my childhood."

Madelyn gasped, her eyes questioning him about what he had said to their uncle. Did he lie in front of his parents of did he tell the truth?"

"I told him everything," Emmett said, a wicked grin on his face, "I know that it might have been cruel as I knew it would hurt mom and dad even more, but I wanted to see the pain on their faces and I wanted them to know just how much we had suffered by the lack of their affection. Uncle Carlisle had listened to every word and in that moment I realized he was a good man and nothing like his brother. I felt sad for not knowing him and maybe hated him a bit for the fact that I didn't. After my story he turned back to mom, who was crying by now, and dad, who had his head bowed down in defeat. He started to accuse them of everything, saying that they had been given the gift of children and they had just wasted it and then, after a tirade of more than five minutes, he did the thing that shocked me the most; he turned towards me and asked if I wanted to move in with him."

The smile on Emmett face was enough to see that he was very fond of this man, and with reasons.

"He asked you to move in with him?" Edward asked.

"Yes."

"Did you?"

"Mom and dad pleaded for me to stay, saying that they were trying to change and to be better parents for me and begged for another chance. And maybe they did try to be better, but for me, they were too late to ask for that, so yes, I went with uncle Carlisle. Once I had made my decision they never protested. They said they wanted me to be happy and if that would make me happy then so it be."

"Wow-" Madelyn sighed, slouching back into the couch, taking everything in. Even I already had a hard time to take it in, so I couldn't quite grasp the enormity of it all for Edward and Madelyn.

"I'm so glad you could get away from them," Edward said, a soft smile on his lips. "And his wife, did she agree with you moving in?"

"She passed away eight years ago. Terrible car accident. Uncle Carlisle never found someone else, or at least he never tried to. He's convinced that he'll never be able to love anyone like he loves Esme. It was actually a good thing I came to live with him; it made him less lonely."

"How is he like?" Madelyn asked, a little smile on her lips.

"He's amazing," Emmett grinned, "He has been like a real father to me. I wished he had saved us all sooner." He almost whispered the last part, feeling bad that only he had been the one to have that luck. "He pays for my education now. He's pretty wealthy as well as he's an excellent doctor. Everyone loves him. It's almost crazy how much people would do for him."

"The complete opposite of Mark..." Edward murmured against my shoulder. Again, addressing his parents with their first names, while Emmett and Madelyn still had the ability to call them mom and dad. I guess being kicked out instead of leaving voluntarily changes stuff...

"Yeah, the _complete _opposite," Emmett answered, smiling brightly now. He was happy, that much was certain.

Even though all of these three people had had a shitty childhood, they all had fallen into place, finding their own happy place.

Madelyn stood up from her place and embraced her little brother. "I'm so happy for you," she whispered.

The reminder of the morning and early afternoon was spend by telling stories, happy ones mostly as none of them wanted to be reminded of what they now called 'the dark times.' I had to stifle a giggle as they decided on the name. It was all a bit to Harry Potterish for me.

By two o'clock Jasper and Alice joined the pack and were quickly introduced to Emmett as well.

As everyone was seated at the table and eating Edward's birthday cake I glanced around, looking at everyone. All of these people, they meant the world to me. Even Madelyn and Emmett already stole my heart, just because they were part of Edward's. I realized that in a short span of time I had grown a family of my own. I was no longer alone, counting down the days 'til I could go visit my dad in Forks. Of course I still missed him, but I was finally growing up, moving on with life and it was the best feeling in the world.

I placed my hands on my belly, feeling the soft kicks of Masen and in that moment I realized that some things are just meant to be. I looked up at Edward, who was now smiling at me like he had won the lottery, and maybe he had in some way. It's not every day that you are reunited with your lost brother.

He placed his hand on top of mine and briefly kissed my temple before continuing his conversation with Peter. If he wasn't talking to Emmett he was talking to his sister or Peter, about babies and everything else that comes with having a child.

Time flew by and all too soon Alice and Jasper got up to leave. I was genuinely shocked to see it was already past eleven. Apparently Madelyn and Peter had lost track of time as well because when I had noticed the time, they got up to leave as well.

After a quick goodbye I decided to head to bed as well. I was utterly exhausted because of all that travelling. Emmett and Edward were still in the living room, deep in conversation.

I walked over to them and placed a kiss on Edward's head. He turned his head towards me and gave me a breathtaking smile.

"I'm going to sleep," I announced, dragging my head once again through his hair.

"Oh, okay, I'll be there in a sec," he said already making an attempt to get up, but I pushed him down on the couch again.

"No, it's okay. Stay," I smiled. I didn't want to take him away from his brother, especially not because I knew he would be leaving again tomorrow. He had classes to attend after all.

I quickly changed into my comfortable pyjamas and snuggled into the duvet. I drifted off the sleep immediately, feeling happier than I had ever been before.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hope you guys are still with me._

_To be honest, I'm kind of feeling like it has been enough, so I'm going to wrap this up quickly. I guess about five, six chapters left… But maybe, if I get the feel again, It'll be more… I don't know yet…_

_I do can tell that I'm already working on another fic but I don't know when I'll post the prologue _

_(Yes, I do not know a lot these days :'D)_

_As usual, Reviewers get a sneak peek to the next chapter ;) It might be just a look on what the next chapter will be about ;) _

_And as usual, all my love to MidnightSunSC17 because she's the best! _

_Love, Ellen_


	31. One big family

_Another unbeta'ed story 'cause my girl apparently already went to sleep. (Hereby, sweet dreams love ;D) _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 31: One big family<strong>

"Call me when you land," Edward had yelled as Emmett stepped out of the door the day after his birthday. I hadn't been able to stop myself from snickering at the tone in Edward's voice, as if he was the parent and Emmett was the child. In fact that's maybe how it had been when they were younger, in some weird fucked-up way.

And that whole little conversation was four months ago now. We haven't seen Emmett since then even though he wanted to visit almost every weekend. Luckily we had managed to make him stay in New Haven. The last thing I wanted out of this reunion was Emmett neglecting his schoolwork.

Edward called his brother every week though, nothing serious, just to discuss random stuff, asking about what they had been up to and any other plans they might have. It made me realize that they must have missed each other to an extinct I couldn't comprehend.

And another change; thanks to Emmett, Edward has been in contact with his uncle, Carlisle, as well and they seem to get along amazingly. Up until now we had never had a chance to go see him, even though he only lives about three hours away from us, but we had to promise him that once the little one had arrived, we would go see him.

And of course, Masen was Edward's main topic and main concern nowadays. Seriously, the world rose and shined with baby talk. Well, I guess I should have considered myself lucky he hadn't freaking out yet. I was usually the one that filled in that role. The closer we got to the birth, the more anxious I became. I started freaking about every little thing; clothes, diapers, the baby room... But most of all, I wondered if we would make it, if we were ready to be parents. But there was no wondering, this was really happening and we would have to deal with it.

But the last two days, Edward had been the one tearing his hair out, much to my amusement to be honest. His behaviour had passed that point that it actually became hilarious to watch him.

I was due two days ago and still not a sign that Masen was going to come soon. It's driving Edward crazy.

"I know it must be really, _really_ cosy in there, buddy, but don't you think it's about time you come out and meet me?"

We were cuddled up on the sofa, watching some lame tv-show. Well, I was watching and Edward kept cooing and rubbing my stomach, hoping that it would make my water break sooner.

"Bella, I must have scared him," Edward suddenly said, looking at me.

"You what?" I giggled. His expression was serious and I didn't know if he meant it or if he was just kidding.

"Scared him. That's why he doesn't want to come out of there!"

I rolled my eyes at this goofiness. "Yeah, that must be it."

"No, seriously."

"Edward, you'll just have to be patient," I laughed. He was seriously too cute. But of couse I understood him, I really did. To be honest, I wanted that baby out of there as soon as possible. My back was killing me, not to mention my feet or my neck. Every little move hurt. Pregnancy isn't all butterflies and rainbows, that much is certain.

"I have been patient for nine months now," he pouted. What did I say? Too cute.

"Oh you just wait, there will be times you'll wish he never came out."

"I doubt it."

"I know it."

"Don't listen to your mommy, Masen, she's trying to keep you all to herself, I know her tricks, she's so selfish," he quickly whispered to my stomach, his eyes flashing back and forth between me and my stomach.

"Oh Edward, what are we going to do with you," I laughed, dragging my hand through his untamed hair. He just grinned at me before resuming his monologue with my belly.

Not only five minutes later my cell phone rang. I quickly fished it out of my pocked and checked the display.

"No, Alice, nothing yet," I answered instantly, knowing exactly why she was calling. Every two hours we could expect a call from her, asking about the baby and if there was any progress already.

You might think that a woman who's about to get married has better things to do that to stalk the maid of honour with pregnancy questions, but no, not Alice. Three weeks before her wedding and the woman wasn't even stressing out. This was so not Alice. I was kind of waiting for her to start freaking out, but nothing. She was calmer than I'd ever seen her. Well, she had everything planned, 'til the very last second and everyone involved was desperate to make sure nothing would fuck up her schedule...

"Bella, you've gotta do something. You're already two days late!" she whined. I rolled my eyes at her statement.

"Have you tried anything from the list?" she added in her high pitched-Alice-like voice.

Oh, right. _The list._

Leave it to Alice to send me a list with every trick there is to make you go into labour quicker. Walking, herbs, some weird tea, spicy food and on top of that list, marked in red; sex.

Well, it was obvious Alice had never tried to have sex while being very pregnant...

"I've walked around my apartment, but seriously, my feet are killing me. And I don't feel like eating stuff I don't like," I replied, hoping she would just drop the subject.

Apparently it was very common for babies to be born later than the due date nowadays. Doctors only started to worry after two weeks, so why would I try to push things? I'm only two days late. Two little days. Everyone was just overreacting in my opinion.

"Bellaaa, you've gotta try more!"

"Why don't you worry about your wedding, then I'll worry about my son," I said.

"I am worrying about my wedding! If you don't go into labour soon, you'll still be pregnant at my wedding. What if you go into labour a minute before the service? That would ruin my entire schedule. Or what if..."

"Alice!" I yelled, to stop her. I could hear her yelp because I'd interrupted her so briskly. Even Edward had flinched at my harsh tone.

Yes, I was irritable as well, but hey, I had an excuse, I was pregnant!

"Everything will be just fine. Just give it some time," I said, already calmed down again, probably thanks to the soothing circles Edward was rubbing on my stomach.

"But Bella..."

"Don't you Bella me," I said, ready to throw a whole lot of arguments at her as to why her wedding was going to be amazing.

But luckily she received another call that moment so she had to let me go.

Seriously, why was everyone so freaking out about this birth? In the end it was me who had to do it, right? I shuddered at the thought. That was one of the things that freaked me out the most.

I didn't want to be drugged, I really wanted to experience it all, but I feared the pain above anything. Would I be able to handle it?

I knew Edward would be by my side every second, but that doesn't really make the baby any smaller.

A few days ago I had already spent more than an hour on the phone with Alice, expressing my fear about giving birth. That was one of the many times I wanted my mom to be still alive. I really wished I could ask her about this tall, talk to her about how hard it is or maybe she could tell me how to get through it easily. She would have known how to make me feel better.

But I guess Alice was a good substitute, even though she hadn't yet experienced a pregnancy herself.

"You and Alice, you're both the same," I sighed amused as I had put my phone back in my pocket. "Impatient little children."

Edward just snickered in response.

"Anyway, I'm going to sleep," I announced, already getting up to go to the bedroom. Edward followed instantly, watching my every move as I walked to our room.

"Edward, stop watching me like you expect my water to break any second," I laughed.

"Can't help it," he shrugged as I pulled the covers over us.

"My boy, you better come out of there tomorrow, or I'll be very, very disappointed in you," Edward said faux-severe to my stomach.

"Give the little one a break, will you?" I laughed.

"Seriously, if he decides to stay another day, I'm going to lose my mind."

"Your mind will be just fine."

"Can we try some of those things from Alice her list tomorrow?" he asked, seriously.

"We'll see," I said, afraid to make any promises. Promises I didn't like to keep.

"Preferably the first one," he added with a smug look. _Oh Alice, what are you doing to me?_

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Edward, I'm fat!"

"No, you're not. You're pregnant. And beautiful," he said before softly pressing his lips to mine.

The next day was pretty similar to the previous one. Only did I try to remember to walk around more often, just as much as my feet and my back would allow me.

Edward was gone to work, much to his dismay of course. But actually I was kind of relieved he was. It meant rest for me. I didn't think I could handle another round of his whining about this all. I already felt bad for Suzy because now she had to be around my whiny Edward. Or maybe she was able to tame him. Who knows...

I had actually hoped that today would be the day and that I could call Edward to tell him the good news but unfortunately, nothing had changed. I was still very pregnant and even I was getting frustrated now.

The disappointed look on Edward's face when he came home almost broke my heart.

"Nothing yet, I assume," he said softly while hanging up his pea coat. This year's January wasn't very nice on us. The cold wind made it almost unbearable to walk outside. It cut like knives through your flesh. But then again, this year was as good as snow and ice free. I guess Mother Nature thought about clumsy, pregnant me this year.

I shook my head as I walked over to Edward. "Look, if by tonight nothing has happened yet we can try the list," I said. I guess I would do anything to wipe that sad look of his face.

"The top one?" His eyes lit up and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. _Men_

"The top one," I promised, as I kissed him. I could feel him smile against my lips and was reminded of how much I actually loved his man. I would literally do anything for him, even surrender to the horrible list.

The mood around the apartment had increased drastically ever since my promise and that was probably the only reason why I didn't regret making it.

"Are you gonna set the table?" I asked Edward, "This little one still thinks my bladder is a football or something."

"It's gonna be a football player then?" Edward shrugged.

"Oh god, I hope not. We can't play football in the apartment."

"Hmm, probably not."

As I reached for the bathroom doorknob something shifted inside my stomach and a second later water was running down my legs.

"Edwaaaard," I yelled, a little shocked as I stared at the pool of water at my feet.

"What is it, baby," he asked, as he ran my way, but then he noticed the water and an answer was unnecessary.

A huge grin spread across his face as he took it all in and only a second later he had already picked up my overnight bag from out of our room and was leading me to our car.

"Well, no sex for me tonight," he mumbled, but I don't think he really minded. The smile on his face said that much. And it was a look I preferred over anything in the world.

As I stepped into the car my mind was racing by a thousand kilometres an hour.

We were going to be parents.

The next time I was in this apartment, I would be a mother.

Oh my.

* * *

><p><em>Edward.<em>

Fucking finally!

That was the very first thought that ran through my head when I saw the pool of water at my girl's feet.

And then reality hit me.

Now it was going to happen. Our baby was going to come and I had to take action and get Bella to the hospital as soon as possible.

The ride to the hospital was the most nerve-wracking thing I had ever had to experience in my entire life. It seemed like every citizen of Seattle was trying to prevent me from getting there on time. Old ladies crossing the street, the slowest drivers in the world all around me, traffic lights hating on me, traffic diversions,...

I knew I should have been the one calming Bella but of course, it had been the other way around. She was shushing me as I made my way through the streets, preventing me from doing something stupid like running over someone or something.

But luckily we made it on time.

Bella was quickly put into a wheelchair and led to a room where we would just have to wait for the dilation to be ten centimetres.

I sent a quick text to about half of Bella's address book – I didn't want to be accused of forgetting anyone - to announce that the little one was finally on its way. Alice responded immediately, saying that she was already on her way over here and Charlie called me a minute later – he wasn't a big fan of texting – saying that he'd try to get there as soon as possible. Even Madelyn said she'd try to come even though I told her not to rush, but of course she wouldn't have any of that. "I want to see my first nephew rather sooner than later," she had said and I had just surrendered and let her do whatever the hell she wanted to do. But of course I was happy that she was going to be here as well.

By now, Bella was having some heavy contractions, which I very much hated. I hated seeing her in pain, even though I knew it was just the normal procedure, but I hated to be this helpless.

I wish there was just a way to get the baby out of there without her being in this much pain.

An hour later I was pacing around like a madman, hoping that we would soon be out of this room and in the delivery room.

I couldn't wait to see my boy for the first time.

_My boy... _This was really it. I was going to be a parent, a father. I was going to raise a baby. And even though I was slightly freaking out about it, I was looking forward to it so much. I knew that we would never fuck-up completely. So many people had managed to raise a baby before so why couldn't we do it?

And of one thing I was one hundred percent sure; I would love our child to no extend.

Alice and Jasper had already arrived and were waiting outside. Too many people would cause Bella too much stress which would result in heavier contractions. Or so did the doctors tell us...

The next six hours everything passed in a blur. Bella's contractions had gotten so heavy she was squeezing my hand so hard that I thought she had broken a few bones in there.

But of course, I'm not the one to complain here. I didn't have to push a baby out of my body, thank fucking god.

When the doctor finally announced that the ten centimetres had been reached, they wheeled Bella out of the room, me following suit, excited and scarred at the same time.

I had watched from the sideline as doctors were running around in a chaotic order to get everything ready for our baby to come.

I hardly remember anything from then 'til the doctor in charge spoke those five words that I'll never forget in my entire life.

"Congratulations, it's a boy."

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><p><em>AN: BABY TIME! _

_Babies make me all sappy. Seriously. Oh and I dedicate this chapter to Stien, because she's a sap for pregnant women and babies as well ;)  
><em>

_Reviewers get a sneak peek of Daddy Edward :') So leave me love ;)_

_Love, Ellen_


	32. Masen

**Chapter 32: Masen**

A boy. Oh my... a boy.

I really had a son now.

I, Edward Cullen, was a father.

I could only stare in disbelieve at the little blood-covered baby they'd just placed on Bella's chest. That little crying bundle was my son. _Our son.  
><em>  
>"We'll have to take him for some final tests now," the nurse informed us after a while and even though I knew that was just a standard procedure I felt like saying no. I felt like I already had to protect him. Bella was giving the nurse the exact same look as she reluctantly handed over our son. Our son.<p>

_Well, that was something I was going to need to get used to..._

I kept staring at the door behind which they had hidden my boy, once again completely oblivious to everything around me.

"Sir?"

A friendly nurse shook me of my thoughts of storming into that room to take Masen away from those people.

They were wheeling Bella out of the delivery room to another one where she could rest. Apparently she had already been through the afterbirth and whatever had to happen while I was preventing myself from busting through the door.

"We have a boy," she said softly, her voice betraying her exhaustion.

I smiled widely, unable to contain my enthusiasm and pride. "We do."

"I wouldn't believe it if it weren't for that pain down between my legs." She grimaced as she spoke those words and I tried to forget about the specifics of it.

I clutched her hand between mine, gently rubbing circles on her palm. "I'm so proud of you, baby."

She gave me a small laugh before yawning. "I think you should get some rest now," I said, pressing a light kiss on her forehead.

As my girl dozed off to sleep I quietly went outside only to almost be knocked over by an extremely enthusiastic Alice.

"AND?"

"And what?" I asked amused. She looked at me as if she was wondering if there had really come a baby out of Bella or just a poof of air. Of course I knew that she was just wondering if he was completely healthy but the look was just too funny to ignore.

"I guess everything went just fine?" Jasper chimed in.

I nodded, feeling prouder then I've ever felt in my entire life.

"You're looking at the father of Masen Cullen," I announced as if it was the most important event in human history. Well, it sure was a big fucking deal to me.

"Congratulations!" Alice yelped while jumping up and down like an energizing bunny. _Where the hell does she get all of that energy?_

Jasper slapped my back, congratulating me as well.

"Can we see him? Can we see him?" energizing bunny asked.

"Well, I was kind of wondering the same," I laughed, "They just had to do some final tests and measuring and stuff."

"Oh okay, let me know when we can, okay?"

"Will do," I replied.

"And Bella?" Alice asked, looking at the door which led to her room.

"Sleeping."

"Did she yell at you?" she asked, a big smirk on her face. _Oh, sucker for drama huh?  
><em>  
>"No," I laughed.<p>

"She didn't shout at you that it was all your fault?"

"Nowp."

"Dammit," she huffed before turning back to her chair in the hallway.

"Sweetheart, I really have to leave now. My boss won't be happy if I'm late today," Jasper said to Alice before shooting me an apologetic look.

"But I want to see Masen," she pouted, even though I could see that she also knew that she would have to leave.

After a promise to come back as soon as they could, they left and let me return to Bella's room.

She was still sleeping, her soft, rhythmic breathing was the only sound in the room. It was calming and almost lulled me to sleep as well.

I was startled awake again when the door was opened and a young blonde nurse entered the room, holding a clip-board. She threw a quick glance at it before looking back at me. "Mr Cullen?"

I nodded in confirmation.

"If you like, you can see your son now. We've finished the tests." the nurse said, smiling sweetly.

"I can?"

She nodded with an amused expression on her face.

I glanced to Bella, who was still sleeping, despite our conversation. I didn't want to leave her as I wanted to be with her when she woke up, but on the other hand, I really wanted to go see Masen.

"We can bring him back here once your wife is awake," she said sweetly. For a second I wanted to correct her about the wife part but I kind of liked the sound of it so I didn't. My wife. _Yeah, that had to happen sometime_.

After another look at the sleeping Bella I decided to go see Masen. Yes, I was eager to meet my son but could you blame me? I mean, I had to wait to see him for nine horribly long months!

I followed the nurse into a small room, with only a changing table and a few chairs. The woman asked me to sit down in one of the chairs before disappearing into the room attached to the one I currently was in.

When she returned, she was holding a little, white bundle. I could hardly see my boy as he was all wrapped up in what seemed to be towels.

"Would you mind opening your shirt?" the lady asked. I just frowned at her in confusion. Why would I have to open my shirt? I just wanted to hold my son...

"The baby prefers skin to skin contact," she added with a soft smile, answering my unspoken question. "And those are actually the first steps to your father- son relationship."

"Oh okay."

I quickly unbuttoned my shirt, with trembling hands though because I was so eager to hold Masen for the very first time.

The moment the nurse put my little boy in my arms I was completely at his mercy. I knew right that moment that I'd be overly protective of this tiny guy and I'd probably spoil him to rotten. One look and I was done for.

He wriggled a bit before finally settling in my arms, his tiny little head against my bare chest. It was a truly magical moment and I had a hard time trying to control my emotions.

"Hi there," I whispered, scared that if I talked any louder I would hurt him or something.

I couldn't hide my smile when all he did was stir again and move his tiny pink lips.

I softly pressed my lips against his forehead, a big lump forming in my throat. _So much for controlling those emotions...  
><em>  
>Everything seemed just so unreal. I just couldn't believe that that baby was my son.<p>

I softly caressed his cheeks with my little finger, overwhelmed by the love I already felt for this little man I had just met.

He snuggled even closer to me as I softly started talking to him, saying the most random stuff.

The nurse returned after while - I had never even noticed she had left the room in the first place - saying Bella had woken up.

I was shocked when I realized that I had already been in this room for well over two hours.

Reluctantly I handed Masen back to the nurse who was going to bring him to our room in a minute. I didn't know why I just couldn't take him, but she was the expert so I didn't question her.

I strolled back to Bella's room, feeling lighter than ever. I kind of wanted to pinch myself to see if I wasn't dreaming. It just seemed so unreal.

A year and a half ago I was still wandering the streets of Seattle, struggling every day to stay alive and to survive the fucked-up climate and now I was walking through a hospital, going to the girl I loved, the girl who had just given birth to my son.

"Hi there daddy," Bella said, giving me a big smile as I stepped into the room.

"That'll take some getting used to," I laughed.

Bella instantly reached out for my hand, which I gingerly gave her. I carefully went to sit next to her on the bed.

"They're bringing our little man in a minute," I said, seeing a bit of a forlorn look on her face.

And as if on cue the same blonde nurse entered the room, wheeling the crib inside the room. Bella instantly went to sit straighter, peeking inside the baby bed. She was biting that damn lip of hers in anticipation.

Carefully, the nurse lifted the little bundle out of the crib and put our son in Bella's arms. The look with which my girl was looking at our boy was making me emotional again.

I put my arms around both of them, pressing another kiss on my girl's hair. She was just staring at the sleeping baby in her arms, softly caressing his little arms.

"He's so tiny," she whispered, never tearing her eyes away. I just smiled, loving this tiny bubble we were wrapping ourselves into. We spend a while in silence after that, just enjoying the feeling of us, our little family we've just started.

Bella and I were both so focused on Masen, watching his every move and his every expression. Both laughing when he scrunched his little nose or yawned or even when he started moving those tiny perfect lips of his. But most of all, both of us were already sharing this great emotion, something unexplainable until you've experienced it yourself; the unconditional love for your child.

A soft knock on the door got us both out of our trance, making us look away from Masen for the first time since they'd placed him in Bella's arms. Charlie rushed inside the room, muttering something about damn traffic jams. We both chuckled in amusement.

"Hi Bells," he said, smiling widely before turning to me. "Edward, man." He slapped my shoulder lightly, in a very friendly way. I couldn't help but return his enormous smile. It had taken Bella's old man some time to get used to the fact that he was going to be a grandfather but now that he had finally came around, he was the best father in law I could have wished for.

He quickly turned his attention to his grandson, cooing him exactly like you'd expect a grandfather to do. I smiled sadly at the sight, knowing that Charlie would probably be the only grandparent Masen would know.

"You want to hold him?" Bella asked her father, snapping me out of my shocking train of thoughts. Seriously, the last thing I wanted was thinking about the horrible excuse for parents I had while I had just found myself an entirely new family here. A family full of love, laughter and life.

Charlie happily accepted the offer and started rocking the baby.

"I remember holding you for the first time like it was yesterday," he told Bella. "You were just as tiny as this little guy here, but you had a little more hair." He softly chuckled as he was probably replaying the memory in his head.

I tried to form an image of a little Bella, all pouty lips and deep brown eyes. I smiled at the thought, hoping that one day I'd be holding a little version of Bella myself.

Yes, I wouldn't mind having a big family.

Charlie asked some details about the baby and if everything was ready for him to come home, but actually he was too occupied with his new grandson to really listen to the answers. I couldn't blame him.

We spend a few minutes in silence, just happy as we were when I suddenly realized I hadn't properly thanked my father in law for his part in the best birthday present ever. Had to do something about that, hadn't I?

"Charlie, I want to thank you again for finding the necessary information on Emmett. I really appreciate it," I said, sounding a bit too formal.

"Yeah, that was totally my present, but apparently my daughter used it as her own as well," Charlie muttered with a grin on his face.

Bella shrugged apologetically. "You didn't fly across the continent to pick him up, so."

"Without me you wouldn't even have known that you had to fly to the other side of the continent to find him," Charlie challenged her.

I could see that they were just mocking but nonetheless I stopped them.

"I think the result is the most important thing, not who had the biggest part in it."

They both nodded in agreement but I could literally see them thinking that they personally did the biggest effort. I chuckled lightly before returning my attention to the new centre of my universe.

Masen had fallen asleep in his mother's arms, looking completely peaceful and content. Bella carefully placed him into the crib, allowing him some rest now. It must be exhausting being the centre of attention, especially when you're that tiny.

"Are you staying in Seattle tonight?" Bella asked as she sat down on the bed again.

"No, I've got the late shift, so I should probably get back in about an hour if I want to make it in time," Charlie said, checking his watch.

Bella couldn't hide her disappointment.

"I'm really sorry Bells," her father apologized, "I promise to be back this weekend."

"It's okay," she said, but I could see that it bothered her more than she let on.

Just as I was about to say something there was another knock at the door.

"Can we come in?" Madelyn asked from behind the slightly opened door.  
>I chuckled at her caution but then I realized that Bella might have been breast feeding or whatever so it was very predictive of her.<p>

"Yes, come on in," Bella half-shouted, softly snickering as well.

Madelyn swiftly entered the room, immediately heading for the crib while Peter followed with the little Caroline on his arm.

After a moment I realized that Charlie hadn't met my sister yet so I quickly introduced them to each other. They politely exchanged handshakes before turning all of their attention back to the sleeping baby.

When a few minutes later Jasper and Alice came bursting through the door as well, I was feeling giddier than ever even though I really wished Emmett could have been here as well. Then all of the people I cared about would be in the same room. But unfortunately Emmett had an important exam coming up so it was impossible for him to come to Seattle.

Everyone was keeping up a hushed conversation, trying not to wake Masen. I was still sitting on the side of Bella's bed, casually stroking her arm and just feeling goddamn happy.

And that was when the little one decided to make his presence known again - as if we would forget. Bella shot out of bed, a little panickish look on her face when she carefully picked our crying baby out of his crib. She rocked him, shushing him while pressing soft kisses on his little head.

A few moments later he was quiet again, snuggling close to his mother but looking at her with his big green eyes.

Alice instantly made her way over to Bella and asked if she could hold him. She looked so giddy when Bella finally agreed after a little hesitation.

The next ten minutes Masen was going from one pair of arms to another, obviously not minding the extra attention he was receiving. He definitely wasn't going to be a shy guy later, that much was certain.

When he finally ended up in my arms again, he snuggled against my chest, yawning as his little hand tried to grasp my shirt to get even closer.

"Are you tired, my man," I chuckled, already walking back to the crib.

He protested a little when I laid him back in bed but after another yawn he was almost back asleep.

I gazed adoringly at my son, completely blocking out everyone in the room. I knew every parent thinks his own child is perfect, but damn, my boy really was.

That little guy was going to break hearts, I could already tell right there and then.

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><p><em>AN: Thank you all for reading!_

_And this time, MidnightSunSC17 deserves the biggest applause ever! She beta'ed this chapter on her phone because there was no other way to get an internet connection! And that just so you could all have this chapter on time. *standing ovation* _

_You know the formula! Review = sneak peek_

_Love, Ellen_


	33. Wedding bells

_A/N: Another unbeta'ed chapter because my lovely girl is having exams. :)_

_And I'm not sure yeti f I'll be able to update next week… I'm having exams = no life for the next month. I do hope to make some time to write but please don't be mad if I'm not able to update. I kinda don't want to fail my exams… _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 33: Wedding bells<strong>

_Bella_

"Edward, you can drive a little faster you know," I laughed as we were slowly moving through Seattle's traffic.

We were _finally_ going home and now Edward decided to drive 10 mph below the limit. _So not typical of him. _

"You can't be careful enough," he said, throwing a glance at the little, sleeping boy in the back seat of the car.

_Ah, an overprotective dad_.

I decided to not bring it up again because he already seemed really freaking nervous about us going home.

But so was I.

I had freaked out a minute before leaving the hospital, wondering if I would be able to do this all on my own, without the constant help of the nurses. What if I did something wrong? What if he started crying and I couldn't shush him? What if he got sick?

But of course, Edward had managed to calm me down, saying that everything would be okay as I hadn't had any troubles so far.

I guess by now he had finally realized we were on our own, 'cause now he seemed nervous. I briefly wondered if it was because we were in traffic and he was really worried about our boy, but even after we were parked, he still looked tense.

"Are you okay," I asked as he opened the back door of the car to get Masen out of the back seat.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" he shrugged, making me feel slightly better, because it seemed genuine.

If anything major would be wrong, he would probably tell me, so I decided to let it go.

When I entered the apartment, loud cheering erupted from in our living room and I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes.

_Of course_ Alice would have set up a 'Welcome home-party'.

The entire living room was decorated with balloons, teddy bears and festoons. And of course there was a banner as well.

Alice was jumping up and down, just being her enthusiastic self while Jasper was just standing besides her shrugging his shoulders apologetically.

"Alice, how do you even have time to do this? You're getting married this weekend!" I laughed.

"Oh but my dear Bella, I have _everything _under control," she said, waving her tiny, already perfectly manicured hand in the air.

_Oh Alice, what are we going to do with you?_

I was already happy that it wasn't a big ass party though. I was dead tired and looking forward to my own bed. Hospital beds are never as comfortable as your own bed.

Alice and Jasper stayed with us for about two hours, just talking about Masen and the wedding and I found myself actually having a great time even though I was tired.

Once they had left, Edward started cleaning up the living room.

"Are you going to check on Masen before we're going to sleep?" he asked with a kind of weird expression on his face. I narrowed my eyes, sensing that something was up. He looked... nervous? I couldn't quite tell what it was.

I blamed the fact that he had just become a father and didn't question it any further, again, as I made my way to the new baby room, the little room that used to be my office.

A few weeks ago Edward and Jasper had dragged out my old desk, painted the walls in a beautiful shade of blue and put together a lovely crib and a baby drawer. The dull lamp that hung on the ceiling before was now replaced by a red helicopter light. Apart from that they had also glued fluorescent stars to the walls. It was just perfect.

I tiptoed inside, careful not to wake our little man now he was finally asleep.

My breath hitched in my throat when I saw a big carton board with black writing on it sitting at the head of the crib.

I picked up the white board, careful again not to wake Masen who was lying a few centimetres away from the board, but I needed to feel it to see if I wasn't dreaming. I clutched my hand to my mouth and let the emotions swivel through me as I realized that this was really happening. I had to reread those five words several times to really grasp the hugeness of it all.

'_Will you marry my daddy?'_

It was so simple, so adorable but oh so perfect.

And the bow to the entire thing was Edward, who was now standing in the door opening, gauging my reaction as he slowly came closer, holding a little velvet box in his one hand.

I carefully placed the white board on the floor, never breaking eye contact with this beautiful man in front of me. Could this get any better?

And as if on cue, Edward slowly went down on one knee, opening the box and revealing the most beautiful simple silver ring.

"Isabella Swan, you truly saved my life the day you picked me up from the side of the road. You gave me a chance to live again, to love again. And I would love to spend my entire life with you to show you how much I appreciate everything you've done for me but also because I'm just nothing without you. Bella, I love you so much and there is nothing in the world that I want more than for you to be my wife so will you please marry me?"

Tears were slowly sliding down my face now, but an impossible big smile had formed on my lips as well.

I just nodded, unable to utter any words after his perfect words, before falling to my knees as well.

"Yes?" he asked, his eyes glazing over as well now.

"Yes, Edward, yes," I finally managed to articulate. A huge smile spread across his beautiful face, a smile that could probably light up the entire world.

He carefully picked the ring out of the box and slid it on my ring finger. It looked perfect there. Like that ring had been designed to be there. Just like Edward had been made for me.

"It's perfect," I whispered, unable to tear my eyes away from it.

"Just like you," Edward said, before enveloping me in a tight hug.

"I love you so much," I said, pulling him impossibly closer.

"You have no idea how much I love you." His thumb caressed my cheek before he connected his lips with mine.

I don't know how long we sat there, on the floor, wrapped up in each other's arms but I wouldn't have minded to stay there for the rest of my life.

But of course, Masen was still there and apparently in need of some attention. I reluctantly let go of Edward and picked up our son to rock him back to sleep.

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my back against his chest and pressing soft kisses in my neck.

When Masen's crying finally subsided and we were able to put him back to sleep, we retreated to our own bedroom, hoping to catch a little bit of sleep before our son woke up again.

I quickly crawled under the covers, feeling happier than ever.

Edward pulled me closer to his body, pressing another kiss on my forehead.

"You're gonna be my wife," he mumbled to my hair, as if he couldn't quite grasp it yet himself. I couldn't help but snicker but I felt the exact same way.

In such a short notice my life had been turned completely upside down. First a baby and now a wedding. Oh my...

But I wasn't complaining. I was perfectly happy.

"Are we going to wait 'til the weekend to tell Charlie or should we call him tomorrow?" I asked, playing with my ring.

"Charlie kind of already knows," he snickered, pulling me even closer.

"What?" I diverted my eyes from the ring and shot Edward a curious look.

"I couldn't ask his daughter to marry me without having his permission, could I?" he said, looking really proud of himself.

"But... I don't... when?" My mind was going overdrive. When the hell had he asked my dad?

"In the hospital. Right before he left."

"How did he react?" I asked curiously. I couldn't imagine it at all. His moods towards Edward have been very different. One day he would like him and another he would probably want to shoot him as well.

"Well, he was happy I was asking him first, before really asking, feeling all important and stuff."

"Typical," I snickered.

"He was actually quite excited about it," Edward said, disbelief all over his voice.

"Really?"

"Yeah, he shocked me as well."

I decided not to question it too much and just be happy that Charlie wasn't hunting down my soon-to-be-husband now.

Husband.

Oh my.

* * *

><p><em>Edward<em>

"Edward." Bella's slightly annoyed voice woke me up, along with some nudging as well.

My eyes shot open instantly, wondering how it was possible that I had dosed off on the couch. Well, actually I knew very well why I had fallen asleep once again.

I was dead tired.

And the reason of my exhaustion was currently sleeping peacefully on my chest.

_Little bastard._

Masen wasn't exactly the easiest child. Always craving the attention and crying on the top of his lungs at night, forcing either Bella or me out of bed to shush him.

But even though we both felt the fatigue in every muscle and fibre of our body, nothing could bust our bubble of contentment.

Our boy fitted perfectly in our little family we had already built with just the two of us. It felt as if we were even more complete now.

"Careful," Bella warned, already picking up Masen as I was trying to get up, while shooting me an angry glare because I had once again let him sleep on my chest.

She carefully cradled our boy in her arms, trying not to wrinkle anything. My girl – or should I start referring to her as my fiancée now? – was already dressed up in her beautiful crème coloured dress, her hair perfectly curled around her shoulders while I was still in my casual outfit.

"Better hurry up," she said, "You know Alice will throw a fit if we're late."

I groaned as I lifted my exhausted body off the couch, making my way to the bedroom where my rented tuxedo was waiting for me.

Did I already mention that I hated those stiff clothes? Well, I do. Seriously, why would you wear a suit when someone had invented something as comfortable as sweat pants?

But because it would be downright rude to arrive at Alice and Jasper their wedding in sweats, I put that damned tuxedo on.

I was fumbling with my tie, trying to get the knot right while Bella suddenly emerged in the room.

With a sigh she yanked me closer by the tie and quickly put it exactly the way it should be.

_What would I do without her? _

"Thank you," I mumbled, fixing the knot a little so I could still breathe. _They've always said it was necessary to survive, so... _

"You're welcome," she replied sweetly before softly pressing her lips to mine. I hummed in contentment as I pulled her closer.

All too soon she retreated, leaving me pouting. "We really have to go now."

With a groan I took my suit jacket off the bed and followed Bella out of our room. Masen was already in his pram, peacefully asleep again after being woken up because I had to change.

We arrived at the park where the whole damn wedding was taking place about ten minutes late. Bella quickly rushed towards the room where Alice had probably locked herself in, leaving me with our boy, alone in the big wedding chaos.

At first Bella and I had both been reluctant to bring Masen here, as he was still so little, but Alice had succeeded in convincing Bella that he would be fine, much to my dismay. I'd rather have kept him home and safe but no. Daddy's opinion obviously didn't matter.

At least I had managed to convince them to let him go home after the ceremony.

I quickly made my way to the seating area, taking everything in. All of it made me realize how this was definitely not what I wanted my wedding to be. It was just a little too much of everything. A little too many flowers, a little too many ribbons, a little too many flower petals and a little too many chairs as well.

Just a little too much Alice. I guess this really must be her dream wedding.

I took place in one of the overly decorated chairs, feeling a little out of place as I couldn't see my sister and her husband anywhere. Peter was probably with Jasper now, as he was the best man, but no sign of Madelyn yet.

My search was quickly interrupted by my son, who was once again craving some attention. Usually I let him cry for a little while, just showing him that you can't always get everything whenever you wanted it, but as I was already getting nasty stares from the few people already present I quickly picked him out of the pram and tried to shush him. Of course, the crying subsided instantly.

_Little bastard!_

He snuggled closer to my chest and I swore I could see a victorious smirk on his lips. _Yes, you've won, you can stay. _

My focus was torn away from my son as Madelyn took the seat next to me. "Hi bro," she said, bumping her fist to my shoulder.

I quirked an eyebrow, wondering if she was already drunk or something.

"Oh, come on, can I never have any fun?" she laughed. I snorted at her before returning her greeting as much as possible with Masen in my arms.

"How's he doing?" she asked, caressing his tiny hand with her finger.

"_He_'s probably doing fantastic," I laughed.

"Ah, the joy of being a parent."

We had spent the rest of the time before the ceremony talking about Masen and Caroline, feeling like really proud parents.

The wedding itself passed in a hurry, very non-Alice style, actually. I had imagined a long ass ceremony where half of the people invited were already asleep halfway through the show, but to my surprise it was really light and sweet.

Bella was glowing next to Alice, obviously very happy for her best friend. Throughout the entire exchange I couldn't stop thinking about how much I couldn't wait to be in Jasper's spot, looking at Bella the way he was looking at Alice now.

When the rings were exchanged and they were pronounced husband and wife the entire crowd started clapping and yelling. I instantly feared that Masen would make his presence known once again as he was obviously startled by the sudden outburst, but to my biggest surprise and relief he just shifted, his eyes open wide but no sound escaped his mouth. _That's my boy. _

I saw Bella wipe away a tear out of the corner of her eye as she watched the happy couple. _Just you wait, baby, in a few months it's our turn._

The entire mass of people were quickly led to the party tent, while I was already trying to get Masen out of this place. I felt really bad for not being able to stay at our best friends' wedding party, but right now, Masen needed us to be responsible parents.

Bella pushed herself through the crowd to get to me, slightly pushing people aside. When she finally reached us, she instantly took Masen out of my arms, telling him how proud she was that he behaved. I snorted slightly.

"Alice has asked if we can stay for the first dance," Bella casually said, her eyes never leaving our son.

I was about to go against it, but I knew that I wouldn't win this argument anyway so I just agreed, already pushing the pram towards the tent with a sigh.

"Oh, he's such a cutie," an older lady cooed, watching our boy as we passed. Masen kicked his little feet, once again happy with the attention he god. _Oh boy, what will become of you?_

After the woman had left, we were stopped every five seconds by people who wanted to have a closer look or know more about our son. And of course, our little one enjoyed it, greedily extending his arms towards the people who were cooing him.

By the time we had finally arrived at the tent – _Alice obviously hadn't thought about the pram when she chose a park to get married – _people were already toasting.

We had just taken a seat when Alice and Jasper started swaying over the dance floor, doing some kind of twist. _Of course Alice wouldn't just settle for a slow dance. _

I watched with amusement how after a while a few other couples joined them on the dance floor.

"Go dance with your girl, son," the same old woman from before said with a loving smile on her face, kind of startling her with her presence. "I'll take care of this little one for a few minutes."

I was a little hesitant about leaving our son with a complete stranger.

"Don't worry, I've raised seven children, I know what to do," she laughed, almost pushing both of us towards the dance floor to join the other couples.

_Oh well, she won't be able to run away with the child, will she?_

I exchanged a few glances with Bella but in the end decided that there wasn't much that could happen. I leaded my girl towards the crowd.

Unlike Jasper and Alice we did slow dance, just enjoying being close and us.

"I can't wait 'til we're in front of all of our family and friends," I whispered in Bella's ear, pulling her even closer to my chest. She hummed in what I think was agreement, slowly shuffling to the music.

We danced a few songs until the DJ had an announcement.

"The father of the bride would like to dance with his daughter."

Alice squealed in delight as she almost ran towards her father who was already waiting for her. He said something to her which I understood as 'No weird dances moves for me' before they started shuffling across the floor.

Jasper came to our side, glowing like a child on Christmas while he talked about how amazing his day already had been. I wasn't listening anymore. All I could think about was that one day I would be the one talking about how perfect my day was. I felt my heart thundering in my chest at the thought of it. I couldn't wait for my wedding day to come.

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><p><em>AN: Thank you for reading.  
>Review = sneak peek!<em>

_Love, Ellen_


	34. To send or not to send

_I'm sorry for the delay, but I am in the middle of my exams and have barely time to write (I don't even seem to have time to breathe…) But here is the next chapter anyway (The second to last!)_

_Oh, and it's unbeta'ed because I didn't even have time to send it to my beta (Sorry girl!)_

**Chapter 34: To send or not to send**

_Bella_

"Okay, now you're going to tell me what's going on," I huffed, slightly annoyed.

I had finally had enough of Edward's avoidance. He had been off for a few days now, I guess since Alice's wedding and I had absolutely no idea why.

I had looked passed it ever since, only asked occasionally if he was fine and he would just shrug it off, but now it was time that he let it all out. If not I would probably lose my mind.

"It's nothing, Bella, don't worry," he shrugged, once again avoiding the conversation and trying to walk out on me.

"No, Edward, it's not nothing! You've been sulking for more than a week now, and I'm tired of guessing about what!"

"It's no big deal, really."

"If it wasn't a big deal, you'd let it go, but you obviously haven't so spit it out," I said, taking his hand and leading him towards the couch. With a sigh he obliged, quickly intertwining our fingers and letting his eyes wander over them.

My thumb started rubbing soothing circles in the palm of his hand in an attempt to relax him. I could literally see the tenseness in his muscles.

"It's, err, it's about my parents," he said softly, his gaze never meeting mine as he spoke those words.

My heart was speeding up in my chest and I could feel my breath hitching in my throat. _What about your parents?_

"I've been wondering if I should, I don't know, maybe talk to them or..." He trailed off at the end, obviously not knowing what to do about it himself.

But this was a big fucking deal.

The Edward from a few months ago would have never even considered _thinking_ about this, but yet, now he was. He was even contemplating talking to them.

"Why?" I asked carefully as I had no idea why this was all of the sudden his main concern.

"I don't know," he said, unclasping our hands so he could run them through his messy hair. He looked troubled and I knew that it wasn't up to me to decide anything here. This was all on him. It wasn't something I could choose for him. I couldn't tell him to go or not to go. This was something he had to figure out on his own. But of course, that didn't mean that I didn't want to help him.

"Maybe because of Emmett's story," he sighed, still gripping his hair, "I mean, they must have realized they made a mistake. Maybe I should give them a chance to explain. Or maybe it's just that now that I'm a parent myself and that I can't picture ever losing my boy..."

"You're not like them, Edward," I said, trying to calm him down because he'd be bald soon if he kept pulling his hair like that.

"I have their genes."

"That doesn't mean anything! You've already proved that you are an amazing dad!" I offered.

He didn't respond to that, just kept staring out in front of him, flexing his fingers ever so often.

"What if they still don't want me," he finally mumbled, voicing the reason that held him back from his idea.

"Well, then they will never know what an amazing son they have," I said, taking his hands between mine and forcing him to look at me. His eyes were full of sadness, fear and pain and it made my eyes sting with tears.

"Why does this matter to you now?" I asked, still not quite understanding where this all came from.

"I want them to see that I'm not some criminal teenager anymore. I want them to see that I'm grown-up and that I've reached stuff in life. I want to stand in front of them and introduce you, being all proud that you're mine," he declared, casually playing with the ring that now occupied my ring finger.

"You want to show them that you don't need them?" I asked.

"I guess... I don't even know. I just saw Jasper with his parents at the wedding and they were all staring at Alice from a distance, looking all proud of their son and I just wished I could have that too you know." _And there it was. The reason of it all. _

"You want them at our wedding?"

"No!" he said, but then his face fell, "I mean, I don't want them there... yet, I think..." He once again gripped his hair, groaning in frustration as he obviously didn't know what he wanted even though he kind of did. _Oh man, he's so confused he's making me confused as well._

"You want to just talk to them?"

"Do you think I should?" he asked, his eyes meeting mine.

"Will you be able to let this go without talking to them?"

He shook his head. "Well, there you have your answer," I said, squeezing his hand.

"What if it ruins everything?" he asked, shooting me a fearful look, "What if it destroys everything we have here? I can't lose you and Masen."

"We won't let them," I said determined.

"I just wish that if I decided to talk to them and it appears to be going the wrong way, that I have a way out..."

"That they won't be able to find you again or...?"

"Sort of," he sighed.

"Well, you could meet them somewhere away from our place here," I suggested, kind of wondering how serious this was getting. A few minutes ago I still didn't know what was nagging him, and now we were already talking about him talking to his parents again. _Oh god._

"I'll need you there," he said, obviously panicking at the thought of having to face them alone.

"I don-"

"No, Bella, I'll need you," he pleaded once again, grasping my hands tightly to the point that it was almost painful.

"Okay," I agreed, "But what about Masen?"

"He stays out of this for as long as possible" he said determined. His fast reply made me realize how much he had actually already been thinking about this.

"You really wanna do this?" I asked.

"I think it's not really about wanting. It's about needing. I need to face them and let everything out once. I need to know why they weren't better parents and I need to know why they never really attempted to find me after they had thrown me out."

"You need closure," I mumbled, realized what this is all about. For all this time, Edward believed he wasn't good enough, for nobody, but now he had finally realized that he was worthy of love and friendship and that realisation must have made him wonder why his parents – people programmed to love him – never showed him any love or affection. He needed to get that out of the way before he could really accept the fact that he _was _loved.

"I'll need to talk to Madelyn and Emmett first though. I don't want to do anything without their approval," he mumbled.

"Edward, this isn't about them, it's about you," I said, not really understanding why he was worried about his siblings now.

"It is about them as well, Bella. If I decide to talk to them, I figure that they'll want to know about Madelyn and Emmett as well." _Okay, he had a point._

"So, what's the plan then?"

"I don't know," he groaned once again.

"Well, there's no rush so..."

"But I can't let it go."

"Maybe you should indeed start with talking about it with Emmett and Madelyn and hear them out," I suggested, "And after that you can still see what you want to do." He nodded in approval and I could see some of the tension finally leaving his body.

"Should I call them now?" he asked, checking his watch.

"You'll have to wait to call Emmett 'til tomorrow, 'cause he's probably sleeping now," I said, "But maybe you could call Madelyn."

"Yeah?"

I could help laughing at that last comment. He was constantly looking for confirmation about things he had suggested first himself.

"You won't be able to let it go before you do, and I would actually like to sleep as much as possible tonight. A crying baby is one thing, a troubled boyfriend another one," I laughed.

"Fiancé," he corrected with the biggest grin on his face.

"Fiancé," I repeated with a smug face to match his.

I have him a quick kiss before ordering him to call his sister. He pulled out his phone but I could see him hesitating.

"Call!" I ordered, running my hair through his hair as I walked out of the room, declaring I was going to check on Masen while I actually just wanted to give him some privacy.

* * *

><p><em>Edward<em>

I ended the call, still feeling fucking annoyed and undecided about this whole damn thing.

_Yeah, calling Madelyn hadn't exactly been a step forward._

Slumped down on the couch I was trying to make up my mind, but I felt like I was walking around in circles. Every line of thoughts would make me end up at the same questions; "What if I only end up feeling worse?" and "What if they still don't want anything to do with me."

I was pinching the bridge of my nose, hoping that the solution would suddenly dawn on me, but unfortunately luck wasn't on my side.

Frustrated, I got up from the couch and walked towards the baby room, hoping that I would find some peace of mind over there. When I walked inside, Bella was sitting in the rocking chair, eyes closed, and Masen seemed to be asleep in her arms.

I leaned against the doorframe, just feeling pretty damn lucky that this was my life now.

And that's when I knew it.

Even though they could make me feel bad or end up not caring about me, they could never take away what I had here. I wouldn't let them.

I tiptoed my way through the small room and crouched besides the two most important people in my life. Masen was indeed asleep and snuggled very closely to his mother.

Bella slowly opened her eyes and looked at me with a lazy smile. I pressed a kiss on both of their foreheads before retreating back to the bedroom.

A few minutes later Bella joined me, eyeing me curiously while she got dressed for bed.

"So..." she finally asked when she got under the covers.

"So... what?" I chuckled. Of course I knew what she was referring to, I just liked to tease her. _Sue me!_

"Edward," she whined, punching my arm teasingly.

"She suggested asking Carlisle for some sort of e-mail address to contact them first. If they ignore the mail, I'll know enough and I won't have to really face them."

"And why didn't we think of this?" she said, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

"But I'll have to use a new mail account. I can't have them stalk me once I decide to leave them alone."

"You've really thought about this, haven't you?"

I just nodded, unable to explain how long this has been haunting me. At first there was Emmett talking about how they had changed after Madelyn and I had left, then there was Masen who made me feel like a parents and made me want explanations, and then the last straw, Alice's wedding.

Maybe I had been lying to Bella. Maybe I did want them at our wedding. But not in a way you'd expect. I'd want them there just so they could see that I'm perfectly fine without them. It may be a harsh thing to do, but they were the ones to throw me out, so I guess I can do whatever the hell I want, and if I want to make them feel horrible at my wedding, then so it be.

"There is no need to call Emmett anymore. Madelyn says that he will support whatever I decide," I explained. Apparently my siblings had already once had a conversation about this subject. Madelyn as well had had a feeling where she thought it would be good to try finding them again, so of course she was supportive of my idea. But she was too chicken-shit to make the first move, so that'd be my job.

And making the first move was exactly what I did the next day.

Or what I attempted to do.

After a two hour long conversation with Carlise about it all – he really wanted to make sure that I was ready for this - I found myself sitting behind my computer, staring at an new e-mail but unable to think of any words to write.

"_Hi, it's me, Edward, the son you threw out of your house two years ago. Yeah, well, I'm kind of wondering if you'd like to get some coffee soon because I want to see if you're really as miserable as Emmett told me. Let me knoooow" _wouldn't exactly do the trick.

But then again, I didn't want to be too nice to them as well. I didn't want them to think that everything was already fixed before we had even started.

Eventually I ended up writing something too formal for my liking but it was all I could come up with.

_Hey. It's Edward. Reply if you want to talk. Sincerely yours. _

Stupid, I know.

But even than it took me more than a half an hour to actually press the send-button. If it wasn't for Bella, I'd probably still be staring at the damn thing.

And now, I only had to wait for a reply.

Part of me wanted them to answer, another part wanted them not to. It would be easier if they'd just ignore it but I knew then that the whole thing wouldn't stop haunting me.

So I waited.

Two whole days.

And then I just gave up and realized that I was checking my mails in vain. They had really given up on me. I don't know why it hurt that much, but it did.

It was like they had thrown me out all over again. I had offered them a second chance and they had just thrown it away.

Bella as well had noticed the effect their ignorance had on me and therefore she did everything to distract me and keep me away from the computer. It worked, mostly.

By the time the fourth day had passed, I just checked my e-mails once a day, just out of habit. Okay, and maybe some little part of me hoped that they would still reply. Even though I felt like they'd dumped me once again, I still couldn't let it go.

I was their son for Christ's sake!

And so I spend the entire day wondering if maybe I should have given them some more information about myself. Maybe I should have told them that I was fine. That I was about to get married.

But then when I logged on the next day, my inbox wasn't empty like usual. There was one new mail and I was instantly frozen in shock at the sight of it. My heart starting thumping in my chest and my breathing was uneven.

I wanted to scream for Bella to come but I was unable to utter any words. Instead I just took a deep breath and clicked the e-mail open.

_Dear Edward,_

_We're sorry for our late reply but we were shocked to find you contacting us and didn't know how to reply. But of course we would love to talk with you once, if possible._

_Just name a time and place and we'll be there._

_Mark and Elisabeth. _

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Yeah, I am rushing through this. Sorry if I'm ruining it. But thank you for sticking with me. There is only one full chapter left, (I told you, rushing…) and then we have the epilogue…**_

_**I guess the next chapter will only be up in two weeks… Exams end around that time so ;)**_

_**I hope you can forgive me!**_

_**Oh, and reviewers, you know the formula ;)**_

_**Love, Ellen**_


	35. Forgiveness?

_A/N: Last chapter and I still don't own Twilight. Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 35: Forgiveness? <strong>

_Edward.  
><em>  
>I was a nervous wreck.<p>

And that must have been the biggest understatement ever. I don't think I had ever been more nervous and anxious before in my entire life. And that is a lot to say for someone who lived on the streets for about a year.

I was pacing around the living room, pulling my hair so hard that at some point I thought I would just literally tear it out.

"Edward, you can still call it off, you know," Bella said, annoyance but also worry visible in her eyes.

For a moment I thought about it; just cancelling the whole damn thing, taking a seat on the couch and relaxing, but in the end that wouldn't solve a goddamned thing. I had to be brave and I had to face them.

"No, I can't. I need this to be over with now," I stated forcefully, both trying to convince Bella and myself.

"Okay then, let's get moving!"

My heart was pounding ferociously as I walked outside, my hands were shaking and I was probably sweating like a pig who was about to be slaughtered.

Yeah, I was going to make a fucking good impression this way!

"Masen is okay, right?" I asked, needing the confirmation once again before I could step inside the car.

"Yes, Alice and Jasper are taking care of him and Alice's mom is stopping by this afternoon as well," she said, probably for the fifteenth time today. It was the first time I was leaving my boy behind and it wasn't exactly something I liked doing. Especially because I wasn't about to do something I liked in general.

I was finally going to face the two people who claimed to be my parents. I was finally going to try and find closure with everything. And as much as it excited me, it mostly scared the crap out of me.

All I could imagine were things that could go wrong. And believe me, there was a lot to take in account when you're meeting your parents who never showed you any love throughout your entire childhood and ended up throwing you out of their house like a piece of garbage.

Luckily, Bella had been the rational one in all this mess and had helped me with all of the appointments and shit so now, if I decided that I didn't want anything to do with them after this, they wouldn't be able to find me because of this little encounter today.

We were going all the way to Vancouver, to some little restaurant I had never been to before. It was far away from our home and everything we had now.

Today's appointment could pass without any harm if I wanted that. Well, apart from mental harm. But I think I was already immune to that after what they had already done to me.

I didn't know what my parents were up to. Maybe they had just agreed on this 'meeting' to call me out again and break me mentally or whatever. It was all so damn confusing.

By the time we had pulled up in front of the little Italian restaurant, I was completely losing it. For the entire drive, I had been going back and forth on the entire matter, contemplating pro's and con's for the umpteenth time.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea," I whispered, unable to move out of my seat.

"No way, we've come all the way over here," Bella stated firmly, "It's too late to chicken out now!"

It took me another twenty minutes to actually get out of the car and I could see the concern in Bella's eyes every time I got hold of the door handle just to retreat it again.

Once I finally did get out, she offered me a weak smile, but one that had an encouraging message as well.

_Move on._

After taking another deep breath I forced my feet to move towards the entrance. My heart was racing in my chest as I stepped inside the brownish red, overly filled with furniture, dining room.

My glance instantly fell on the two figures in the back of the room, as if it had already registered that they were there without even having the need to check the entire place. There weren't much people in the restaurant, but still, I was kind of freaked out by my own ability to spot them so easily.

They both looked worn out, dead tired and so much older than last time I'd seen them. And they obviously had both lost a few pounds. I swear my mother could easily go through as a skeleton. It was almost sickening to see what had become of my parents.

I found myself frozen in spot as I was taking them in, finding details about them, but the longer I looked the more I realized that those two people were no more than strangers to me. All I could feel was coldness rolling off from them, the same coldness I remembered feeling when I was around them as a child.

_Well, that at least hadn't changed.  
><em>  
>"Are you coming?" Bella asked, already walking towards the table, oblivious to my sudden change in demeanour.<p>

"They're already there," I choked out, my eyes never leaving the people I referred to as my parents. I could feel my palms getting sweaty and my brain was screaming at me to run, to get the hell out of this place and never even think about returning, but Bella was looking at me with a look that doesn't allow objection.

_It's too late to chicken out now! _

When I still didn't move, she took me aside, out of their sight - not that they had already noticed my presence but I was happy she did nonetheless.

"Edward, look at me," Bella ordered, taking my forearms in her hands, forcing me to tear my eyes away from the floor that I suddenly found very interesting. "You are so much more than they are. You're so much better! And that's why we're here. We're here to show them that you don't need them, that you're just fine on your own!"

I swallowed hard, repeating Bella's words in my head as a mantra over and over again.

"You can do this," she added, squeezing my arms once more, showing me her support. She would be right beside me the entire time, I knew she would, and that's what ultimately had given me the strength to move forward, towards two people I hadn't seen in well over two years.

As I approached their table, I was still repeating my girl's words in my head, trying not to let fear control me.

_You're so much better._

You don't need them.

I really fucking hated the way they could make me anxious just by being in the vicinity. It's not like they could harm me physically, and probably not even mentally, because in my eyes, they had already committed the worst crime by giving up on me.

Well, I guess, in the end, I just wanted them to show regret. I wanted it so fucking badly I realized I was even willing to beg to see them break down in front of me.

The moment my mother looked up at me, looked me straight in the eyes, I could already tell that I wouldn't have to beg. There wasn't much left of the woman I had known - even though it was only barely. She used to be strong, independent and intimidating. But the woman sitting in that booth was nothing but intimidating. She was weak and broken, like a slight breeze would already be enough to blow her away.

My father was no better. He was slumped down, looking a little less bad as my mother, but enough to see that he as well wasn't the same person as he was when he threw me out of his house.

The CEO of Cullen Enterprises was no longer.

"Edward." Elisabeth's voice was just as fragile as her demeanour as she spoke my name but even though it should have made me feel horrible to see my parents like this, it gave me strength. Strength to know that now I had actually more power than they had. I was fine without them, they weren't so much without me and my siblings.

"We didn't expect you to come," Mark said, a little smile tugging on his lips as he took me in, "But I'm really glad you did."

I didn't respond to either of them but just took my seat in the booth, opposite to them and waited for Bella to be seated to say something.

"Bella, Elisabeth and Mark. Elisabeth and Mark, Bella," I introduced, emotionless. I could see my mother cringe at the use of her first name instead of the word 'mom'. I would never be able to call her mom. She had never been my mom in the first place. Mother was already difficult enough.

"Nice to meet you," my father said, throwing glanced between the two of us, obviously trying to figure out how much Bella meant to me.

Bella nodded in agreement but I could see the angry glances she was throwing at them. She had my back and I loved her even more for it.

"How have you been?" Mark continued, obviously trying to start a conversation but I actually couldn't utter a single word. I mean, who did he actually think he was, asking me how I was? I could have been dead for all that mattered.

Well, I would be if it weren't for Bella.

"Good," I replied after an uncomfortable silence. And if I say uncomfortable I mean really fucking uncomfortable.

I didn't mean to be rude actually, as I really wanted to make this dinner worth it, but I just had so much hatred inside of me, boiling under the surface that I just couldn't seem to make a decent sentence.

Luckily the waiter soon showed up, giving all of us a moment to feel less awkward. For a moment I thought about just getting up again and leaving the room because this was just leading nowhere. I had a feeling that we would just end up eating in silence, saying absolutely nothing and that'd be it.

"You don't live in Vancouver anymore, do you?" my father asked me, once the waiter had left, destroying my plans to just get up and leave.

I contemplated a moment before answering the question but then decided that they still couldn't find me if I told them I didn't live in Vancouver.

Yup, and entire world of land left to search for me.

"No, we don't," I replied, giving them something to think about by adding "we" to it.

My mother's eyes widened for a moment before she slowly nodded.

"Then where do you live?" she asked, carefully.

I had to bite my tongue not to give them some snide remark about how we had gone over this. I had been very clear about not wanting to tell them where I lived now, but apparently they didn't get it.

"Edward, why don't you come back to Vancouver? We can start over again. Get to know each other for real," my mother said, her voice so hopeful it made me want to throw up.

And that's when it had happened. That's when the anger had broken through the surface.

"Fuck it! Seriously! Fuck it," I yelled, standing up from my chair to give my words more force. I was now bending over the table, my eyes boring into those of my parents. "You never did anything for us. All you cared about is work, work work. You didn't even look at us."

"Edw-"

"No, you don't have the right to decide for me what I should do now! You can't expect me to just drop everything and come back!"

I was so mad at that time I swore I could have thrown the table across the restaurant. Adrenaline was pumping though my veins at top speed as I said everything I had held back for so long.

"I'm not a child anymore! I can make my own fucking decisions now! I don't need you and I guess I never have. I'm fucking fine on my own and I don't need you to start babying me now, because you've given up that right the minute you decided work was far more important!"

I was gripping the table so hard I would break through it any moment now.

"How could you? How could you leave three children behind every fucking day? I couldn't even fucking leave my boy for a day today, and you, you just took off for entire months, not even caring that we might want our parents home!" I continued, feeling really fucking victorious until I realized what I had just said.

"Your boy?" Elisabeth's eyes suddenly shot up, boring into mine when she as well registered those words.

Fuck.

I quickly looked at Bella, panic overtaking my anger for a moment.

Fuck. The only thing I had wanted to keep from them. Masen.

And I hadn't even succeeded in that. My anger had taken over my rational brain and had caused me to slip. I felt defeated for some very odd reason. Like my biggest secret was now out in the open, ready for everyone to take advantage of it.

I slumped in my chair, all my anger gone as I watched my mother's face tear up once again.

"You have a boy?" she asked again, her voice so fragile it made me want to crawl under the table for yelling at her. _What's up with those mixed emotions? GOD!_

Why did she have that effect on me even though I hated her? I ignored her question though, not willing to confirm it, even though not saying anything was enough of a confirmation for her.

"I'm so happy for you," she whispered hoarsely.

We all remained silent for what seemed like forever. During the course of events, Bella had placed her hand on my thigh, squeezing it slightly to both calm me down and show me that she was okay with the whole slipping thing.

All of my anger was slowly dying and was all of a sudden replaced by sadness because of my lost childhood.

"Why?"

The word had left my mouth before my brain had registered it.

Both Elisabeth and Mark were now staring at me, hurtful looks on their faces. I didn't need to explain what I meant by that word, they knew it.

"And please don't tell me that you were trying to give us everything a child could ever wish for by working that much," I added, tired of hearing that same excuse over and over again.

"We were blinded by the money," Mark said, his voice full of regret. His eyes were cast down, to the table. For the first time they were admitting it. I knew it, of course. I had known the real reason for a while now and to be honest I hadn't expect them to be so straightforward about it. I had expected them to try and talk their way out of it a bit more, but they didn't.

They simply admitted that they had been wrong.

And that was enough for me to forget about the anger that had controlled me minutes ago.

"You can't expect me to forgive you," I said truthfully, because I knew I would never ever get over the way they treated my siblings and me when we were children.

"We don't," Elisabeth said, but I could hear the sadness in her voice. Of course it was only normal for them to hope for it. For a fresh start. But at least they were smart enough to know it would not happen.

"I can't stay mad at you though."

Three pairs of eyes suddenly stared at me, confused the main emotion but relief was visible as well.

"Because if you guys wouldn't have thrown me out, I would have never been walking that street where I met Bella," I added, throwing a loving glance at my beautiful girl next to me and she was smiling widely at me as well.

Pretty damn fucking fantastic feeling.

After that we spend the rest of the evening just chatting. I refused to give them more details about Masen though, but they did get a short version about how Bella and I met.

I must admit, it was awkward. They were still strangers to me. People whom I had known my entire life, but still knew nothing about.

They gave me a short version of their lives, going further in detail about everything they'd gone through after I was gone and then after Madelyn and Emmett left as well.

I was watching two people who had fallen apart because they lost something they never thought they would in the first place. And it had only hit them at that moment that they were losing something. Too late of course.

Thanks to Carlisle they had found themselves a good psychiatrist, someone who had been helping them for a while now, helping them sort out priorities and had helped them learn to deal with the lost of all their children because of their stupid, selfish behaviour.

And as they were talking, showing me every way they were trying to get better, trying to move forward and away from the people they used to be, I realized that maybe not everything was lost. Maybe this could be the start of something new. The start of a whole new future combined with flashed of the past.

* * *

><p><em>AN: And that was it. I know it was a quick ending, but I kinda felt like this was the end. I could have written another chapter but it would have been meaningless so._

_There is still an epilogue to come and I'll probably post it Tuesday (if I have time, 'cause I'll be celebrating the end of my exams :D)_

_MidnightSunSC17, thank you for everything! I love you!_

_Interested in more? Check out the epilogue of my new fic **Tongue Tied** ;) _

_Love, Ellen_


	36. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_Edward_

Life on the streets is an easy life to live, at least to some extent. You do whatever the hell you want, whenever the hell you want to do it. You're no one's responsibility nor are you responsible for anyone.

Easy.

But it's also a hard life to live, void of any emotion or ultimate happiness. You're just a lonely soul wandering the globe without any purpose. But that's the price you pay for ultimate freedom.

Bella had once asked me if I missed it, the carelessness of the street life, a life that doesn't start and end along with the hustle and bustle of the city, a life where you don't have to worry about paying rent and those goddammed bills and honestly, I must admit that maybe in a certain way, I did miss it, but most definitely not enough to throw away everything I had established these past few years. Being responsible was a hard, time-consuming job, but it's what you get in return that makes it all worth it. More than worth it.

I've already had a good life, you know. Almost everything I had once dreamed of as a little kid had been realized. I had a loving wife, three beautiful children and a job I loved just as much as my family.

Right after our second son had come along, we had had to move out of our apartment though, much to our regret. We didn't like leaving behind our first home and every memory attached to it, but there just wasn't enough space to fit two children.

But we had found ourselves a beautiful house - with a porch and a backyard - just a few minutes out of the city limits. It was everything we could ever have dreamed of. And on top of this beautiful family of my own I now had, I had also managed to bandage the old ones that were once damaged. Madelyn was a regular visitor with Peter and her two kids and even Emmett had found someone to settle down with. Rosalie was what you could call a blonde bitch, but once you get to know her, she's someone you like having around. All of this was the ultimate proof that whatever had harmed us as children didn't have any effect on our lives now. We were all happy and damn successful in life.

Nonetheless I had never been able to have a decent relationship with my parents though, because you can't built anything without decent foundations. But we managed to stay put and that's what counts.

They had been there at my wedding and every other significant moment in my life but other than that, there wasn't much of a relationship. And it worked for both of us. They were happy to see I was putting at least some effort in it and I was relieved that they didn't push me into something I couldn't do.

So as I said earlier. I had a good life. And as I watched Masen load the trunk of his new, second handed car, ready to leave for college, I realized that I could only hope that all of my children and their children and so on, would have as much love and happiness in their lives as I had in mine. Well, only without the hard childhood and the nasty street life, that is. Even though I would never trade my youth because ultimately, that's what has ultimately led me to where I am now; a grown man standing on the porch, together with his wife, middle son and youngest daughter, waving at the rear end of the car in which his oldest son had just left. A vagabond who had willingly given up ultimate freedom for something even better.

Love.

**~THE END~**

* * *

><p><em>AN: Well, that was it. I'm feeling quite sad now. Gonna miss writing about them… _

_So, first of all: Thank you to EVERYONE who read, reviewed, tweeted, PM'ed, commented, whatever; I can't tell you how much it means to me. I really appreciate it and I love you all for sticking with me those past six months! _

_A special thanks to MidnightSunSC17 who beta'ed and helped me to make this fic better! You're the best and I love you!_

_Oh, if you're interested; I've just started a new fic '**Tongue Tied**' and the epilogue and first chapter are already up :) _

_Love, Ellen – hope to see you again soon! _


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